i seriously need some help..

JBl wrote: I am a first time father. i have a 6 week old baby girl. her mom and i arent married yet so she stays at her house. I am trying to juggle work, school, and the baby. I've been doing fine with that, but the problem is.. were bottle feeding, she was born early at 5lbs 14oz. now she is around 9. we recently moved her up to 4oz roughly every 3 hours. My mom has three children, all born at naturally. She breastfed, my problem is that whenever the baby is crying my mom had the tendency to want to feed her. So earlier today we fed her at 1040, my mom decided to watch her because we were tired, and fed her at 1240, an hour early. My girlfriend got mad and now we are fighting because of it. My dad, being over dramatic is saying that he never wants her to come over, and she cant come with us on this trip that were taking, and all this other stuff. Im really stressed at the moment because i dont know what to think. I mean.. i try to be the best dad i can, and try to have good judgement, but my mom had three kids.. she should know when the baby is hungry or not. I guess my question is.. is it alright to feed the baby an hour early if she looks hungry? that and any advice...

Thank you

A&A'smommy replied: it is perfectly fine for the baby to be fed an hour early. Your mom obviously fed on demand and not on a schedule, which seems to be what you and your girlfriend are doing. I would say don't let something so small come inbetween your family it only makes things more difficult I would talk to your girlfriend and help her to understand that your mom knows what she is doing she has had 3 children and raised them just fine AND while you are your childs parents that your mom is not going to try and harm her and that she just wants to help. Also speak to your mom and dad and remind that you are new parents still trying to figure all this out and please follow your wishes. I would say that is more normal for a 6week old to eat every two hours instead of every 3 which could be a bit long for her even being formula fed. It does get better!!!

JBl replied: This isnt the first time though.. and i have been doing that, i have tried to tell my girlfriend everything you just said, and i have spoke to my parents about it. See.. the thing is.. my girlfriend is stubborn, and says that she knows she isnt hungry, i just dont know.. i really do love her. and i hate that im being put into a position like this. cuz at this point, my dad is pretty much say its either us or her and i cant live like that..

gr33n3y3z replied: Nothing wrong with feeding the baby an hour early thats for sure nor an hour late. If they are truly hungry they will let you know.

It sounds like more is involved here then just feeding the baby.
It sounds like everyone needs to sit down and get it off their chests

wcs40110 replied: Babies dont really eat if they're not hungry. What's your girlfriend so worried about? Your baby being overweight?

JBl replied: we have all sat down and talked about a similar situation, after that, i thought everything was good. But, my mom did go straight to feeding the baby before changing her or trying to sooth her, and she doesnt like giving her a pacifyer. given this information is my mom the one in the wrong? we changed her after she was fed and she was wet.. but she was knocked out, she wasnt fussing, she didnt spit up, but i think she did have a little tummy ache. This is why i dont know what to think, because i believe that my mom couldve tried other tactics to calm her down, but on the same token, i want to believe that my mom knows what she is doing because all of her children are fine.

luvmykids replied: Lots of people do things lots of different ways with babies. It sounds like your mom and girlfriend are having a power struggle, if thats the case they're both wrong

Neither of them is doing things the "wrong" way from what you've said, your girlfriend needs to understand that your mom is not ruining your baby and your mom needs to understand that this isn't her baby and as hard as it may be she needs to let you guys feel your way through this.

A&A'smommy replied: I have to agree babies wont eat if they are not hungry and if they did she would spit up pretty soon afterwards. It sounds like you have already done everything we have suggested which means there is nothing really you can do now just let them haveit out.. you need to tell your dad that you can't choose between the mother of your child and your parents and its not fair for him to make you choose, if he continues then maybe you should just choose and I think you know who you should if it actually comes to that (which I really hope it doesn't because that is MISERABLE!!!). Tell them how miserable they are making you...

moped replied: I still feed my 3 month old daughter when I think she is hungry.....your daughter was born early so I would think she could stand the extra food.
I totally understand the schedule, but if your gf wants any help from your mom she should try to be a little more lenient.........

gr33n3y3z replied: what differance does it make to change first or feed last or vise versa
And your Mom did just fine bc your here right

Like I said it sounds like there is more to this like maybe your GF is VERY Jelious of your mother for some lame reason
Thats what it sounds like to me

I hope you nip that in the butt fast bc that can become very nasty

JBl replied: I want to thank you all for your help. I spoke with my girlfriend and my parents, and they apologized to each other. Your opinions really helped me out. Im glad this whole mess worked out for the best, my dad is still crazy.. haha, but i can't really help that.

Again thank you for all your help and support.

gr33n3y3z replied: I'm glad

A&A'smommy replied:
Thats awesome I hope everyone remains nice for you!!!