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Ok very bad day for me - About abortion...Long thanks for reading

Insanemomof3 wrote: Ok, most of you know, I had 2 abortions in my early 20's. I had them ONLY because if I didn't I was going to die. The hardest choices I EVER had to make. I had infections in my uterus, no one knew how or why, just that I wouldn't make it if I stayed pregnant. The second time I did it, I had to walk by picketers, with horrid pics on their signs, for years I had nightmares about them.

Fast forward to today. I logged into FB this morning after I got off work. My normal daily ritual before I go to bed. I log in and there is an abortion pic (and poll). A "friend" of mine had voted and then a serious of arguments broke out. I told my story and was told that it was ok, I made mistakes and God forgives me. It was a mistake that I chose to live? Ok, fine. Then my mom (adopted), one that has been not so good to me over the years posted this about my post....

"your slippery slope" is what got us where we are now. And justifying killing a baby, for any reason, is just part of that "slippery slope". There are way too many people that use "issues" as an excuse to commit homicide.

Wow, I guess I am a murderer. I have been so upset today. I didn't want to lose my babies, but it was either both of us die, or just one. Did I make the wrong choice? No. My boys would not be here today if it wasn't for that choice. GRRRRRRRRRRR So now, I deleted all those people off my FB so I don't need to deal with the crap. My mom (that I always talk about) stood by me through the whole thing years ago, I asked her today why she did since she is pro-life. She said "Because you are my daughter and I love you. I didn't want to lose you." Guess I know who needs to be in my life and who doesn't.

I just can't believe that the people who actually adopted me would tell me I should have died.

My3LilMonkeys replied: hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif

PrairieMom replied: hug.gif

bluebear replied: hug.gif You don't need fake friends. hug.gif

Kentuckychick replied: hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif

I hate those facebook polls! There was one a while back about abortion that asked whether or not it was "Morally wrong and should be made illeagal" and of course, as always happens, there was a big debate started between people.

I finally just said that moral issues are not black and white. They are different for every culture, every religion and most importantly for every individual. I said that there is not one person who can stand ground and say that they would never ever have an abortion regardless of the circumstance because quite frankly until you are faced with that exact circumstance, you will never ever know. And then I said that it didn't matter anyway because our government is not designed to decide what is "morally" right, it is designed to decide what is "legally" right.

Amazingly not one person had an argument for my statement (not that people didn't continue to voice there views), but no one would come out and say I was wrong.

You did what you felt at the time you had to do... and what many of those women, given the circumstance likely would have also done (though they can easily say now that they wouldn't have).

I'm so sorry that you had to go through that!

MommyToAshley replied: hug.gif hug.gif I'm so sorry for what you went through years ago and for what happened yesterday. hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif

Thank you for sharing your story with us and trusting us not to be judgemental. This day may have been hurtful to you, especially to hear comments like that from soneone you trust. But, just remember that you are strong, a wonderful Mom, and you have so many that love you.

cameragirl21 replied: hug.gif I'm so sorry all of this happened to you, Denise.
I know my opinion won't be popular around here so I'll just keep it short and say that I don't believe you did anything wrong and don't think you have anything to feel guilty about.
Take care.

Insanemomof3 replied: Thank you guys. You are always great for me to "talk" to. I have made MANY mistakes as a mom, and I am paying for them DEARLY now. But, I am not perfect, no one is. One girl even told me that what I did was a mistake and I would be forgiven. I just keep thinking, how is me choosing to not end my life a mistake? No matter what, those babies would have died, whether I lived or not. I was no more than 3 months along. They couldn't save the babies, so I saved myself. Grrrr, some people just don't get it. dry.gif

CantWait replied: hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif

jcc64 replied: What Dee Dee said. hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif

Danalana replied: It's no secret that I am Pro-Life...everybody knows that.
That said, the decision you made was one that I think A LOT of people would have made, had they been faced with it. Would I have made the same decision? I don't know. Honestly, I very well might have. It would have been heart-breaking, as I know it was for you. I don't think you were selfish, and I don't think I would have made the same decision out of selfish motives either.
As Pro-Life as I am, it makes me so angry that people picket with those signs and pretty much showing hate for people...some who are making impossible decisions. I know there are some who are being totally selfish, and I do believe that is absolutely wrong. But I do believe there are instances when hard decisions have to be made. Denise, I don't think for one second that you wanted to abort your babies, but I know there is a tremendous amount of guilt that goes along with abortion. I think that's something people don't understand when they have them. Anyway, I'm sorry some people have treated you badly and made you feel like you were being selfish. It's a terrible decision to have to make.

Crystalina replied: I think you did the right thing by deleting them. It's not their life so tell them to shut it. I guess I never will understand why some people (on both sides of this) like to think that their way of thinking is the *right* way and that anyone gives a flying monkey what they think. Don't let it bother you. Delete and move on. You don't need that. IMO, (and I'm 100% pro-choice for the record) if you feel like you thought everything through, and it was to save your life, and you can live with it then you did the right thing. I hate to bring God into it (here especially happy.gif ) but I believe that God knows why people do things. If it were done "just because" then that's one thing ( I still support it but I would never "just because") and the person will have to answer one day.
Don't let it bother you. hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif
Some people just LOVE the drama.

Bamamom replied: What an incredibly hard decision - my heart breaks for you that you had to make it. I'm with Dana - I don't know what I would have done in that situation but very well might have made the same decision. So many pro-lifers go about things the wrong way. I too am very pro-life but I think the people protesting outside abortion clinics have it all wrong. I think too often we want to focus so much on the sin of abortion that we forget about the sin that got most of the folks in that situation there - premarital sex. Not saying that was your situation - I don't know - I'm just saying that alot of people want to jump on women who are having abortions without looking in their own lifes or the lives of their children to see what led to a situation where a choice about abortion is forced. Now before I get jumped on - yes I had premarital sex. I just hope I can help my kids see how "little sins" can lead to really tough decisions.

I'll be thinking of you and praying for a peace-filled heart. Know that what you did is in your past - you can't change it - you can only move forward. And all of us have rotten stuff in our past - so no one should judge. hug.gif

Insanemomof3 replied: Funny thing is, before I had to do that I was very pro-life. Now I am on the fence. If someone uses it as a form of birth control, then I feel that is VERY wrong. But in my case, well, there was no choice really. Like I said, i was not very far along, my doc gave me ONE week to live with how fast the infection was spreading. Had I not done it, and the babies were born and I died, they would not have been able to save the babies anyway. So basically I felt I would be dying for nothing.

That said, I have at times felt (due to the guilt part) that I SHOULD have died, then I wouldn't have to live with the memories of it. But that is where my selfishness comes in. I did what I felt I needed to at the time, and later on had 2 more boys who never would have been here had I not made the decision I did.

I do believe that everything happens for a reason, and God doesn't give you more than you can handle, but lately my plate is getting full and I just want to scream.

luvmykids replied: We've all done things, out of necessity or not, that we wish we hadn't or hadn't HAD to. hug.gif hug.gif I think your situation is one where most people can't say what they would have done, without having been in your shoes it's nearly impossible to know. But even aside from that, you know as a Christian that it's between you and God and you also know if you've asked, He's forgiven you. Forgive yourself and don't let others erode that. hug.gif hug.gif

Des10ed2b replied: wow. that is awful. i am not a person that is really one for abortions. i used to consider myself a prolifer, but as i got older i came to realize that there are situations (like yours) where it is a MUST. i think it is really unfair that someone would treat you like that! it isnt like you used it as a form of birth control!

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