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Potty Training Question...


mummy2girls wrote: Ok i have a question and i need your oppinions... I have the is one boy( same one where the mom let the boyfriend spank him) who is 2( he turned 2 in may) and we are trying to potty train him. She came to drop him off this morning and she says.. ok we are desperate so anytime he pees in his pull up or poops in it give him a time out. ohmy.gif ohmy.gif ohmy.gif ohmy.gif she said that her and her boyfriend will spank him if he goes pee or poop in the pull up. Is this wrong? does this seem wrong? i refuse to do it. i will not put him in time out for that. No way no how!!!! I dont want him to think im a meany and all negative in this. Ive been doing this for 5 years with my child and other children and i never used negative punishment for potty training...UGH! Being a dayhome rpovider should i though do whats he wants and stick him in time out?he is even started to lash out at the mom and BF because he will get off the potty and poop on the ground or he will look at them say no and poop in the pull up.

bawoodsmall replied: That sounds a little much to me IMO. I do know potty training is not supposed to be a negative thing but praise for when he does get it. Also, the kid just turned 2 right. Most kids get it between 2 and 3 but aren't boys generally harder to train. However, if you really dont feel like you can what she asks you may lose her business. I would almost rather do that if I really felt like it was wrong.

lisar replied: No I dont do the negative, I do the opposite when Raygen does go pee or poop in the potty she gets a treat, if she doesnt go in the potty then she doesnt get a treat. Seems to work for me. But I am not gona spank her or put her in time out when she doesnt do it the way I want her to.

moped replied: I couldn't do it that way personally - at 2 she is starting a whole bunch of things I think - but her choice I suppose.
It could take her years to potty train doing that

Our Lil' Family replied: NO WAY! Thomas was 2 in March and we are JUST NOW starting to work on PT. I am NOT forcing it on him, I refuse, it's wasteful energy. He'll go when he is ready. I personally won't even start to worry until he's 3....but until then, we're just doing it casually. I certainly would NEVER punish for not going in the potty.

grapfruit replied: Where does this woman get her parenting ideas??? How would she ever thinking that punishing him for going in a place he's gone his entire life would help?? Of COURSE it's going to confuse him and just make him act out. Poor kid. What other wacky ideas does this woman have?

mummy2girls replied: I talked to the agency and they said if you dont feel comfotable doing it then dont and approach the mom about it. and say that you dont believe neg inforcement will get him to train faster. that it is a long process and boys are harder. that you will be more than happy to do it the way i always do by positive enforcement through stickers and treats. as a child care consultant she said she would tell me to not do the timeouts.

lisar replied:
Its nice to know the agency agrees with you.

grapfruit replied: I wonder....does this mom seem overwhelmed to you? It almost sounds like being a mom is "too much" for her or something. Maybe the boyfriend's influence is, how shall we say, not good.

Granted, we are only hearing the snips of what you can/have told us, but it almost sounds like one of those moms that will "do" something to be able to stay w/the bf. sleep.gif I really really hope that's not true. I'd really keep an eye on him though. B/c really they're a hairs breath away from neglect or out and out abuse. The road they're on is going to lead to the boy acting out (you know that) and it sounds like they can't deal w/that...and if they do, it's not in a "nice" manner. I think these may be warning signs, what's your gut say?

boyohboyohboy replied: not to sound out of line here, we are a family that does spank, but this sounds way out of line. i mean she is spanking him for everything. it sounds like all they do is hit him.
so do you think you should contact someone to check on this little boy at home?

jake is just turning two and he is only slightly interested in the potty, i cant imagine spanking him for not going in the potty...and i cant imagine how many times a day you would end up spanking if you did that..that poor boy.

grapfruit replied: I just wanted to add that I don't completely disagree w/spanking. There is definatly a time and place IMO. I personally didn't get spanked but maybe once in my life, Tim on the other hand, didn't get it enough emlaugh.gif I think all things in moderation works here too...

BUT that being said, spanking for going potty in his pants/pull ups at 2 very much out of line.

mummy2girls replied:
I know people spank and yes even though i dont agree with it it doesnt mean im goign to flame the ones that do and im sure you dont flame either... i agree the spanking for the potty thing is uncalled for.. he is regressing already:(

My2Beauties replied: This woman sounds way out of line if you ask me. I think I'd be making a call to CPS but that's just MHO. I mean if she's letting the BF of 4 weeks bathe and spank him and now she's spanking and doing time out for PT'ing...what else is she spanking him for that 2 year olds just already do because they are 2..gimme a break. PT is supposed to be a positive process. Hanna never ever got a spankin when PT'ing. I admit that after being PT'd even a year later she has pooped in her pants a few times and I get irritated with her and DH has even said do you want a spanking for it because you just get frustrated BUT...we never did spank her and she's been fine for a really long time now, she hasn't messed up at all. It's all about positive reinforcement.

lovemy2 replied: Ummm yeah I think I would be VERY concerned about how this child is being taken care of - how in the world would you come up with the idea of spanking a child during the PTing process?????


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