Spencer Asked me to Leave

Kirstenmumof3 wrote: He was in a fowl mood when I got there this morning, so I told him that I was going to grab a tea and sit in the Parents Lounge for a bit. When I came back I started cleaning off the white board in his room and I noticed that it was all sticky, so I said jokingly "Did you have a wild party in here last night?" He didn't answer. Then I noticed that the wall and floor were all sticky, so when his nurse came in I asked her if he had had a rough night and she told me that everything was fine. So I asked him what happened and he wouldn't answer me. He was still grouchy and then he told me to leave. So I left and told him I would see him tomorrow. I don't know what to do! I told the desk clerk that I will have my cell phone on, in case he changes his mind and wants me to come back. I just feel so lost right now!

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I'm so sorry, Kirsten. That has to hurt. But, you know, maybe this will be a good break for you. Try not to think about it (I know, easier said than done) but you need to do something for yourself before you break. I'm real worried about you. Spencer will be fine. He has lots of people to take care of him, but there is no one taking care of you right now.

C&K*s Mommie replied: don't know what to say. could this be his way of telling you that you need a rest? Being in a foul mood, & pushing you out the door? It sounds odd, but maybe you can take advantage of it, and take a few minutes to clear your mind and gather your thoughts then come back fully refreshed for him. I do not know.

I am sorry though that your feelings were hurt.

Halo42101 replied: The only thing I know to do right now is to give you a lot of , even if it's just through the computer.

A&A'smommy replied: ITA with Amiee!!! Do something for yourself even if its just going to the park and going for a walk or reading a book!!!

3xmommy replied: I wouldn't take it to heart hon... I'd say he is just frustrated with his illness, all the medicine, and how he feels. I'd say he feels like he isn't normal and he doesn't know what to do to fix himself... which would cause the poor lil guy to be mad.


-Mom

lisar replied: Oh honey I am so sorry.
I dont know what to say.

luvmykids replied: Kirsten I'm sure you know this but I was looking at stuff online about Graft Versus Host and one of the possible affects is mood swings, combined with everything else I imagine he's at the end of his rope too. I can't imagine how much it hurts, especially when you're pulling your hair out trying to do everything under the sun. Kids can cut their moms heart like no one else but know you're not the reason he's having such a hard time.

I wish I had something to say to help, you've been so strong and it's been a long, long, long journey, everyone must be at their breaking point. Does the hospital have any kind of support group for parents or anything? If you can get away at all I would say now is the time to do it even if you don't feel like it, I can't imagine anyone who wouldn't need a change of scenery by now.

I'm thinking of you, many many .

Momof3inMe replied:

Kirstenmumof3 replied: Thanks everyone! I really do appreciate your support! I'm trying not to take things to personally, but it's hard. I'm depressed and trying so hard to pull myself out of if. I went for a walk and mailed a parcel home. This will be the third one, just to alleviate some of the stuff we do need to pack in the suitcases. The hospital has not called so I'm guessing that Spencer doesn't need me to come back. I just want to go home.

C&K*s Mommie replied:

amymom replied: Hugs and prayers!!
I wish I could do more.
My heart breaks for you.

~Roo'sMama~ replied: ((((HUGS)))) Kirsten. I'm sorry that really had to hurt.

ions_momma replied: I am so sorry. I agree with everyone else though. Just take some time and do something for yourself.

b&bsmom replied:
ITA you both need a break and you need to take care of yourself. Try and get some rest and rejuvinate (sp) yourself

ashtonsmama replied: I'm sorry Kirsten...try not to take it personally-I know that's hard, but just try to let it go, I'm sure Spencer didn't mean to hurt your feelings hun.

And ITA with Aimee, you need to do something for yourself to give yourself a break...

amynicole21 replied:
I agree. You are the one he is taking it out on because you are the one he feels most safe with.

holley79 replied: Sounds like Spencer is just at a lost right now. He might just need a little "alone" time himself. I hope that the conference call goes well. Please let us know.