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My thoughts on PC - possibly controversial


MyBabeMaddie wrote: I had hoped that I would be able to make friends with or find people to chat with on PC who had similar interests/experiences with me but frankly I've found it very hard to fit in here - There have been so many controversial posts lately I don't feel like adding my 2 cents - I'd really like to find my niche but how can I with cliques and people attacking people on here?!
IDK just thinking out loud. dunno.gif

My3LilMonkeys replied: Personally, I chose to avoid most of the controversial posts - or else I just post my thoughts on the original topic and ignore the controversy. It's just not my thing. As for cliques, I don't really feel like there are any. Some people are closer than others, but that's only natural - especially for the ones who are lucky enough to know each other in real life.

There are plenty of non controversial topics around - hopefully you can find some that interest you.

ediep replied:
same here

I mostly stick to the topics about children and avoid anything controversial

kimberley replied: hug.gif i am sorry you feel that way Sarah. we have strived very hard to keep the controversy and the cliques to a bare minimum on this board. i think that is what sets us apart from the other forums.

i think online friendships with a group as big as ours is even more difficult than real life relationships because we don't really know each other that well and often take things out of context. i, myself, have inadvertantly typed something that hurt someone's feelings and i completely didn't see it coming. i certainly wasn't out to offend anyone.. it just came out wrong.

with the recent posts you are speaking of, i think it is just a lot of miscommunication and a little bit of reluctance or hesitance on some members behalf to understand something/someone different. rest assured, this is not being ignored by the moderators. those members have been spoken to via PM and i hope that we can all learn to be a little more welcoming and accepting and a little less rude around here.

i don't think we should avoid the big issues because we fear controversy. we are all grown ups here and i think it is possible to have a healthy debate with both sides represented in a calm manner. we just need to accept that someone will have a completely opposite view to our own and just say "okay". EVERYONE's opinions matter here.

enough rambling lol... i do hope to get to know you better and hope you find your niche here. i am always around to chat smile.gif

mom2my2cuties replied: I really don't have much to add except that I do hope you don't leave - I enjoy reading your posts about Madison and yourself. hug.gif

msoulz replied:
Ditto! smile.gif

punkeemunkee'smom replied: Sarah I hope that you do not leave! hug.gif Give it some time to find your niche smile.gif I know you will come to know and love this place just as I have! hug.gif

1lilpeanut2love replied:
iagree.gif!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif

CantWait replied: Sarah I'm sorry you feel that way. I personally enjoy your posts.
I think sometimes the cliqueness comes from some of the older members (myself included, and I'm speaking for myself) who feel more comfortable around those that we've known. That's my excuse.
I know I tend to find myself leary of some (a couple really, not a lot, and not most) of the newer members because I'm unsure of their real reasons for being here, or for other reasons. There's a lot of spamming lately, a lot of jumping down one another's throats, and a lot of stuff I don't feel we've had to deal with in the past (and this is from my perspective). I wish I could explain it better, but that's pretty much what it comes down to.
It takes time to really get to know people "net" wise anyway....before you know who they are, personality, names, children's ages and names (I still get confused and can't keep track of all the names and ages). Let me reintroduce myself, I'm Marie, 29. Mom to Robbie, 11, and Anthony, 3. I'm the load mouth of the board, and although I appreciate everyones views, I will call you up on it if I think you're being rude. Get's me in trouble occassionally, but that's who I am. WoW sorry this post got so long winded, blahblah.gif but I hope it narrows down the way some things are, and helps you to understand who we are a bit better. hug.gif hug.gif

C&K*s Mommie replied:
dito.gif

I also feel similiar to Marie. I feel comfort with those that I know, a couple of whom I have had the benefit of meeting IRL. I try my best not to shun anyone (newbie or long time member), but I feel a degree of comfort with those that I do know, not trying to be a part of any clique whatsoever. I try my best to let others in on my life, by sharing bits of it. Proud moments as a mother top the list, asking ridiculous questions, or when I needed to vent I knew I could count on the members here to listen and offer advice or support. I have been open and have found a great second "home" here.

I hope you choose to stay, and to let others get to know you more. hug.gif You are a valuable benefit to this community board, I hope you continue to come here to chat. As for the controversial posts, there is that choice to avoid them or to take that extra moment and let it pass when you want to say something in return. That is the great thing about boards, you can have time to think your thoughts through whereas a chatroom is more or less anything goes. wacko.gif

redchief replied: I hope you choose to stay Sarah. I enjoy reading everyone's posts. I don't avoid the controversial ones where I have an opinion I wish to impart, but I certainly never wish to see anyone offended directly by anything I say. Am I always successful? No. As said before, internet relationships can be tough because sarcasm, irony and dry wit are often mistaken (and I use these communication methods liberally) for attacks. Make no mistake, if I disagree with a stance on a certain topic, I shall post my disagreement. That hardly means I'm attacking anyone in person. I try very hard to avoid the use of pronouns like "you" and possesives like "your" unless someone specifically asks a question pertaining to them

I like how Marie finished, and I'll do the same. I'm Ed, and I'm a 43 year old conservative blowhard with four children, all of whom confirm my blowhardiness (is that a word?). I really like this place, and all members, old and new alike, are important to the diversity and specialness of this place. Please hang in there, and if ever I can help with an issue, feel free to bounce your ideas off me directly.

luvmykids replied: hug.gif I'm sorry you feel that way Sarah, I've enjoyed having you here.

Jamison'smama replied: Hang in here with us Sarah. I can't really say that I have a niche here at PC and I have been here for a long time. I just post when something jumps out at me and ask questions when I have them. I don't often post in controversial topics but I have before. Sure, there are some cliques but that's to be expected and it isn't the norm around here. All this to say even though I am not in a clique, haven't found a niche, and tend to have views different from the norm, I feel comfortable here, that comes with time and you will get there too.

smile.gif I'm Brenda 37 married for 12 years with two adorable kids ages 4 and almost 2



MyBrownEyedBoy replied: I'm Kelly, married for 4 years and mom to Logan, age 2.

That out of the way, I understand your feelings. I don't post as much as I used to, but that is mostly due to having a toddler now and not an infant. Mostly I stay out of the controversial posts, but I do read them. I see those posts as another opportunity to get to know people. Personalities really come out in areas where people are passionate. I hope you stick with us a bit longer, we really are a great group. PC has grown by leaps and bounds over the last year I've been here, and growth has both rewards and drawbacks. We have gotten some great new members and we've gotten a few trolls and spammers. But all in all, I am proud to belong to PC. I may differ in opinions and politics from most of the members, but I have never felt put out. I hope that if you do, you will tell the mods. They do their best to keep PC friendly for everyone.

ashtonsmama replied: Sarah--
hug.gif
I second and third the hope that you will stay, I know it can be hard sometimes to fit in (anywhere in the world really, not just online) and I myself have found it difficult many times...so you're not alone.

I always love to see Maddie's sweet face and see you on myself!
hug.gif

I also second Marie's last paragraph...
happy.gif

paradisemommy replied:
dito.gif

wavey.gif i'm tammy, married to keoki for almost 5 years and have 2 wonderful children, taven (4) and skyler (1).. wavey.gif

MoonMama replied:
iagree.gif hug.gif I am really new here and sometimes I feel out of place or unliked. blush.gif But you know everyone is so sweet and helpful above all. And I really am thankful I found PC. hug.gif Hang in there. hug.gif

Nina J replied: hug.gif Sometimes I feel the same way, but the positives here far outweigh the negatives. hug.gif

By the way, I'm Nina, my husband is Chris and we have 2 children, Emily and Odessa..I'm not an interesting or exciting person, but I'm me and I think I'm okay thumb.gif

booey2 replied: Hi :hug:Sarah, I am Terri, mom to 2 great boys, Matthew 8 and Thomas almost 5. Married for 12 years. I have been here for quite some time and I too tend to stay out of the very controversial posts and topics. The written word can be taken in so many ways and a lot of them incorrectly. Please stay around, the more the merrier here and as your little one grows you may find you will fit in to more and more of the places here on PC. Rod and Dee and the mods have all helped to make this a great place.

Terri

boyohboyohboy replied: HI, sarah, I dont post as much as i would like since i have a very busy 4 yr old and a busy toddler....but i think sometimes the tones get misunderstood here as people cant always tell if you are mad, or just stating an opinion on the internet.
i know i always get myself into trouble with my own mom , when i write her fast, because the kids are pulling on me, and she thinks i am being curt...but i am just in a hurry.
i hope you are able to find some new friends here.

Maddy'sMommy replied: I too have not found my niche here, but I still really like it. Most everyone seems friendly and I enjoy having acess to others moms and dads opinions and advice. I am glad to be a part of this place and hope to get to know everyone better. I hope you stick around.

I am Melissa and I have a dd named Madison too. She is almost 19 months old. Everyone here is very helpful esspecially being a first time mom.

TheOaf66 replied: I know how you feel, I just pitch in where I can and hope you don't leave. I try to avoid any cliques. I have only been on here since may and it has not always been like this.

jcc64 replied: Hi Sarah-
I can completely understand how you feel- which is why I made a thread about this very subject a week or so. I think the board is feeling very cliqueish lately as well, and I can certainly see how many newer members (and some old) are made to feel "out of the loop", either by virtue of their views (should they differ from the majority), or their newness here. I disagree with the behavior that's gone on here lately, have said so out loud, but fear that a few of the biggest offenders don't even realize they're at the center of this storm.
So, I suggest to you that you try a little patience as we struggle through some growing pains, b/c there are so many special people here, and it's worth the effort- it really is.
btw- I'm Jeanne (41), I'm married for 16 yrs to my hs sweetheart, I work full time as a designer, and I have 3 kids- Alec-14, Noah-11, and Corey-4.

ions_momma replied: Honestly, I have been here for over a year and I still dont feel as though I fit in, so I can definately agree with you. I dont even get on here very often anymore because of my busy schedule, but even when I find time I usually just lurk because I feel like my opinion doesnt really matter much anyways...

Boo&BugsMom replied: I think it can be very hard to read people when you are dealing with a public forum online. You can't see people's reactions, hear their voices, etc. With that said, I don't come here with the hopes that I will "fit in" somewhere. I'm not in high school anymore and I don't wish to deal with cliches and stuff. I come here to get advice, dispense it if I can, talk to others, etc. There are many people here I enjoy talking to and reading posts from. I tend to try to stay away from the debating posts because I always tend to get my words twisited, but like I said, you can't hear someone's tone of voice so it's sometimes hard to understand where people are coming from. I can't always stay away from the controversay, sometimes I just can't let something slide. I can't say I've found a niche persay, but I have found quite a few people that I enjoy hearing from. You will to if you give it time.

holley79 replied: I hope you stay Sarah. I try to stay away from it also. Please don't let anyone/ anything make you leave here. hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif

My2Beauties replied: I just want to say that I agree with everything everyone else has said as far as trying to set a "tone" to a posting on the internet, words are always misconstrued or taken out of context. We hope you stay because this really is a great place and it's so diverse. I wouldn't learn anything if the whole board had my same thoughts and opinions (Ed has said this before as well!).

BTW, I'm LeaAnn, mommy to Hanna (will be 3 in Nov), step-mommy to Desiree Ann (will be 11 in Nov), DH's name is Brian, and I got one on the way, EDD 5-15-07. I'm quite the opposite of Ed laugh.gif in every aspect! But I love his posts all the same!


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