been on an emotional rollercoaster today!

mummy2girls wrote: Ive been happy and very sad all day today. I would weep at the littliest things! Next month will be Jordans 5th birthday. I can't believe he is going to be 5 years old. It seems like yesterday i lost him. I hate when these days approach! I get so emotional and weepy! June 27th is his brithday and July 14th will be the day i lost him 5 years ago. I hate this time of the year because i always seem to blame myself and i always recount every moment of my labour with him and the days after he wasborn up until we lost him! I look at the clock and think...hmmmm this time 5 years ago i was kissign him good-bye, or finding out he was dieing, my water broke at this time. etc etc etc. I hate when i do that because all my painful memories come rushing back!

I want to post a pic of my sweet jordan as doing this around his birthday always helps me get through.... This brithday year will also be on sunday. the day i had him( a sunday baby)

Kirstenmumof3 replied: I'm so sorry for your loss! He is a beautiful little boy!

jem0622 replied: Heaven has a very special angel.

Do you have a memorial garden or special corner for him in your home? If not then maybe that would help you build a dedication to him and have a place to reflect.

I am sorry that you lost your little boy. Take time for yourself.

HUGS

Guest_angelhair replied: I know how you feel. I am so sorry for your pain. You gave him life and love and when God took him he knew that. Jordon will be forever your son and you will always have him in your heart and you will see him again one day. he will be waiting for you.you are not at fault, in fact it sounds like you are a wonderful mother. I still relieve the day when I saw my baby on the ultrasound and still grieve when I lost her the next day thinking I wish so much she had made it. but she is in Gods arms right now and I know she knows how much her mommy still loves her. you are in my thoughts. if you need anything at all please post me, meanwhile here is a big hug!!!!!

amynicole21 replied: Keeping you and your beautiful angel baby in my thoughts

MommyToAshley replied: Oh sweetie, your post brought tears to my eyes. I know these days can be rough, and we're here for you to lean on. I know it is so easy to blame yourself (I have done the same thing), but I hope that you will realize that you are not to blame and let go of any guilt. Things really do happen for a reason, but we may never know that reason. But, please take some comfort in knowing that he's in God's hands now.

Thanks for posting the picture of Jordan, he's absolutely beautiful. I know you usually do something to remember him on his birthday, do you have anything planned this year?

ediep replied: oh sweetie, I can't really say that I know how you feel but a good friend of mine does. She lost her baby 2 years ago and is just now preg with another. She is terrified, but excited.
I know these days can be rough, but use us to lean on. I will listen and offer support as best as I can.

mummy2girls replied:
yes i have 2 special places in my home for him. One is on a table in my living room...i have the hand cast they did of him placed in a glass box that is framed. And a pic of me kissing him goodbye next to it. Then on my shelve unit i have i have a framed pic of him next to jennas with a candle in between. This candle i burn in his honor on special days.

mummy2girls replied:
yes... on his birthday i am going to take jenna to his grave and plant some flowers there. and sing happy birthday.

On his anniversary of when i lost him I am going to go to his grave and let some balloons go. Attached to one balloon will be a letter to him.

mummy2girls replied: thank you guys! I bawled with the posts you wrote! They were happy tears as i know that no matter what you guys will be a very supportive board! Thank you so much it has helped me alot!

coasterqueen replied: I'm so sorry for your loss.

kimberley replied: he is beautiful. lots of (((hugs))) and support during this difficult time. take comfort in knowing he is with Jesus.

A&A'smommy replied: ((((BIG HUGS)))) I'm right here with ya hun anytime if you want to talk or cry I have a cyber shoulder for you!

Mom2Boyz replied: He is Beautiful Shelly I am so sorry for your loss.
I can only imagine the pain you must feel, but if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm all ears. Big Big hugs comming your way