THAT'S IT!!!!!! - U HAVE TO HEAR THIS ONE !!!

luvbug00 wrote: long pre story short. my aunt promised me and brad her condo he tenent decided last min to stay ( truth her hus. didn't want us in there). Then this..

She sends me an e-mail ( replying to the e-mail i sent with my photos) and it said this..

**They are absolutely beautiful!! I'm thrilled for you. Michael has a
convention that weekend in Hershey PA so he will not be able to attend
the
wedding. Grandma and Pa are staying with me.

Question--and IT's ok to say NO....On Friday, the day that all arrive,
would
you mind if I planned an surprise 80th b-day dinner for Grandpa?

Thanks**

my mental responce is this ... (insert curse words and the name for a female dog)

now my question/ thought is this as well. The friday before my wedding is the day i was planning to have a rehursal dinner and Secoundly her husband can't come? after everything our family did for him ( long story there but he should be greatful) And finally I love my grandpa very much but that is MY weekend! I'm sorry if she wants to save paying for everyones air fare but my parents and brads parents and my friends and I are shelling out a discustig amount of money to make this wedding happen and having another party would cause my dad to have to spend more! not only that but she put me in the worst possision because if I say no then i'll look like a selfish B. So I'm sitting here crying and i'm angry and fustrated and i've had it with her!

SO WHAT DO I DO??????????

Crystalina replied: That sounds like a tough one ....for someone other than me. I would have to tell her where to go and how to get there. It seems like she is riding the coat tails of your wedding for the party.

Now on the other hand it's his 80th Birthday and (hopefully not) but may be his last. Why can't she do the dinner AFTER your wedding?

Tough one.

mckayleesmom replied: Well......I would maybe consider doing a brunch birthday get together....Is that possible??

Kalyne's mom replied: It's completely understandable that you would be upset, this should absolutely be your weekend! Some people just can't help but be the center of attention. I would be angry too. Maybe you could offer to have a cake or something after your rehearsal dinner??? Good Luck!

ashtonsmama replied: I'm sorry-sounds like she's not so easy to deal with...

I don't really know what to tell you...but good luck! Make sure you tell her though how you're feeling, and don't just say "Oh no problem"...KWIM?

luvbug00 replied: well i was angry when I first wrote this but to fill in some datails..

my grandfathers birthday is in MAY
he doesn't want a birthday party ( he expressed this angerly 6 months ago to my dad)
finally I spoke to my dad and had no idea that she was thinking of doing this and he was P****ed.
BTW if my grandpas birthday were near the wedding or if he wanted a party i would have reschedaled the wedding.period.

MamaJAM replied: What about suggesting they throw the party the day AFTER your wedding....maybe a 'brunch-time' party. Yes - you will have to miss it...but most of the other people should be able to attend.

Edward's Mommy replied: I would bring it up to your parents. They'll either take care of it or sit down with you and come up with a plan to celebrate both. Good luck!!

MamaJAM replied: I just saw your second post....it really seems like your aunt is a MAJOR party pooper and, for some reason, trying to take away from YOUR special day.

Especially since your grandfather has made his feeling on this clear - and it's not even like it's near the same time. Someone just needs to smack some sense into your aunt.

Enjoy YOUR weekend.

CantWait replied: I'd be a little pissed also. Are all the same people she'd be inviting to the party, the same people going to the wedding, or the rehersal dinner? If so, the rehersal isn't the really special day, so I would say make it a rehersal with a little special empasis on the birthday. Maybe she'll help incure some of the costs since she's stepping in.

CAMSMOM1 replied:

ITA with Judy. You should have your day special, and it's not like she didn't know you were planning this....hello....it's been scheduled for how long??? I would write her back, or call, and tell her that your Grandpa has said several times he doesn't want a big party. And that you guys could get together the following day, for a small intimate family dinner together. I'm sure he doesn't want a surprise party, but if she's set on it, then a small dinner together should be fine. Or have your Dad call her, and tell her.
But you shouldn't reschedule your day. And if she's going to be like this, I wouldn't want her there anyways.
Sorry she's trying to ruin your plans, but don't let her get to you.

luvmykids replied: She sounds just like DH's grandma who tried to combine the twins bday with their 25 year old cousins!!

It would be really hard for me, because I'm a people pleaser, but you need to tell her it's all set up as is, that you know his 80th bday is a big deal but so is your ONE wedding, and that you've mentioned it to other family members just to "get ideas" and they all knew he really does not want a party. If she argues just tell her to take it up with someone who gives a darn.

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: ITA, your wedding is just that. YOURS. Your aunt should be ashamed of herself for several things, least of all not knowing that her own father doesn't WANT a party. Tell her no, give her those reasons and add in your head, "bugger off"