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Ok, I have another "hypothetical" - about feedings....

grapfruit wrote: Ok, if your "hypothetical" baby is say 4 months old today, and isn't sick. When it's feeding time, and they cry that they're hungry. Do you feed them Pedalite instead of formula? Like in case they're going to "refuse" the formula or something?

Remember, this hypothetical baby isn't vomiting and doesn't have diahara and is eating ok.

Our Lil' Family replied: Um, no. If there is nothing to make me believe he will refuse the formula, then there's no reason not to give it to him. wacko.gif

Calimama replied: Absolutely not.

DillsMommy replied: no way. Formula (or breastmilk) should be the main source of nourishment for a 4 month old baby.

grapfruit replied: Now, what worrys me about this hypothetical situation, is will this cause this hypothetical baby to fail to thrive?

Ok, I'm asking, for real. What the heck do you do?? Leave it alone and watch him possible not develop the way he should? Could that happen? Could him not getting the correct amount of formula stunt his brain developement, and growth in general? Do I say something to her? Call her doctor? Call Children's Services?

What would YOU do? Keep your mouth shut and turn the other way????

Children's services has already been to their house once for a different matter. If they take him out of the house, where does he go?

Help bawling.gif

DillsMommy replied: Yes, it could harm him. Formula is supposed to have everything a baby needs to grow, develop and survive. I could not just "keep quiet" but I'm not really sure who you could contact.

PrairieMom replied: Not knowing everything about the situation, it would be hard for me to say what to do. Calling child services is big deal stuff ya know?
Assuming that everything else is okay, for example, the child is clean, dressed appropriately, not showing signs of physical abuse, and that the mom is showing signs of properly caring for the child, like, the kid is in a rear facing bucket seat and things like that, and that the child seems to be developing normally, like is getting muscle tone, and starting to meet milestones, and isn't overly small, then I wouldn't really worry to much about it. I am guessing tho that this isn't the case. unsure.gif
I am not a feeding expert, but I will say that Baby's brains need a lot of fat to develop properly, and they need a lot of calories, and have delicate electrolyte balances that need to be kept in check, and pedialyte isn't intended to be a dietary supplement. baby's need their formula.
If your gut is telling you to do something, then I would listen to it.

mommy~to~a~bunch replied: Wow, yikes, ummm...yeah the baby should be getting ONLY breastmilk (the BEST) or formula for the first 6 months. There is NO nutrition in Pedialyte, and if a baby only drinks that, it COULD cause developmental harm if done long enough.

DEFINITELY say something to the parents. If they ignore you, I'd call Child Protective Services. They are denying that baby the basics it needs to survive (FOOD). A baby that young could get malnourished really fast.

I believe if the child is removed from the home they place him/her with a foster family. I'm not totally sure though.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: Well I feel it depends on who or how the person is related to you. I would never say anything to someone who wasn't a close friend or relative. That's just me, but I agree with Tara....If you see the child is not in any physical harm and the child is thriving in other areas, then I wouldn't step in.

Are you sure it's not Pediasure? Not saying this is better than BM or formula, but just curious if you got the two mixed up. Sometimes this is used as a supplement if the child can't take anything else.

grapfruit replied:
Ok, you guys are making me freak out (which is fine I guess, if I should be a little freaked out).

She did try to breast feed when he was born, but he wouldn't latch on. So now he's on formula.

I'd say he IS a bit small. Smaller then I remember Alyx being at that age. His head is small and limbs are skinny. He's not "chunky" if that makes sense. I suppose some babies just aren't right? Like his neck and stuff is real skinny.

I'm not around her enough (pretty much by choice b/c she drives me up the wall) to know how often she baths him, if he is changed regularly etc. Maybe I should start??

I know that when I took her to his surgen she had to give him a wet wipe "bath" in the car b/c in the 3 weeks since he had his surgery she hadn't really bathed him. She may of bathed him "down there" but that's it. He had food crusties on his head. sad.gif

I know calling CPS is a big deal, which is why I haven't. (Even if somebody else already has). Plus I don't want to call all sorts of drama in the family. KWIM? I will if it becomes necessary though.

What should a JUST 4 month old be able to do?

Just as an aside. Her brother was taught to CRAWL at like 18 months old by the YMCA day care b/c he was never taken out of his pumpkin seat or swing. I know this b/c it was a friend that taught him to crawl and did call CPS on her mom. sad.gif

Oh, and that reminds me. She's been having him sleep exclusively in a pumpkin seat (she has a crib and a pack n play). Is that bad?

grapfruit replied:
Is Pedisure light colored and "fruity"?? B/c whatever she's giving him is like "juice" almost.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I don't know what a pumpkin seat is. huh.gif Well from what you just wrote, that does seem pretty scary, but again, I would have a really hard time stepping in if it wasn't someone close to me. It's not that I don't care, but I'm not one to get into other people's business if they aren't you know, close. But is there someone else in the family you can talk to? Maybe someone else can do the talking or call CS.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied:
Nope, you were right then. Pedalyte is fruity looking and Pediasure is milky looking, like a shake. Ewwww. I feel so sorry for that baby. And YOU! Tough situation. hug.gif

PrairieMom replied:
no that does sound like pedialyte.
I don't know what a pumpkin seat is. There could actually be good reasons for a baby to be sleeping upright tho, like having reflux or something. And what kind of surgery did he have? 3 weeks is a looooong time to not bath a child.
Can you contact social services anonymously? Really, being in a foster situation may not be that bad if his home experience is that horrible. And maybe they won't remove the child, maybe they will just make the mom take parenting classes or something? maybe she just needs to be educated a bit.

mommy~to~a~bunch replied: I don't know what a pumpkin seat is, but if it's like a stationary seat thing or swing, that can't be good for him to sleep in.

Here's a link on milestones for a 4-month old: .

Keeping track of everything is a great idea. Get a notebook or something to write the date & what happened/what you saw in it. Just don't let the mom find it. If the need to call CPS arises, you'll have proof to get those kids help.

grapfruit replied:
Like the detachable car seat. Does that make more sense?

Oh, and there's nobody really "close" to her. She has a rotten family where 1/2 of them have had their kids taken away. Her mom had like 5 or 6 kids and she has custody of none of them. Most are in different states. And "she" is my "almost SIL". Tim's youngest brother's baby's mama. (I'd say fiance, b/c they ARE engaged, but he keeps pushing back the wedding date (by years) b/c they don't get along).

It IS scary. I have no proof, but feel in my gut that the reason he's as sick w/RSV as he is b/c she didn't do what the drs told her to. They caught it really quick, but I seriously don't think she was suctioning his nose or anything like that. sleep.gif

mommy~to~a~bunch replied: ohmy.gif Well, with that info, I'd be calling CPS. I wouldn't let that keep going on.

grapfruit replied:
Well they took parenting classes before she had him. But she has a learning disability. You wouldn't really know from talking to her (unless you actually pay attention to the retarded things she's telling you).

I agree that he should be sleeping on an incline (like put a pillow under his mattrace to elevate it) b/c he DOES have reflux. She doesn't feed him sitting up though. Cyndi told her to get the curved bottles and feed him actually sitting up so it doesn't come back up. We'd buy her the bottles if she'd want/use them...

He had the "extra skin" on his head "cut out". He had a birth defect where skin just stopped developing on his head and they didn't think it'd grow hair so they cut the bad part out. It was on the crown of his head. When she asked the surgen after he took the stitches out when she could get it wet. He looked at her funny and said "3 weeks ago when you brought him home you could get it wet"

So really, I think she just is ignorant. Problem is, you talk to her until you're blue in the face and she just continues on her way. She doesn't listen to ANYBODY. I keep telling her to talk to Sharon (our MIL) b/c she's raised 6 kids. She KNOWS what to do. Granted it's been 19 years since she had a baby, but still!!! Instead when they're over there to do laundry they sleep, they don't visit. dry.gif

DillsMommy replied: Sorry your going through this. That's a tough sitiuation to be in. hug.gif

grapfruit replied: Thanks everyone.

I think what I'm going to do is try going over there (to check things out) and TALK to her and be frank, like "Listen, you can't give him that, you have to FEED him." She was feeding him mostly baby food like all last month and when they were at Children's the nurse told her he needed the calories from the formula and not to do that. So maybe, MAYBE she listened.

I don't want to "butt" in or anything, but I don't want to just let it go and something happen to him. bawling.gif I can't tell her how to raise her son, KWIM?

PrairieMom replied:
You have to do what you feel is right for the child regardless. Follow your gut, that will be the right decision. Even if you turn her in, at least you know that you have done something instead of just looking the other way.

My2Beauties replied: As far as the seat, my kids slept in a carseat for months because they had reflux issues, it didn't hurt them in the least bit, then I did a wedge for the next few months and then moved on to the crib. Anyways, as far as everything else....oy ohmy.gif I'm in shock. That baby definitely needs formula and not pedialyte, pedialyte could potentially harm a child if they are given too much especially if they are not dehydrated or have no diarrhea.

mommy~to~a~bunch replied:
There's a big difference in raising a child and abusing/neglecting one, and she is definitely not raising him. I couldn't live with the guilt if he got really sick from being malnourished, so I'd have to really give it to her or call CPS. That might make me a b***h, but I wouldn't care.

austins mom replied: Poor baby. He needs the milk. Pedialite is for temporary use.

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
see that's a toughie.

I didn't really bathe my babies, either, but when they were first born... and that's because their skin was so dry I was told to let it be for a while, just wipe when dirty with a cloth and warm water (from pee, puke etc) and just put moisturizer...

my kids ALL slept in their car seat for pretty much the first 4 months... they wouldn't sleep in their crib, in their bassinet, and the only other place they'd sleep was on our chests.... but my kids all walked early etc, so I know it didn't affect them...

I just re-read it all, and you mention she has a learning disability. Could it be that she just really doesn't know any better, and thinks it's ok because it's advertised as being good for them when they're sick etc? Maybe in her mind, he's sick and needs it?

You need to step in and tell her what she's not doing right... she may not even know. It's a difficult decision... but if it comes down to it... it might be better for the baby to be placed with another home.

MommyToAshley replied: I think the main concern is the substituting pedialyte for formula. I would talk to her first, maybe bring some educational materials. Is there a nurse at the hospital that you can call and have them talk to her. I can't imagine that a Mom would set out to do anything they know to be harmful. It may be as simple as a lack of education and not knowing that she is doing harm to her baby. You said you don't know much about the situation, so maybe the baby is refusing formula and is doign what she thinks is best. A nurse or pediatrician would be able to offer better suggestions. But, I would start out by talkign to the Mom before callign anyone, especially children services. There may be a lot more to the story than what you know.

Kaitlin'smom replied: okay just one question where is the dad in all this? what is he doing to care for the child?

grapfruit replied: Ok, I talked to her last night a bit.

I gently REMINDED her that Pedialyte is not a subsitute for formula. I asked her if she was still offering that instead and she paused and then quickly said "No, of course not". Which makes me think that she was (it was in the way she said it). I just lightly told her, "You know Pedialyte is just to re hydrate right? It doesn't have any of the calories and nutrients he needs to grow. Just make sure you offer him formula." She said she still offers the Pedialyte first if he's "congested" b/c the drs said it's "easier to go down" or something like that. dunno.gif I said ok, but just make sure he's still getting the formula he needs, don't substitute it. She said ok.

Then I asked her about the baby food. She said he's eating about a jar a day. I again reminded her he still needs the nutrients from the formula and that should be his main food right now. And to wait a few days before changing the food (I know she wasn't before b/c she told me so). She said she's waiting about 5 days (had to beat my 3 days I mentioned to her).

So I HOPE she's listening...It concerns me a lot less when she calls and either asks advise or actually listens. It's when she goes weeks and weeks and nobody hears from them that it worries me.

Di, as to the dad (Scott). He's there but doesn't help out much sleep.gif He works nights, so he sleeps pretty much all day. She works at a day care (for now) so Isaiah goes w/her during the day. He says he can't "function" w/o like freaking 10 hrs of sleep :rollseyes: Tim (my bf) tells him to suck it up. tongue.gif I know it irritates his parents too.

I don't know if it's just b/c he's a kid (and a whiny spoiled one at that) and this just overwhelms him greatly or what. He's SOOOO immature. Heck guys, they don't even know how to grocery shop or cook ANYTHING. It's sad. Mostly it's b/c her mom sucked as a mom. (And I actually told her that blush.gif and she agreed) <---there's a long story to that one. REALLY sad...

Anyway, to sum it all up YES, I think it's mostly she doesn't have a clue what to do b/c she's ignorant. Her mom didn't do a good job raising her and her siblings, so how could she have any idea what to do?? I'm amazed all her siblings are still alive. No I'm not, they were all taken away, so her mom didn't actually "raise" them....

Kaitlin'smom replied: and she works at a daycare? which one cause I never want any chlid I know going there.

this is beyond sad.

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