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Only children - anybody?


moped wrote: Are there any only children (parents or kids) and I was hoping someone could tell me some pros and cons.

I am not sure I want Jack to be an only child, but I am not sure.......

Thoughts anyone?

ediep replied: well, I am not an ony child, but I know a lot of adults that are and they are fine. I am not sure if I want any more kids right now, so Jason might be an only child

Kaitlin'smom replied: I married and only child, whoes mom is also an only child....so I am a bit interested for personal points of veiw.

let me think about it and get back to you on what I see as pros and cons

moped replied:
Thank you................I just have been thinking about another lately, but not right now, but also DH isn't sold on the idea. I need some faacts for him to argue

kit_kats_mom replied: I'm an only.

Pro's: tons of attention from parents
more money available for extracirricular activities, clothes etc.

Cons: no close family when my mom dies
no cousins or aunts/uncles for my kids
I still don't share very well because I never had too as a kid wink.gif
I felt like I didn't have any peer close enough to talk about things as a teen. A sister or brother would have been nice.

Finally, we moved a lot when I was young (about once a year for the first 14 years) and having a built in friend would have been nice.

one other thing. As an only, my mom did not make a point to get me involved in Kids stuff. I was basically around adults my whole life & rarely interacted with other kids outside of school. While that gave me a super vocabulary, it didn't do so much for my social skills. I never did play well with others. LOL

Josie83 replied: OKay I swear I just replied to this but it hasn't come up! dry.gif Hate it when that heppanes. I'll quickly redo it . . .

At the minute Cassie's an only child, and even though JAson's been pestering me for the past years to have number two rolleyes.gif if I've got anything to do with it, she'll be an only child for a while yet!

As far as I can see, as an only child Cassie's doing fine, she has a lot of regular contact with her many cousins who she plays beautifully with and has no problem sharing things with wink.gif wub.gif She's also used to being around adults so she's pretty comfrotbale in the presence of either. She gets a lot of our attention but she's still good with other children.

I would say that there are advantages and disadvantages to both. I have two brothers and two sisters, and Jason's got three brothers, which we like. Although I have to admit growing up in such a big family, I sometimes wished there weren't so many of us! blush.gif xx

Kaitlin'smom replied: what I see as being married to one is


Pro-lots of attention
more money for them
no fighting for things
no sibling drama

con-no sibling to be close to
a bit on the spoiled side (in this case)
no aunts/uncles on his side for our child to possibly have cousins
relied on more to help 9but this can also be a pro)
wont have any family left once they pass away

I am sure there are more....

Alice replied: I am from a large family (2nd oldest of 5) and I would have as many if we could afford it and if I hadn't waited until I was 40 to start ohmy.gif As it is, we have 3.

And this is not speaking AGAINST anyone else's choices, only presenting my point of view, OK?

My brother and sister and I have so much history. My kids clamor for stories of the time Uncle Steve cut kindergarten (to "shop" at Trainland) or the time Aunt Jeanne and Aunt Eileen collided on their motorcycles and ended up in the ER, or the time there was a fire in the basement and Aunt Eileen, who was babysitting, called for water and I brought her a glass. (she never mentioned the word "fire" ohmy.gif ) The history of my childhood is now part of my kids' lives.

ANd all the Christmas Eves when Eileen and I would swear that we would wake up whichever of us fell asleep first, so we could see SAnta.

Right now, each of us is chipping in $500 for a 75th birthday party for Mom in October. My $500 alone wouldn't buy much.

My dad died 2 years ago, 2 weeks before Kira was born, after a long bout with cancer. My family (and their families) are what kept us all out of the looney bin. One would stay with dad while another took mom to her own doctor (she was in and out of the hospital during that time with a liver infection.) Jeanne still lives at home, and Peggy lives across town, I'm home all day (SAHM), Eileen and Steve each took time off so they could help out. Even the small things-- the comic relief from my kids and my nieces and nephews-- made a huge difference.

Several years ago, my brother was on strike for an extended period. His kids were little and Christmas was approaching. You would not believe the number of toys his kids got "from Santa" that year-- we each picked up a few, and when you multiply that by all of us, it added up.

The point to all my ramblings is that my family has enriched my life in thousands of tiny little ways to numerous to count. Sure, we've had our arguments, and not all families are as close as ours. But there's not enough money on earth to replace all the riches these semi-sane people have added to my life.

moped replied:
Sweet story - that helps a ton!

iluvmysweetiepies replied:

wink.gif ITA

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I'm not putting down anyone's choice to have only one child, nor people out there that are only children...but I'm going to say I love having a sister...you can have tons of girlfriends or your SO, but I will admit, I haven't found anyone I have more history with than my big sis! It's fun to laugh at our past...she's the only one who has the true insight into our family, my mom's quirks, why we are the way we are, etc. And having her as a role model has helped me be a better mom. wub.gif

kayla's mama replied: both DH and I are only children.

For the both of us it seemed like we grew up to fast cause we were always around adults. Know Kayla does not have any aunts or uncles or any cousins.

Ya'll will know when the time is right!!!!!

Maddie&EthansMom replied: SCotty wanted Maddie to be an only child. The day I changed my mind on that was the day I heard her talking to the neighborhood kids thru the fence saying "Come play with me" bawling.gif It broke my heart. I was pregnant in a few short months. wink.gif I could never imagine having an only child. Maddie and Ethan adore each other and watching them play together just melts my innermost being. They will always have each other. It is so magical.

I was not an only child, nor was Scotty. Whether Scotty wants to admit it or not, he has a lot of history with his sister and they have their inside jokes. The same with me and my brothers. There is absolutely nothing like that bond. My brothers are not well. They have horrible addictions, but I love them anyway and when we are together I can put that aside and have a great time with them. They are generally just hurting themselves. That's another story for another time. wink.gif

It is definetly something to think about and consider. We waited until Maddie was close to 4 before we had another one. In our case it was a wise decision. I thoroughly enjoyed those first 4 years of it being 'just us'. Lots of memories there. wub.gif I hope one day she thanks us for 'giving her Ethan.' They are so precious. wub.gif

moped replied: Oh Aimee, that is a wonderful post! Thankyou

I will start arguing...........I am thinking when Jack is around 2 I would like another.......not NOW!

My2Beauties replied: I was an only child. There are definitely pros and cons. The pros include being absolutely spoiled rotten wink.gif , having more money for extracurricular activites, getting more for Christmas, birthdays, etc..The cons were that I was bored at times and lonely. However my parents always encouraged me to have friends over and for me to stay over with friends. I was always with a friend especially in the summertime. It was like having a sister. I have a half-brother (dad's son) but I never lived with him so it was like being an only child and he is much older than me. I dont' have much insight, I am still undecided on another, well I should say "we" are undecided, I am almost positive I want another when Hanna is around 2 maybe 3, but Brian is still unsure, as he already has 2! Hanna has a sister - yes- but they are 8 years apart, two totally different spots in life right now. Desiree won't have time for her baby sister when she is older, I know she won't, so that is why I want him to consider another little one! But whatever you choose Jack will be fine, us only children are not brats or anything! wink.gif Seriously, that wink wasn't meant jokingly laugh.gif LOL!

TANNER'S MOM replied: Oh Jen! I clicked on this to answer and I got to busy yesterday..

But I want you to know that I am an only child. My father raised me, never remarried until I was 25 or 26.

I never really knew what I missed out on.. of course my room was my room. And my clothes was mine. I had to read alot b/c no one was there to play with me. had an imaginary friend " Sabrina' until I was really too old to have her. But I never knew what I was missing...

Until I met my Ex DH and my Dh now. Man...as adults they have such a bond. They all live close together in distance so that makes it easier. But I see him the bond he has w/ his sister and it's so intimate at times that I used to get jealous b/c I couldn't understand that kind of bond and love. You know it is really neat for them as adults. You can tell they are really close and are from the same family. Little things in them both..the honesty.. He can sit by his sister on the couch and she can look at him and say Bud tell me whats wrong..just by the look in his eye. She can also tell him when he is a BIG JERK..and he takes it from her way better.
The love they share is amazing.. My ex DH was one of 8. Now that was a circus someone always fighting and always buying a birthday present for someone!
But it too was neat.

Now I shared the adult side.. a side I don't have!

But my kids ...all of them amaze me also! The closeness is so beautiful. Oh they fight..it can get bad. But you know they are their own force. We are the FAMILY..and no one messes with this family. You touch my brother and its on..and they same with my sister.

It seems at this stage mine are in..it's the quite moments of love between them that take you to your knees sometimes..to realize you helped create this bond of love between a family. When you wake up to go and get a child out of bed..and can't find them.. look and he is in bed spooning w/ his sister hands in her hair.

When one of them gives the other the last popicle.. you know you did good. Or when one is doing bad in school...and the other lifts that person up peer to peer in a way they can really understand.

Quite moments of studying or watchign TV...first kisses shared or talked about late at nite in the middle of summer with the window up ( my girls)!
Cheers when Tanner rides and cries when he got hang up! Cheers when Justin won the tournment and sadnes when he still failed the test he studied so hard for. It is awesome to watch for me.

I tell them you have each other for the rest of your lives..no matter what Brittany, Tiffany, Justin and Tanner will always be brother and sisters..No matter what they choose in life..no matter how mad they get. No matter who stole whose lipstick..they are still blood. And in time they will raise children together and share the special moments of life with someone they have been with since the beginning of there own time..to me that a great thing!

You know I miss something as an adult that I never knew was possible. That bond is deep and amazing to watch blossom. Oh I made it fine as an only child.. I did have moments of lonileness and I did have moments of being spoiled..
But heck yeah I would take a brother or sister today!

ions_momma replied: DH and I both have siblings and we definatly want Ion to have at least one brother or sister. We have decided to wait until DH is done with college though because it will be easier with him out of school to raise another child. Also since he plays basketball October through March he is hardly ever home so that makes it alot more difficult to have children!

luvbug00 replied: I Have 2 brothers. I only know one because he was the one adopted with me. Even thought there are days I want to ring his neck we also come together at our neediest hours. He watches over me and when I feel lost he's there. Our bond is tighter since we are the only people connected by blood in our house ( before Mya ) But Like I was saying we have our own games, secrets and a bond that is unreplacable and without him my life would be a lonely one. Jen I'm sure Jack would be an awsome big brother but he is wonderful by himself as well! wink.gif

Alice replied: Mel,

Print that up and save it for when they get engaged. It was beautiful!!

moped replied: HOLY Mel - that was also a great story!!!!!!!!

You guys have made me really think hard about this issue and now I need to decide what is best for Tom and Jack.....Tom is going on 46 and Jack needs a brother or sister...........................Charlie or Sloan! Already have names

Josie83 replied: Goodness me, Mel, what are you trying to do? get me pregnant? laugh.gif wink.gif xx

stanleygirl replied: I was an only child for 6 years, and then my mom met a man w/ 4 kids. I personally think a big family is great, but no harm done if a family chooses to have only one child. If a second child will create too mcuh stress financially or in the marriage, then one may be the way to go for some ppl. Personally I would have loved to have stayed an only child, but I also love my step brothers, so I see both sides, kwim?

TANNER'S MOM replied:
Josie! If I get you pregnant we will be RICH my dear I tell you RICH!

That was too funny!

Josie83 replied:
rolling_smile.gif Very true!! I meant by proxy, but hey, in this day and age who knows! laugh.gif rolling_smile.gif xx

coasterqueen replied: I have one sister. I wish I had more siblings. tongue.gif I was an only child for almost 6 years before my parents had another child. To me there are not only pros and cons on having more children but how far apart they are. But that's another topic.

I love having a sister even if we aren't close. We hold on to each other when things get really rough, especially with parental health issues and we get to reminisce on old good times. Who would I do that with if I had no one to share them with in the first place? I couldn't imagine not having a sibling, like I said, even if we aren't close anymore. BTW, we aren't close because of our age difference, not any other reason than that.

Who would I lean on when my parents pass on or share the rest of my life with? Sure I have a husband and lots of aunts/uncles but having that sibling to be there for you is priceless.

What if I was to pass on tomorrow? Who would tell my children what I was like as a kid or how I did this or that when I was growing up? That makes me cry to think of all the things my children won't know about if and when I'm gone.

My cousin was an only child til she was in her teens and hated it. Sure she was spoiled and got the best of everything material wise and finacial wise but what she wanted more in the world was a sibling to share things with. Her mother finally remarried and had another baby and for her even though they are far apart in age she loves her little brother so much.


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