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Nature vs Nurture

cameragirl21 wrote: This topic has me thinking lately. Obviously both are factors but which do you consider to be most important in personality development and behavior? For those who may not know what this means, Nature refers to the characteristics a person has that come from within the person and nurture refers to upbringing and environment. It's a topic that has been studied by many a psychologist and researcher and there is no right answer as each one has drawn his/her own conclusion on the matter. This is a difficult question so give it some thought and remember, if you believe nature is stronger then you are saying that to a certain degree, the environment and/or parenting almost doesn't matter because the person will be whomever s/he is. In other words, if you believe it's nature, then you believe that what you do as a parent will never overcome who your child is naturally. Conversely, if you believe it's nurture, you believe that parenting style is paramount and would most likely have to take both credit and responsibility for the bulk of your child's good and bad behavior. Think about your own child and ask yourself how similar or different you believe s/he would be if raised by someone else whose parenting style is completely different from yours. Again, there is no right or wrong here, I'm just curious as I don't know the answer myself. The Duggar family seems to be proof that nurture is stronger because they have 17 soft spoken, well behaved kids which is unlikely to be due to chance BUT I have often said that if I were born into their family my rebellious nature and my inclination to question (and challenge) authority would have brought mom and pop Duggar to their knees, which would indicate that nature is stronger. What do you think? Feel free to post your thoughts in addition to voting.
Btw, I don't mean for this to be a thread or discussion about the Duggars, just thought they'd be a good example to illustrate just how complicated this question really is, it's kind of like the chicken and egg question but I am genuinely curious what a group of parents thinks on this topic.

kit_kats_mom replied: Before I had two kids, I'd say that nurture trumps nature. Now however, I'm thinking nature has a BIG part in it. Lauren is so much different than her sister and we've raised them the same way for the most part. She just came wired differently. rolleyes.gif

cameragirl21 replied:
Not to argue, but just wanted to point something out, and like I said, idk what the answer is so I'm not trying to say you're wrong but here's the thing--your daughters are really not raised the same way. Katherine was an only child, Lauren never was, etc. These things can make a difference. Just something to ponder.... happy.gif

MommyToAshley replied: I didn't vote because none of the answers really apply. I think they both have influence, but I wouldn't necessarily say they are equal. The degree of the influence can vary from person to person, and environment to environment, that's why I said none of the answers apply.

In the absence of nurture (a lot of parental guidence), nature is going to take a bigger role. However, as Cary mentioned, even in the same family two children, raised the same way, can be very different. I think there are certain characteristics of a person's personality that are just inbred. I think it is up to the parent to adopt their parenting style to nurture each child according to their individual child. So, you may not be able to "treat" two children the same. So, while one child may be very out-going and the other more child may be more of an introvert.. that is part of their "nature", it doesn't mean that either can't be social, well-adapted, and well-behaved with a lot of nurturing. Therefore, I don't think it is one or the other, nor do I think they are equal. I believe the effects of both depend on the child and the environment (including the parenting style). I think it is a pretty good combo... otherwise we'd have a lot of clones walking around. laugh.gif

luvbug00 replied: Nurture..

I'm adopted and my biological family was an alcoholic,anger issued, mental mess. I'm overall normal, no real alcohal issues and well you guys know me. So nurture.

My3LilMonkeys replied:
I agree. Our girls were raised pretty much the same and they are 2 totally different people. I think both nature and nurture have a strong effect, though the effect is not necessarily equal.

TeesaŽŠ replied: I think that both obviously play a role, but they aren't equal. Even just nurture isn't equal on it's own. A child could have 2 parents, but one may work a lot and won't get nearly the same amount of quality time with their child. Some children have indifferent parent/s who don't really care that they even exist.

Like Luv, I, too, was adopted. I was removed from my natural mother at birth. I thoroughly believe that a lot of who we are is pre-wired into us. I never met my natural mother till I was 33, and yet we use the same shampoo, read the same books, own the same puzzles, watch the same movies and even collect the same knick knacks!! I have a strong love for wood working and that comes from my natural father. A man I have yet to meet.

Some things are instilled into people because they endured something repeatedly as a child and didn't like it, so they became the opposite. Like racism, alcoholism and being beaten. Yet other's are subjected to the SAME things and grow up to do the same things to their children.

Life's a gamble. We all take from it what we will. We all give to it what we can.

I sat back as a child and watched. I watched the good and the bad and decided to take from that experience what I could to make me a better person. Even as a "rebellious" teen, I did my darnedest to never hurt anyone.

I think that it's also on how we perceive things, even as a child, that helps us shape into the bigger person we'll become.

moped replied: I believe that our parenting style molds who our children are.........

holley79 replied: I don't know the answer. I would hope it was both. You can take a very well behaved child, who had wonderful parents, who "molded" their child to the best of their abilities and that child still ended up a serial killer. They raised a second child just the same way and that person is a Rocket Scientist with NASA.

Guess it just all depends on whatever you make it.... wink.gif

moped replied:
True true!

TANNER'S MOM replied: Well I don't know which as the biggest factor. I have often wondered the same question. I know that my father raised me and I didn't meet my mother into I was in my late twenties. I know that growing up I was told I was alot like my mother. I didn't realize it until I met her. We looked alike but not anymore than me and my father. But our mannerism and the way we talked. Our facial expression and even our outlook was alot alike. We have different values per say, but we were so much alike! I was honestly shocked! So I think it's 50/50!

Kentuckychick replied: I think they both play a factor... but I honestly don't know for certain which one plays the bigger factor.

If I had to take a guess I would say it's nurture though because studies show that a child who is never nurtured will inevitably fail to thrive and more often than not eventually die.

msoulz replied:
That is what I think too. I think it is mostly nature - some folks are just born with something not connecting and they turn out to be serial killers - and some are on the fence and the nurture, or lackthereof, can shoot them down the serial killer path.

Boo&BugsMom replied: I think nurture plays a bigger factor, but I also think nature plays a role as well. I think each one plays a different role in different areas. Children/people exhibit many learned behaviors, but I can also look at my kids and see things that are from me, or are from Troy. For example...I think things like tempermant, etc. come from nature, but I think the way we deal with our tempermants are from nurture or are from being taught how to deal with them. Make sense? Not sure if that does.

luvmykids replied: I agree with you, Jennie. Watching the twins I see A LOT of nature. Some can argue that because they aren't the same sex they're not a good case study but as their mom, I can tell you they've been raised the same wink.gif I can absolutely see nature, and I can see the areas where nurture overrides it.

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