Shelly - I am confused.......

moped wrote: or blond, who knows, but what happened to your post?????

holley79 replied:

Calimama replied: My guess is she deleted it.

moped replied: Nooo....

PrairieMom replied:

moped replied: Shelly? Really? Why?

boyohboyohboy replied: i thought it was my computer!

amymom replied: Hmmmm? I've been away all day... What post?

PrairieMom replied: It was about what to do about bridesmaids.

gr33n3y3z replied:
I was going to ask the samething

kimberley replied: what happened?

lovemy2 replied: Yep - it got deleted apparently -

holley79 replied: Shelly asked for honest opinions for her bride's maid situation. I thought for sure my computer had some glitches or something.

gr33n3y3z replied:
Oh I didnt know she had any problems
Sorry hun

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: Yeah, thought it was my computer too. It actually went down as I was responding. Said there was an error when I hit reply. Strange.

lisar replied: I dont know.

MommyToAshley replied: Shelly deleted the thread.

However, we as a mod team have discussed this in the past and we are actually taking a suggestion from one of the members here. If a mod is involved in a thread and feels a comment is not appropriate, then that mod will ask another unbiased mod that is not involved in the discussion to step in and moderate the thread. It's difficult to be a member and a mod at the same time, and it is really hard to moderate a thread in which you are emotionally involved. Hopefully, this will keep things fair for all.

Calimama replied:
That's a good idea. IMO there was nothing said that was rude, HONEST yes, but in the title it asked for "honest opinions".

MommyToAshley replied:
I didn't have the opportunity to read the thread but I have heard many say that they didn't mean to hurt Shelly's feelings and thought that she wanted honest opinions. But, everyone reads into things differently... thus, the reason for the rule about asking another mod to step in.

PrairieMom replied:
I agree that this is a good idea. IMO there was nothing in the thread that warranted it being deleted, but obviously, Shelly had strong feelings about it.

Shelly.

lovemy2 replied: I didn't think it was out of hand either but weddings, etc. can be very EMOTIONAL subjects so - many many to you Shelly and please don't stop telling us about your wedding plans and woes - we are here to support you and enjoy this time with you.

moped replied: Well I was shocked that it was deleted because there was NOTHING in it or any reason for it to be..........I am a bit disappointed that we get asked for opinions but actually can't give them for fear of the post being deleted. Don't ask for opinions if you don't want them - sorry. But I was very interested in the thread and like reading what other people think.

SO if you are a mod you can delete even if there is really no reason to delete!

Sorry....

Cece00 replied: Color me confused....I never even saw the post...what was she asking about re: bridesmaids that people were honest about & she was upset??

PrairieMom replied:
It was just about if she should choose a certain person to be a BM even if she may not be able to make it to all the pre-wedding functions and is leaving the country before the wedding, but will return only a week before the wedding. She asked for our opinions on it. Obviously something said upset her. although, IMO, nothing bad was said.

moped replied:
One of the bridesmaids was going to be in Africa and could be here to help with parties and stuff she needed - she would return a week before the wedding - some said not to worry about it and that she doesn't need to be there etc etc

it was no big deal until now!

Calimama replied:
It might have been me, I said "IMO it's a bit selfish to expect her to cut her trip short". I didn't mean it to be rude, but I was honest.

Cece00 replied:
I dont think that is rude. I think the same thing.

Personally, not that my opinion matters, but I think I'd just skip that person as a bridesmaid if she is unavailable, and I am sure there would be no hard feelings over that. If I was the girl who was going to be out of town for all the planning & all, I'd still be happy to go to the wedding as a guest.

stella6979 replied:
Thank you for saying exactly what I was thinking.

moped replied:
No Denise I am sure it wasn't you at all

lisar replied:
Personally I didnt see a problem with the thread. And I dont think its fair to be able to delete a thread that you started just because you didnt like the responses you got. There are many threads I didnt like the way they ended up after I started them but I couldnt delete them.

Why dont we all wait for Shelly to reply and tell us "her" reason as to why she deleted it.

gr33n3y3z replied: Ok its a done deal let is go
And no if you read what Dee Dee wrote and not what other members wrote you would see it isnt right to delete your own post your involved with.
So please all go back and read what Dee Dee has said

Crystalina replied:
...or lock it after starting it and you aren't getting the responses you like. That's happened. I'm just saying. It's no biggie really but it's kind of irritating for regular members who don't have the option.

DeeDee's idea is great!

Jamison'smama replied: My goodness--who cares? We have deleted other's threads because it turned negative or they re-thought their original question or didn't think it through all the way before posting. We do it for other people because it's kind. If someone feels uncomfortable, why should we leave the post there for the uncomfortable topic to be continued? I'm sure she read all the responses so your points were made. Leaving an uncomfortable post just leads to negativity and some people are just reading the post to see all the sparks fly. It's gone, no reason to rehash it in this thread.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Exactly Brenda - WHO CARES?

Some of you have had posts removed by request before...and didn't have to justify your reasons for wanting your post deleted...be it controversy, someone in real life might be reading the board, whatever reason.... Why is it such a big deal now. Holy crap people... have you nothing better to do?!

lisar replied:
I have asked to have a post removed before. And I was told no due to there was no reason to remove it. I didnt ask you to remove them Rocky but next time I will.

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
I just want to be clear that I won't be removing every post from everyone who asks... but if it truly is a post that makes you uncomfortable because of member responses...

I can't imagine why Shelly was made to feel bad. Why, just look at the turn out of this post.

Can you feel the sarcasm just dripping off my words??

gr33n3y3z replied: Mean Girls comes to my head

lisar replied:
Her original post was nothing like this one. This post turned into something way off topic.

I read her original post and didnt see anything wrong with it. No one was being mean to her. She asked for thoughts and she got them. I am not gona judge her for some reason that I dont why it was deleted like others saying she didnt like the responses. I dont know cause I havent heard it from her.

Jamison'smama replied: locking