My heart is aching so badly right now

coasterqueen wrote: I got some very horrible news this morning from my mother. My sister is a daycare worker. She is a wonderful person with the kids she works with. She works with all the bad kids in the facility. The ones that cannot behave for anything. My sister goes the extra mile for these children, buying them clothes and shoes because their parents can't afford them. She writes little notes to the parents all the time telling them a new thing their child did. I could go on and on about how passionate she is about the kids she cares for.

Well, my sister was accused yesterday at work of a very horrible act against a child. I won't go into what, but I KNOW my sister did not do it. IF this actually happened to the child her assumption is the mother's boyfriend was involved. I don't know all the details as my sister was so distraught last night she only called my mother. I do know the police have questioned her and she has literally been accused.

Whatever happens, my sister will never be able to find a job working with kids again. Even if she is found innocent, which I am confident she will be. This will always haunt her future job potentials. Her dream in life was to work with children whether it be in daycare or whatever. She actually wants to work with correctional kids, but is trying to take the state tests to do so. Now she will never be able to do this because of accusations.

I've always looked at daycare from a parent's point of view. You know, worried that your child will be hurt in a horrible manner, etc, etc. But I would never accuse someone in less I knew it was true. Now after hearing this this morning, it aches me to look at daycare from the worker's point of view. My sister will more than likely lose her job at that daycare for sure. She will have no protection from this horrible situation.

I've left her a message and I'm hoping she's doing ok. They supposedly have not fired her yet. I just don't know if my sister can make it through such a horrible thing as this. As soon as I hear from her, Dh and I plan to go to the bank and do whatever we have to do to get a loan to get her legal counsel. If I would have known about this last night she would already have one.

Please, if ever I need your prayers, this is the very moment I need it. My sister is only 25 years old. She has her whole life ahead of her and this horrible thing is going to affect that life forever by this. I am so angry at the woman who accused her. I only know what my sister has told me in the past about this woman but I know this woman has major issues and doesn't lead a very *nice* life and her boyfriend is a very threatening person.

I am just so sick to my stomach right now, I'm in pain, I'm in tears. I just don't know how to help her. Oh I hope she calls me soon. I just can't imagine what she is going through inside.

jem0622 replied: Karen...I am so sorry to hear this. Terribly sorry. She's in my prayers. This must be a terrible and hurtful time for your family.

HUGS
Julie

Lily replied: Oh my, I'm so sorry for your sister. That's horrible. I really hope the sick person that really did this will be found out. I'll keep her in my prayers.

A&A'smommy replied: that is horrible! Your sister is in my prayers! (((((BIG HUGS)))))

mckayleesmom replied: That is EXACTLY why I don't want to go into daycare anymore. All they have to do is accuse you of something and you are basically barred from working in the same area...its not fair. Sorry about your sister. I hope she comes out of this ok.

Kaitlin'smom replied: I am so sorry, I to constantly worry about my Daughter with her sitter, is she feeding her enough, giving her enought to drink, I know she loves Kaitlin like it was her own but I can help worry, but at accuses someone of something so horrible (I have a good ieda what your talking about) espically if its not true is the worse pain someone can go through. I have a friend that was accused of something horrible by a stepchild and would have been prosicuted if they had finally not told the truth! I hope the real truth come out and your sister can survie this. I will keep her in my thoughts, and update us when you can. (((BIG HUGS)))

aspenblue1 replied: Karen I am so sorry. She is in my prayers. I hope everything works out.

jen replied: Karen,

That is awful. I am so sorry. Your sister in my prayers. I hope that woman comes to her senses and gets some decency. I am so so so sorry. I don't know what to say. I hope everyone can see this woman for what she is and her boyfriend for what he is and see that how good of a person your sister is. I am sending lots of prayers and positive thoughts your way.

*as for you I know you are heart broken for her, you will get better knowing you are doing all you can for her as time goes on. She is so lucky to have you and Ryan support her and help her through this.

beckamouse replied: oh honey. i am so sorry that this happened to your sister *hug* i'll pray for your family okay sweetheart?

kit_kats_mom replied: Well, she is supposed to be innocent until proven guilty right? I would think that when she is cleared, it should not effect her future employment. Especially if she can get other co-workers and parents to vouch for her. Of course, I really don't know anything about daycare so...maybe I'm totally off base.

It is a pity that some people can't see the forest for the trees and place blame without throughly investigating. If her BF is doing anything to her child, she may just be in deep denial. Has this woman been a problem in the past?

I do agree that she should be removed from the situation until the case it investigated though. Nothing personal, but if there were someone accused of doing something wrong with a child, I would not want them near K until it was cleared up.

Hopefully the legal system will work and your sister will be able to work soon. Tell her that I'm sending her strength during this difficult time.

coasterqueen replied:
No I totally agree with you Cary. I think this is why it's hard for me right now. I know she should be taken out of the situation as a parent who would want the same thing, but knowing how scared my sister is right now. I just want to cry. She was so freaked out when the cops showed up last night.

She is innocent until proven guilty, but my understanding when you apply for jobs that deal with children, just the question of have you ever been accused usually comes up and that will hurt her forever. I know this because DH's co-worker's son was a school teacher. He was falsely accused and found innocent in trial but no one will hire him. His career is dead and gone. It's so awful.

I guess this is why I'm having such a hard time with this. I'm trying to make sense of this from both views, the parent and the worker. Ya know? I know what I would do as a parent and what I would want done, but looking at it from the worker's point of view is hard too.

I'm not sure if she has had issues with the mother before or not, but I have heard alot about the parents of these children and my guess is, if something horrible has been done to this child, I would have to guess it's the boyfriend or another male. I just don't see how a woman could have possibly done this.

I just pray you are right and the legal system works for her.

A&A'smommy replied:
I know what you mean I was babysitting a little girl and her mother accused me of not feeding her enough, or giving her anything to drink and not changing her diaper and she got a diaper rash, UHHH she had the diaper rash when i got there GRRRRRR$!!! parents (no offense) need to think before they accuse!

maliksmommy replied: I am so sorry your sister is having to go through this right now, I am in tears reading about it. You and her are in my prayers and hoping that the mother comes clean and admits she was lying. I am so so very sorry!!

jcc64 replied: Well, this is always such a highly charged issue, and I'm so very sorry that your sister is caught in the eye of the storm. However, the courts and law enforcement are unfortunately used to dealing with false accusations levied between warring factions, and hopefully the truth will come out eventually and your sister's name will be cleared. Dh's best friend was involved in a bitter custody battle in which his crazy ex-wife accused him of drug abuse and child endangerment (all false, btw). He was petrified for his job, as he is an elementary school teacher. Eventually, it became obvious that his wife was trying to assasinate his character for her own advantage and he was completely exonerated and rewarded full custody. I would advise your sister to begin gathering as many character witnesses as possible- families of children in her care, etc, who can testify in her behalf. Get things in writing. And tell your sister not to give up on her career, hopefully this will all be a horrible nightmare and nothing more.

Elle replied: I can't believe this, what a dreadful woman! How indignating... Prayers and possitive thoughts going for your sister, I hope she gets cleared and this not to affect her future career.

A&A'smommy replied:
perfectly said and sooo true!

Jamison'smama replied: So very sorry. I will be sending positive thoughts and prayers to your sister and your family. Hugs.

DansMom replied: This is terrible news. It is possibly the most horrible thing to do to someone. A person who would destroy the reputation and livelihood of an innocent person (to deflect blame from someone in their own family or house whom they should and probably do KNOW is guilty), that person is the worst kind of criminal. You are right to worry that even if she is found innocent, she may feel tainted and/or lose the joy she had for her work. The Day Care Center should be getting Social Services looking into that home immediately---I hope the authorities are investigating all possibilities. I'm so sorry this is happening to your sister. It's one reason I'm afraid to get involved in day care work---seriously. Teachers and caregivers, anyone who works with children, are extremely vulnerable to this kind of retaliation and false accusation, and people underestimate how devastating it is to be accused.

A friend of mine was working as a pool guard, and was falsely accused of something disgusting by a 10 year old after he would not allow her to enter the pool area on her own. He was assaulted by the girl's father out of the blue about an hour later. It turned out in the investigation that she had gotten a lot of attention from her parents after reporting a real incident years earlier, and since that time got it into her head that this was a good way to retaliate and get her parents' attention in other situations. This was the third time she had made an accusation against someone who thwarted her wishes since the original real incident. And still the father lacked the objectivity to consider her history. The parents were woefully uneducated and neglectful, only paying attention to their kids when something bad happened.

I'll be praying for your sister to hold her head high and not feel shame. She did not do anything wrong. Sometimes the truth does prevail.

chloe&tysmommy replied: I am so sorry

Hopefully the truth will come out and your sister will be fully cleared very soon.

P & PT to her and your family

paradisemommy replied: ita with jeanne - my first thought was to get the other parents/coworkers to write some sort of letter to account for this lady's character/actions. big to you and your sister. i can't imagine having to go through that but know it would be hard being looked at in that way knowing you didn't do anything wrong but love your job and helping others. to that darn lady..i hope she opens her eyes and sees the truth and confesses.

3xsthefun replied: I'm so sorry to hear what is happening with your sister. I will be keeping her in my thoughts.

MommyToAshley replied:

How horrible! I can't imagine what your sister must be going through! I hope the authorities are able to get to the bottom of things soon, both for your sister's sake and for the little girl. Because if there is some wrong doing, then the mother's BF is still in a position to hurt this little girl. My heart aches for everyone involved. I will keep your sister and the little girl both in my prayers.

Let us know how things are going. This has to be tough on you too.

Mom2Boyz replied: That is just awful!! I hope everything works out for your sister. I'll be sending p&pt's her way.