Need some advice

coppop wrote: Ok... So here it goes...

My wife and I had our first child 4 months ago and everything has been great. Money has been a little tight, as well as free time, but of course that is to be expected. Christmas came and my brother and his wife, who have been trying to get pregnant for nearly a year, made their big announcement that they were finally pregnant and due in late August or early September....

So, life is good and then my wife mentions to me that she seems to be a week late for her period... So, off in a panic I go to the drug store and yep.. you guessed it. We're going to be proud parents again sometime around ohhhh... late August or early September!

So, here's my question.... I feel a little guilty, and so does my wife, because we feel like we may be stealing some of the spotlight from my brother and his wife since it is their first child and now here we come, no pun intended, showing up pregnant again...

Should we feel guilty? How should we tell them?

MM'sMama replied: While I can understand why you feel this way I don't think there is a need for it. I think that this makes it even more special. Every pregnancy and baby should be celebrated. Think of it this way your wife and SIL we be able to share in the excitement together.
My SIL had her baby (her first) the day before I had my youngest. And although we didn't always get along we get a long great now and it did bring us closer together. And she has said she never felt as though her PG was any less important or that I was stepping on her toes in any way. And she was very thankful to have someone to talk to and share her experiences with.
But if your feeling guilty talk to your brother and SIL and be honest. Let them know you are in know way trying to over shadow them and if at any time there is any hard feeling that they can come to you. Let them know you are there for them 100% if they need anything at all. Sorry I am not more help good luck and let us know how everything works out. CONGRATS on your PG ~~~~~happy and healthy 9 months~~~~~

by the way its nice to meet you.

I'm Karah 20 married to Brian 21 proud mommy to Brice who is 4 1/2 yrs old and Caroline who is 3 1/2 months old.

CantWait replied: First of all welcome to Parenting Club, and Congrats to both you and your wife, and your brother and SIL.

I totally agree with what Karah has already said. If your wife and SIL get along and have a good relationship, they can be pregnant buddies.

Wishing both ladies a happy and healthy 9 months.

PrairieMom replied: I see where you are comming from. I would feel the same way. I guess the only thing you can do is break the news to your brother and his wife first. Maybe you could wait a while to share your news, like until your wife is 12 weeks along so your SIL can enjoy getting attention for a little while!

C&K*s Mommie replied: to the PC boards! CONGRAGULATIONS on your PG, and CONGRAGULATIONS on the birth of your first child 4 mos ago.

to what the other ladies above have said. I could not have said it better myself. Like Karah said every child is special, and noone is will outshine the other when it comes to babies. If parents do not divide their love among their multiple children, rather they multiply it, then it should be expected that there will be alot of love to share among all the children. Hope that all four of you, have a happy and healthy PG's.

BTW... My name is Nicole, I am the wife to Christopher, mother to Christian (3 yrs) & Kellie (20mos)

My3LilMonkeys replied: ITA with what the other ladies had to say. They will probably love being PG together! A close friend of mne who lives across the country gave birth to her 1st 2 days after I did, and it was great to share the experience with her even long distance.

coppop replied: Thanks for the warm welcome!

I appreciate your input.

I think we're actually going to go ahead and tell them tongiht!

We're leaving soon to go to their house to watch the ballgame!

Let you know how it goes!

CantWait replied: Good Luck, can't wait to hear how everything goes.

CAMSMOM1 replied: I wanted to welcome you to the board! It's great to have a male's perspective on the boards!

And congradulations on your two

At the same time I got prenant, so did 5 of my closest girlfriends. It was so awesome to share this experience with the woman I'm closest with. (we didn't plan it, but it was a huge blessing!) We would call each other all the time, to get support and ask questions.
Since this is her first baby, she will apprecaite the support from your wife, and having someone to experience this with. But I think you made the right choice to talk to them tonight, privately.
Let us know how it goes. I think it'll be fine, women love to have someone else to bond with during this time in their life, that's why we all come here to Parenting Club, to get support and advice. Having children is an easy way to bond with other women. And I'm sure that's how your SIL will feel. It'll probably make them closer friends in the end. And the cousins will be the same age, and that is always fun!

Ann

PrairieMom replied: good luck spilling the beans!

paradisemommy replied: i bet they'll be just as excited for you guys and i totally agree with the other ladies..your wife will be a great role model with lots of advice and experience from your first along with this next one..it's always great having a pg buddy!! and welcome!!!

coppop replied: Wow... You guys are great! I wish I would have found this board months ago!

I'm glad you guys don't mind a man "butting in"...

Trust me... We could talk.

Ok.. Well, we are walking out the door!!!!!

I'll post later!!!

CAMSMOM1 replied:

I think it's awesome to have a man's perspective, I'm sure we'll be chatting your ear off asking tons of questions! Isn't this board great! So much support! I'm glad you like it, and I hope to get to know you better soon! So post away, we'd love to hear from you!

Ann

MamaJAM replied: Welcome and CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!

I hope all went well with your announcement tonight.

Just wanted to say that having tots close in age is AWESOME!!! My boys are exactly 12 months apart in age...they actually share a birthday. It can be stressful at times...but they are so close - they do everything together.

Good Luck with everything and - again - CONGRATS!!! Hope to see you around.

mom2tripp replied: Welcome to Parenting Club, I'm Kristi wife to Sal and mom to a one year old little boy, Tripp. It's so nice to have you!

I bet they will be over joyed for both of you!!!! Congratulations and a very happy and healthy 9 months, looking forward to getting to know you

coppop replied: Well, we went to my brother's last night thinking that it was just going to be us 4. When we arrived, there was a big party going on. No big deal, we all watched football and drank some , not the preg ladies of course, and had a big time...

Long story short, by the end of the night I was ready to bust 'cause I wanted to tell them so bad, so I dropped the bomb.

There was a brief moment of silence ... and then everybody hugged.

They were very happy and just as excited as we were!

So, thanks for all the advice... You guys are great...

Now all I have to do is drop the news on my parents! That's another whole adventure!

CAMSMOM1 replied: I am so happy for you! I'm glad everyone was excited and that they took the news well! Yea! I'm sure your parents are going to be so happy! All of these new grandkids for them to spoil!

Thanks for the update! And a happy & healthy 9 months for your wife! How is your little boy doing, the 4 month old?

Congradulations again!

Ann

PrairieMom replied: I'm glad the news went over well! Its so neat that you are so excited about it. my DH is just now getting excited becuase he can finally feel the baby kick!

C&K*s Mommie replied:

Oh that is wonderful!!! Glad that everyone was just as happy for you two, as well.
When are you going to let your parents in on the good news??

CantWait replied: Great news!!!!! Good Luck with the parents, I bet they'll be thrilled, if not pass out....... You guys sure are keeping them on their toes.

My3LilMonkeys replied: Glad everything went so well!