The Dear______ Thread - Add Yours!
Crystalina wrote: Dear Baby,
Please take a nap. I do not know why you insist on fighting sleep when it's very obvious that you are tired. You will miss nothing. I promise. Mommy will stop everything once your angel eyes close and will not resume life again until you wake. I will be right here when you open your eyes, just staring at you so that I can continue my day.
Love,
Mommy.
cameragirl21 replied: Dear Taste Buds,
Stop craving pizza, seriously, just stop! We are up to climbing 60 flights of stairs a day as we embark on our "look better naked" campaign and it's a lot of work, we are tired and sore and much of it is being undone due to your cravings.
With much frustration,
The Legs
moped replied: Dear Boss,
Please tell me that the company would like to pay for my $30/day parking that i had to pay today.
Thank you
A very valued employee
mckayleesmom replied: Dear Crazy Drunk Lady,
You have called my house repeadedly for the last 2 months and I have repeadedly told you to put down your phone and stop using it while drinking, yet you continue. After I inform you that you have ONCE AGAIN dialed the wrong number, do not continue to just call and hang up 6 or 7 times, I know its you, I have caller ID. For the guy I called last week at that number...find your mommy and take her phone away. You cannot tell me that you don't know who could have called that number...look for the drunk lady in your house. BINGO. If it continues, I'm going to turn it in to the police.
Have a pleasant day.
Danalana replied: Dear Womb Mate...
Just wanted to let you know that I LOVE feeling you move and am particularly enjoying the big movements that I missed after Kade was born. Your brother and Daddy and I are anxiously awaiting your entrance into the world and are working feverishly to move into our new house. You stay in there and bake for another 12 weeks or so, and we'll see you soon!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo,
Mommy
P.S. One request.....could you please lay off the bladder during the wee hours of the morning? Thank you 
PrairieMom replied: Oh I SO needed this.
dear Cheap Lady in front of me checking out at the grocery store,
I tried to be really tolerant and understanding of you 3 weeks ago when I ended up behind you for TEN minutes while you argued with the checker and the manager of the price of the 5 gallons of chocolate milk you were buying. I tried to be patient while we all waited for you to get your extra 15 cents per gallon. BUT, ending up behind you AGAIN this morning, for another TWELVE minutes while you got your extra 7 cents per can of tuna because the price on the shelf didn't match the price in the add... well, I can see that this is clearly habitual behavior for you, and I am officially annoyed. I am annoyed for myself, the 4 other people in line behind me, the checker who took care of this with a smile the entire time, even while receiving a lecture by you on how things could be changed so YOU don't have to wait, and the manager, AGAIN, who clearly knew you and your annoying hobby. I hope that you do something really meaningful with that $2.00 you saved.
XOOXOX, Tara
moped replied: I have one more:
Dear Husband,
It is clear that I love you dearly, but I am feeling very unappreciated these days and hope that you will take into consideration your wifes feelings in the future. Also, the children learn through example, please don't be mouthy to me in front of the children FOR THE LOVE OF POTATOES!!!!!!!!! To quote Dana!
lovemy2 replied: Dear Whackadoodle young chick sitting next to me at work:
It is 90 degrees out here today - there is no reason to have a HEAVY sweater on today and shovering just because the windows are open in the office and a very plesant breeze is flowing through.
Sincerely,
A grownup
Crystalina replied: Dear Sun,
I like you and everything and I know you are just doing your job but I kind of think it's a bit too early for the warmth you are sending down. Now don't get me wrong, I love your rays and most of the time I look forward to seeing them but it's still only Spring. How about taking it down just a notch or so so that I can actually enjoy being outside? It it were June, July or August I couldn't complain but it's only April and your getting crazy already.
Deepest Regards,
Someone who doesn't want to jump from winter to summer
My2Beauties replied: I posted in here earlier and it isn't here now 
Dear Employer,
Please know that I'm so thankful that you guys let me keep my job. However, since you did lay off the International Payroll Analyst who worked like a dog 50+ hours per week and you made a statement that our positions would be combined, I hope you don't think I plan on working 70+ hours per week in order to do two full time jobs....please understand I have a family at home and my sanity is at sake here! Thanks.
Also
Dear Mcdonald's
Stop making your Sweet Teas so delicious! Seriously! It's bad enough I had to stop drinking soft drinks because of my kidney infections...now all I was drinking was your oh so delicious sweet tea...now I have another kidney infection and I'm beginning to think you're the culprit all together...I must stop drinking you now so do me a favor and just stop selling them all together 
Best Regards<
Disgruntled Employee
and
Sweet-tea addicted consumer
mckayleesmom replied:
Can you ad something in your letter? Tell Micky D's to bring back their origional breakfast burrito....that new all in one is disgusting.. 
Calimama replied: Oh I have a few!!
Dear Marine Corps,
Every time I make the best friends possible you move them away. Not cool bud. Send the crappy ones away. I'm due a favor.
Love,
Me!
Dear yoga teacher,
My name is Denise. Not Dennis. Not DA Kneeeees. Not Da Neice. . I understand yesterday was your first encounter with the name "Denise" but tomorrow I will not be so nice about correcting you. You aren't funny, original, or clever. Many a first grader thought of those jokes long before you ever met me. Ironically enough, it was funnier when they said it.
Love,
D E N I S E
Dear neighbors,
I love your son too, he's cute, sweet, and fun. But I love him a lot less when he rings my door bell 500 times a day back to back. You can tell him no. I promise it won't kill him.
Love,
Denise
My2Beauties replied:
Dear Mcdonald's
Stop making your Sweet Teas so delicious! Seriously! It's bad enough I had to stop drinking soft drinks because of my kidney infections...now all I was drinking was your oh so delicious sweet tea...now I have another kidney infection and I'm beginning to think you're the culprit all together...I must stop drinking you now so do me a favor and just stop selling them all together. Also I have a friend who wishes that you'd please get back the old breakfast burritos, the new ones are disgusting and taste like crap. But you do have some darn good sweet tea! Thanks
youngmomofone replied: Dear husband,
I am tired of picking up after you come Monday morning. You think it is OK to trash my living room with coke cans, lean pocket wrappers and sleeves, and whatever else you can think of. The next time I see you leave a plate on the couch, soda on the floor, or a lean pocket wrapper on my counter, I'm going to cut your you-know-what off.
Sincerely,
Your wife that spent 2 hours cleaning after you this morning
mckayleesmom replied:
Perfecto!! 
My3LilMonkeys replied: Dear brain,
Can you please change the "bored = time to eat" section that keeps bugging me to "bored = time to exercise"?
Dear taste buds,
Effective immediately, I request that all greasy, fried, fatty, sweet and/or calorie-filled foods taste like dirt.
luvbug00 replied: Dear professor,
your class would be awsome if your voice wasn't so monatone, i'd rather listen to the lamb chops play a long theme song on repeat for the next five years then to listen to your voice drag on for the tortureous 2 hrs i'm in class. I mean listening to stephen hawking would be a vast improvment to your awful nasely voice. Not to mention why are you a Dr.? we ask u questions and 90% of the time you don't know the answer..wth??
sincerly,
you student who is going deaf and brain dead
HuskerMom replied: I like this thread!
Dear Co-worker,
Will you please stop leaving me in the lunch room with 60 3rd graders all by myself. I realize you have lots of copying or whatever it is you do instead of being where you're suppose to be but come into the lunch room on time. It's not like you do anything in there anyway.
Sincerely,
Miss Joni
Our Lil' Family replied: Dear Mucus,
You are evicted, please leave my body immediately!
Thanks,
Me
sorry if that was gross but I've been up since 5:30 because I can't breathe/stop coughing.
DillsMommy replied: Dear Muscles,
I understand that you're not as young as you use to be, but is it really necessary to STILL be sore after a few hours of dancing Saturday. Come on--it's been 3 days and it still hurts to walk. I would really appreciate it if you could please stop hurting.
Sincerely,
Me
my2monkeyboys replied: Dear Flabby Belly,
Will you please just let go of the last few inches of fat you have and become at least somewhat flat again?? I don't expect a six-pack - I know I'm getting older and have had 2 babies, but I hate that you still pooch out over my pants so much.
Please consider the fact that I do feed you what you want, whenever you want it. You could shed a little flab for me in return.
Thank you!!
Your unpleasantly plump owner
CantWait replied: Dear WHOEVER is a higher power than myself, we sure could use a miracle right now.
DillsMommy replied:
Crystalina replied: Dear "I Don't Know",
I'm really tired of you going into my children's bedrooms, tearing out all their toys and then just leaving without cleaning.
I'm also exhuasted with all of your other antics like leaving good cups outside, spilling nail polish on my table and drinking the last of the apple juice yet returning the empty container into the fridge.
My poor innocent children are the ones who have to pick up your messes and it's getting old. All they want to do is play and enjoy the spring weather yet you keep popping up being destructive.
Please go find another family to harass.
Much Regards & Will Be Happy When You Leave,
Mother of Your Innocent Victims.
A&A'smommy replied: Dear Husband,
Stop leaving your crap everywhere, especially your clothes that you insist on leaving 4 inches from the laundry basket its annoying and I don't find it funny.
Your wife
Dear Autumn,
STOP THROWING EVERYTHING YOU TOUCH your going to break something and that might be your toe.. or worse MINE 
Love your Mother
Dear Alyssa,
I'm so proud of you for being such an AWESOME big sister even when she throws something at your head, and for doing such a great job at school 
Love your Mother
ZandersMama replied: Dear neighbors kid,
i'm sorry that your dad doesnt seem to notice what you are doing. i really am. i'm sorry that you think its ok to push my kid around even though he is 2 and you are 5. i'm really sorry that you managed to get a beer bottle and break it in my driveway. please stay home and keep the beer bottles there.
mom
boyohboyohboy replied: Dear Mom,
Just because I am older and have kids myself doesnt mean that I dont need a little TLC and words of kindness now and then too....I realize that I make mistakes but must you point each one out each time I make one?
Could you just give me a little encouragement to keep going on even though I feel like curling up in a chair sometimes and eating myself into oblivian?
thanks
your oldest daughter..
Dear Kids,
I promise to hug and kiss you no matter how old you get or how large you get, in front of your wives, your friends, and my some day grandkids..
I promise to build you up and always encourage you to be the great people I know you will become.
I love you
mommy
redchief replied: Dear House,
I've spent much of my life within your walls and I love you to pieces, but your remake is taking too long and costs too much money. Will you please get your face lift done and over with already?
Sincerely,
The Occupants
Kentuckychick replied: I sooo need this!
Dear Belly Button,
Please heal.
So I no longer look like I'm 3 months pregnant when in reality I'm just insanely and painfully swollen and bruised.
That is all.
Sincerely,
The rest of your body.
mckayleesmom replied: Dear Husband,
If you want to bulk up and be Mr. Gym..go ahead, but please stop talking about it 24/7. Also, I appreciate you trying to help me lose weight, but I'm not going to do it until I'm ready. I know that I gripe and moan about losing wieght, but I will do it in my own time and I am NOT ready to give up my carbs.
Love
Your annoyed wife.
stella6979 replied: Dear Co-Worker,
Could you please, please, PLEASE stop talking about the swine flu? I understand people's concerns and I'm taking extra precautions myself, but is it really necessary to bring it up every 2 minutes? I don't understand how you can spend the entire work day checking for updates and searching all the stores websites to make sure surgical masks are still available? If you're that worried go get one and wear it, but for crying out loud, give me a break already.
Sincerely,
Extremely Annoyed
coasterqueen replied:
I am going to use your letter for me. That's exactly what I need.
coasterqueen replied:
I'm with you on that one, too.
So do you have an incision a little lower down as well? I do and unfortunately they cut into the same place as my c-section incision and that incision has always been sensitive so this one is making it worse. And it keeps bleeding constantly. Arrghhh! Sorry, I know gross. 
Kentuckychick replied:
I do have one lower too but it hasn't bothered me at all. I'm still keeping it covered because there's a stitch hanging out of it (that should dissolve soon). My belly button bled for several days though.
These incisions sure are a pita!
coasterqueen replied:
Yeah, I still have mine covered, too. The only thing that is weird to me is I don't see a stitch on the lower one. It had a bandaid over a white butterfly type - so maybe she just butterfly stitched it? That seems weird. I just know when I took the butterfly tape off it bled profusely, but then stopped after a bit. So then I just put a bandaid on it. Hmmm, weird. 
PrairieMom replied: Dear Kid,
Seriously, you HAVE to stop with the wining, nagging, complaining. What I need from you, is to gain a little perspective. Its getting to be a bit much, and I am a mommy on the brink.
Seriously, try to be even just a titch grateful for all you have and all I do for you, and for petes sake, LAY OFF ME!
Love, Momy
Kentuckychick replied:
are you sure the butterfly stitch wasn't a steristrip? I know mine had steristrips on them (which are essentially bandaid stitches) that were supposed to stay on for 5-7 days.... the lower one came off after 3 though.
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