stupid stupid dave Ramsey - financial freedom vent

PrairieMom wrote: URG! you guys. I have such "Ramsey Rage" right now.
We are one month into our 13 week financial freedom class, and I am starting to feel a little down about it.
I am just feeling so hopeless.
The whole goal of the thing is to get rid of debt, build a savings and change my life style so that I am no longer buying on credit, and saving to buy the things that we need.

the problem is that it seems like we will NEVER have the things that we want. Ever.

If I follow the plan I won't be able to buy anther fun thing for at least 5 whole months. Then I won't be able to buy another thing until we save up enough go buy a new-to-us car. how long will that take? I don't know maybe 2 years or so.
then our $ will be spent on a car, so I will have to save up again for a few years to get another big ticket item like that in ground sprinkler system that I want.
Its just so much easier to use credit and get the things that we want. there are tons of things I want right now, and I am feeling really deprived.

Okay, I know that this is important to do, and will benefit my family later, and it will only be this hard in the beginning, but MAN!! I just want a new camera and to order out some frigging pizza!!!
I feel better now.

grandma replied: It will be worth it. I just paid my car off and it's in great shape, so now I'm riding almost free....lol
Make some more crafty stuff to sell.

sparkys2boys replied: Its tough isn't it We do that alot here to buy on credit and pay off.. its a crazy cycle though. And its always in the moment items*sigh* just last week I wanted a new MP3 player so I go get it. Just like that.. we want a new tv we go get it.. and not all of it is on credit so that makes it worse, means we are spending money we could have saved. I dunno, I think you have to enjoy some or what the heck are we all working for and life is to short not to, but we also have to save too. I dunno when you figure it all out let me know, in the mean time pass the pizza

luvmykids replied: I know, it's very hard, especially when you're responsible with credit cards, it seems like it can't be THAT bad to use them. We were debt free for four years and then got stupid, and are still digging out and kicking ourselves, if it's any inspiration at all, being debt free (other than a mortgage) feels better than any purchase I ever made on credit. Hang in there, I admire you for trying it

PrairieMom replied:
I have, I listed a TON of stuff on ETSY, but so far, no more bites. I have also gone though the house and dug up a bunch of stuff to take to the pawn shop, and I listed some stuff on EBAY. I'm gonna work some extra shifts too.
The thing is that doing all this makes me feel like we are in financial trouble and is giving me anxiety, when in reality we are in a pretty decent place.

Calimama replied:
Man you shouldn't have said that. I HAD to go look and fall in love with the barrettes. I think I need a 12 step program.

PrairieMom replied:

Me too. I have a barrette making addiction.
My DH keeps loosing them. every weekend I work he looses at least one. Stupid boys.

grandma replied:
can you post that link again? I'd love to see the barretts...

Calimama replied:
Well you're now 2 barrettes and 1 hat less. Then I remembered I wanted to order DH a clutch to put in the car for him so I had to go back and make another order.

PrairieMom replied:
OMG you are too funny. Thanks for helping me out.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I know the feeling. It's so hard to live debt free. We haven't had credit cards in years, but there is also so much stuff we need. Our house is neglected a lot and so are plenty of other needs like doctor visits, etc. I know it's my fault b/c I spend on other things and should be saving. I need to let go of the greediness. That is something you can pray about. I remember when Scotty lost his job and we were practicing self control I thought that I would never spend another dime on something we didn't need. I was so wrong. Scotty has done well with this, but I haven't. I know this has a lot to do with our recent problems. Just pray about it and allow God to give you peace.

msoulz replied: It is tough for sure - but keep your eye on the prize! It's a relatively short period of time that you need to be uncomfortable and then you'll have it made!!

bawoodsmall replied:
The barrets are way to cute. I wish I would have gotten them when Em was younger though because they dont work on her hair. My niece has some very cute barrets now though.

Tara it is so worth it. I know it is hard to not buy things you want when that is the american way but be strong because I agree with Monica in having no debt feels awesome. I would much rather have that.

luvmykids replied:
I was thinking some more about this, and if it helps motivate you at all, the really awesome thing is when you can reach that place, your money is actually YOURS...then you CAN spend some, save some, etc....its amazing how rich you feel on the same amount of money when you don't have those nagging debts.

If you can just stick it out you won't regret it

mom21kid2dogs replied: We've lived debt free (including mortgage) for over 10 years and it is SO worth it!!!It is so hard in the beginning not to get the things you want (as opposed to need) but like lots of other depravation(like dieting ), it does get easier. I really like to fall off the wagon every once in a while so I got my own credit card. It really keeps me in check with spending when I know I have to pay out of my check whatever I put on it every month. Like lots of other people, we ran up lots of credit card debt in the first few years of our marriage and spent 3 years digging out and vowed never again. We haven't taken a "vacation" in 5 years and are hoping to save for one this year~that's the part that I really hate the most. I doubt we'll get to do it this year due to huge dental bills for Stephen and my parents 50th wedding party/trip. We'll likely just try to set some aside to go away overnight on our 25th anniversary in Nov.

Guess I just turned this into a group whine, eh~sorry!!!

MommyToAshley replied: I once had a lot of credit card debt from my college days... I worked 80 hours week to pay for college and expenses, but that still wasn't enough to cover living on my own and paying for college. However, I did manage to pay it off before we got married... it wasn't easy.

We don't have any credit card debt now... we don't have any debt except for our mortgage (and we've cut that in half). We don't buy anything unless we have the cash to pay for it. We use a credit card almost exclusively, but we pay it off at the end of each month and never pay interest. It will be hard work to pay off those credit cards, but you will see how easy it is to save when you don't have to spend all your money on credit card interest. It won't take as long as you think to save for the things you want once you get rid of the debt.

I also think you should allow for some awards along the way. If you do a great job for two weeks then you get to treat yourself to pizza out. You need a little reward once in a while and pizza once a month isn't going to break you. Just don't fall back into the bad habits, set goals for yourself and reward yourself when you reach them.

Also, once you are out of debt and don't owe anything on the credit cards, then I suggest you get a credit card with a rewards program. Be sure you pay it off every month, don't carry a balance, and you'll never pay interest. However, you get free money this way. We paid for the majority of our wide screen TV with Best Buy gift cards from the rewards program... and we never paid one cent of interest to the credit card company.

Hang in there. Stay focused on your goal and how it is goign to feel debt free. It's tough, but I am anxious to see what you say next year at this time if you stick with it.

PrairieMom replied:
I know, I totally get it... but the thing is that really, all we have is $5000 left on the car, so we are doing all we can to pay that off, so then my $ will be MINE, but after socking all our $ onto the loan... we won't have any $.
Its all my state of mind right now. My head knows that we are in a good place and totally fine, but My emotions are telling me to be in panic mode since I "can't " have anything. I feel broker now than I have ever felt, even tho really, we are probably sitting better than we ever have. Every week I get crabbier and crabbier about things until I go to the class, watch Dave, then he talks me into feeling better about things. It usually lasts about a day, then I start to get crabby again.

PrairieMom replied:
I'll be to busy rolling around in all my $ to hang out on the computer.

MommyToAshley replied:
Oh, I see how you are.... you're going to abandon us once you make it rich!

PrairieMom replied:
well, yeah. I'll have to go find the rich snob message boards to hang out at.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: lol!! Tara we dug out of 50K worth of debt in 2 years. We did allow for fun money, though. It's getting over that initial hump... once your payments start getting lower, you keep putting the same $ on the bills to pay off the capital... and it just gets easier from there.

Keept 10$ for every 100$ you save or you pay off that's extra. That's what we did... and I ended up not spending it... Go figure.

redchief replied: Lisa and I got rid of the credit cards about 15 years ago. I was never so glad about that as I was last year while my job situation was in flux. Hopefully the little bit I got behind last year won't take too long to get straightened out. The debt took nearly 10 years for us to work off.

Danalana replied: Tara, I'm sorry you're frustrated...but take heart! I know several people who worked on their finances with Dave Ramsey books and CD's and it really helped them a lot. You can do it!

my2girls replied: Just remember Dave's famous saying:

If you LIVE like no one else, later you can LIVE like no one else.

Do not live like the Jones', keep on saving , living within your means, pay CASH ONLY ( no credit cards ever, that is what a CASH emergency fund is for) for items and then when you are set to retire at 55-65 you will have a ton of money and live DEBT FREE!!! Other people will still have a house payment, car payments , credit card debt and hope that the little they saved in retirement and social security that that will be enough to live on without having to get a part time job...YOU and your family will be on vacation somewhere ( paid with cash) and have enough money to pay for college for grandkids and have a VERY comfortable retirement stress free!!!

You can have pizza and sodas, just not Pizza Hut...get a take and bake pizza at Costco for $10 ( and they are extra large too) or Walmart for $6.99. You can have fast food if you have coupons, you can have a sit down meal at a resturant but only on kids eat free night ( that saves alot of money).
I make a game of trying to find family friendly cheap or free things to do. I can afford to pay for stuff ( now that we are debt free thanks to Dave!!) but I prefer to not pay for stuff.
Free library classes for my 2 dd's ( I love the 1 hour I have to read all the magazines I can , no need for a subscription) . We pay the annual pass for State and national parks ( $80 for the year) and go on day and over night trips to Utah , Arizona, Calif and Nevada ( over nights including food , camping fees and gas range in total price from $50-$150). Michael's crafts have low cost classes for my dd's and I ( ranging from $2 each to $15).
If you make it a game , try and not feel like this is a chore or worse act like you are "poor" then you can have some fun getting out of debt!!
Once you pay off that car it will "drive" different , just like Dave says. Its yours free and clear!!! Once you pay it off you keep paying yourself the " car payment" (if all of your other debts are paid off of course) and before you know it your emergency fund is fully stocked!!
I've been through this same program , had the same feelings but there is NOTHING like the feeling I got when we went to buy a" new to us car" from a car dealer and laid out our CASH offer in front of him in $100 bills!!! The look on those salesmen faces and the faces of the other people "buying" cars on credit was PRICELESS!!!!

A&A'smommy replied: It SUCKS!!!! I'm sorry but you are doing a GREAT thing!!!

HuskerMom replied: I'm sorry you're frustrated. But if you stick with it you'll be so glad in the end. And when you're debt free you can call Ramsey's show and be one of the people that get to yell WE'RE DEBT FREE!

My2Beauties replied: I'm right there with ya, we're trying to pay debt off and it's killing me not to go buy clothes and stuff. Hang in there hon!

holley79 replied: Stick with it girl. You will do well.