Question on the radio this a.m. - pertaining to Halloween costumes

C&K*s Mommie wrote: There was a dispute between two parents over the costume choice of their 3y/o son. The parents called in to the radio show, to solicit the opinions of others, and the deejays weighed in too and told what they thought. It is likely a common dispute, but I was curious to know what others think.

The son (who is 3) wanted to be Cinderella/ or a ballerina for Halloween. The mother is kosher with it, and wished for her son to be whatever he wanted to be.

The father, otoh, did not want his son to be ridiculed now or ever- so he was against the choice of his son dressing in typical female attire for Halloween.

What do you think? Would you let your young son dress as he wanted to for Halloween?

Kaitlin'smom replied: Yes I would let my child dress as they choose for halloween (as long at was approiate). Its a COSTUME...for goodness sakes.

mckayleesmom replied: Yes I would....how many grown men think its a hoot to dress up as woman for holloween? What is the difference? I think it is the men who think they will get ridiculed and not the kids. God forbid that their friends find out they let their son dress up as Cinderella..kwim?

mom2my2cuties replied: I think Halloween is the time for pretend.

And there ARE male ballerinas

And a lot of guys dress up as women on halloween

CantWait replied: No way!!!! I just don't think I could do it, and dh would have a fit at that also. Anthony loves to dress up in dresses etc when he goes to daycare and we have serveral pictures provided by them with the proof. DH just shakes his head.

booey2 replied: That would be a huge fight in our house too. I would/will let the boys be whatever they want at halloween or whenever. DH would be standing at the door not letting them leave. You would be surprised at the number of boys dressing up as girls that we get when I hand out the candy on halloween.

Let them be little, they only get to do it once.

Terri

hawkshoe replied: Honestly, No, I probably would not allow it. I know dh would definately not be cool with it either.

TANNER'S MOM replied: Okay this is going to sound odd. But my boys would never ask to be that. I know this sounds odd, but people have said to me... Your boys are all boy. Meaning they are very boyish and manly in their actions. I have a cousin who's boy is very soft hearted and very gentle. His skin is soft and he doesn't really like being rough housed with. I sometimes wish my boys have some of his traits..lol
But I can see him going with a gentler thing like a ballerina.. but I can't see my boys even asking.

So, I have no clue what I would do.

luvbug00 replied: Yes. cosstume. need I say more.

My2Beauties replied: Regardless of whether or not I would allow it, it would not fly with my DH at all I think the father is right in that other younger kids would probably also seriously make fun of him, I mean kids will be kids, it doesn't make it right but I can foresee that that would happen.

amynicole21 replied: Yes. I'd even put his makeup on for him.

Crystalina replied: I don't even see an arguement in this. The boy was 3 for God's sake. And it's Halloween. I can see if he wanted to wear it to preschool or Wal-Mart. I would not have a problem with Evan wearing a dress for Halloween at all. It's all fantasy. I also don't see any kids making fun of a 3 yr old either. Now if he's 6 or older and he chooses to wear one then the results will be something that he has to deal with but a 3 yr old? DH would not have a problem with that as a Halloween cosutme but like I said if it were everyday attire it wouldn't happen. Evan is very much a boy and my DH is very much a man but sneak a peak into my house in the evenings and you'll find him getting a "makeover" from Izabella. The nail polish, lipstick the whole nine yards.

MoonMama replied: Yes I would no doubt. I don't think Alec would let it happen though, but I would be okay with it 100%. When my brothers were little and they saw my mom putting on makeup (something she only does for special occasions really) they of course were interested as all kids are. So she went out and bought them some Halloween makeup to play with. Great idea I think.

holley79 replied: I find it no different then a grown man dressing at a woman. Well actually the difference is the 3 year old probably loves Cinderella and just wanted to be his favorite character for Halloween.

ETA: I just asked DH on the phone his opinion. He said not only know but well you know....

I just asked the detectives and they all said, HE is a BOY he is not to be dressed in a girlie costum.

luvmykids replied: I don't know, coming from Colt it might not suprise me too much....He is definitely all boy but being around me and his sisters all the time sometimes he just wants to do the same stuff as us. Like he went through a phase where he didn't get it why boys can't paint their nails, we were all doing it and he felt left out. But his dad would probably die trying to prevent it.

What was the majority of the radio opinions?

Boo&BugsMom replied: Hummm...not sure. Probably not, and to be honest, I really don't know why. Perhaps because these are their formative years and something just doesn't sit right with me about it. I know hubby would never let it happen anyways even if I was ok with it. I'm not sure there are many men who would allow their son to, not any that I know personally anyway. Plus, Tanner would never want to. Like Tanner's Mom said too, my Tanner would never even ask either. He's all boy and even has it in his head what is girly and what is boyish. He doesn't even want a baby sister because he "doesn't want pink in his room". That is his excuse anyway since he'll have to share his room for awhile. Boys!

Now on a flip side though, when his little friends are over, who happen to be all girls in my daycare, he plays dolls with them and that doesn't bother me. He wont play with them if they are not around though. He cares for them and nurtures them and I think it's cute. He'll need pracitce anyway when that baby comes along and I think when it comes to learning to nurture a child, that is a good thing. He'll be a good daddy some day!

C&K*s Mommie replied: I only heard a portion of them, but it seemed to be leaning more towards "let him do it". But that was only handful of calls, as we were not in the car long enough to hear them all. And I forgot to turn on the radio when I came back to the house. Males were definately siding with the father. Females seemed to be siding with the mother.

Two things I left out, by accident, and Crysalina picked up on one of the points.
~The son would be made fun of later in life because of photos being taken, or that is what the father predicted. So to save the son ridicule later, he said On the flip side, the father would not want his (the father's friends) to know about this, because of the ridicule he would get from his friends.
~The mother essentially said she did not want to make her son unhappy, and not to make waves with the boy because it was his decision (a 3 y/o making decisions mind you ).

I feel like 1) it may be my child's choice, and I will let them have their say- but Chris & I will make the final decision. Making waves or not, we are the parents here. 2) As pointed out, it is merely a costume, not a life altering decision. 3) Chris would not go for it, and I would respect his decision and would side with him, even though if it were just me making a decision alone I would let them do it- just for fun.

A&A'smommy replied: okay unless the 3yr old is REALLY showing major desire to be then maybe but if not I would encourage him to be something else, around the house, to grandma's house it totally different than taking him around the neighborhood in a cinderella costume

TANNER'S MOM replied: Tanner has wore my dress before..but only cause I paid him and he wanted the $5.00 and I promised with my fingers crossed not to show anyone the pictures but he wouldn't go out in public..lol

He stuffed his shirt and made a humm chest for himself too and I got pics of that.. so now that I am thinking maybe he isn't as manly as I though..lol

A&A'smommy replied:
I use to dress my brother up and my dad told me not to and would get mad at me everytime I did I thought it was funny!!!

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Me too. I never took pictures though for future blackmail! Drats!

Kaitlin'smom replied: I have a picture of my nephew who just turned 18 today in his moms old dance costume when he was 3 I think, He asked to put it on, I said sure. Then my other sister took the picture. No way did that ever change him.

My3LilMonkeys replied: I would let him no problem. DH probably wouldn't like it though.

Cece00 replied: I seriously doubt I would allow that...I would first off discourage it & encourage ANY other appropriate costume. Even if I did want to give in to my kid in the end it still would never happen b/c my DH would put his foot down about it. Honestly, I believe sometimes you've gotta save kids from themselves. And a great deal of teasing COULD come from that, even from adults. Of course, I come from a family where the men would NEVER dress up as women, so maybe thats why I feel like that.