Thank you everyone!

mummy2girls wrote: thank you all for your caring words It means alot to me... Today has been extremely hard for me so i went to see someone and they prescribed me some paxil. Well im already was on them during pregnancy they just made the dose stronger. I went and picked up jenna because i just needed to be with her. She is playing with her dolls right now and im just trying to get through this night. I am putting her to sleep in a half hour and then im going to have a hot bubble bath and just think. Im sorry if i scared anyone of you by saying im scared...I would not harm myself. Ive contiplated it but I know that thsi pain will go away as time goes on. I just have to try to cope! Your hugs and emails mean alot to me. To open my email and see all your love and support has helped me through this. The nurses at the hospital let me take pics of my sweet angel, my mom went and got a camera for me so i just need to develop it first then i will get it scanned and post it. If thats ok. I will put a warning because some people can not handle the sight of a baby that had passed away! i am going to tell u all the whole stroy on what happened when jen is in bed asleep. i pmd a couple people already on what happened and just couldnt get the strength to continue so i thought i would just post the story here and then everyone can read.

This Chritsmas is goign to be extremely hard for me so i just hope that i can get through it.

Dee Dee... I just realized our angel boys have the same first name. I guess i blanked out on alot of things and just realized this..DUH! So i hope this isnt going to bring up memeories of your Joshua:( im sorry Hun.

luvbug00 replied: Shelly I again am so sorry for your loss. I know how you feel. I admire your strenth. My heart goes out to you.

amymom replied:

Mommy2BAK replied:

Maddie&EthansMom replied: We love you. I know you will pull thru. Give yourself some time, okay?

angelhair replied: oh shelly my heart breaks for you! I am glad you are on paxil. as you probably know, I have depression and have had to be on meds for a large part of my adult life and I identify with how you feel because after my third miscarriage I felt like harming myself because i felt so depressed and the pain was bad. I got tired of feeling it everyday and it was not that i really wanted to hurt myself in any way, i just wanted to escape and get relief and some peace! I know how devestating it is to go through loss after loss back to back. you will get through it although it may not seem it now. you will survive this and lathough you will always remember joshua the pain will lesson over time. it just that right now it hurts so bad. i know and i am so sorry. i wish i could take the pain away! many many hugs and please you can always pm me tonight if you cannot sleep love dee

~Roo'sMama~ replied:

~KARA~ replied:

Jamison'smama replied: Sending you more hugs and prayers.

Kaitlin'smom replied: I hope your feeling a bit better

A&A'smommy replied: (((((((((BIGGEST HUGS)))))))) I'm so sorry sweetheart!! I'm glad that you are able to get something to help you cope... I hope you will be able to feel a little better soon!!! Let me know if you need anything.. BTW I emailed you.

Sarah&Mackenzie replied: You are in my thougths and prayers everyday. I am so sorry again, I wish I could say something to make you feel better!!!

Boys r us replied: Shelly!

I do have to point out one thing though, for your health sake, you shouldn't be taking bubble baths yet, not for at least 2 weeks.