Your thoughts?

cameragirl21 wrote: This really is about a moot point but I'm just curious what parents' thoughts are. Please don't anyone mention this on Facebook because some of the people I mention here are on my FB. I mean, I don't see why anyone would mention this on FB but I'm just making assurance double sure.
Ok, so I went to a Christmas party this weekend, hosted by a friend of mine and while she prepared some food, we were all to bring a dish. I brought a cake and it was really fancy, my friend Monica, who works fulltime and is a mom of 2 toddlers baked it for me, it had to be something without chocolate because the hostess's DH is allergic to chocolate. So Monica went through scores of recipes to find something that would be suitable--I despise anything ordinary and everything I do has to be a big production so I couldn't have any regular cake and Monica loves to bake so she offered to bake it for me.
So this was not a kids' party but one of the guests brought her DD who appeared to be about 4-5 years old. She was a cute, sweet kid but she was bouncing off the walls and her mom wasn't watching her. There was nothing for the kid to do there so she was running around and getting into everything.
One couple showed up with some kind of gourmet pasta salad that the wife had made and they put it out on the food table in a metal dish. There were also cookies and rice crispy treats and things like that on the table. I was just talking to some people on the couch but out of the corner of my eye, I saw the little girl pull a chair up to the table and get up on it, she clearly wanted something from the table. Just by the way the pasta salad was sitting on the table, I knew she was about to knock it over so I thought that I should either get up and help her or say something to her mother who was busy eating and talking to other people and she had her back to the girl. Before I could even move, the girl knocked the pasta salad onto the floor before anyone even had a chance to try it.
The thing is, the mother didn't even seem concerned, she kept telling the girl what a sweet girl she was and the mother left the hostess to clean up the mess and seemed upset that the incident made her daughter sad. I spoke to her briefly (about a different topic) and somehow this incident came up and I said, "but you didn't get mad at her...." And she said, "oh no, it's not her fault, she just wanted a cookie and she asked me for one and I didn't get it for her so she went to get it herself.
Idk, I don't think she should have brought her in the first place, the party wasn't for kids but if any kid of mine did that, I'd be horrified. Idk if I could punish her right there but at a minimum, I'd make her apologize to the hostess and the lady who brought the food she spilled and tell her to stay away from the food table for the rest of the night. I'd also watch her had I brought her...all the rest of us were trying to keep her entertained. She kept going out on the balcony (we were in a highrise) and I told the mother she was out on the balcony and the mother couldn't seem to keep the girl from going out there. We were up really high and I was afraid she'd fall over the edge because she kept climbing on everything.
I was afraid she'd knock over what I brought so I told the hostess that I wanted to put it somewhere out of her reach...Monica worked like a beast to make it and had the girl knocked it over, I'd have been seething. Of course I wouldn't have done anything to her, I just wanted to avoid the disaster.
I am stunned by the way the mother handled this, as if the whole incident scarred her child or something...curious how anyone here would have handled something like this if it were your child?

moped replied: Yeah things happen, even an adult could have knocked it over. BUT if you are going to take a child to an adult party you have to watch them.........but she should have stayed home!

bluebear replied: Her mother should had been watching her. I hate when people bring their kids to parties, etc.. and let the kids run around like it's a fenced in backyard. My cousin is 11 years old and ever since she was 2 she would come over to anybody's house and run wild and my aunt wouldn't care since other people are there and expect that the adults will watch her, she still does it now and it's getting more annoying than ever. Actually, this weekend we were at the hospital for my grandmother and my cousin was running around in and out of the hospital room and all in the ICU touching everything. The parent is at fault.

luvbug00 replied: Yea I would've killed that kids,parents verbally had it been my salad. An ear full I tell u. If kids aren't invited and I don't have a sitter. I'm not going.

PrairieMom replied: the kid should have not been there and the parent should have been watching her. The hostess also should have said something to the mom. That being said, accidents happen, anyone could have accidentally knocked the salad over.

coasterqueen replied:
I agree. My husband is 9 times out of 10 likely to be the person who would knock over the salad.

~Roo'sMama~ replied: I don't think she should necessarily have punished her little girl, because it was an accident and it could have happened to anyone. But the mom should have apologized, and she should have been watching her kid.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Yes, I agree too. Accidents do happen. Such is life. Even if it was an accident though I would have apoligized and had my child apoligize too. It's common sense to me to apoligize when something like that happens, accident or not.

As far as the kid not being there...to me, it depends on who is having a party and what it's for. All of our friends know that if I invite them, they know their whole family is invited. We keep a family friendly atmosphere because we know how hard it is for people to find a sitter...just like us. Now, if a friend of our was having...say a New Years party, I don't bring my children because I want to relax and have a good time without watching them, and I don't want a curfew for myself. I pretty much know what parties my kids can be at and what parties not to bring my kids to. However, WE make that call (unless stated that it's for adults only)...all of our friends are pretty much the same way...family friendly and use your own disrection.

IN ANY CASE THOUGH...the mother should have been watching the child. No matter what kind of party, parents need to be responsible and not allow them to run a muck.

msoulz replied: I do not think she should be punished for it because, as was pointed out, it was an accident. If it were one of my kids we would apologize and clean up - and I mean the child has to help. It's not about the child being able to clean it all up by herself, that clearly isn't possible at 5, but it's important that they participate. That's how we teach responsibility for one's actions.

Whether the child should have been there - a totally different thread!!

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Most of my friends have children now as well... and it's generally a family event.. but people I have a friendship with tend to have more class than to show up at a party for grown-ups with a child in tow.

Mind you, it's different if it's a BABY... but a walking child... no way.

Id' have said something to the mother along the lines of... "that's what happens when you bring a child to an adult's party."

ETA: Jennifer specifically said this wasn't a kids party... I'd have understood that to mean NO KIDS!!! no sitter?? don't come!

lisar replied: Personally, I think its the parents fault. They should have been watching her. However it was an adult party and if I didnt have a sitter I would have said thank you for the invite but we cant be there, and I would have not gone.

julesmom replied:
I agree!

my2monkeyboys replied: I agree with everyone else. I wouldn't have punished her, but she would have apologized (I, as well) and then helped clean it up.
She probably shouldn't have been there in the first place, but if she *had* to, then the mother should have been on her toes keeping up with her.

A&A'smommy replied: well obviously the child should have not been at an adult party... and probably someone should have asked the mother to take her home. Had it been ok for her to be there no I would have not punished her, I would have explained to her why she should opologize to the host and had her help me clean it up. I would have been embarrassed but accidents to happen and I would have been embarrassed if I had made the mess (and I'm accident prone so that happens to me a lot )

cameragirl21 replied: Thanks everyone, for your opinions.
I understand that accidents happen and I myself am a mega klutz but my issue is that kids are naturally prone to spilling things because when they want something, they have no concept of respecting everything else around them and I felt the mom should have been aware of this. If a grownup had accidentally spilled the salad, I'm sure s/he would have bee mortified too but when you bring a kid along, you should expect these things and if it were my kid, I would have punished her because she shouldn't be getting into things at someone else's home. If she wants something, it's up to me to get it for her and I realize that mom was getting her own food and ignoring the girl so I can't say I blame the girl but i guess I just hate it when people have no regard for others like that. She brought the kid, she should have made sure that the kid didn't ruin other people's evening and what especially made me angry was the mom's reaction--she didn't even seem apologetic that someone's meal was knocked over before anyone could eat it. Btw, if this mom brought any food, I didn't notice it. I just hate it when people are inconsiderate like that.
Btw, often when I work with brides, they say they don't want kids at the wedding and have even asked me if there is a way to say that kids are not invited without sounding mean...I have ALWAYS wondered why in the heck someone would purposely not want kids at their wedding but after seeing this kid and her mother, I totally get it now.
I told a friend of mine (who did not attend the party) about this and she said I should expect an (insert expletive here that starts with an "a" and ends with "hole") person to have an (insert same expletive here) child.

my2monkeyboys replied: LMAO Funny, but true!