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Seriously don't know what to do anymore - potty training


Our Lil' Family wrote: Since January we have been potty training Thomas. He does great with urinating in the potty and hasn't really had an accident in a long time. The same is NOT true for pooping. I cannot get that boy to consistently go on the toilet. And he's not regular so I cannot predict it at all. We recently bought him his first bike, as evident in my new siggy (Thanks Crystal tongue.gif ) and he is in LOVE with it! I thought, this is PERFECT...if he has an accident, he cannot ride his bike, he'll be so upset that it'll make him want to go in the potty. Worked for maybe 2 days. Just now he had an accident so I say, "guess that means you can't ride your bike today", "Okay mommy", "maybe I'll have to take it back to the store", "Okay mommy". He could not care less! O M G what do I do? I have tried making him clean it...yeah, that's more trouble than affective. I have tried time outs...in fact he's in there right now crying, but not because he can't ride his bike.

HELP ME!!!!!!!!

A&A'smommy replied: oh bless your soul!!! I had the same problem with Alyssa and to be honest the only thing that worked was encouragement (never punishment) and rewarding her with something that she LOVES (chocolate) everytime she did good eventually (took a REALLY long time) she completely potty trained. Just give him time and pace yourself it could be a long road or maybe not. Have you tried a chart and after so many stickers give him a BIG prize

Our Lil' Family replied: Yeah, he's so not interested in a chart! Money worked for PP'ing but that lost his interest too.
I think I'll try candy or something new as a reward each day.

A&A'smommy replied:
UGH I know the feeling it didn't work for us either, Good luck I hope the candy works

Our Lil' Family replied: He just saw my siggy and said,
"That's me on my BIKE!" I was like "yep, it is. but you can't ride it today...why?" "because I poo poo'd in my underwear",
"are you sad?",
"no"
growl.gif growl.gif growl.gif growl.gif growl.gif
So much for that.

Kaitlin'smom replied: I also did the encouragement for Kailtin I let her pick out her reward (suckers) and at first it was everytime she pooed in the potty then it was slowly cut buck, then only when she reminded me then it just stoped. She did train pretty fast, I also explaned to her in a calm voice we dont potty in our undies, I did not make a big deal of it, I was lucky only 2 times and that was it.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: Maybe he's just not ready. Sorry if that's not what you want to hear. But I truly believe that like any milestone, there is not a one size fits all answer. Some kids just pick it up quicker than others. Don't throw in the towel though, just back off some and reward him for the times he does go. And it doesn't have to be something like a toy/bike/candy. Just give him praise and a "high five" and just keep working. At this age, accidents really are just accidents IMO. My Wil is almost four and he still has accidents here and there, I honestly think it's a boy thing (wetting up front). So don't beat yourself up over it. Your son will get it soon. hug.gif

boyohboyohboy replied: we are in the same boat, it feels like we have been at this forever and are no farther along...
but I think that he isnt ready either..he goes if I take him and he is thrilled to go, but not on his own...
jake will be three in nov.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: He will get there in time, sweetie. It's definitely a developmental thing and he just needs to grasp it. Sometimes it takes a little longer. Try not to force it. It will only frustrate you more. hug.gif hug.gif

Our Lil' Family replied: We were at lunch today, at Chick fil A and he was playing, he stopped and told me he had to go to the bathroom and he actually pooped there! I could not believe it! He got tons of praise....TONS and a little treat at Target later! wink.gif

My2Beauties replied: Please take my advice, do not reprimand him or punish him for not pooping in the potty. My story: I learned this the hard way. I tried the same thing you are trying now and it blew up in my face. There are several other parents on the board whose children went through the same thing mine did with #2 issues. We talked about poop on here more than I can count laugh.gif My daughter did what they call "toddler withholding" which meant that at one time or another she was fearful to go #2, either it hurt or the thought of performing #2 on the potty frightened her or maybe she made a mistake one time and I yelled at her. Either way, it "traumatized her" from there on out when she had to go poop. So they start "holding it in" for as long as they possibly can until they can't hold it any longer. This, in turn, causes them to have extremely painful bowel movements when they do go, horrible cases of bellyaches and your whole life becomes engulfed in asking sitters/your spouse/anyone that was around while you were out if they pooped or not. She would go sometimes 5-7 days without pooping. I was extremely concerned. When she would go the size of her poop (not trying to be gross or give TMI) would be literally like a foot long and very wide, it looked PAINFUL!! She would scream and cry the whole time she would finally go poop. One night, it was so terrible, she screamed and cried through the whole night, it was like 4am in the morning. She kept running in the bathroom, looking at the toilet, crying hysterically and running back in her room. I knew she had to go, when she' d get up she would squeeze her buttcheeks together and was walking extremely funny. I knew she was hurting. I had to literally pull her pants down and physically hold her down on the toilet and honey she fought me tooth and nail. She was screaming bloody murder the whole entire time. I knew though that if she cried and was in a sitting position she'd release her hold and it would come out. As soon as it did she stopped crying and looked up and I said do you feel better now and she said yes mommy I do, but I'm scared to poop! I mean I wanted to cry. It was horrible and I felt awful for holding her down. The people on here let me know that I needed to get her to a doc and get her a prescription for a stool softener. We had to do that for about 6 months or so and once the #2's started being easier for her to go and she went more frequently she was fine. She has been fine ever since and we have no issues, she goes quite frequently now rolleyes.gif .

But kids regress and this is normal, please don't punish them for it. My cousin's little girl went through this and she never thought to take her to the doctor, to this day, her daughter is almost 9 and she has major #2 issues and it is still traumatizing to her. sleep.gif

Our Lil' Family replied: Thanks LeaAnn, I actually remember you going through that with Hanna. I think we'll ease up on it a little. I knew that because yesterday he told me, today he wouldn't and sure enough, an accident this morning. I think I'll just deal with it until it happens, I'm worn out from this!

grapfruit replied:
Does he just have "accidents" at home??

Our Lil' Family replied:
No, at Mothers Day Out too. And occasionally in public but he seems to hold it in until we get home. sleep.gif


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