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Loving Two - get out the tissue!


Danalana wrote: I have been struggling with what every mother struggles with when she has a second child...guilt. I think I made a thread about that. Anyway, I came across this and thought I would share. Some of you might have already read it, and I had too--before I was pregnant again. Now it holds a whole new meaning...

I walk along holding your 4-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: how could I ever love another child as I love you?

Then he is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you’ve never shared me before.

I hear you telling me in your own way, “Please love only me.” And I hear myself telling you in mine, “I can’t,” knowing, in fact, that I never can again.

You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.

But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I’m afraid to let you see me enjoying him—as though I am betraying you.

But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.

More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.

But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two. There are new times – only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other.

I watch how he adores you — as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of his new accomplishments. And I begin to realize that I haven’t taken something from you, I’ve given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong. And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you—only differently.

And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you’ll never share my love. There’s enough of that for both of you – you each have your own supply.

I love you—-both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.


—Author Unknown


Gosh, being a mother is hard sometimes bawling.gif
BUT...I'm so happy to have another one! I know it will work itself out, but you have to understand what kind of person I am. When I was pregnant with Kade, I often cried about how the DOGS would feel when we brought him home! I just didn't want them to feel neglected--after all, I have had JoJo since he was a puppy, and he is 11. I know it's gonna be an emotional ride...but a good one.

Insanemomof3 replied: That is beautiful!!! And Dana, you will do great, you have so much love to give. wub.gif

ZandersMama replied: bawling.gif ans So true

A&A'smommy replied: bawling.gif bawling.gif This really made me cry.. its SO true.. SO amazing and SO hard!!! bawling.gif bawling.gif now i wish I could stop crying love2.gif

momofone replied: That is beautiful and i think you are a very considerate mommy. happy.gif

AlexsPajamaMama replied: bawling.gif omg Im crying so hard!!
Its so true...and a struggle we all must go through when we are expecting a second child.

jacobsmama replied: bawling.gif

Danalana replied: *passes tissue around*

moped replied: It is so true, BUT I know you will feel the same way I do now.....you CANNOT imagine what life was like with one - it does happen!!!!!!! biggrin.gif

my2monkeyboys replied: bawling.gif bawling.gif bawling.gif Wow - maybe it's just hormones, but I'm bawling like a baby right now.... this is so absolutely true....
Thank you for sharing. hug.gif

Danalana replied: I'm hoping it won't be so hard for us, since Kade will only be 17 months old when the new baby gets here. I'm sure he will be confused and wonder why I'm holding the other baby so much...I'm sure it will go well. As far as Kade is concerned, anyway. I'm sure I will be as emotional as ever. laugh.gif

sparkys2boys replied: bawling.gif That's so beautiful and so true. Don't worry Dana, you will do fine and I know that you have tons of love to share hug.gif


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