Someone give me strength... - my heart is aching
TeagansMom609 wrote: Well my DH put himself in a drug detox facility this past Monday. I have been talking to him everyday since he has been in there. I found out not only does he have an alcohol addiction but is addicted to painkillers too. Oxycontin to be exact. I had no idea. He said he has been taking them for a year.
I went to visit him on Saturday, I had to take a 5 hour co-dependency class first though. Then finally once I got to see him, he looked horrible. They have him on all of these meds to help him with his withdrawl from alcohol and opiates. He was all doped up. I was so pissed. But supposedly its helping him not have seizures, etc., all of the side effects of withdrawl.
Anyway, now tommorrow he is coming home for the night and will be leaving on Tuesday morning to go to a treatment facility in south Florida. Im hoping he is only there for 3 months at the most, rather then 6.
Im so upset, I cry all the time. I feel like Ive been abandoned. I have to take care of Teagan, go through pregnancy all alone, work to pay all the bills myself, etc. Its so hard, and its only been a week since he has been gone.
He tells me he really needs to do this so he can get better and I know that, but its still hurting me. He says he needs to get well so he can be a better husband, father and person all together. He tells me to be strong, and how things will be so much better once he gets out and is sober.
I feel like im in a nightmare and cant wake up. Im afraid he will spend all of this time in rehab and then come home and relapse. Its so scary. This is all just horrible.
luvbug00 replied: I think it's good that he wants to change but I also feel for you because you have to work extra hard and have your two little ones to worry about. You are strong and I really hope that he fixes himself up. oxi is a horrible drug and I know many persons effected by it. I have seen more positive outcomes then negitive ones. we are all here for you and I'm praying for you and for him to get better.
Mommy2BAK replied: You are a very strong woman, and you can do this! I hope this will have a wonderful outcome for him and your family.
Mom2Boyz replied: I hope he is able to get the help that he needs to kick both habits P&PT's for comming your way
holley79 replied: My thoughts and prayers are with you right now.
CantWait replied: I know what it's like to be alone and do it all on your own. You just have to remember that he's doing this for the best reasons possible. Right now as hard as it is you have to keep these feelings from him. He's got his own set of major problems right now, and hearing what you're going through might make him feel like quitting or might make him feel worse. I go through this with every tour my husband has ever gone through. Keep the bad home life at home, cause the soldiers got a job to do, and telling them will do nothing besides worry them and distract them from the task at hand. Hugs to you hon. It sounds odd, but you'll learn so much about yourself in this time, and you'll see how strong you really are.
Alice replied: I'm so sorry you're going through such a tough time.
But is this any worse than when he was around? Look back at some of your recent posts... his behavior was out of control and he was doing nothing to stop it. This is a wonderful positive thing he's doing, for himself and your family. And, while I know it's got to be brutal to get through, you all will, and you'll be so much better off afterwards.
In the meantime, TODAY, contact Al-Anon. It's related to AA, but it's for the families of the alcoholics. They'll help you out and give you support. Really, they know this stuff, they'll help you cope. Why not stop right now and give them a call???
Let us know how things go.
3xsthefun replied: I hope that he can kick both of his habits.
MomToMany replied: I hope he can get through this. It will be extremely hard for both of you, but it will be worth all the pain if he can get his life in order and become the husband & father he needs to be.
Jamielou replied:
mom21kid2dogs replied: Hopefully the longer he spends in recovery, the more resolve he will build to stay clean. Given all you've done basically on you own in the past, I know you can do this. Hugs to you as you pass through this phase of treatment with him.
coasterqueen replied: I won't pretend that it won't be hard because you already know it will. I say the same thing for my situation but at least we'll get to talk to DH daily and we'll see him for sure in 3 months from now. Just know that I am here for you and thinking of you and your children daily. Please come here when you need a shoulder to cry on or a place to vent. We are here for you.
kimberley replied: oh hon, this must be so hard for you. sending lots of strength your way and praying Sean gets through this quickly.
ps al-anon is a great help and resource. definitely worth looking into.
My2Beauties replied: We are here for you hon, you'll be surprised at how strong you can be! Another member said it wasn't any better when he was home - and she was right hon! He needs to do this for himself and for his family! If you need us we're here!
3'smom replied: That is a hard addiction. My sister went through it with her husband. He relapsed 3 times and is now in rehab again and they are divorcing. They told her coming off the painpills it as bad as coming off heroin. Plus if they try to quit taking them they have pain, but it's not real pain. Their body tells them they need pills as they are addicted. I am praying for you and all your family. It's a long hard road that I've seen firsthand.
Maddie&EthansMom replied: I'm so sorry to hear that. It won't be an easy road ahead, but you will both get thru it. I will pray for strength for both of you b/c you will both need it. My brother is addicted to Oxycontin and has been for years. He just can't get better. He should be headed to rehab (again) soon. It is an awful addiction and 3's mom was right...it is much like heroin addiction.
I'm so sorry...I'm even more sorry that I know so much about this and can't tell you that it will be easy and after 3 months that he will be fine...it may take years.
ions_momma replied: Im sooo sorry to hear that! I know how hard it can be. My boyfriend in High school that I dated for 2 1/2 years went to rehab for 6 months and I thought that I was going to go crazy! I cried all the time! Im sure it is even harder for you though since you have a daughter and another baby on the way but just keep in mind that it is going to be better in the end. And if you are worried about him doing it all again when he gets back, I would doubt that he will. My ex-boyfriend always said that he was going to but after being away from everyone for 6 months, he changed his mind.
Kirstenmumof3 replied: I know this is hard on you right now! But in the end it will all be worth it. Your DH did the right thing by getting the help he needs! You are strong and you will get through this!
|