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WWYD? inlaws question....

mummy2girls wrote: My sister in law can be a little over bearing, criticizing us constantly and just sometimes hard to deal with... can throw adult tantrums when she doesn't get her own way.

She uses my dayhome for about 1 to 2 hours every monday, wednesday and friday. She starts work before her hubby gets off work so she drops them off with me until he can grab them. He is a mechanic so depending on the work he can be 2 hours. anyways... i told her that this will be a dayhome relationship when she walks int he door with her kids to use my dayhome. I am very leary to take on kids of family because it can turn personal and they can take my services for granted. So I had a 4 day weekend because of easter. Friday was good friday so thats a stat for us and Easter Monday is a stat for us as well( not all have it as a stat but daycares, day homes and schools do) So she knew this... She calls and Marcus answers. She goes Ill drop some stuff you forgot here later. he goes... what do you mean later? she says well I work today. He says well Shelly si closed today. She goes OH i thought I was DIFFERENT! This is a big reason why i am hesitant to take family as clients. Was I wrong to not take the kids?

also we are going to be sitting down with her as well in the next little while. She is only paying us 100 a month for part time for 2 kids. With any other client that walk into my dayhome i charge for 2 kids 14 an hour. so what she pays us is for one week or week in a half of care depending how many hours she uses. So she may not like that. I feel she is getting free childcare. UGH!

WWYD? Say? approach it? remember she is really ahrd to deal with... most of the time..LOL

moped replied: I hate approaching situations like that, involving family. I am not sure what the right way to handle it is, but I think you may just need to say that you have to raise her rate to the regulat 14/hour for the kids at however many hours per week. I guess she either goes for it or she doesn't right?


lisar replied: It is hard to deal with that kind of situation. But if it were me, I would not let her take advantage of me like that. She already thought she was special. Before you know it, she isnt gona wanna pay you. I would tell her you are getting some full time kids and they pay more and that she has to find another day home. sorry but thats just me.

mummy2girls replied:
oh i completely agree... Marcus is tired of her kids coming in, distroying the place and causing chaos. we only feel we should be getting what is owed to me with the dayhome rates. any other child i would charge that!

CantWait replied: YOU'RE RIGHT. Your holiday is YOUR holiday and the fact that she's family is NO different. She's looking for a free ride and to take advantage. mad.gif

ETA: I'm leary of changing the rates now as by the sounds of it, you've already discussed this part with her and have an agreement.

luvbug00 replied: is this the sister who has caused you numerous headaches??
I'd say just nix the business relationship. in other words, drop her. Money can be a nasty fight within a family and can just deepin things that are bad enough as is.
But if you feel like you have to keep her or try to keep her on then I'd just say you need the money of a regular client for your income and either she can pay it or you need the space for new clients.

mummy2girls replied:
yes we did agree BUT dayhome providers always up thier rates and most parents are ok with it as long as they like the care they recieve for thier kids. Ive done it once in the past

mummy2girls replied:
yes she is!

mckayleesmom replied: I think from now on give a note to ALL the parents reminding them that you are closed on these days and make sure she understands it means her as well.

MommyToAshley replied:
thumb.gif Good idea!

It's always tricky when it comes to family. I have never charged family or friends to watch their kids, so I am not sure what advice to give you there. But, I have to go along with Marie, it does sound like you had an agreement and raising the rates might cause some problems. Do you have the parents sign any kind of contract? How long are your rates guaranteed for? I would be upset if I put my child in daycare and they just raised the rates whenever they felt like it, but if it's stated in a contract that the rates were good for one year then subject to change, I would understand.

Nina J replied: I wouldn't stress to much about it. You are family, but you run a dayhome. Her children are placed under your care in the same way other peoples children are - it is business, pure and simple. She shouldn't recieve any special treatment just because she is a family member.

I would've been angry that she expected you to look after her children on your days off.

I would probably just gently remind her that your relationship with each other is not a factor in your business transactions - she employs you to care for her children while she is at work and she will follow the same rules and guidelines as the other parents. If she doesn't like it, she can find another dayhome provider.

I would probably add that you know things can get a bit difficult mixing family and business, so you want to maintain a clear line. Anything relating to your dayhome services is strictly business, nothing personal involved.

bluebear replied: You have every right to not take her kids on your day off- what if you had made plans for the day? Extended family isn't an exception, off is off.

mummy2girls replied:
yes thats what dayhomes do... the contract we do with agencies is you can not change rates until the child is in care for a year. so if i had 6 kids and 4 was with me for 2 years and 2 just started 6 months ago.. i can not raise the rates for the ones with me for 6 months but i can for the 2 year ones. I have had my dayhome for 4 years and i have only raised my rates once. private homes im nto sure what they do. But its states in the contract that rates can change after 12 months in care.

and i dont charge if i baby sit for a evening here and there for family, or be there in emergencies. BUT that being said she came ot me to use my dayhome. and that turns into a diff situation. She became a client of mine so she needs to follow the holidays and days off i have for all parents.

coasterqueen replied:
This is my feelings too.

My dayhome provider has not increased her rates in the 8 years we've had her. (8 because we started paying her before Kylie was born to keep a spot). She has raised her summer "fun" fee a tiny bit but that's it.

coasterqueen replied: I agree with Brianne too that you should give her a note and she is just going to have to understand that means for her too. Maybe not be home that 1st day of holiday so when she comes you aren't there and she'll get the message? happy.gif

jcc64 replied: Family or not, you need to establish professional boundaries. You are entitled to enjoy your day off, and the fact that your s-i-l doesn't recognize that is an indication that she plans to take advantage of your relationship. It's up to you to set the boundaries with her, and then enforce them. She sounds like a difficult person, and I wouldn't allow her to steam roll over you, Shelley. Stand your ground.

Celestrina replied:

If they haven't been there a year, sit down with her and explain that once the year is up, you will start charging her the same amount as your other clients. If she has been there for a year or more, tell her that her rate will be the same as the others in x number of months. If she agrees with it, make sure to get it in writing.

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