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My sis needs some of your p&pt's please

coasterqueen wrote: My sister, Amanda (23) has moved back home with my parents and I don't know for how long sad.gif She had been living with her boyfriend of 3 years. I thought something was up when I went to my parents house on Sunday and my sis was there, but she said something was wrong with her plumbing and it was being fixed and that was why she was at mom&dads. I thought that was odd, but left well enough alone.

Well, my dad came over last night to tell me that he was sorry for lying to me and Ryan and told me the whole story. I guess my sis and her boyfriend and his friends were at one of our local bars and they were getting drunk and Brent (boyfriend) told Amanda to get lost he didn't want her around. So she called my mom crying and mom went and picked her up. So then she went back to her apt. with my dad to pick up some things, but later changed her mind and decided to go back by herself and stay. Well, the next morning she called my dad bawling and asked if she could come stay for awhile sad.gif Dad said yes but asked why and she said "you just don't know what it's like to live with a drunk dad". sad.gif bawling.gif bawling.gif bawling.gif

I feel so horrible for her. sad.gif I have always thought Brent was a big doo doo head, to say it nicely. When we took her out for her 21st bday and she and Brent were in the back seat of our car on the way home. Amanda was drunk of course and the both of them were going to stay with us at our house. She puked in the backseat as we were pulling in our garage (go figure, she could have waited a second more, lol) and some of *it* got on Brent. So he gets out of the car as she's still puking and said "you better clean all this up and my jacket too"! Ryan and I were so mad because he was being so mean to her. He went to bed and my wonderful husband cleaned up the puke in the car and the garage. He even took Amanda a trash can and checked up on her to make sure she was ok. wub.gif I can't handle puke, so he dealt with it for me.

Her boyfriend is always being mean to her. He's not abusive *yet* that we know of. Gosh, I hope not. Dad said if she wants to go back he's not going to convince her to stay because she's old enough to make her own decisions, but if he hurts her he told her she was not staying there anymore.

I also feel bad because she didn't come to me about this sad.gif Dad even said "I don't know why she wouldn't tell you and why there is friction between you, but there always is, just don't tell her I told you about this". sad.gifsad.gif My sis and I are a little over 5 years apart in age, so there has always been friction between us. At her age I was very responsible and "with it" and she is not and I don't understand it and we don't see eye to eye on a lot of things but get along for Kylie's sake. But even with that she always says she doesn't have time to see her, but she has time to go out and party every night on the weekend.

So I guess I'll just have to wait to tell her I'm here for her when she tells me sad.gif The sad thing is I think I can help her. I know what it's like to live with an alcoholic and I really want to be there for her, but I can't bawling.gif bawling.gif

Anyways, sorry this got so long. I would appreciate your p&pt's for my sis. I just hope and pray he is not hurting her and that this all works out for the best for her.

Jamison'smama replied: Sending lots of positive thoughts and prayers--

Remind her that abusive behavior is not limited to physical abuse---I am attaching a link--it was the best I could find of the power and control wheel. These all are types of abusive behaviors and the alcohol abuse is not even listed--although it usually leads to one of the other behaviors.

Bless her heart and thank goodness she has a big sister and parents who'll take her in.

Power and Control Wheel

ediep replied: awww, poor sis, that is really tough! Sending p&pt her way.

jen replied: (((((((hugs))))))))) Sorry your sis is going through this in her life right now. Hopefully she can learn from it and realize what jerk that guy is and meet someone nice. I think my sister sometimes compares herself to me and feels like I will judge her and that is why she doesn't always come to me first. I have learned not to take it personally because it isn't my fault and there is nothing I can do about it if I don't know, so I wouldn't let it hurt your feelings. You are in a different place than she is right now in your life and she probably feels like you wouldn't relate to her situation even though you would. I hope she gives this guy the boot and finds herself before finding another guy and when she does he is the right one! smile.gif

aspenblue1 replied: I hope everthing works out for her. Sending lost of P&PT's..

coasterqueen replied:
You are so right. I think she compares herself to me too. I know I give her a hard time because she isn't as mature as I think she should be, but I have always been supportive of her relationship with Brent, even if I really wasn't. It used to make her mad because she didn't think I liked him. Well, I didn't, but for the sake of our relationship I chose to act like I did. Oh well. I am sure you are right wink.gif She will tell me in her own time.

~CrazieMama~ replied: I am sorry she is going through this. I will keep her and your whole family in my prayers. Please keep us updated. grouphug.gif

MommyToAshley replied: Sending lots of P&PT's!! And, some hugs too! grouphug.gif

It's great that you and your family are there to suppor her. I just hope that she comes to you soon.

A&A'smommy replied: Im sending all my P&PT'!!!! I hope that he isnt really hurting her too!! ((((BIG HUGS))))

kimberley replied: i am sorry to hear your sister is going through such a hard time sad.gif she is definitely in my thoughts and prayers. coming from a few abusive relationships, i know how hard it is to leave a bad situation and sometimes the emotional abuse is worse than the physical because it breaks down who you are as a person. bawling.gif i am glad she has such a loving family to turn to and i am sure she will open up to you when she is ready. she is probably embarassed to tell you because you have a good relationship and she feels inadequate. my sis is like that too. big hugs to you and your sis. grouphug.gif grouphug.gif grouphug.gif

CantWait replied: I'm so sorry your sis's bf is such a ****well I won't say it. I'm thinking of your sister and hope she gets rid of that loser for good. Big hugs to her grouphug.gif

Kirstenmumof3 replied: grouphug.gif Sending my prayers and positive thoughts to you and your family! I'm really glad to hear that she is safe with your parents right now, that's the first step for her. Whether or not you two are close she is going to need you a lot right now! Be there for her in any way that she wants you too and tell her that you will always be there for her! grouphug.gif

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