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Now I am posting in 4-7 - Oh someone help me!


moped wrote: Ok, so I know you are all going to laugh and say it never gets better, etc, but seriously.....when does it get better. I mean, Jack doesn't listen intentionally, he will look right at me and do what he KNOWS not to. He has a saucy mouth to me, repeats what I say with an attitude (hard to explain on line), I just don't know how to deal with it anymore. I know the age is bad, but this is crazy!!!!! mad.gif

I throw out toys - this really gets him upset
Time outs - work for certain things
Try talking to him face to face - doesn't work at all...he will just roll his eyes growl.gif
I think I have tried everything

I think I should add that it seems I am forever getting angry with him, I try not to yell at him but OMG LISTEN CHILD.......I am not stressed, but I just wish he could make our days a bit smoother ya know? Today I tried to tell him that if he was a nice boy and listened and was nice to his mommy, then mommy would do nice things for him etc....he replied, mom I honestly just want some fruit gummies for a treat wacko.gif

We get out as much as possible - lately a lot because the weather has been great, but then when I say I have to cook dinner or whatever, he complains that he can't play outside alone....whine whine.......

Kirstenmumof3 replied: hug.gif hug.gif It does get better! I went through this with Emily and she has turned into such a great teenager (okay she's only 13). We had our battles and she didn't like to listen to me. She would scream out her bedroom window when I would give her a time out "CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME!" Very dramatic! It's tough, but somehow you manage to get through it! hug.gif

luvmykids replied: hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif I actually think it does get better, if that helps tongue.gif All mine are at the age now where I can have a reasonable conversation with them and tell them in plainer terms what they're in trouble for and how to avoid it laugh.gif

mom21kid2dogs replied: For us it gets better~kinda. tongue.gif Olivia seems to cycle in and out of this space. Because she's a little older, pulling playing with friends for a week so she can practice being decent to her parents generally works. It was harder when she was Jack's age. I usually pulled the "imaginary" reward from her and that was somewhat successful. Something like "Well, I was just thinking aboout running to Dairy Queen for a special treat but you are so disrespectful we can't go now." I like that it's not a predictable consequence so it really gets her attention. You can easily pull something that you know has value to them so it gets their attention. Because one never knows what mom has up her sleeve in terms of fun (we are prone to just doing something for the fun of it here and not necessarily planning every minute) it can pay to tow the line.

hug.gif hug.gif We've just gone through a few of those days here~not pretty! You have my sympathy. hug.gif hug.gif

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I'm sorry Jen. We are going through a really really awful phase with Ethan right now. He actually made his teacher cry on Monday. blink.gif He is just so unhappy right now. And oh the drama!!!!!!! A lot of it is a put on to get what he wants. He's a mess. And with Scotty being home {spoiling him} it has only gotten worse.

I have no advice. Consistency I guess. dunno.gif hug.gif hug.gif

moped replied:
Well I think Ethan is older than Jack right? UGH..........Jack just really pushes to see what might happen, so tonight he lost 2 Thomas trains - OMG the drama!!!!!

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Ethan is only a couple of months older. He turned four in March.

lisar replied: Lexi went thru that stage and it did get better over time. Right now I think it is just a phase. On man I just realized that I still have to go thru this with Raygen.

Good Luck. hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif

mckayleesmom replied: It still comes and goes in our house,,,but for the most part its starting to get better. One thing that Mckaylee likes is to be treated like a big girl....and when she is disrespectful...I tell her that a big girl doesn't act like that. That usually gets her back on track.

Boo&BugsMom replied: Tanner is almost 6 girl, and he still has these moments hug.gif ...BUT...they are less frequent than before. He has been the sassy king lately. dry.gif Tanner was a bear at 3, and then even at 4 it wasn't all that great at that time yet. With Tanner we have to use more harsh discipline. I don't mean hanging him from a ceiling fan or anything... tongue.gif ...but time outs were LONG, etc. If he is sent to his room, he isn't there for a few minutes, he is there for an hour or more. He sits on his bed and thinks about what he had done, then after his cool down time we have a chat. There have been a few nights where he has had to stay in his room on his bed practically all evening. Little things just don't phase him. If tv and other electronics are taken away it has to be for 3-4 days, not just 1, or he wont care and it wont work.

This last Sunday he was suppose to go fishing with my dad and brother, but because of his AWEFUL growl.gif day on Saturday it was taken away from him and I didn't let him go. It seemed to help his week so far...he's been pretty good.

I guess I just don't have a lot of advice either. laugh.gif blush.gif With Tanner we've always just had to make things more extreme or it just doesn't sink in with him and he acts like he doesn't care. A few minutes on his bed is no big deal, and no tv for a day is no big deal either, so we have to make the punishments longer and more strict in order for him to understand that what he did is not cool.

It has been awhile since we've done a reward system, but perhaps Jack would like something like that? www.preschooleducation.com has some nice free printable sticker charts. I bought little dollar store trinkets and put them in a treasure box, and when the chart was filled up he was allowed to pick something out of it. I have to say...this was probably one of the best movitators I have had luck with when it comes to Tanner's behavior. Maybe it would work for Jack? hug.gif

Boo&BugsMom replied: Oh...one more thing! Tanner had a really aweful day not too long ago, so the next day he happened to be home from school so I put him on work detail. laugh.gif He did laundry, swept, cleaned the cat box, did dishes, dusted, cleaned the toilet, cleaned the tub....you name it. I helped him and showed him how, but the process was a lot more important than the product.

It really worked well...for awhile at least. laugh.gif It was kind of like killing two birds with one stone. He was put to work because he was naughty, and we got to spend one on one time with eachother.

BAC'sMom replied: LMAO! tongue.gif

I feel your pain.... call me sometime and we can swap stories hug.gif

boyohboyohboy replied: I am using this new reware system that so far is working for us.
I got it from www.mypreciouskid.com

its a magnetic board that has all these chores and then things like manners and you can add things like dont roll your eyes and anything you want to do as a chore
then there are magnets you add to the days of the week if they accomplish the task.
the kid gets to pick what 7 chores he wants for the week, then if he completes them, or as much of the goal as you set, then he gets to pick the reward he is working for..
and so far its worked,and when he does something poorly or not at all..he loses the magnet..
its been helping because he sees what he has to do and then he can move the magnets. and he sees the goal or prize that he wants and how close he gets to it..
now caleb is older then jack, but he still might be able to get it, if the prize was something he really wanted..
sometimes our prizes are toys, or things like going to breakfast wth daddy only..or a movie...or time outside playing baseball. riding bikes..
we took everything away and he had to earn it back with this chart because he was so bad at first..
its nicely made too.

momofone replied: we were in the same boat until she started school that time apart really helps. thumb.gif

moped replied: Jennie, thank you - those are good ideas.....I have tried the reward chart but of course let it fall by the way side.....I seem to be a bit harsher too - I throw out toys, not jsut keep them for him to get back later, room for long periods because like Tanner he jsut doesn't get it. I may try to Treasure Chest thing - so can you explain abit more how that worked please?

And the cleaning etc - good job!!!!!!!!!

Boo&BugsMom replied:
I bought a little box from Walmart. One of those plastic boxes for about $1 or so. I wrote "prize box" on the side. I put all the little toys inside it. I also got little tiny stickers that fit inside the sticker chart boxes to use for stickers. Once he filled up a chart, he got to pick a prize from the box. I usually would give out stickers for listening really well, following through without being told 100 times, using manners, etc.and I would withold a sticker if he was being naughty. Any easier way you could do it would be to pick 3 times a day that he could earn his sticker. Let's say at 10am, 3pm, and before bed...for example. I would assess his behavior during those times to see if he earned his sticker. If he acts really naughty during that time period, he has to wait until the next time-frame to earn a sticker. Hope that helps! biggrin.gif

lovemy2 replied: I think all the ideas on here are really great ones and I tried alot of them with Olivia too - she has about a week a month where she is a complete nut (hmmm wonder what that is all about and I can only imagine how that week will be in about 10 years tongue.gif wacko.gif ) Anyway.....one of the things that works the best with Olivia - is IGNORING HER....she is told when she can come back and ask nicely or politely, etc. or when she can behave appropriately, etc. then I will listen to her, if not - then it is falling on deaf ears............its can be a bit annoying listening and ignoring the noise but they tend to get shorter and shorter - and its nothing a good glass of wine at the end of the day can't cure laugh.gif

Boo&BugsMom replied:
I do that sometimes too. thumb.gif The ignoring part that is. Ok, and sometimes the wine too. rolling_smile.gif

moped replied: Yes I ignore as well

Today not a good day here with him - I swear I don't know how I am not a drug addict! tongue.gif

I am going to go out and get a treasure chest for him - this might motivate him - UGH.....

luvmykids replied:
I do that sometimes too, and if they complain guess what they get? Another chore laugh.gif


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