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She was spanked ...


kelsmom wrote: So this is what I decided to do to my child after she ASKED to be spanked instead of grounded..


I went into her room and said okay yuou can be spanked.
She go soo exctied and was like okay do it!
So i was like this is hwat is going to happen though, for 2 months you will be spanked and grounded for everything that you would normally be grounded for, and at the end of 2 months you can decide which you want as a punishment more.
She started to cry andw as like "no no no mommy i just want to be spanekd this one time."
I was like well you were so exctied, so im gonna do it for a while.


I gave her 3 slaps on her clothes hiney, not hard at all, she barely cried, and she was still grounded for new years. And for 2 months thats how its going to work. She is kicking herself in her butt for asking..


What do you hoestly thinkl?

mom2my2cuties replied: Well I don't think it was a good idea to in esscence give an option in which punishment she can/should/will recieve. As parents, it is our job to decide that, not our childrens. But I also think by doing both, you may be teaching her to quit trying to negotiate it.


Calimama replied: Sounds like she'll learn that she's in charge of her punishment. Personally I would never give my child that choice. hug.gif wink.gif

sparkys2boys replied: It does kinda sound like she in the end won. But it is your choice to make not ours and now you will have to stick by what you have told her.. good luck hug.gif

cameragirl21 replied: if you don't mind my asking, how old is this child you speak of? in your first post, it seemed like she was a teenager but the way you describe her in this post, she seems very young, i just don't understand why a very young child would have plans of her own on NYE or any other night.
so how old is she?

mummy2girls replied: personally i would never let jenna choose her punishment.. because if she wants to be spanked then that punishment is not getting through to her and she will keep doing what she is doing and not quit because she knows that you will do what she wanst to punishment.

kelsmom replied: She is 11.

With older siblings.

JadensMama05 replied: Okay here's my opinion. I agree that I wouldn't give my kid a choice but I think that by doing both and by making it so it lasts a while (instead of just this once, like she wanted), she will probably see that both of these punishments suck. Obviously she already doesn't like being grounded. I think grounding is a much better punishment personally. For one, I'm not big on violence. A little tap on the hand here and there is all I really would do, so obviously no child of mine would learn from that in the long run. LOL. Second, grounding lasts longer, makes a kid have to deal with punishment longer. Spanking just gets done and overwith. I don't really see a lesson with spanking. But it seems to me that you've gone the grounding road and are just trying out the spanking to show your daughter that it sucks too. I dunno if what I said even makes all that much sense. LOL. Good luck with all of this tho. I hope she learns from it all.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Well once again I'm on the other side of the fence with the popular opinion... I think it's great that you are giving her a choice. On several shows that I've seen, and in my "guide" from the agency I work for, once good thing about kids with behavioral issues (not saying your kid has behavioural issues...) is that if you ivolve them in the punishment process, they are more likely to respond to it.

I've had many many issues with the daycare child I watch... and finally I found something that WORKS! Him and I sat down and talked about naughty behaviour, and what would be an appropriate punishment. We wrote it down and drew pictures of it... and now, since he helped in choosing the consequences, he's a lot better behaved. biggrin.gif biggrin.gif thumb.gif

I still think it's wierd that she WANTS to be spanked... but whatever, ya know? I hope it all works out for you. thumb.gif

lesliesmom replied: I'm not sure I agree with letting her choose her punishment, HOWEVER, I think she wanted to be spanked figuring she would not get grounded. By doing both you took away an "easy" punishment. I am at the point with my son (who is only 3) where we sit down and decide on a punishment. Any thing else (my arbitrarily taking away toys, time outs, no tv) didn't affect him. He would just move on. Being involved, he sees more of a consequence and is aware what will happen (and what he will lose) if he gets into trouble. For me, being prepared and knowing a consequence in advance helps avoid any yelling and lashing out on our part. We just reinforce what he did wrong, and this is what is going to happen and why.

lisar replied: I think you did fine. Giving her a choice wasnt so bad IMO.. As long as she gets punished somehow thats all that counts to me.

Cece00 replied: 11 yrs old is too old to be spanked IMO

And at that age, there are far better punishments for getting your point across. Things are sooooo important to kids that age (friends, activities, etc) that it wouldve been very easy to punish & make it hard for her.

But- good luck with your situation anyway.

my2monkeyboys replied: I think you did great... you let her "choose" her punishment, but then stuck to your guns and still gave her both. Bet she won't be so eager to try and get an "easier" out next time!

Boo&BugsMom replied: My two cents...
*I also think 11 years old is too old to be spanked because they are old enough to know "rhyme and reason" and there are many other tools to use with a child this old.
*I think giving her a choice is a good thing, however, I think the choices for punishments should always be equal to each other as closely as possible. I have given Tanner a punishment choice. It helps him learn how certain punishments fit the behavior and what a fair punishment is.
*Also, it almost seems like you went back on your word. You said she could only get spankings for 2 months but made it seem like she could then go out for New Years. In a way it's like you still followed through with your initial punishment (which is good) but then you added more with the spanking which seemed a bit unfair to her. JMO If you were going to give her a choice, then you have to stick to the choice and give her somewhat of a win situation or else there is no point in giving her a choice in the first place. Know what I mean?

Honestly, I do like your creativity behind it all. smile.gif Just make sure you carry through with it. Punishments should be fair, but also realistic so they can be carried out. smile.gif

ZandersMama replied: unsure.gif 11 seems way to old to be spanked to me........but then i dont spank, occasionally a tap on the hand for things that are dangerous( playing around plugs or something )


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