my cat died
cameragirl21 wrote: well, it's not MY cat as in my baby, thank God, but it's a stray who's been living with me for 5 years now, he lived outside in my yard but I named him Starlight and he never left my yard, ever, in those five years he was here.
Well, Thursday morning he didn't show up to eat which is very unlike him, he's actually a neutered male, it seems someone must have owned him because he was fixed when he showed up but at first I thought he was a preggo female because he was always hungry no matter how much I fed him. He was back by Thursday afternoon but he was withdrawn, wouldn't eat the tuna i tried to hand feed him and seemed distressed, so I called my vet and they said he'd be fine till morning and just to bring him in Friday morning.
So i did...it turned out he had a tumor AND his bladder was full of blood and crystals...poor guy couldn't pee at all, he must have been in so much pain.  
So it cost me 700 bucks but it was so worth it if he'd feel better but this morning he wasn't around and when I got home around lunchtime I found him dead.
I don't know what more I could have done, I am so sad, i feel like i let him down even though the vet's office said i did all i could.
RIP Starlight
ZandersMama replied:  That is so sad, but at least you know he was happy and fed, and loved his final years. Kudos to you for taking care of a stray for so long.
Calimama replied: I'm sorry hun.
sparkys2boys replied: Oh Jennifer I am so sorry.
amynicole21 replied: Awwwww, poor kitty I'm so sorry. At least he had someone who cared about him very much.
kit_kats_mom replied: I'm sorry Jennifer. We had something similar happen to us with a neighbors cat. I really missed that little guy when he died. It's amazing how quickly you can become attached to an animal.
MyBabeMaddie replied:
RIP Starlight, I'm sorry to hear about your cat Jennifer
HuskerMom replied: I'm so sorry! He was such a pretty cat too.
Farelle replied: I'm so sorry!!!!! You are a wonderful person for giving him the care that you did!!! Don't feel bad at all, most people would not have even fed him in the first place and that is how he probably ended up in your care to begin with!! I'm sure he had a much better life, however short it was because of you!! We need more people like you in the world then there would be less pain and suffering for so many helpless animals!!!
lovemykiddies replied: I am so, so sorry. At least he had you to enjoy his life with! I know how painful it is to lose a pet.
Crystalina replied:
PrairieMom replied:
kimberley replied: i am so sorry. at least he is not suffering now.
luvbug00 replied: I'm sorry.
mom21kid2dogs replied: Sleep well, Starlight!
msoulz replied: So sorry Jennifer.
cameragirl21 replied: thank you, everyone, for your kind words, it really means a lot when i'm feeling despondent like this.
i buried Starlight behind my house today...i couldn't do it yesterday because i had to shoot yesterday afternoon and evening and the land where i live is basically lime rock and i couldn't dig a big enough hole by myself so i had to put him in a corner incline and buy some soil at home depot this morning to cover him with. i did cover him with a shroud yesterday while he waited to be buried.
i know it shouldn't seem like a big deal but it is to me because i feel like i let him down. i *thought* i was doing everything i could but somehow he still died. i really don't understand why God did this or what He wants from me.  i don't mean to turn this into a religious discussion or debate, i am just expressing myself, that's all.
if Starlight had died before my intervention then i'd have thought i failed to take the proper action but i dropped everything and took him to the vet Friday morning at which point my vet dropped his full schedule for Friday to rush Starlight into emergency surgery and when i heard it would cost 700 bucks, i didn't even flinch or hesitate...told them to do whatever they had to do to save his life. and don't get me wrong, it IS a lot of money and i was less than thrilled about spending that much but what else could i do, let him die? it wasn't even an option, i'd have paid any price to save his life or any life in my hands. the vet worked hard, said his prognosis was good, that he'd recover fully and be just fine and then i dropped everything Friday afternoon to pick him up so he wouldn't have to spend the night in a cage at the vet's office...i tried everything i could and while he didn't want to eat on Friday, he did go to the water bowl to drink some water and i thought he was getting better and then he died.
seriously, i thought i did everything right, what more could God have wanted from me? why did he have to die after everything? i know i probably sound naive and wishy washy but i just can never understand why these things happen after you do everything you could. it just breaks my heart, i feel like i let Starlight down.
gr33n3y3z replied: sorry to hear that Jennifer
kimberley replied: J, you did everything you could do. it was in God's hands and if He saw fit to take Starlight, then you need to just accept that. bad things happen all the time and there aren't often logical answers for it. it was just Starlight's time to go.
kit_kats_mom replied: Jennifer, this may sound kind of crazy but I swear it's true. Look for the lesson. I'm not sure what it is but if something like that is really nagging at me, I look for the lesson and try to live it. Otherwise, the same things will keep happening until you learn. KWIM?
Maybe you will take away the unintended lesson at first. Perhaps in this situation, you would take away that Extending love to the innocent is pointless. If that is not the lesson you are supposed to learn, similar things will continue to happen until you figure out what you are supposed to get from it. Once you get it, you've earned your degree and that lesson is checked off...on to the next one.
Perhaps the lesson is tied into your ALS work. It seems similar in a way. Lots of emotional involvement, monetary involvement, terminal cases etc. I feel that the lesson is probably a positive one but you may have to do some searching to figure it out. Let me know when you do.
jem0622 replied: :-(
HUGS
punkeemunkee'smom replied: I am very sorry that you lost Starlight. Do not look this as something you did not do correctly or God wanting something more from you though-obviously you took the best care possible of an animal entrusted into your care. I don't believe that God expects anymore than that.Just as I don't believe He desires you to hurt or causes you pain as some sort of a lesson plan..As hard and as heart breaking as it is We are all only here for a season. You said Starlight had been with you for 5 years and since he was already grown when he came to you-perhaps,sadly his season here was simply over. I am once again very sorry that you lost your pet. IDK if it helps you but I am a true believer in the passgae in the Bible that says that God keeps His eye on the sparrow and therefore I believe we will see the animals that were given to us in this life to love  again 
momof2girls replied:
My kitty died a few years ago, I was really really sad, hugs to you!
jcc64 replied: I'm really sorry, Jen- losing an animal is so hard. I think I couldn't possibly say more than Cary did- in situations like that, it's the only way to cope.
CantWait replied: I'm so sorry Jennifer
MomToThreeAngels replied: I am so so sorry hon.
coasterqueen replied: I'm so sorry Jennifer.
grapfruit replied: I'm sorry to hear about your loss It's sad to loose a pet (stray or not). I guess I missed what was wrong w/him? Why did he go to the vet?
cameragirl21 replied:
he hadn't been sick at all, it all happened very suddenly...everything that led to his going to the vet is described in the original post. he was rushed into emergency surgery and then died the next day.
i really did love that cat.
lovemykiddies replied: cameragirl21...could you do something in honor of Starlight? I don't know--write a poem, or make a collage (not sure how many pictures you have of the cat)...write a story about him, or put a small headstone near his grave? I'm really sorry, and hope you are healing from the loss of your cat. Like I said before, I know what it's like.
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