Not sure how to feel - death mentioned

my2monkeyboys wrote: To give a little back story, a girl friend of mine and Dh's (through business) has this boyfriend. We've hung out with them quite a bit over the last 3-4 months, and have always liked the guy. He's always played with Will and he and DH got along great, really liking to hang out. We recently found out, though, that he's been hitting her and that he's an all-around sleazy guy. He knocked-up a 16 yr old about 6 years ago (he was 26 at the time!) and then would hardly help her with the kid, then he got another girl pregnant about 4 months after that and basically disowned that kid, too. Well, over the last little while more and more stuff has come out about him and while he's really nice and funny to be around, he's obviously an alcoholic, a chronic liar and woman-beater, not to mention a dead-beat dad.
Well, our friend has been trying to get him out of her house the last 2 weeks, but legally she can't make him leave. (He's been living there for about 3 months.) The cops have been called and all of that, but they do nothing, despite the bruises and broken stuff around her house from him.
So, late last night they were apparently out driving around (not sure exactly what they were doing, as I haven't been able to go see her yet) and they had a wreck. She is the in the hospital and the drs. are running x-rays to make sure nothing internally is wrong, otherwise she has just some bruising and bumps. The guy, on the other hand, died. This is where I'm confused with my feelings.
I know he was a bad guy, but I can't help to feel sorry for him. I guess it's bc I believe in an after-life, so I have the feeling he isn't heading for the nice side of eternal life.
I just don't know how I should be feeling about all of this.

Anyway, sorry for the long post. I just needed to get this out, I guess. Thanks for reading, if you made it this far.

boyohboyohboy replied: sorry stephanie that would be very confusing, but honestly I think a young life taken so early is always so hard to deal with, no matter what he was like. i might feel differently had it been my 16 yr old that was his "victim" but its sad that he had wasted the life he was given.

amynicole21 replied: That is really tough. No one deserves an ending like that - karma or not.

sparkys2boys replied: Oh wow, I am sorry your going through all of this. I can understand why you have mixed feeling's for sure. I hope your friend is ok

my2monkeyboys replied: I think that's part of what's bothering me so much... not that I'll miss him, but that I feel he wasted his life in such a horrible way. Even if life really ends with death, if there is no after-life, no consequences to how you lived, the fact that he didn't do the best he could with the time he had is just so sad, and almost angering.
I am glad that he was one the driving, bc my friend has a horrible way of letting her self feel guilty for everything that happens, whether it's really her fault or not. She grew up in a VERY abusive household, where her mom did nothing to stop any of it, then she went on to have an abusive marriage and another abusive relationship. When she met Jason, he swore he'd protect her and never let that happen again. So much for promises....
He would even tell her it was her fault he was beating her up, that she made him do it.
I'm hoping that maybe this all will cause her to get the help she needs. She's a typical example of abused-woman syndrome.

Life is just so hard and unfair sometimes.

Danalana replied: It's too bad that he was the way he was...I feel sad for him for the same reason you do.

bawoodsmall replied: I would feel bad to. Someone somewhere surely loved him and they will miss him. That is why I would feel sad, not because he isnt physically here.

kimberley replied: i don't think there is any wrong way to feel about this. i'd be sad for his wasted life and her emotional scars. p&pt to your friend.

A&A'smommy replied:
I agree!!!!

I'm sorry Stephanie that is awful!!!

MoonMama replied:

Kirstenmumof3 replied: Feel what's in your heart! I'm very sorry to hear about your loss and I really hope that your friend will be okay! My thoughts and prayers are with you!

redchief replied: Funny thing about feelings. We can't control them. Emotion happens, regardless of who we are or how much we try to convince ourselves and others that we can control what we feel. It's fine to feel the loss of even an evil person, and to pray that there may be salvation even for him. That doesn't make you a bad person. It's also OK to pass a little judgment... for despite what the bible tells us, it is impossible not to judge and still be thoughtful humans.

jcc64 replied: What Ed said. I'm sorry.

gr33n3y3z replied: Sorry hun

and what Ed had posted

my2monkeyboys replied: Thanks everyone. I don't feel quite so guilty now.