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tiny vent - may offend, kinda long


mommy_loves_chase wrote: When i met my Boyfriend he had 2 son's who he spent tons of time with and was also paying 700 a month in child support leaving absolutly no money for himself or bills even working the 100 hours a week he was working, Anyway when i met him and his kids were coming over on the weekends his youngest said i love you mommy to me right in front of his real mom this started her furry accussiong me of forcing her child to call me mommy, im sorry but your not gonna make a six yr old do anything a six yr old doesn't wanna do!! anyway time went by and on christmas day when she came to pick up the kids john was at work and she walked in my door so drunk that she couldn't stand straight and i refused to let her take those kids out of my house for good reason i believe well this thru her furry even more to the point where she told john he was not to see his kids anymore and would not bring them over we faught and faught with her to let him see the kids and because the custody order didn't have set times for visitation we were told that she wasn't breaking any laws so here we are paying her 700 a week in child support only for him not to be able to see or talk to his kids i guess because of me, so he gave up and signed off on the kids hoping that when they became a bit older they would find him and ask what happened and he can explain so the child supposrt was to stop and he just had to pay the back stuff 50 a week well we just found out that he is being charged 260 every 2 weeks!!!!! thats more then half his check this week? as far as i know this against the law??? that will leave us with like 60 to pay phone cable and state which are all due today...... GRRRRR just one day where all can go right please

JessC replied: I am so sorry you are having a bad time, I hope you and your family can get through this, besides the law, I have no clue... But that doesnt seem right with the child support, but I also could be wrong... Sorry not to be much help.

hug.gif hug.gif

guertin31 replied:
im not sure if that was ment for me so i deleted my post. I dont want to offend anyone.

kimberley replied: sorry for your troubles. hope you can find some way to resolve things. i suspect there is more to the story than you are saying since zero access to the dad would be a violation if there were any visitation put in place. all he would have to do is see a lawyer and have set visitation days/hours written out. and $560/mo for two kids isn't bad.. not here anyway. most guys pay way more than that. anyways, hope things get resolved for the kids' sake.

Jamielou replied: Well it all depends on where you live with the laws and stuff. When you say he signed off on them did somebody else adopt them and order you not to pay support anymore? and all he would have to do is get a lawyer and they would change the papers so he could see his kids. I know in tn that when you sign your rights over as a parent that you still have to pay the child support unless there is someone willing to step up and adopt the children. Do they live close by? If it were me nobody could keep me from my kids....

gr33n3y3z replied: I agree with Kimberley
I hope this get taken care of fast bc its not right for the kids to be hurt in this

My2Beauties replied: Hon why would he waive his rights to see his kids over something she says? I would get a lawyer and get visitations, to be honest $260 every two weeks is not a lot of money! Please no one bash me for that, but it's not, Brian pays out at least that plus any extra money for things that Desiree needs. So I can understand your frustration with her and keeping him from his kids, but to be honest you cannot get mad that they are requiring him to pay child support, he has rights to see those kids, he needs a lawyer, but regardless of whether he sees them or not, he has to pay it! blush.gif I'm sorry no one bash me!

mckayleesmom replied: I agree...that is not very much for 2 kids....for clothes..food...etc...I mean no disrespect, but he also is having a child with you and needs to pay his expenses towards that...regardless of what kind of mom she is. The fact that he was already having trouble paying her..and then is adding another baby on top of that,,makes him the irrisponsible one...and him signing off on his kids because of money..well..that doesn't say a hole lot about him.

luvbug00 replied: I agree with Mckaylees mom on this. But that's all I can say without going too far. Hope you can make your bill we just jumpped that hurddle rolleyes.gif

amynicole21 replied: My sister's boyfriend is going through something similar. He has no problem paying the support - it's his responsibility. But, the ex won't let him have visitation which is expressly worked out in the divorce agreement. Very sad situation.
Your BF should get a lawyer and fight her for a visitation schedule. It's expensive, which is why my sister's bf is having such trouble, but isn't a relationship with his kids worth it to him? If he waits until they are old enough to come to him, the damage will be done. He's likely to lose them forever. As a father, I'm sure that's not what he wants. sad.gif

Also, most states (don't know where you live) have a formula for how much support is owed. Lots of things are factored in, but they aren't singling him out by charging too much. If he refuses to pay support, he will go to jail in the blink of an eye. Trust me, he doesn't want to test a judge with that... the deadbeat dad law is very tough.

It's such a difficult situation, and the mom is being a major wench, but for the sake of the kids he's got to be the bigger parent and do what's right. Hang in there - it won't be easy.

mummy2girls replied: 260 every 2 weeks is not that much here. Aron pays 300 a month but thats because we did that agreement between the 2 of us.. If i took him to court he would have to pay more..

I get testy when it comes to this because i do get child support for my dd. he and i planned to have jenna and he should have to pay expecially because he did plan her. Even if it was an accident he still would have to pay. he is the dad!

MM'sMama replied:
I agree 200% this kind of thing really hits a sour note for me so I wont get into it but I do agree fullie.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Just saw this, thought I'd jump in.... it really sucks that you guys are losing out on 700$ a month.... but it's really not a lot of money for 2 kids.

My mom is a fmaily law lawyer.... the amount given by the courts to pay is based on salary received every month - and if it's taken automatically off the wages, that's called garnishing. Not illegal - but you need a court order for it I believe, and it costs money everytime the wages are garnished.

Which is stupid, in my opinion... but... that sort of stuff happens all the time, and it really is a pity.

I really suggest that your bf not write off his kids - my dad wrote me and my brother off because of child support and him not seeing us more than once or twice a year.... it's harder to get back into contact afterwards.

Good luck... and I hope things improve.

PS - is cable really that important if you only have 60$ left before you pay it and state? blink.gif

mammag replied: I agree, I'd cut out things you don't need right now and figure out a way to pay for his kids, get the visitation, and support yourselves. I guess I would just say think of if it were you and your kids.....sure you wouldn't behave the way she is but the kids can't be expected to pay for the sins of the moterh per se. They still need things and as their father, he should be providing. Hope you get this worked out.


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