We shouldn't have ever started this

proudparent12 wrote: My wife and I are proud parents of a 2 year old daughter and expecting a daughter arriving in late february. For the last 6 months for some unknown reason (we still can't remember what started this habit) we have allowed our 2 year old to sleep in the same bed as us. Now, we can't get her to go to bed in her own room, and if she does she crys bloody murder.

We don't want her to dread going to bed for the next 10 years of her life, so what is the best angle to approach this problem?

redchief replied:
She won't. Stick to your guns and make it clear she has to be in her bed; she'll be okay.

Welcome to the board and good luck with your toddler and your new addition!

booey2 replied: Welcome to the board. We had a similar problem with our oldest who was 3 and half by the time #2 came along. He was more than happy to give up his spot in our bed because in his mind that is where the new baby was going to sleep. It also helped that one night DH lost his temper and said that he had to sleep in his own bed from now and he did.

amynicole21 replied: Well, I have both kids in our bed now, so I'm not going to try to give any advice to you

jcc64 replied: Our 3 yr old dd still sleeps with us. We have been talking up the idea about big girls sleeping on their own, and I believe she knows it's in the near future, but I haven't forced the issue yet. I'm sure it's gonna take a few nights of horrific screaming, and frankly I'm not up for that yet. When I was a child, I was terrified to be alone at night, but wasn't allowed in my parents bed. I spent many nights lying awake, petrified, and I just don't want to do that to my kids. Nighttime should be a peaceful, happy restful time, and however that needs to happen is fine by me.

fashionmumofboys replied: I think it might be a little tough since she is already 2 and at the age I know its a little hard to get them out of their habbits.

I would be firm and make her understand that she it's time to move onto her new big girl bed.

Does she have a crib or will she be going into a toddler bed?

Make her room as comfortable and appealing to her. Maybe put up some borders with her favorite character or object.

Make up a reward system that she will get example a sticker, or her favourite thing, if she sleeps in her big girl bed.

Try to make her transition as smooth as possible before the arrival of your daughter.

Welcome to PC and congratulations.

Good luck!!

proudparent12 replied: She has her toddler bed that she used to sleep in before this. We pulled her out of her crib at about 15 months as she seemed to be wanting the care bear bed in storage more than her crib! Her room is decked out with all her favorite things so there is no reason she shouldn't want to be in there other than her own fears she might be creating in her mind that kids seem to always do.

Right now we are in a 2 bedroom house, and we are putting the crib for the new arrival in our daughters room with her, so do you think this will possibly help her in wanting to be in that bedroom with her new sister or cause more problems? This is also another reason we took the crib away from her a little early so she didn't feel like the baby was taking all her stuff away and we could bring it back out months later and she'd never know the difference.

She did actually sleep in her new toddler bed for about 2-3 months before this started. My wife wants to think we started doing this when she was really sick for about a week and we kept her in bed with us to watch over her as she slept and it became habit this way, but still not sure if that's what really started this.

It wouldn't be so bad if she didn't kick me all night long and smack me in the face whenever she rolled over

coasterqueen replied:
same here.

moped replied:
I agree with this

Also, is she missing her crib? Maybe ? I don't really know, but Jack is still in a crib and will be well after the age of 2. A crib gives them boundaries and in a toddler bed those securities are gone.

Just thinking out loud

DansMom replied: Is your bedroom big enough to have a toddler bed in the same room with you for a while, near your bed? Some people start the transition there.

Does she still take naps, and if so does she nap in her own bed? With Daniel, when we transitioned to starting out the night in his own bed, we called it a nap. I stayed with him until he fell asleep and sang songs to him. Then when he awoke I would either go to him and stay until he fell back to sleep, or I would bring him in with us, depending on how tired I was. He is now happy to sleep either in his own bed or ours, the key being that someone stays with him until he's gone back to sleep.

Best wishes---let us know if you find something that worked for you!

My3LilMonkeys replied: We have never had this problem so I can't be of much help - other than to agree with redchief - she'll be okay.

As for the idea sharing with her sister, we just moved our 2 girls in together (ages 2 and 8 months) and Brooke (my 2 year old) loves it. She is so proud of her sister and shows everyone who comes over that Madison sleeps in her room.

Hope everything works out for you!

CantWait replied: Yup I have this problem to however I'm not very consistent. I'm more then happy most night to have my 2 year old sleep with me, it's just the occassional night where I don't want to be kicked in the ribs, or have nasty dragon breath blown into my face in the middle of the night that I put him in his room.

Here's a funny....last night was one of those nights I wanted mommy in the bed alone time, so I put him on his pooh bear couch, (his bed is on order), when I went up to bed a couple hours later, guess who was there...so I moved him to his bed, woke up this morning, and guess who was beside me again

Just keep being consistent. Leave a nightlight, or a dim lamp on. Maybe some soft music, and make sure you have a bedtime routine. We do bath, pjs, do a puzzle, read a book, then night night. Sometimes I sit with him for a bit.

Like I said though, he still sleeps with me most of the time, so I'm not the best to ask.