Who just watched Oprah - with the Nanny 911?

mysweetpeasWil&Wes wrote: I enjoyed seeing the kids all change by the end of the show, but I wonder, do you think it's only because the nanny was actually present in the home and spoke directly to the kids herself? I was always more intimidated by another adult speaking to me than my parents. So I wonder if it would be as effective if the parents had learned the nanny rules outside of the house and then came back to use them all on their own, no nanny around to intervene. I guess it doesn't really matter, if it works, it works! But I wonder if parents who watched the show like myself tried the techniques alone, without nanny present, would they really work? Luckily I don't have a child that acts out that way, but it got me thinking!

Anyhow, on the show, the Nanny uses the "naughty chair" technique. I wonder, how old your child needs to be before this can actually be effective? It seemed to work for all the kids on the show, but again, was it only because the nanny was present to help enforce it? I thought it was a good idea, but I feel Wil would be too young at this point.

Do any of you use a naughty chair? And at what age did you start? All of the parents on the show said they used "time out" and that it didn't work for them and I hear some of you say the same thing...so how is the naughty chair any different??

CAMSMOM1 replied: I'm in Cali, so it'll be on in 10 min. I'm watching Dr. Phill right now, this is a tough one to watch about kids being addicted, well that's another topic in itself!

I love watching the Super Nanny! I wish she would come to my house! My son is hitting the terrible 2's and driving me crazy! I'm not sure if I could get him to sit in a chair, maybe I'm a pushover! I'm sure having her there, it works. My son always listen's better to other people than he does myself. But I think her technique works if they are older.
Have you seen Dr Phil and how he handles timeouts? He says that you should put them in a place where there isn't any of their toys, or stimulants. And I when you start doing this, you have to be consistant. (which I'm not)
When my son was in daycare, the daycare provider would put my son in timeouts, which I was fine with. And guess what? It worked!!! And I'd get him home and do it, and it didn't work for me. My son was smart! I would tell him he had to "sit down" and be in timeout. You know what he did? He would sit down and scute on his bottom around the floor! He knew he was still sitting down! Funny guy!
I'm sure these techniques work, but I do think that children behave differetly with their parents than they do with others.
If you have any luck with timouts, let me know! I need something that works!
Ann

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: Interesting! Dr. Phil is on AFTER Oprah here in Colorado. So I'm missing it right now. I watch it sometimes, but try and always watch Oprah. Pathetic, I know!

I haven't tried time out with my son yet because for the most part he behaves. Well sorta! He's just beginning to walk, so I'm letting him explore and I try and not discipline him too much yet. I figure any "bad" behavior is merely just learning at this point. I tell him no if it's something terribly bad like touching a hot stove, but for the most part, he's just exploring, not really acting out for attention IMO. He's getting there though and so this is why I was really interested in this show and the Nanny's "naughty chair" technique.

I'm curious to know if it's worked for anyone!

MyBlueEyedBabies replied: First things First...You need a Tivo

other than that We have tried a naughty chair with Katy but my angelic little girl won't stay unless shes strapped down so her timeouts are in her room with the door closed. Matt will sit on the stairs when he's in trouble so the chair might work for him. Will is a lot more like Matt than Katy so he would probably do well with *the chair*

jacobsmama replied: I started using the "naughty chair" with Jacob when he was about 14-15 months old. Because when we would smack his hand or say no he would say it back to us and so we had to do something else. And now I put him in the chair and he stays and he always has since he was about 14 months.

What I do is set the timer on the stove and when it beeps he can get up and he sits for 1 minute but if he yells or gets up we start over or do longer. He says "sorry mama" when I set him there but he knows I mean business.

I think it is a great way to deal with kids...and their behavior

PrairieMom replied: I used the sleep technique on The Boy. It does work. It sure makes for a awful couple of nights tho!

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied:
You sit in his room but don't look at him, right? Wil is a pretty good sleeper, but I wondered if this worked. That's great!

And Jacobsmama...glad to hear the chair technique works for you guys! The timer is a great idea and starting over if he fusses is a good one too! They say to give them a minute for every year old they are, but I imagine they whine and fuss for a good minute or two, so what's the use in that? How long do you set your timer? Do you mind me asking when you started this with Jacob - meaning when did he really understand you mean business?

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied:
Oh god NO...I rarely watch tv as it is! If I missed something, I figured I missed something. They always show reruns.

Yeah Matt and Wil have pretty much the same temperament, so I figure what works on Matt will most likely work on Wil too. Here's to praying our next are the same as our boys!

PrairieMom replied:
Ben is usually a good sleeper too, but he goes through phases, like when he has been spoiled durring family vacations. It also helped with the middle of the night visits. Now he goes down no problem!

DansMom replied: I did need to become more assertive as a parent---things were going in a direction I didn't like, where Daniel wouldn't heed me or take me seriously and I was losing battles that should not have been battles in the first place; so I read a book about assertive discipline, and I guess it's kind of a test for how things would work without an outside adult doing the disciplinary measures. The techniques I learned worked within a week of using them consistently. Daniel's easy, to be sure---I don't have a high-needs kid so that helps. The book was right about the following:

These don't work:

pleading with your children/begging (please stop!),
asking questions (why are you doing this?),
yelling, threatening (they just get frightened, but don't learn self-control)

These do work:

broken record repeating of an instruction until it's heard and acknowledged, getting down to eye level, and speaking in a low clear voice so he can't ignore me. Those three things have done wonders.

What's funny is watching him enforce rules for others now---heaven forbid I should do a California stop while driving. I never hear the end of it!

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied:
That is so cute...little boy is watching huh?

Hillbilly Housewife replied: We do time out here.

We have a little yellw table with blue plastic chairs for the kids... it's at the point now that when they do something wrong, I just have to point at the corner by the door and they bring the chair over on their own to sit in, facing the corner. They whine and cry.... but they know the timer doesn't start until they're quiet....and they know it's too bad so sad... they're going to go in the corner.

Zach is really good about it now... sometimes he starts doing something wrong - he'll stop and say - i have to stop cuz I'm going in the corner, right mommy?

it's kinda funny.

The key is be consistent. If you don't do it everytime, they'lll start "testing" to see what they can and can't get away with...and when, and where.

What is important also is getting dsown to their eye level... don't assume the child has heard your "command" even if thwey're right next to you. They're too easily distracted... and easily tuned-out.