Need Help with Marcus... - 1st dad gitters...

mummy2girls wrote: I love marcus so much because he is such a hands on daddy... BUT there is one thing that really is getting to me and i cant get it to go away our ease up a bit. Marcus is constantly checking to see if she is breathing. So we put her down finally 9-10pm at night and every hour he is checking on her. And 95 percent of the time she wakes up. He helps getting her back to sleep but i am now running on empty because of this. last night we get her down at 10pm and then at 12am he wakes up and runs to her room and checks to see if she is breathing ( we had to get her out of the bassinet into a crib because she is now to big for the bassinet so she isn't in the same room as us). She almost wakes up and then at 200am he jumps out of bed and i stopped him before he went in reassuring hims he is ok. She then wakes up 15 minutes later to eat then goes downat 330am. 1 hour later again he jumps out of bed and wants to check on her. Then she wakes up. And doesnt want to go back to sleep. He takes her so i could sleep 1 more hour before I have to get up and get ready for the dayhome. Then he gets her down at 630am as im waking up and then goes to bed himself and not even 1 hour later he jumps out of bed and i can hear him over the monitor checking on her. i told him he needs to stop that. I can hear her moving and breathing over the monitor.

Even in the car he does this. her seat is behind the passenger side and whenever im driving he will reach over behind him and check to see if she is breathing as Jenna is saying to him... silly marcus she is still breathing. Its bad when a 6 yr old says to him.. marcus she is breathing don't worry...

so how do i help him feel more at ease?

luvmykids replied: I think it's totally normal, I did it too What wakes her up? Does he actually touch her to check? Maybe suggest that he just watch her back or tummy for the rise and fall of her breathing.

jcc64 replied: How about one of those video baby monitors--then he won't have to physically go in the room to check on her.

~Roo'sMama~ replied: I did that a lot too, but not quite as much as it sounds like he is doing. I would either watch for the rise and fall or their back/chest, or hold my hand in front of their face to feel for their breath. Most of the time they didn't wake up when I did that.

Maybe you could look into one of those angel monitors that sounds an alarm if they don't move for a certain period of time. Or a video monitor - they're kind of expensive but not as bad as they used to be.

mummy2girls replied:
yes he will put pull back her receding blanket that she is wrapped in and then puts his hand on her chest to feel for it to rise and fall...

mummy2girls replied:
well we did get a angel care monitor from his sister so we are going to get that set up today

coasterqueen replied:
Same here. Also if you have a regular baby monitor on you should be able to hear her breathing. That's what I'd do is wake up a ton of times and just listen to the monitor to see if the girls were breathing. With Megan I actually got up and checked on her, though, because of the few times she refluxed in her sleep - scared me to death.

DVFlyer replied: Let him cope with the new addition in his own ways. It'll get better.

Swood75 replied: Well,I thought I was the only one that gets up frequently to check on Kassidy..LOL..I have done it with all 3 of my kids..

stella6979 replied:
I agree. I would also suggest that he doesn't touch her just look for the rise and fall. Avery is 3 and I still check on her a few times a night and I also have a video monitor.

moped replied: I remember being a freak about the breathing too, but never went so close they would wake up - in fact it was just with Jack I was like that, got way better in time!!!!!!

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I agree with DV. But to make it easier on you, maybe have the ped explain to him that there is really nothing to worry about...that babies go into slow breathing patterns when they are fast asleep. Maybe it will make him feel better hearing it from the doc.

My2Beauties replied: Oh honey I agree w/ DV too, I just think he needs to learn to cope with it in his own way, it will get better. I have to admit I did this a lot with both of my children I was scared to death, I think it's sweet that he is such a worry wart.

MommyToAshley replied: Both DH and I did it all the time too, I think it's normal. I think I was actually worse than DH, in that I checked more often. I probably would have resented it if DH told me to not check on her as much. I remember the first itme Ashley slept through the night, I rushed to her room to make sure she was ok... and then celebrated later.

mummy2girls replied:
Yes that may be true but because i have to work and take care of 6 kids during the day I need to sleep at least 3 hour stretches. Im burning down my last candle because he gets up every 30-60 minutes to check on her so i wake up and sometimes breanna does and then sometimes i am the only one that can get her to sleep... so yes he may resent me but i have to tell him to ease up a bit. Or i may resort to sleeping ion her room on the floor and guard the door so he doesnt come in...

coasterqueen replied:
Shelly, I'm sure you've talked to him about it. Tell him what you've told us. He's your husband....he SHOULD understand and listen to your concerns and feelings. Show him some printed material on how babies breath, how he can check on her without waking her, etc. I think if you tell him what you've told us, about how it's stressing you, causing you no sleep, etc that he WILL understand. Marcus seems like such a caring man, I can't see him not.

mummy2girls replied:
We talked about it and we think its his anxiety. It has trailed into a something new. His anxiety issues stem from him getting the stomach bug and then being freaked out about vomitting. You can see him get to almost panic attacks when this happens. So now i think he is worried that Breanna will stop breathing. Which is understandeable. I get scared too and worry. but because he has anxiety issues i think he needs to see hert breath in order for the anxiety to ease up. BUT we did set up teh angel care monitor yesterday so all he has to do is open the door and peak in to see teh light flashing which tells us she is breathing. And an alarm will go off if she stops... So hopefully it will ease up his worries A bit