family visit pending - 2 wks

boyohboyohboy wrote: Every year in the summer for two weeks my parents and my grandmother come from Az to visit with us.
I should be happy about it, but it always turns into so much trouble.

My family is not close and we actually only still speak because we live so far apart. Email is the only way we do talk.

My mother and gramma will spend their time going thru our home, seeing what is new since the last time they were here, and saying how we waste money and that should have gone into the kids savings account.
They will critize my cleaning and house,(mind you I am a neat freak)
They feel my kids are not raised right and are neglected.
I think we pretty much fail as parents..
then they will tell me how if I dont treat my husband better he will leave me, oh and then we cant forget that they have to add in about my weight and no wonder my husband will leave me..

two weeks of this constant putting me down about does me in...

and it is such a stress getting ready for them to come..
how old do you get before you stop caring what your parents think?????

coasterqueen replied:

lovemy2 replied: Stop allowing them to stay with you......

moped replied: That is not very nice at all.....I am sorry!

cameragirl21 replied: Oh gosh, that sounds awful, Stacy.
Honestly, I'd just smile sweetly and say, "we're doing great and everyone here is happy but thanks for your concern" and move on to the next subject. If they only have negative things to say then tell them that for your kids' sake, you and your DH have designated your house a negativity free zone and that if they want to be negative they will have to step outside and talk about it there.
Hang in there.

Swood75 replied:
Wow!! Are you sure we don't have the SAME mom??Seriously,tha sounds EXACTLY how my mom acts..And I finally had enough and just told her to mind her own business and not to ever talk to or e-mail me etc again..She thinks my kids (the older 2)like going to her house,but the only reason they like going there is b/c there are kids next door to play with and she buys them something they want about everytime they go over there...I totally know how you feel!!

boyohboyohboy replied: I used to come out and tell her that what she said hurt my feelings...that didnt work.I think she took that type of talk as a sign that I was weak..
So then I tried sarcasism... that fuels the fire.

They dont stay with us, they stay in a hotel and then spend each say with us..
I try to stay busy..
with the dog added to the mix this year, it should be fun!

msoulz replied: You KNOW you are a good mom, wife, and homemaker!! So you just remember that when the picking starts. It's a shame they have nothing better to do than criticize but that is THEIR problem, not yours, and do your best to not take it upon yourself!!

There are many members of my family with whom I would not associate if they were not related. They are just people with flaws, like everyone else, and their opinions mean nothing more than, oh, a stranger on a web board!

So be comfortable with who you are and don't let anyone, related or not, chip away at your confidence.

Calimama replied: Aw man that's rough! I'd just kill them with kindness. Or tell them that positivity goes a lot farther than negativity so if they can't be positive they should just not speak.

HuskerMom replied:

mckayleesmom replied: Give them a taste of their own medicine... You can even turn them against each other..


When they show up say "hi mom, boy gramma was right, you did pack on a few pounds this year"...

CantWait replied:
I love this....

My mom has done this in the past as well, more so about the weight Not that she's one to talk. Our visits are always full of nit picking, hence why I'm not looking forward to going home this year (only reason I am is for the boys and for my grandma).

I don't think we ever stop caring. I hope their visit goes as smoothly as possible, and at the very least, quickly.

boyohboyohboy replied:
Breanne now every time they say something mean to me, I am going to think this in my head and crack up!
They are going to be talking about me behind my back this year, because of mental illness signs!!!
thanks!

MommyToAshley replied:

mckayleesmom replied: