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Update


TeagansMom609 wrote: Well heres an update on my down the drain marraige. Well things were ok for a little while, but then in desperation of money he started back at the job I asked him to quit months ago because he was drinking alot there. So he said to me, I know your not going to like me going back there but I promise not to drink or do anything to jeopardize are relationship. (Yea uh huh) Well he's been drinking again, and the other night we got into an argument and he went out until 4 am. He didnt tell me where but he took our cordless phone with him and now he cant find it. Hmmmmm???? Fishy? He said he was a few doors down at some guys apartment. He said he checked there but it wasnt there. dry.gif So anyway yesterday I came home from work and he said ok im leaving, im going Xmas shopping with my brother. That was at 6 lastnight, its now almost 8 am. OH and the other night during our argument about him renting a bunch of adult videos on the tv that cost $7.99 each, which the total came to $40, and all in total for our bill $254.00 he called me the "C" word. You know what word I mean. That word every woman hates. Yup he call me a dirty "C". I said oh, how am I a dirty "C"? Because I go to work everyday and come home and spend time with Teagan and then im in bed by 9? GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!! Well Ive got the money to move out, and I cant wait, but the only problem is I have to find some kind of daycare for Teagan. I cant go anywhere until then. Im going to call the State today and see what kind of program they have. I probably wont be able to go to work today since he isnt here to watch her. Nice guy huh? He knows if he isnt here I cant go to work. Ahhhh, what a merry Christmas....

Boys r us replied: Oh honey! I just want to give you the world's biggtest hug right now!!
You and Teagan deserve so much better! you sound like a really strong woman and I hope that you are, b/c so often men like this belittle us and make us feel like we are the problem..you start off knowing you aren't, but end up hearing it so much that you start to believe it! Please know that you and your precious lil girl are in my thoughts and prayers hun! I hope that with family and friends the two of you will find a way to have a Merry Christmas!

Sunflower04 replied: Wow - what a winner he is becoming. There are programs in NJ for low income families for child care. I know a girl I work with put her son in one and she paid like $30 a week. If you want I can ask her who she called and find out more information for you . I don't know where you work but the daycare my son goes to is cheaper than most. It is located in Old Bridge. Let me know if I can help. sad.gif

GavinsMommy replied: Wow, he IS a jerk. Sounds like you know the best thing to do...leave. He sure doesn't show improvement for too long before he's back to his old ways again, huh? dry.gif

DansMom replied: Do have family nearby that can help with babysitting? I'm so sorry you're in this situation. grouphug.gif

My2Beauties replied: First of all let me tell you that I am really sorry you are having to put up with that dumba$$! He deserves to be smacked in the face for saying what he said to you, that was totally uncalled for, that word is awful. Secondly, leave his sorry a$$ and never look back, take him to court and make sure that his visitations with Teagan are supervised, his drunk a$$ doesn't need to be near her alone!!!!!!!!! mad.gif mad.gif I sware if I knew your husband I would whoop his a$$ right about now. Sounds like you know what is best for you hun, get out now!! Don't waste any time, do you have any family members or anything that can watch her for you at least for a week or so until you find a reputable daycare center? I know this will be hard but you are doing the right thing by getting out, next thing you know he'll be putting his hands on you, any man that can call his wife something that terrible is capable of hitting her in my opinion! Be strong hun and keep us posted!

aspenblue1 replied: I am so sorry. It sounds like he is not ready to change. Sending lots of hugs! grouphug.gif grouphug.gif

TANNER'S MOM replied: I am so sorry. Man, it seems like he is just not willing to work on his drinking problem. I grew up with a father who was a single parent and that was how he dealt with life was drinking, and if he promised and cried and told me he would never drink a thousand times it wouldn't surprise me. But, the only thing that really helped him was GOD, church was the only thing that helped him stop drinking.

I hope you and Teagen are OK. Call me if you need anything. I know you can do this and be strong. You are beautiful and smart, don't start feeling down on your self b/c we all make bad decisions. But we all survive, and become stonger.

I am here for you..
Mel

MomofJandB replied: After the posts I've read from you, I truly believe you are making the right decision. You've given him chance after chance and he's gone back to his old ways each time. You do not deserve to be treated like this and neither does Teagan! I really hope you find the info you need on child care. You can do it! Stay strong and keep us updated! I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

amynicole21 replied: What the heck has gotten into him?? mad.gif He has certainly turned out to be a HUGE JERK! I'm so sorry you and Teagan are wrapped up in this sad.gif

Kaitlin'smom replied: Well I would not even leave her with him, do you have family who can watch her while you work for a few days or a week until you find a daycare for her? Sheeh he needs a good kick in the head...I cnat believe him, but its best you end it now before things get worse. I so wish I could help you. Please let me know if there is anything I can do.

TeagansMom609 replied: Well after fighting all morning we finally got ourselves some lawyers. Luckily I work for a law firm! LOL He even made a few confessions this morning. He told me he went to Atlantic City all the time when I was pregnant and lied to me. (Those nights he didnt come home either.) He keeps telling me im crazy and I fool other people into thinking im normal by acting normal around everybody. LOL I said I AM normal! I dont act normal around you because you put me through so much crap you make me nuts! He really doesnt understand that he is wrong. He thinks not coming home, lying, etc. is ok to do. Married or not.

Oh, and no I dont have any family that can watch her unfortunatly. My mom takes her every Thursday so that helps but the other days im going to have to find someone to watch her. Why is Gods name is child care so expensive!!!??? sad.gif
I dont know how anyone can afford $900 a month!

So anyway my boss is now also my attorney which is kind of weird but oh well, its free! He has to pay his lawyer $500, which is actually a good price because the guy is a family friend. Its usually like $1,200! Luckily my boss said that child care, and custody will all be added into the divorce papers. So that will be good. But I doubt Shawn will want to pay as much as its going to take to pay for child care, etc. So we will probably end up in court about it. And now that he's back being a waiter again it will be hard to prove how much he makes since its all cash.

I cant wait to get it over with and move on!

How embarrassing is it to say "yea I was married once, for 2 months".

Josie83 replied: I'm so sorry that this is happening to you, but like Patty says you are best off out of it in my opinion. He oesn't deserve you as a wife or teagen as a daughter. I'm so angry for the hurt he has caused you. I really hope that everything sorts itself out - I'm sure it will. ry and enjoy Christmas nevertheless. And who cares what people say about how long you were married or whatever? Its noone's business but yours, and you can hold your head up and say that you tried and tried but it was him who ruined it. Thinking of you xx

TANNER'S MOM replied: It is better than saying yes I was a married for years to someone who treated me badly..

You can do this. Please don't let it get to you. Who cares what people think. As long as you do this for you and your daughter that is all that matters.

We love you..

Maddie&EthansMom replied:
I couldn't have said it better myself!!

You are so strong. You amaze me. Walk away from him FAST and never look back. He is such a jerk. mad.gif

kimberley replied: oh hon, i am so sorry things turned out this way. there is a happy ending in your future that you will be stronger and happier and the best mom in the world that Teagan needs and adores. i wish you lived near me because i would watch Teagan day and night for you! i have BTDT trying to find childcare after a separation... it is not easy, but as a single parent (here in canada) you get a subsidy on childcare. i was only paying about $5/day for 2 kids. another thing to look into is home care. it is way cheaper than a centre. if you can find someone you trust they are only about $5/hr here. ask around to other mom's or people you know in your community (ie pharmacist, check out girls, etc). sending you lots of ~~~stay strong~~~ vibes. you deserve much more than that little boy can give you. you go out there and take what you deserve! we are always here for you! grouphug.gif

TeagansMom609 replied: Thanks for your support everyone! wub.gif

A&A'smommy replied: edited because I JUST saw your second post blush.gif Anyway I want to say I'm SOOO glad your getting out of that horrible situation!!! I would watch her for you if I could for a WHOLE heck of a lot cheaper, Kimberly had great advice look for a home daycare, someone you can trust. ((((BIG HUGS)))) not being married to him is going to be SO much better for you!!!

maestra replied: I'm glad to see you're kicking this bum to the curb. I wish I could help! grouphug.gif

Mommy2Be replied: Awe sweety I am so sorry ((((BIG HUGS)))) I wish I could do something to help please let me know if there is anything at all I can do. I wish we lived in the same area I would be more than happy to watch Teegan for you for free I'm home with Gracie all day anyway. But please let me know if you need anything and feel free to email or PM me anytime. Take care grouphug.gifgrouphug.gifgrouphug.gif

TeagansMom609 replied: Well he didnt come home again lastnight. Thats 3 nights in a row. Why doesnt he just move out!? He's never here anyway. Luckily my moms watching Teagan today otherwise I wouldnt be able to go to work again today

Boys r us replied: Keep a journal of everything from the not coming home to the horrible names he's called you also if you ask him for money to help with Teagan and whether he gave it to you or not..also a record of his phone calls, with dates and times along with any visits he requests with Teagan!
All of this will help you out if/when you end up in court!

I'm so sorry you're going through this, but your inner strength amazes me!
I know we're states apart, but if you EVER need to talk or need anything, I will help you any way I can honey!!

kit_kats_mom replied:
ITA and keep it all on a calendar. Those are admissable in court. Even if it's just jotted down on a checkbook calendar or something.

Sorry this is happening and he's being such a jerk.

Kirstenmumof3 replied: grouphug.gif You are doing the right thing! It took my sister years to realize what an a$$ her husband was. She went through hell with him. I'm so glad your boss is willing to be your lawyer for free, that must be a huge relief for you. Kick his sorry A$$ out of your home. We are all here for you! grouphug.gif

TeagansMom609 replied: Well lastnight was his 4th night not coming home. mad.gif What a jerk! Oh im definitly going to keep everything thats happening in a log. Especially on Halloween when he went to go visit with his other kids at his parents house and ended up sneaking into his parents liqour cabinet and getting drunk. Well when he came home he was wasted and he picked up Teagan and dropped her. He was so drunk she slipped right out of his arms. Nice huh? So anyway tonight Teagan and I are going to stay at my moms because who knows if he will even come home tonight and be here for her first Xmas morning and if he does I dont think he even deserves to be here with us. So were going to have Christmas morning at my moms house. Oh and if his parents call me to see if Teagans coming over im going to say NOPE because he told me the other night how much his parents hate me. Plus last time we faught they told me they werent going to watch her anymore for me, but when we made up they started to again. So screw them, their as bad as he is in my mind. I dont have time for games, especially with people who hate me.

A&A'smommy replied: Oh hun I'm so sorry!!! I can't believe how STUPID they are being its not fair and you and Teagan do NOT deserve this!!!! I think that your are doing a good thing go to your moms and enjoy your first christmas with her! (((((BIG HUGS)))))

chloe&tysmommy replied: What a JERK!!! (personally I want to say something else....)

UGH! You and Teagan deserve soooooooo much better! grouphug.gif I've been reading your posts and you are doing the right thing by leaving him! You should be treated with respect... grouphug.gif

You are definetly a strong woman for doing what's best for you and your daughter. I just want to say we are ALL here for you!!!!!! grouphug.gif

Merry Christmas

mammag replied: I'm sorry you're going through this at this time of year. I just wanted to add that I am glad you are getting out of this now. It's best that it is done while she is still young because I'm pretty sure you would have eventually anyway based on his history. Remember a lot of times girls will look at their dad for an example of the kind of man they will marry. At least she won't see him treating you this way when she is older so she won't think "it's okay" to be treated that way by men herself.

I'm glad you are going to your mom's for Christmas. You guys deserve a peaceful holiday and it wouldn't be if you were home waiting and wondering if he would come home or not.

I hope you have a very merry Christmas!!! And quite frankly, I hope he doesn't!

mummy2girls replied: Wow!!!! i am so sorry for all this that is happening to you and your dd.

Its hard being a single mom but from what ive been hearing from your posts youll be much happier!!!!!!!


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