Parenting Club - Parenting Advice, Parenting Message Boards, Baby Message Boards, Pregnancy Message Boards, TTC Messge Boards
Shop for Baby Items | Parenting & Family Blogs

Michael's Story - - Time to share and new information


mom2my2cuties wrote: Ok - I figured it was time to give you guys the full story of Michael. I have hesitated to post this because of the nature of the story - and the fact that it is so close to my heart. Bear with me please - this is long and hard to explain in some sorts.

I also please ask that you do not attack me. If you don't agree with my decisions I have made, that is fine and I respect that, but in all fairness, I will bet that 99% of you have never been there and don't know what it's like to be in that situation.

Anyway - here goes the story.

My ex husband and I seperated when Michael was 3 weeks old. Oddly enough we seperated amicably. There were no major blow ups. Just the realization that we really didn't need to be married for various reasons. Because of the fact that at the time of divorce, I was out of work and my mother was getting ready to kick me out, I let my ex husband take Michael becaues it was just best for him at that time.

Things worked out GREAT for the next 4 1/2 years. Then came our Christmas visit of 04. Started out where Michael was noticing women's breasts and comparinng them to his step moms. And would say he touched them and said that "she likes it." So I told my ex off and told him that is a form of sexual inappropriateness and he needed to cut it out NOW! Because I was going to the police.

Which I did. And they made the reports and stuff. Well then a few days later, I was having him take a shower and as we walked up the stairs, he looked at me and said "I have something in my butt" and I told him that was gross thinking he had to go to the bathroom or had gas. And he said "Mom, it's not gross, it's a key" And so I stopped dead in my tracks and asked "Where did you learn to do that?" And as calmly and naturally as if he said "I want a cup of milk" he said "Dad puts a "mybrator" in my butt all the time."

Naturally I lost it. We got dressed and went STRAIGHT to the police department. And they accused me of making it up to get custody. And then I didn't know what to do. So I called his doctor and they got him in as quickly as they could. And then filed for a restraining order, orders of protection, etc.

I got granted the Restraining orders and stuff in Texas. And then after a couple of months, the case got transfered to WA. When it got transfered it was rough. I got sent up there for 6 months. During the case in Texas, they sent him to a psychologist. The psychologist said that he was 100% telling the truth.

Well it turned out, the court case went from bad to worse, I was railroaded from the beginning because of bad choices. It got so bad and money simply ran out - that I had to back away from the case. Things were explained in a way that I thought every thing was ok. And I believed the explination. And while I don't normally doubt my children as they have never had a reason to lie to me about anything I did this time. I think part of me didn't want to believe I could have been married to someone who did those things.

Well because I backed away from the case. And through some under handed moves by my ex husband - I was told I have to prove that I am fit mom - Which is no big deal really - I have nothing to hide.

Well I haven't heard from my ex husband in over a year now. It was this time last year. I told him I would give him 1 year to get his stuff together because he was going through a divorce. And I understand how hard that can be and sometimes when you are that stressed out and depressed, it's not the best place for a child to be. I have talked to Michael almost every week when I am allowed to as he ahs been living with his grandparents with my blessing.

Well we have been searching for him and I have checked every avenue of of means to locate him. Well today my husband (who is an amazing man by the way and so supportive through this) finally does what he has been telling me to, he calls the Sherrifs department. And we find out he has been convicted of 10 COUNTS OF FIRST DEGREE CHILD MOLESTATION!

So, now I am sitting here tonight, beating the heck out of myself emotionally and wishing to beat the heck out of some people. I'm just stressing over everything. I know getting him back now and it will be easy as pie, but gosh, I am absolutely heartbroken over what has happend. And I am sorry I sort of dumped this on you guys tonight...I just needed to get it out and see if it helped my stress.

Thanks you guys for listening and for all the hugs and things I know you guys are going to offer.


luvbug00 replied: I think you did what you needed to and as a mother to have to go threw so many horrible things I feel so badly for you. i hope everything gets sorted out so your son can be in the best situation possible. hug.gif hug.gif

amynicole21 replied: Oh my! Who could do such a thing to any child, let alone their own?? bawling.gif Poor, poor Michael. sleep.gif hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif

mckayleesmom replied: Nobody would beat you up over that. Most dads who cannot take on full care of their child don't get an eyelash batted in their direction over it, but if a woman makes that choice they get judged. It shouldn't be that way. You did nothing wrong. You didn't know that was going to happen....like you said...who thinks the person they were with would do that to a child or anybody for that matter? Im glad that Michael is somewhere safe and his dad is paying for his crime...I hope he comes home to you soon.

lisar replied: hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif

Oh honey I dont know what to say. He has been convicted of it. Thats a start. I will not judge you in any way shape or form. Cause I do not know what I would do in that situation I have never been in it. I hope your son is okay. Again I am so sorry you have had to go thru this in your life. I just want to cry with you and give you a hug. hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif

1lilpeanut2love replied: hug.gif hug.gif I am SO sorry!! sad.gif hug.gif

mom2my2cuties replied: Thanks guys - I just needed to get it all out somewhere and I am beating myself up so badly, that I guess I just needed to spill it all.

I apologize if anyone gets upset or offended by this. I just needed to get it all off my chest and since I don't really know anyone here yet, I didn't have anyone to really talk to.

On the upside - it is going to be a cakewalk for the most part to get Michael back.

~Roo'sMama~ replied: hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif I'm so sorry! sad.gif I hope you get him back really really soon. hug.gif

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Tish I pray Michael is back in your arms soon. hug.gif What an awful thing for a mom to have to go thru. hug.gif

CantWait replied: Tish I'm speechless. I'm so sorry. Many prayers that your boy is found soon and with you. hug.gif hug.gif

gr33n3y3z replied: Tish you did what had to be done sweetie
I hope Michael is back in your arms soon
hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif

mom2my2cuties replied:
OH I know where Mikee is - I am just waiting for the legal go ahead to go get him. And for myself to stop the emotional rollercoasting. I am so angry and hurt and oddly heartbroken over the whole situation that I really don't know what to do.

punkeemunkee'smom replied: bawling.gif puke.gif bawling.gif dunno.gif I don't really know what to say...I hope and pray your son can overcome what has happened to him! He will be in my prayers and so will you as you try to work through this when he comes back to you.... hug.gif

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: Tish, I can only imagine how hard that must have been to type out. I am married to an attorney and I know how the little guy sometimes gets railroaded. I don't think you did anything wrong. You did the best you could and I pray that Michael is back in your arms very soon.

C&K*s Mommie replied: This will be a great new start for Mikee. Wishing & praying for the best with him.

No words for your ex. growl.gif

My3LilMonkeys replied: hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif

luvmykids replied: hug.gif Let me start by saying CONGRATS, I'm so sorry it unfolded the way it did but the positive is you'll have him home soon and he'll be safe and sound. hug.gif

ITA with Brianne, how many men walk away, even with partial custody, because they just can't "hack it"? You were in a bad situation and did what at the time seemed best for your son. Not many parents have a flashing warning sign that alerts them to not trust the other parent. I know you've fought tooth and nail through this, in the courts and in your heart. You are a good mother and it is not your fault hug.gif

MoonMama replied: Tish I don't even know what to say! ohmy.gif bawling.gif I am so sorry! hug.gif hug.gif Lots of P&PTs for the safe and soon return of your son to your arms. hug.gif hug.gif

paradisemommy replied: you did what you thought was in the best interest of your son..absolutely nothing wrong with that. you are a wonderful mother and need to stop beating up yourself over this. i think you have handled this wonderfully and taken all the action that you could.

my heart goes out to mikee..hopefully he will be back in your arms soon and you guys can work past all the damage your dumba$$ ex did.. hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif

amymom replied: WOW! TFS
Tish I am sorry this happened. I hope all goes well in the future and Michael is back with you soon.

hug.gif hug.gif
Prayers for you all.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Tish...you did nothing wrong. You let your ex, who at the time was the most equipped so to speak to take better financial care of your son... I'm sure had you been able to tell the future you would never have let him go.

Thank you for sharing. It must have taken a lot of courage... and I have a bit of life experience on the subject, so feel free to pm me.

hug.gif

3xsthefun replied: I'm so sorry. hug.gif hug.gif I hope that your son is back with you soon! hug.gif hug.gif

Sarah&Mackenzie replied: hug.gif hug.gif

redchief replied: I hope all goes well as you and your son are reunited and he learns what being in a great family really is.

lesliesmom replied: I am SO sorry this happened to Michael. I just don't know what to say. You did nothing wrong. You did all you could and what you thought was best. Now, all you can do is get Michael back and show him the love that he needs. Hopefully it won't be long. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family right now. Keep us posted on when Michael will be coming home to you! And STOP beating yourself up (I know, easier said then done).

mom2my2cuties replied: Thanks guys - I am trying to get over the beating myself part. Even the attorney has told me that.

I really appreciate the support and kind words you guys have given me.

boyohboyohboy replied: tish, i know it wasnt easy to share this.....i pray for u and michael..i hope u have him back soon.

TANNER'S MOM replied: Well I was raised by my father, when my mother couldn't in her cause maybe wouldn't take care of me. I guess in my cause it was the right decision.

I think the lesson to be learned here is for every mother to follow her gut. A Mom knows her child better than anyone.

I am glad you have found him. How old is he know? I will have him in my prayers b/'c I know for a fact that the road to healing after what has happened to him won't be easy. He will needs lots of help getting over lots of issues.

My question is while this was happening to your child, why did no one question where his real mom was and realize you had already brought a case against him?? That is the part the state should hae done.. you should have been contacted??

You know alot of people took shots at me for having joint custody of my kids with my ex. Alot of people still do. There are some weeks they spend time there more than home and some tiems the other way around. They wanted to go to school in his district, they wanted to play sports like he does, which kind of his area. Does it mean I am a bad parent. Nope it means that although we are divorced my kids still have two parents who try to act like adults.

So, believe me in my life I have learned not to judge a book by it's cover. No one knows the WHOLE story.

mom2my2cuties replied: Yeah - I think I learned that lesson.

My2Beauties replied: Tish I'm so sorry for the things that have happened to Michael and the hurt and pain this has caused the both of you. You guys are in my thoughts! hug.gif

jcc64 replied:
I know nothing about custody battles and family court, but is it possible to ensure that Michael is receiving ongoing counseling while the custody arrangements are worked out?
Tish, I am sincerely sorry for both you and Michael. I hope that his journey back to you is a short one, and that you can soon begin the healing process together. hug.gif

Boo&BugsMom replied: Tish, you were only doing what you thought was best for your child at that time. There is no way you could have predicted what was going to happen. Nobody can judge you over that. Hugs to you and many prayers that everything works out in the end. hug.gif

gabriella replied: Wow that must have been tough on you to write hug.gif

You have many friends here who care and respect you and know you're a good mommy. I totally agree with Jennie and Jeanne and wish you and your children all the best in the near future.

gabriella xxxx

Crystalina replied: Tish, there are a few things I'd really like to say and do to your ex but unfortunatly this is a nice wholesome parenting site and I can't share my thoughts. growl.gif growl.gif growl.gif growl.gif growl.gif growl.gif I wish only the very best a man like him deserves in the afterlife. growl.gif

How long until you can start working on getting Michael home? I'm sure he's safe where he is but there is nothing like a mothers embrace and I'm sure the both of you can't wait until that happens. I pray it happens fast. hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif

BAC'sMom replied: hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif I am sorry and I hope you get Michael back home with you soon hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif

mom2my2cuties replied:
See - I am not so sure he IS safe where he is. These are the same people who pride themselves on the "Great job they did raising thier son" and "He is just an innocent victim of HER (meaning me) ways"


rolleyes.gif



But honestly - it wont be long now - we are hoping that before Christmas.


Update -

I DID find out he has not been convicted - the lady at the jail misspoke...He has been charged, arraigned and being held without bail - His pretrial stuff is in November and the trial is set to start Dec 4.

Our attorney though that we are going to hire - still thinks that with the charge and all of that and the fact he is being held without bail - that there is enough information that something DID happen that we can still win.

Kirstenmumof3 replied: hug.gif hug.gif I'm so sorry to hear this! Just know that it isn't your fault! I hope the court catches up with your ex and he can be punished to the full extent of the law! My heart goes out to your little boy! I hope in time the wounds will be able to heal! hug.gif hug.gif

A&A'smommy replied: hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif I'm SO sorry to hear how horrible things were for you, but I'm very glad to hear that, that jerk has been put into prison!!! hug.gif hug.gif I don't think you did anything to beat yourself up for!!!! hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif


CommunityNewsResources | Entertainment | Link To Us |Terms of Use | Privacy PolicyAdvertising
©2024 Parenting Club.com All Rights Reserved