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Parents of a Toddler and infant - Stemming from jamison'smoms post


mckayleesmom wrote: Please tell me that Im not the only one that finds myself favoring the infant because the toddler drives you nuts. I feel so bad about it. I don't mean to, but Mckaylee is the most testing little thing I have ever come accross in my hole life. In one second I want to strangle her and then she does something that completely melts my heart, however sometimes I find myself counting down the minutes till bedtime.

As I was writing this she was behind me ..I turn around and she has ripped up half of her scrapbook...nice eh?

amynicole21 replied: I've got to say that I am finding myself doing this, too... Nora just can't protest and sleeps 20+ hours a day. She's the perfect child in comparison to her big sis, whom I expect to sprout horns any day now tongue.gif I'm just kidding of course, but I do know exactly what you are saying. blush.gif

mckayleesmom replied: I know...Mckaylee was the perfect baby...so is Russell....Im going to have a nervous breakdown when he turns on me in about a year...lol

kit_kats_mom replied: Sort of. I really have the issue of Lauren being so easy that I kind of forget about her while I tend to K's never-ending list of needs. sad.gif Thing is, Lauren's perfectly content to lie on the floor, roll around and chew on her feet. She NEVER protests. I feel bad about that so I always spend awhile cuddling and playing with her on our bed before we go to sleep. I think with two or more, it's always a juggling act. I've been really lucky with L's dispostion allowing me to give K almost the same amount of attention that I used too. It's really cut out the sibling rilveraly that I anticipated. tongue.gif

mummy2girls replied: k you all are scareing me! I dont know if i want another being that if me and grant are together and get married... 2 2year olds and then a newborn... scraey

Jamison'smama replied: You are not the only one --I think I may do it more so because DH responds to and plays with Jamison more at this point and Jack is all mine--and he is an EASY baby!!

mummy2girls replied:
well I think i may get just drunk enough to get pregnant again! LOL... Grant wants another one inhis future as well. and i also... so we will see what life brings us...LOL

3_call_me_mama replied: DH actually said the exact same ting tonight. He felt bad for scolding Cameron adn stated, "I knida feel bad cause i favor Kathleen" and he does! Mostly cause she is so easy going, and cameron also could sprout horns. He really can be a handful, but i think it is mostly becasue he is bored. But he definately is more demanding than Kathleen. And, I'm glad she's easy going cause then Cameron can still get teh attention he needs.

coasterqueen replied: Well I do but I'm not sure if it's because I want to or have to. With Megan's reflux and crying often i am the only one to tend to those needs. But lately Megan has been smiling a lot and I'd much rather be with her than Kylie, especially when she's whining. But then again Megan was really trying me today and so Kylie and I took off twice for about an hour each time today while Megan napped with Daddy. It was fun and nice to get away with her alone.

TeagansMom609 replied: See thats what im scared of. We are having another baby in January, and Teagan seems to be such a handful now, I keep thinking I must be insane to have them so close in age. I dont know how im going to do it! How do you give equal attention? unsure.gif

mckayleesmom replied: I give each one attention when the other naps. Also I really really involve the older one with playing with the younger one too..McKaylee is like Russells second mom. I think I have a third child too...this computer...lol rolling_smile.gif

maestra replied: I haven't been able to be on much lately for this very reason. Jaci spends all day and all night testing us, and Giselle is the easiest baby I have ever met. She was sleeping through the night (like 8 hours!) at 3 months. Jaci, at almost 3, still doesn't always do that. And Jaci keeps getting her days and nights reversed.

On Mother's day, in a restaurant, Jaci was throwing a fit about wanting to play under the table. We wouldn't let her, so she screamed. So I took her outside, while dh had Giselle, and talked to her. She calmed down, then I took her back in. Well, she started up again, so dh took her out to the car. As I'm sitting there trying to eat one bite of my food, a woman stops about 30 feet from me and says "Excuse me, happy mother's day. You are a terrible parent and need some parenting classes so that you can get a handle on that kid." Nice, huh?

I use time outs (which for us is putting her in her room) and try to talk to her after 2 minutes. If she won't stop and talk to me, she goes back in for another 2. It works pretty well, but she loves to scream whenever she doesn't get what she wants, even though we don't give in to her.

So basically, we're frustrated too, and can totally relate. bawling.gif

Josie83 replied: That scares me so mch too! obviously we only have Cassie and she's such a good girl, but I would worry if we had another one how to deal with two . . and all these stories are not helping Jason's case for number two!! laugh.gif Man alive . . . xx

ian'smommy replied: I obviously haven't had to experience this but I have wondered about it in the past. I know a woman who had a baby a year ago when he son was just a year old himself. I thought, wow. She is a brave woman. biggrin.gif I asked her one day if it was hard having 2 and she told me that sometimes it was, but she found a way to make it better for herself. It may have something to do with the temperment with both the kids, but who knows. She told me that she tries to spend a good amount of time with both of, either together, or one at a time. If her son wants attention while she is nursing or whatever, she tells him that he needs to wait because his sister needs her right now. She also tells him that she will play with him when she is done. And to make him feel just as important, when she is playing with him and the baby cries, she looks at her and says, "you have to wait, I'm playing with your brother right now." Obviously she doesn't understnad this and continues to cry, but her son is understanding that it's just as important to her to spend time with him too, and that she isn't going to forget about him when his sister cries. She said it has helped tremendously. When I have another baby I am definitely going to be using that method and see what happens. I really liked the idea.

My2Beauties replied:
Hmmm she's a good one because I couldn't sit there and let a baby cry, most of the time they do it because they need something! But go with what works!

Obviously I don't have two little ones, I do have a step-daughter but it's easier in that she doesn't live with us, so when she is there she loves to watch her baby sister, she is also 9, far from a toddler! But I think that what you are feeling is completely normal, even with one there are nights when I count down to Hanna's bedtime, I absolutely cannot wait for her to go to bed! She is turning into a little terror. She grabs everything, tears up everything, pulls her toys out and throws them everywhere, only to leave them laying there 1 minute later because she is moving onto something else, constantly has to drink anything I'm drinking, OMG if I have a Pepsi can I swear her claws come out, the child goes nuts until I give her a sip, she runs to the refrigerator screaming Cheetos (even though it's a pickle she wants) rolleyes.gif don't know where she got the word Cheetoh from, so I could only imagine having a toddler and little one to tend to! I'm sure what you are feeling is totally normal!

TANNER'S MOM replied: Well, it has been years since I was here. But I do remember it well. And believe me it gets harder.

My other kids are older and more independant, they don't need me. But Tanner does. They go back and forth between there father and me...It's just different.

But he is the baby. No matter what the baby is different in a good and bad way.

My older kids say this..Oh give Tanner his way..BECAUSE HE"S THE BABY..in that yucky voice w/ there hands on there hips.

But you know what.. he is never ashamed of me, and likes to hear me talk.

So when he is ashamed of me it will break my heart.

My kids are all 5 years apart..one was in school when I had the other one..and thats not the way to go either..One in high school and one in 2nd w/ nothing in common but me!.. It doesnt' always work..and I may well never get them all raised!

MommyXsTwo replied: Sometimes I feel that way, too. When my son couldnt walk and run away and do things, thats the way I would feel. Now, they both act that way, but they are with their daddy right now and I miss them to death!!!!

Good luck!

chloe&tysmommy replied: I find this happens with us too bawling.gif I try to give equal attention to both but it's so hard obviously because Tyler is still so small and he needs me more..but as he's getting older he's starting to play with the same things Chloe does which is good!

Chloe is a fairly easy toddler most days but when she's having a bad day LOOK OUT tongue.gif

I always think to myself that it's not fair for Chloe to have to be second best all the time..so I try my hardest most days to spend quality time with her... and when daddy comes in, he gives her his full attention (daddy's little girl wub.gif )

It's definitely hard having kids so close in age but she loves her baby brother so much, and he always has the biggest smile when she comes into his room when he gets up, that I wouldn't wish it was any other way wub.gif

so there are good things about having more than one child, Josie... wink.gif tongue.gif

mama3x replied: I am in the same boat/club. My two are 19 months apart (16 if you want to get technical and adjust for Kyrie's prematurity) and I am having the hardest time doing anything.

I actually don't favor one over the other all the time. For example, at bedtime I favor Kyrie because she will lie down after DH or I put her in the crib and go off to sleep 6 out of 7 nights a week. Dallas on the other hand seems to be having a difficult time at bedtime the past 3 nights and wakes every few hours.

But I feel the same as Karen, I have to be more attentive to my high needs Dallas even if it means letting my high maintenance toddler destroy things. All the books say to tend to the older child because the infant will not remember being put aside momentarily. That's good advice for people who can listen and bear the infant crying, I can't! Dallas has been smiling a lot lately too and it's easier to respond to that than Kyrie's whining.

If either were easier and more mellow, I think I would be less frustrated with it all. Unfortunately neither are "easy" kids...




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