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Lord help me :( :( :(


KatieLeigh79 wrote: Well I'm on my 6th go around with Mastitis now, and his Ped. and my Dr. has told me I need to be done because yesterday alone he bit me to the point of blood on both sides 8x... and today he bit me and literally split my nipple and sadly he does it out of "fun" so I gave him a sippy cup with lunch and he didn't drink any of it... please tell me he will get the hang of this in a few days sad.gif sad.gif sad.gif I'm so at a loss, my hubby won't help me do this he has to work all weekend again and the Dr. told me the best way would be for me to leave a few days and have him do it - and he never can...

John is upstairs crying and hitting his head and making himself cry so hard he's almost sick and tears are streaming down my face bawling.gif I want to go rescue him, apologize and let him eat like I did yesterday when I was told to start this but now with as much damage as he's done I almost can't feed him or it would just be bloody sad.gif sad.gif sad.gif sad.gif what do i do to get me through this???????? I feel sick! sad.gif

A&A'smommy replied: OH hunny! First of all you need to calm down! I wish I had some advice as far as him going through this but I don't I Didn't get to bf I'm so sorry your SOO upset!!! (((((HUGE HUGS)))))

jem0622 replied: I am SOOOOOO sad to hear this. You will make it through. You really will. Honestly...the blood will not hurt him and your milk might be a little salty to taste for him...but it won't hurt him. Did the dr. tell you to stop nursing until you heal and just pump or what?

I got Mastisis when Nathan (now 4) was 10 mos old and my supply dropped. I never bounced back from it.

I cannot BELIEVE the behavior of your doctor! mad.gif

LOTS OF HUGS
Julie

KatieLeigh79 replied: I just don't want him to starve, I know everyone has told me when he's thirsty/hungry he will eat but I'm half tempted just to let him nurse but I don't want him to get a mouth full of blood :( I never wanted to nurse in the first place and now its all he knows *guh* hard to calm down ya know when hes screaming and biting the front of your shirt repeatedly :)

KatieLeigh79 replied: No both his Ped and my Dr. told me for as many times a week as he bites me and as much as I end up with infection that I need to just be done, he will be 1 May 23 and they said I did well for all the problems we have had in the beginning... just feeling faliure like atm :( :cry:

Kaitlin'smom replied: awww hon I am so sorry, if it were me I would try and feed him, I could never take the screaming cries when she wanted to nurse, so I always gave in. Do you stop when he bites you, tell him no, and wait a few minutes or more until you try it again. Kaitlin only bit me a few times and I woul dhave to let her cry a bit and tell her dont hurt mommy like that or you cant nurse, when she would calm down I would let her try again. You have probaly tried everthing to get him to stop biting....it was just a thougth that croessed my mind and what worked for me the few times I did get bit. I wish I has better advice for you. Oh I also take it he does not take a bottle?

KatieLeigh79 replied: He took a bottle once a night up until 6 months, then after the first infection I decided I wanted my body back and he freaked and wouldn't take one period after that.. So today I've been handing him his sippy cup and he just throws it and bites my shirt :'( God I feel helpless but I really can't feed him by nursing either being one of the nipples looks split in the middle im not even sure you could get milk out of it..... *sigh* Guess he should have human nature to though and if he gets thirsty enough he should drink...

coasterqueen replied: Have you worked with a LC at all? Have you seen this link on recurrent mastitis? http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/mom/re...t-mastitis.html I know many women who take lechticin (sp?) for such things. I almost had to with recurrent plugged ducts, but I was able to get it under control.

What are you doing with him regarding biting? http://www.kellymom.com/bf/older-baby/biting.html Maybe some tips in this link will help.

I've always had really good success with talking to Kylie about biting and giving her really cold things to chew on before nursing.

Do you have oversupply? That could cause a child to bite all the time because the flow is too strong and too fast for them to handle.

Is he teething?

((HUGS)) You are not a failure! I would use saline rinses on your biten nipple to help with the healing process and air it as much as possible. You can get through this!

jcc64 replied: It's not all that clear to me from your post if you want to stop bf or not. I don't think it's the dr's place to tell you when to stop, that can only come from you. Many drs are not as knowledgable about bf as they should be. There is tons and tons of info all over the web about bf, mastitis, biting, weaning, etc. As Karen posted, Kellysmom is probably the best site. Also try LLL (LaLecheLeague). They will hook you up with an online buddy who will help you with whatever you decide. Good luck, I know how hard this can be for both of you.

KatieLeigh79 replied: Well I had wanted to keep nursing but my nipple needed butterfly stitches to stop the bleeding before it even could be "fixed" and I can't pump like that and he really can't eat with as bad as it was bleeding - he bit me 10+ times in 24 hours and im wondering if that isn't a sign he wants to be done? Now im just panicking that he isn't wanting to eat or drink sad.gif

KatieLeigh79 replied: Well I gave in and fed him, and now everyone is against me, Todd is so mad he won't talk to me and even my friend in FL gave me this comment "you need to starve him katie, he needs to switch to a bottle/sippy cup cause you cant nurse him till he's eighteen" I was the one that was against BFing in the beginning and now I just can't starve the little guy being if he isn't ready for a sippy cup then why starve him? Now everyone is "dissapointed" in me, if anything they should be impressed - not many women do this with Mastitis in both of them or with one of them split wide open - boy my family and friends are great at making me feel like a faliure. I'm being told now that im "hurting" him because a good parent wouldn't give into his every wish......... Guess I get my pills refilled tomorrow to make the infection better and keep feeding him and just not complain if he splits my nipple again, just pray that he doesn't take it off or something...

Boy what a way to start the Easter weekend, not only does Todd work Friday and Saturday but everyone was so happy to hear I was starving him and now I'm suddenly a bad parent bawling.gif bawling.gif bawling.gif bawling.gif

Jamison'smama replied: Wow, that is awful--well you won't find anyone on this board telling you that you're a bad parent. I ABSOLUTELY think the opposite!! You sound like an amazingly unselfish mother who puts the needs of her child above her own. I hope you can continue to feed him, he does not understand starving--he just knows that you are the source of his comfort and food. Please find a lactation consultant or someone from the LL League and get some support in your area. Call the local hospital to get a referral or any phone book for the LLL. You need someone on your side. You have a lot of us here that will give you all the support we can. Good luck and HUGE HUGS to you!

KatieLeigh79 replied: Aww thanks *smiles* makes me feel loved smile.gif I actually had a consultant in the beginning, and the only woman that is around here for the LL is out of town atm, as long as I can keep him from biting we should be okay I just dread going to FL this week with him and Todd, his parents are so against this as well - makes me almost worried to go.... at least people here realize that a real parent will just suck up the pain and take it... made me feel special after he ate before he slept because he kept cuddling up and half asleep rubbing my back as if he was telling me thank you - granted he went 6 hours today without his boobies so im hoping that doesn't effect milk supply but im assuming if its not a normal occurance and we are back on track tomorrow as long as he doesn't bite one or the other off we should be okay...

Anyone want to trade husbands and relatives? smile.gif Or better yet just adopt mine and J.R. and I can find somewhere warm and sunny to move to *g*

Kaitlin'smom replied: OMG! mad.gif I am so mad at your family now, sorry but how rude! You are a wonderful mother and not feeding him for 6 hours is hard, i am actually glad you gave in, because he really does not understand why mommy wont feed him just yet and believe me it will NOT help him take a bottle or sippy cup. It took my sitter a good 3-4 months to get Kailtin to take a bottle, and she never tried when she was starving. We are here to support you and slap your family if needed, I say come stay with me....you so do not need the negitive imput of family and friends every baby is different, what works on some will not on others. (((HUGE HUGS)))) I would deffinatly get ahold of the lataction consultant as soon as she gets back, and find a way to get him to stop biting you.

Oh and if hubby is so mad then you tell him if you think you can do better than go right ahead......and let him know its his responsibility to try to bottle with him not you!

Sorry for my rampage.......dont mean to offend and if I did I am sorry blush.gif It was just reading how total unsupportive your family and friends are hit a nerve and made me mad.

jem0622 replied: YOU are the Momma here. YOU decide what you feel is best. Interesting how they can bash you but they aren't the ones there for him as much as you are. Easy to say 'just give him a cup' or 'just give him a bottle' when you have NO CLUE what a nursing bond is. NICE.

DO NOT ever ever say you are a bad mother for nuturing your child. It is a natural instinct. He will not get ill over the blood. I would encourage you b/c of the bleeding to at least get some nipple shields and some soothies to use in between nursing sessions. And I cannot speak enough for lanolin. Use it like butter. Okay, not as thick...but put a good layer on yourself. But after you totally air out after every nursing session. Do not use soap on your nipples.

If you want to continue nursing...then try to be keen to when he is done eating. Once he slows down for even a second then pull him away. If you can just be keen to this then it would help.

Now...you can pump and pumping is actually better when your nipples need to heal. But if he won't take a bottle then it may not fly. Worth a try though. Even if it is 24 hrs.

You will heal. Just follow the airing of the nipples, use lanisoh, soothies, nipple shields, and no soap on the nipples.

Do not let them get to you. That is no way to treat you (or anyone frankly). Let them ruin the weekend for being ignorant. You can just tend to your little one...AFTER ALL THE LITTLE ONES COME FIRST BUT THE BIG PEOPLE TEND TO FORGET ABOUT THAT.

It's clear what they already think of nursing (especially beyond age 1) and if they weren't brought up around that then they shouldn't speak on the matter.

HUGS

Julie

jcc64 replied: OMG, I can't believe how awful your dh and in- laws are being to you. Sorry for sounding so harsh, but in the end, it's YOUR body. Particularly the in-laws, who asked them?!! Do you tell her how to have sex with her husband? Would she appreciate that? Well, that's on a par with telling you what to do with your breasts. Politely tell her that you are doing what's best for your child, at great sacrifice to your own personal comfort, and that it is impossible to "spoil" a child of this age, especially when it comes to basic nutritional needs. You have to believe it yourself- if you're sure of your decision, nothing anyone else says will matter. As far as dh goes, you need to remind him that the American Academy of Pediatrics( hardly a fringe group) reccommends bf as long as possible- up to 2 yrs, for the optimal health benefits of his child. Not to mention emotional security and stability, which is equally important. When you're tempted to listen to this utter nonsense again, just remember the tender way your little boy let you know how much he needed you today. How much he appreciates what you are doing for him. And that should leave little room for doubt. Good luck, and keep posting- we're behind you no matter what happens.

A&A'smommy replied:
ITA!!! Good Luck with your in-laws! And don't forget that YOU are his mommy! Let us know when you get back how it went!

Jamison'smama replied:
...and that's what nursing is all about!....

Be proud of what you are doing!!!

jen replied: OMG (((((((((((((((((((A ZILLION HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I totally agree with everyone, especially Jeanne! I would punch my mother in law's lights out if she had anything to say like that, and I think fighting is REALLY unladylike! LOL! laugh.gif

Hang in there sweetie!

If all else fails and you need a break, hand them a sippy cup and screaming baby and leave for a few hours, they will be begging for you to RETURN with what he wants.

I can't stand Stupid People mad.gif

Elle replied: Oh my God, what rude relatives! mad.gif They have no right to tell you what to do with your body and with your child... You're not "spoiling" him just for breastfeeding him... You're doing what you think it's the best for your kid. Period.
You go, girl! thumb.gif

CantWait replied: ohmy.gif OMG SHAME ON THEM!!!!!!!!!!! How could you possibly stare such a precious face??? And bless you, you're a great mom for making the decision whether you wanted to or not to give him such a great start in life. I know what it's like to sit there and listen to a baby scream and tug at your shirt cause they want booby and NOTHING else. I have no advice for you as I'm going through the same thing pretty much (with nursing). I just hope that things get better soon and your family comes to their senses. I've come to the conclusion that I don't think you can spoil them with nursing and giving them their food source when wanted. GOOD LUCK!!

KatieLeigh79 replied: Thank you for such great support - just wish it was given around the house and from the family for doing this - smile.gif I told him the Dr. said it would require him to take J.R. for a few days and me leave if that was what he really thought we needed to do and he doesn't even want to do that so I will just keep nursing until he is ready to stop - or he bites the nipple off (god I hope not) I noticed today when he was going to try and bite down and got my finger in before he was able to... Im thinking that maybe why he is doing it is because he is full (being he was up last night and ate a lot he didnt even take 10 on each side this morning which is normal) But its funny it seems now that DH is still rather mad at me... He had to go in and do an extra project at work this weekend with the company being shut down for the holidays and all I had asked was that he let me take a quiet shower before he left for work so that he could spend at least a few minutes with John and he didn't even give me that this morning, then made some smart remark that I don't do laundry (I did 2 loads yesterday, he just likes to wear his pants repeatedly until I take them and hide them or he gives in and lets me was them) or tell me bye when he left - just kissed J.R. and walked out the door... is it just me or are guys at times a little childish? (Sorry TLCDad and anyone else of the male gender that reads this but at least that is what I find in my household) So I will just skip the house picking up when he takes his first nap... and go take a nice long shower and say oh well to the place... smile.gif You guys make me feel so special, which is great but im not sure thats a good sign on the home front *laugh* blush.gif

Kaitlin'smom replied: well not to generalise but yes most men do have there very childish sides, now I am not say all do, but most. Thankfully when DH used to do this when we were first married I put him in his place and I have not had that issue in a long time.

Sorry you have to put up with it, but I would ask him if you want me to stop nursing they why are you not willing to help your son make the transition?

and remember we are all hear for you smile.gif and we will support you in your decision.

amynicole21 replied: UGH!!@! I'm so angry right now I can't even really type mad.gif How dare they treat you like you are doing something wrong for taking care of the basic physical needs of your child! What animal in nature wouldn't??? Idiots. mad.gif

Hey, I'm in Florida. If your relatives get on you this weekend, just hop on down to Orlando... I'll take you in and we'll sit and breastfeed together all day long tongue.gif

MommyToRiley replied: I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time! sad.gif Good for you for sticking with it!!! thumb.gif I probably would have quit at the first sight of blood!! I almost quit breastfeeding, when Riley started biting. He would bite at least once each feeding! It was awful, I can't even imagine the pain you must be having! grouphug.gif The only thing that worked for me (to stop him from biting) was first to watch him while he was eating. When he looked like he was going to bite, I would take him off, and tell him "NO". If he did bite, I took him off and sat him on the floor and walked away for a minute. Then I would go back and finish the feeding, i would do it 2-3 times, then just end that feed. It made him sooo mad, but it only took a couple of times and he stopped. I still watch him toward the end of each feed, to see when he's done. Hope this helps! grouphug.gif

MommyToRiley replied: ooop! sorry that was so big!!! guess i dont know what i'm doing!! blink.gif

KatieLeigh79 replied: blink.gif Well as of this morning he was doing good at not biting, then this afternoon he went at them like crazy and broke the other one open to - now im at a loss *sigh* wish I had a supportive family so if it turns out he is giving me a sign he wants to be done then it doesnt require me being the bad person then as well and trying to make him switch over... sad.gif

DansMom replied: I read your post yesterday but couldn't respond right away. It really bothers me that you have to deal with such unsupportive people when already there are so many emotions involved when it comes to feeding and nourishing (physically and emotionally) your child and encountering serious difficulties in that area. I hope that whatever you decide, it is not in response to others but to your own instincts. I think you've done an amazing job. I would understand both the need to stop BF and the commitment to keep going. Either way, it's your body and your relationship with your child, your decision!

I don't know what I would do about the biting---it would really bother me too if Daniel did this a lot. Teething may influence how often it happens, but what is the solution? I wish I could help more.

jcc64 replied: Biting is really not a sign of readiness to wean. But he is old enough to learn that if he bites, you will stop feeding him. Firmly but calmly say, "No biting. Biting hurts Mommy." I usually put Corey down for a minute or so, during which she usually screams. But she quickly gets the message. I will then pick her up, let her try again, and if she bites again, I usually take this as a sign that she's not particularly hungry, and is just "experimenting" with her teeth, at which point I end the nursing session until the next feeding. Some people suggest that if he begins to bite, that you actually push his head closer into the breast, at which time he should instinctively un-latch to breath. Never, never pull him away, although that always seems to be one's 1st impulse, that's probably where you're getting the abrasions. Anyway, it's very clear that you are one dedicated Mommy, and whatever you end up doing, I applaud your determination to do right by your baby.

Jamison'smama replied: I don't know if he takes a pacifier but when Jamison was finished nursing she would play around (flutter suck) and that is when she would start biting--
I started putting her paci in her hand and now when she is finished nursing she takes the paci and puts it in her mouth--she may go back and forth between the two for several minutes but falls asleep with the paci or just ends the session.

Works for us--she is still snuggled in where she wants to be but she no longer "plays" after she is finished eating. I stuck the paci in her mouth the first few times to let her know that she could "play with it instead of me" now she just does it on her own.

That's what worked for us. Hope you find something.

I totally agree with the other posts about setting him down when he bites. We have done that too. He will learn that is not okay!


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