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Raising a Spirited Child

coasterqueen wrote: I just got the book "Raising your spirited child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka and I've finished 2 chapters so far. OMG! This woman must be looking in my windows! I am in tears right now because I read the first 2 chapters and was like "OMG she KNOWS what I am going through"!

I can't wait to finish the book and the work book to see if it can help me raise my spirited child wub.gif

Just wondered if anyone else has read it and if it helped them???

Jamison'smama replied: I got this book for Christmas ( I asked for it) but have not read anything yet--I asked a couple of weeks ago on here if anyone had read it but didn't hear anything. I'm glad it looks good to you---I am looking forward to reading it.

Schnoogly replied: Yep love that book! Much of it is still a little old for Iain, but I know it will come in handy later.

coasterqueen replied:
I must have missed that post wink.gif So far what I've read has hit close to home. I'll let you know how it turns out.

coasterqueen replied:
Yeah, I was wondering that too, if the book was a bit old for Kylie. But so far just the few chapters I've read has made me feel good. You know, like we are not alone, like I didn't do anything wrong, and that *if* I try to understand her better *I* can help to make a difference with her. KWIM? I'll see what else the book gives me as I go on. It came with a workbook. I haven't looked thru it so don't know how much it will help.

Kirstenmumof3 replied: thumb.gif Yup I have that book! I go through that on a daily basis! I have a HIGHLY spirited, EXTRAVERTED daughter! Somedays I feel like I'm going to pull my hair out! blink.gif

MommyToAshley replied: thumb.gif That's great, I hope you find some good pointers. Please let us know if you find anything that you think all of us could use. Even though I don't have a HN child, I have a very stubborn one. Do they have a chapter on stubborness? rolling_smile.gif

Maddie&EthansMom replied:

Just to tell you that realizing this very thing and changing the way I *deal* with Maddie and understanding her more has helped me more than anything. Good Luck...I wish I would have known about that book 2 years ago. wink.gif I'm glad you found something that makes you feel better and that you can relate to. That is such a good feeling. biggrin.gif

coasterqueen replied:
I think this book addresses more than what I consider "high needs". It's about all children with "spirit", energy, stubborness, etc. It gives parents ways to *deal* with their child's temperament. I'm only on Chapter 5, though. But when I'm thru, I will see what pointers would help everyone and post them smile.gif

coasterqueen replied:
It does make a difference to be able to understand them! I'm still not far into this book, but I realized that I am somewhat spirited and was as a child. Only wish my mom had the book in my time, lol. Might have made a world of difference in how she raised me wink.gif

kit_kats_mom replied: This has nothing to do with the book but I just thought I'd share. I was at storytime with K the other day and there was a toddler there who was literally, bouncing off of the walls. She ran to one side of the room, flung herself against the wall, ran/jumped to the other side and repeted this many many times...her mom looked soooo tired. She is 3 weeks younger than K. Made me feel a little bit better that although my kid wears me out sometimes, it could be worse...WAY worse. LOL

MommyToAshley replied:
thumb.gif Thanks, can't wait to hear them!

Schnoogly replied: Well I can tell the 2 things I really took away from that book.

1. Know your child's limits and respect them.

2. Plan everything. Have a plan A, plan B, and plan C even.

Here's an example of how I used this book in everyday life: last weekend Iain and I went to visit my mom 2 hours away. Now I know that he *can* sleep in the car under the right conditions, but I also know that because he is 1) very high energy and 2) intense (two traits discussed in the book) that he gets very upset in the car very quickly if not entertained by someone sitting next to him. I know from experience that he can last about a half hour to an hour, depending, without freaking out. I also know that he likes to be carried around in his carrier at shopping centers, and this sometimes makes him sleepy.

So I made a plan A: get him really calm and sleepy and leave for the trip at naptime. Plan A: he falls asleep and sleeps the whole way (you might call this the Heavenly Plan LOL). If this doesn't work, and he doesn't fall asleep, I planned an errand for us to do when he needed to stop. I needed to get some diapers and some wrapping paper for a present, so when he started to freak out about 45 minutes into the trip, we stopped, shopped, and then he fell right to sleep when we got back in the car and slept the rest of the way. This was plan B.

On the way home we needed plan C: keep stopping and shopping until he falls asleep in the car. We had to stop twice on the way home, not once. But he did finally fall asleep.

Because I planned these things, I wasn't ticked off when they happened. I knew his limits and that there was no way he could go the whole way without freaking out, and that it wasn't likely plan A would work. This is what the book advocates--respecting what your child can handle, which is generally a lot less than non-spirited kids.

Anyway, I saw a lot of myself in that book too. I am very intense, persistent, and sensitive. Iain and I push each other's buttons. I am trying to work on seeing the positive--what he can do, rather than what he can't. It is hard!! But he has changed so much in the last month, I am really proud of him.

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