ummmm... help - religious post

kimberley wrote: ok, so Father John has been my favorite priest for years. he is very open-minded and an asset to the catholic church imho. i was lucky enough to get him at our parish this year. he was supposed to baptize Kaleigh (i know, should have been done by now ) and bless our marriage but they just phoned me know saying he resigned!!!!!!!!!

wth?! you can resign from a parish?!?! i know they are a bit snotty at my church but resigning?! does that mean they are too snotty for one of the best priests in the freakin province?! why did he leave?

i now have an appt. with the new priest tomorrow, re: the baptism and blessing, but i fear i will get the same brick wall i have with other old-school priests. you had kids out of wedlock, you were married without a spiritual leader..yadda yadda yadda. i attend church as often as i can. my son has trained as an alter boy. our spirituality is important to my family but that doesn't seem enough?!

i want Father John back!

and Kaleigh isn't baptized yet because of gross mismanagement by the church staff. i requested in MARCH this year to get her done and they kept telling me the baptismal team is busy. they come out and interview you before you can baptize your child to make sure it is the right choice for your family they finally did it a couple of weeks ago after me calling every week all this time.
and our marriage hasn't been blessed because they required us to go to marriage classes that we cannot afford and happen when dh is working. they are 40min away and we are not allowed to bring children. how they heck can i meet those standards?!

what do i do?

mom2my2cuties replied: No real advice just

Boo&BugsMom replied: Can't give any advice either, sorry.

C&K*s Mommie replied: I am not Catholic, so this is so very new and confusing to me. So I will offer 's too.

redchief replied: Wow, Kimberley, I'm sorry you're in this spot. I've heard about priests resigning; usually that has to do with personal problems.

Unfortunately it seems to me that Canadian Church rules are a bit different from ours. Here, you would have to attend Pre-Cana, but the parish will pay for it if you can't afford to. Also, you wouldn't run into the problems you're having getting your nuptials blessed here, especially since you have children. I am Godfather to two young ladies who entered the Church in much the same way as you are trying. I also never heard of a Baptismal Committee. Here, you visit the Priest at rectory or Church and Baptismal arrangements are made. Since you're Catholic, you may have your children baptised here without any additional requirements. Your marriage doesn't have to be blessed to have your children baptised, though it is recommended. Again, I'm sorry this has been so difficult for you.

Crystalina replied: First of all don't feel bad because your kids aren't baptized yet. My little hellions aren't either. I posted on here about that when I first joined and I was freaking and found that most families wait until the kids are older. I'm Catholic and DH is Methodist. We don't know which way to go. So we are in limbo right now.

It's hard when you lose someone you're used to. We got a woman and I just can't get used to it. Call me sexiest but I want to hear sermon from a man. I've tried to listen to this woman and one other and their voices just don't do it for me.

I hope someone here can give you advice.

booey2 replied: Not to sure what advice to offer other than to go and meet the new priest, you never know he might just okay and accepting of all that you have done already. As for resigning - the only other time I have heard of this happening was when our parish priest who baptised Matthew 8 years ago did it but he left the priesthood altogether. Not sure why but hey not my business. I will offer calming vibes and hugs. I now how much stress this can put on you and your family. We had to go through marriage classes and baptismal classes (luckily they didn't do home visits). I was also marrying someone from a different diocese then mine and I had to get permission from the bishop to do it. Luckily he granted us permission. We are struggling now to get to church as often as we want to and it is our own fault but the parish priest we have now is just such a stick in the mud, I am falling asleep during his mass and I love to go to church. Growing up I wanted to be an alter server and this was way before girls were allowed to serve and I dreamed of one day being a priest. Oh well. Hang in there, it will all work out.

Terri

C&K*s Mommie replied: Our girls are not baptised either, that will be a decision that they go forward with on their own one day.

holley79 replied: Everything that was going through my mind came out in Ed's post.

I'm not sure what to do sweetie. All I can do is offer tons of . Where is the your favorite Priest going? Is he going to another parish?

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Ditto! Our church does not even do them, they do a dedication. Then when they are old enough they can choose to get baptised at their will. Although, this concept has been hard for hubby's family to swallow. They are all Lutheran.

kimberley replied: i guess i am sexist too cuz i expect the gospel to be read by a male priest. i guess i am a creature of habit .

Kaleigh is my only child that hasn't been baptized by 3mos. maybe i am supersititious but what if something happens to her and she's never been baptized?!

this is all so upsetting. i wish i knew why he resigned!

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Do you have a way to contact him? Could he baptise her on his own time?

holley79 replied:
that's what I was wondering.

booey2 replied:
Kimberley, if you are really worried about her not being baptised, you do know that anyone who is a practicing catholic who has been baptised can to do it using holy water. I know my grandmother, the boys great-grandmother did that to both the boys the first time she saw them.



Terri

kimberley replied: i have no clue where to find that information. if he is not with any parish, i don't suspect he can baptize her at all.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Who says? I don't meant to pry, I'm just not familiar with the Catholic faith.

redchief replied:
Kimberley, if something should happen, have no fear. You can baptize her yourself in an emergency; or have a hospital priest do it. Both of these forms are recognized in emergency. So, no superstition.

Make an appointment with the new priest, perhaps you'll be able to pick up right where you left off. Additionally, I would ask the pastor, discreetly, if there is any way the Pre-Cana fee can be waived.

redchief replied:
I know this is an open forum, but the question was specific to the Catholic faith. No disrespect is intended toward other faiths or belief systems, but I don't think interjecting other dogmas and beliefs here is being very helpful.

booey2 replied:
I don't think it has to do with being with a parish, a family friend who was a priest retired and wasn't assigned to a parish, similar to resign a parish. He married DH and I before he passed (whole other post someother time) at my home parish. As long as he is still a priest he should be able to baptise her if that is what you really want. Although I don't think that if he has left the priesthood you will get much information.

kimberley replied: thanks Ed. it is less the fee and more the time and no-children rule that make it difficult for us. for dh to take a day off work for this would cost us half a week of groceries each class, nevermind the fact that we have no sitter.

i didn't realize i could baptize her myself. i do have holy water here so if need be, i feel better knowing that.

and tannerbug's mom, he probably "could" do it, but it wouldn't be recognized by the church. just like if i do it.. it is just not the same.

booey2 replied:
Kimberley you do know that you leave your gang with us if they would be willing to come. Or I could spend the day there is you are stuck?

Terri

Crystalina replied: Surely the church can find him.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
That is not why I asked, Ed. I simply asked because I am not familiar with it. I said nothing of the sorts about it not being important (bring in other Dogma), because it's clearly important to her, I asked because I was trying to understand why he possibly couldn't do it. Period. I'm sorry, but I did find this post a little rude since I, nor anyone else has said anything offensive. The most that has been said outside of the Catholic perspective has been what Nicole and I have stated. I don't see how that is bringing other Dogma into it.

Thank you Kim for answering my question. That is all I wanted to know, since I am not familiar with the "policies" of sorts of the Catholic church.

kimberley replied: ok so i called the archdioses to get more dirt and all they would say is he left the parish for "personal reasons". they won't say either way if he left the priesthood altogether. one of my old neighbors played hockey with him, so i am going to phone them later and see if they know more. i really liked Father John and his interpretation of our faith. i really need to know why he left. i am totally questioning everything right now.

redchief replied:
Forgive me for misconstruing the intent of the question. I did so because of the history of this thread. I apologize.

booey2 replied:
Sorry they weren't much help, at least you have one other option with calling your old neighbours later. Hang in there.

Terri

coasterqueen replied: Kimberley, I have nothing to offer but . I hope the situation gets resolved soon and you get some answers.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
That's ok Ed. We have the same love of Jesus and that is what matters to me, not whether you are a certainn denomination or not.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
At least you can go ahead and talk to the neighbor. Perhaps they can give you a number to reach him or something. Just remember, everything happens for a reason.

kimberley replied: thanks everyone. Fr. John told me himself, not to allow my closeness to him be part of my faith. he encouraged me to forgive the less-forgiving priests and accept that they are still teaching the same ideals. it is just difficult for me to understand why one of the best priests in this city is suddenly AWOL.

i called the parish saying my kids had a card for Fr. John and where could i send it, and they wouldn't give me a forwarding address, just said if i send it to the parish, he will still get it

redchief replied: That they'll forward communication from the parish is a sign that Fr. John is still in good grace with the arch-diocese. Hang in there Kimberley.

Boo&BugsMom replied: Kimberley, perhaps then you can send the card and ask for him to contact you. It's worth a try at least. It seems he is very wise, from what he has told you. I know it's hard to have a good priest/minister/pastor leave. It's usually what makes the church whole. If we ever have to leave our current church (moving possibly, or whatever), I will truly miss our pastor. He's really the only thing keeping us there right now.

ashtonsmama replied:


Sorry that happened...

CantWait replied: I'm so sorry Kimberley. The high standards the RC religion places on people is one of the biggest reasons I have pretty much left the Catholic church. I hope that the new priest works out better then you're anticipating, and all goes well. No advice unfortunetly, just a lot of well wishes. I know how important having faith is and some comfort in above is.

A&A'smommy replied:

cameragirl21 replied: Kimberley, believe it or not I have experience with something like this.
When my godson's mom was arranging his baptism, she had a hard time because she chose me as the godmother/sponsor and apparently the Catholic Church requires proof of communion and confirmation from the godmother, and I obviously have neither.
As it turns out, when we spoke to the Archdiocese of Miami, it seems that each church has its own rules (to a certain extent) and that some are more strict than others.
My suggestion--ask if the parish knows where FR John is...I met with a priest some years back who was very open minded and when I called for him at his parish, it seemed he'd moved and they gave me his new number.
The only other advice--find a different parish, sounds like this one is stricter than others you may find. My GS's mom went through several churches till she found one that would accept me as a godmother.
Peace be with you....

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Kimberley I'm so sorry. I hope you get it all figured out.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I have nothing to offer...but hang in there...it should all work out!

Hillbilly Housewife replied: I agree with Jennifer here - every church has different rules... when Zach was baptized, the church fiasco (which I won't get into now) required the godparents to be over 18, take a class, and be a practicing catholic. For my 2 daughters, who were baptized in the parish I was married in, the godparents just needed to be over 16.

I was baptized in my home, when I was 2 weeks old...and I have baptism papers linked to the church the priest was from. Never hurts to ask... maybe an officiant can do it - the same way a marriage is valid... ya know?