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moms that are not with childs dad...

mummy2girls wrote: I have a question..... Jenna has asthma as you know so cigarette smoke irritates it and can cause an attack. Arons( jens dad) girlfriend Bea is a smoker. and jenna has told me on numerous times she smokes when in the truck driving. I know I cant prevent smokers coming near her all the time BUT in the truck...WTF is she thinking! Expecially because her son is allergic to cigarette smoke. I have confronted aron about it and said this needs to stop. because that one time they dont have the puffer it happens.. He apologized but i still hear stories she is stil ldoing it. arons sister said.. she is stubborn she is hard headed! . I dont care this s my childs health. Arons family has told her on numerous occasions that if she pulls out a cigarette in the truck and jen is with trhem they tell her to put it away. well thats what they say.. who knows. one word agaisnt the other. Anyways ive tried it by going through aron but his sister and mom said go directly to bea and maby she will listen that way! But i feel that may be going over the line. I have always said an believed that no fighting in front of kids and i want civil relationships for jennas sake. you ticked off at me come to me when jenna is no where in sight and vice versa .. i always have left jen with marcus and taken a ride in the car and called him on my cell. so if it was you and it was your childs health woudl you bite the tongue, still hound ex, or go to GF?

holley79 replied: I am with my daughter's father but I have been on the flip side of the coin here. If you have a problem with me come to me and not my DH or my stepson, come to me. I would talk to Bea.

luvmykids replied: Same as Hol, I'm with my kids dad but as the stepmom, Nikkas mom has no problem talking to me if she's ticked about something and I like it that way. Having DH do the talking just gets things muddled and if she went through him I'd wonder why she didn't just come to me in the first place.

ZandersMama replied: i would talk to her for sure, and i have spoke up when it was exs family. no sense complaining to ex, because he might just not say anything to her. i have told curt hundreds of times the baby is not to be around smoke but he wont speak up around his family. so i did. and now they dont tongue.gif if YOU tell her then you know she gets the message, kwim?

mummy2girls replied:
thats what i think but some tell me thats goign over the line others say yes go to her...

mummy2girls replied:
true... ok maby i will talk with her.. civilly of course...LOL Maby not...LOL

stella6979 replied: Poor Jenna. I would definitely talk to her and make her understand that it is not acceptable. I just can't fathom how anyone can smoke around a child, much less a child with asthma. sad.gif

luvbug00 replied: as you know mya has asmah as well. This is concidered a form of neglect in a court of law here. ( or so my new laywer tells me) becuase it is knowingly putting the childs health in danger. I don't care what anyone says asmah is SERIOUS and not to be messed with. I tried the telling dad route and have been told if not on good par with the mother she can claim it as harrassment if you attempt to contact her and she persistantly refuses. I personally have started not letting Brad have mya one day of his visits, if she has come home the weekend before smelling like smoke. I check her EVERY time she comes home and i document it. I wouldn't want anyone arround my child who is ok with putting her in harms way. I've warned brad if tabitha doesn't stop mya isn't going to thier home an he can visit with her elsewhere , i seggest you do the same.

DVFlyer replied: Isn't there a law about smoking in a car when there is a child present?

A&A'smommy replied:
Yeah I would talk to her about it, I can't believe after all the knowledge we have about cig. smoke now that she would still smoke with and asthmatic child present... hug.gif hug.gif

TeesaŽŠ replied:
Is it in the States too? I know it was just passed here in Canada.

Unfortunately, I don't see how they're going to enforce it. How can they stop every car to ticket them? I think it's going to end up being like the no littering law. Illegal, but "we can't be bothered to do the paper work because it's too much paper work so we won't do anything about it." growl.gif growl.gif growl.gif growl.gif I'm sorry, but I pay the TAXES that pays your SALARY which DEMANDS YOU GET OFF YOUR BUTT AND DO THE BLASTED PAPERWORK!!!

** blush.gif and gets off her soapbox **

Danalana replied: I would definitely talk to her. She isn't even his wife, for goodness sakes...this is your child (and his), and her health takes precedence over "crossing the line" (in my opinion). I wouldn't even stress about it.

DVFlyer replied: A quick google search:

holley79 replied:
I know it's the hardest thing in the world but it's best to try and establish a positive relationship with Bea. Let me tell you, I have eaten some serious crow with Brandon's mom and it was hard as heck but I did it. I was much happier when she came to me because it's just like the "rumor game" when we were in school, it always gets jumbled. I would have much more respect for you if you came directly to me.

holley79 replied:
It has not been passed in the state of FL. I was pulled over in the neighboring county because i was cooling off a french fry by holding it out the window. I got lite up and the deputy said he pulled me over because he thought I was smoking with my daughter in the car. I explained to him that I wasn't smoking but the state of FL has yet to pass that law. Working for the agency I do, I keep on the up and up of those laws.

punkeemunkee'smom replied:
rolling_smile.gif emlaugh.gif rolling_smile.gif yeah right Hols a french fry! rolling_smile.gif emlaugh.gif rolling_smile.gif I know but still that is the funniest one yet! rolling_smile.gif emlaugh.gif

mummy2girls replied:
oh we do have a positive relationship because thats what i want for Jenna. we are very nice and civil to one another. In front and behind jennas back. If bea ticks me off and jenna is no where in sight then i may go off and vent to myself. but i never fight with her and vice versa. But i do see what you are saying

holley79 replied:
That's good Shelly. I remember after Brandon got older he thanked me for being nice to his mom even when it wasn't vice versa. My thing was, I will always be the bigger person it's hard but it is something that needs to be done for the children's sake whether they are your children or your spouses children.

holley79 replied:
Girl I swear it was. emlaugh.gif emlaugh.gif

grapfruit replied:
You get pulled over for the CRAZIEST things. Weren't you stuffing your face w/gummy worms a few days back and got pulled over?? emlaugh.gif

holley79 replied:
wavey.gif wavey.gif

Yep that would be me! I have checked the back of my grocery getter and my truck to see if my deputies put a sign back there that says, "Hey this chick is crazy pull her over." but I can't find it. emlaugh.gif

kimberley replied: if talking to her doesn't work, call a cop and tell them her route at a certain time of day that she would have kids with her. i am sure a $300 ticket will get through to her. dry.gif

luvbug00 replied:

good idea. again i say NOTHING is going to stop me from making sure my child is safe, no matter how many people i have to tick off. *sorry very sore and fimiliar topic for me. **

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