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License to have a baby?


DVFlyer wrote: Something I've always wondered, so I thought I'd open it up for discussion.

Why don't people have to have license to have a baby?

C&K*s Mommie replied: Why should it be an option or even a question?

Babies are supposed to be created out of love. In my mind, babies are from above too. There are so many cans of worms that will be opened even at the first proposal, if it ever came to that. Too many avenues, IMHO, pointing towards the negatives of it. Not a good idea in the least.

moped replied: That really would make perfect sense, you have to have a license to drive, a permit for htis and that, but anyone can go out and have a baby. Even at 32, when I had Jack I was scared that I wasn't going to be able to do it!!!!!!!

Jamison'smama replied: What would be the requirements of obtaining a license? Maybe a mandatory class on basic child safety--choking, carseats, not shaking a baby etc. would be fantastic!

luvbug00 replied: Ha I wouldn't have gotten one! but i see your point ( britney spears. cough, cough and a coupple other irrsposible parents i know ..not on here mind you) I say bad idea to many religous conflits and such.

Bee_Kay replied: While I have no opinion whatsoever about the "permit" thing (it just doesn't seen realistic to me.....

I do have an opinion about teenagers.

I believe that, in highschool, it should be a requirement to participate in a class that is much more intense then the "sex ed" classes that are there now.
"Real life" should be taught and drilled into kids' heads.

There are those mechanical babies ...... but from what I've seen, most kids see it as a joke.

I don't know whether or not it would do any good... but it sure couldn't hurt.

luvbug00 replied: i'm gonna jump in if I may. At my HS most of the girls took a parenting & child phycology and development class. in my class out of 15 girls, 15 were pregnant within the year end.. Not good. we had those dolls with the chip in them and they were bloody annoying!

BAC'sMom replied: Sounds like a plan to me. thumb.gif

lisar replied: I dont think you should have to have a license to have a baby but I think ot should be a law where a judge can take your right to have one. For instance there is someone I know who has 7 kids. Her mom has 5 of them and the other 2 are with their biologica fathers and she is pregnant again. WHY WHY WHY... She does crack and all other drugs while pregnant and they just take the kid and give it to her mother. Her mother doesnt do a much better job of taking care of them thats my opionion on the matter

Bee_Kay replied: My bestfriends boyfriends mother had like 8 children "back in the day". I think she is in her 50's now.

Each child has a different father and most of them don't know who their fathers are......

Anyways, she pawned all the children off on her parents.... her parents got fed up and were able to petition (and succeeded) the court for a court order which forced her to have a tubal ligation.

mom21kid2dogs replied: Oh! More legislation and government intervention~I'm all for it!! Look at how much cash the US could rake in~there'd be testing fees, licensing fees, renewal fees (just to make sure you still have enough brain cells to parent subsequent children, etc). I guess we'll have to sterilize those that don't pass. Think of all the start up businesses we could have~people to "train" you to be a good parent, people to helkp you pass the test, people who would have to develop & define "adequate parenting", people to study the effectiveness of the upgraded parenting system, people to monitor all the parents~geeze we could afford to pay way more in gas, too, with this kind of boon to the economy!!
Legislating education surely has "helped" the education system in this country! Why not parenting?

This question was tounge in cheek, right?

Cece00 replied: I'd love that, however I dont think it would ever come to fruition and it would be hard to enforce.

But I do think that in a way, its a VERY good idea, especially for teenage mothers.

Of course, I'd also like to see paid sterilization for "welfare mothers" who are on at least their 3rd child, or for mothers who have a drug problem they cant seem to kick but keep popping out children the system has to take in. But thats just me.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Not a license per say - some of us would have them confiscated. wink.gif (and i only mean by that... because of the conflicts of parenting - like formula vs breastmilk... cloth vs dispoisaable... CIO vs not... attachment vs not... and what the accepted options would be - if the "judge" is against CIO - she/he may be more apt to lean on that as a "form of abuse" - even though it's just a different style of parenting)

I am guilty of yelling entirely too much, i've smacked my kids, given them cake for breakfast - i know they'd take MY license away for sure. rolling_smile.gif

They should, however, offer a tubal or a vasrectomy for those who want one, free of charge. Like the poor families who can't aford birth control, for instance... or the idiots who'vebeen hauled in for their 3rd drug offense...pedophiles...murderers... ya know?

it probably costs less to do the dang surgery on one mother than it does to support the 2 or 3 extra kids that mother may have cuz she couldn't buy condoms or the pill... hello?

Jamison'smama replied: I agree that government licensing is not something that can be done with something like this but I do think it would be beneficial if each and every parent had to sit through a short session on basic child safety before leaving the hospital. In this state, we have a mandatory parenting class for divorcing parents, why not for new parents?

Cece00 replied:
This would also be awesome!!!

I dont think parenting licenses could (or should) cover things like BF v FF...but things like how to keep your child safe, what consitutes neglect/abuse , basic parenting skills, etc.

This is also mandatory in my state (parenting classes) for ANY teen on welfare (all the way up to age 19) so why not just for people in general??

I think it would be really helpful/beneficial for almost everyone.

C&K*s Mommie replied: Classes, would have done nothing for me, personally.

Being the dissenting voice that I have been for the last few days... It is having the unprotected intercourse and not thinking twice about it that is what is getting young people (and older people alike) in trouble. Sex education is shoved down the throats of our younger generations, but it does not seem to be having an effect- hearing of younger people being active is more commonplace now than ever. Even when I was in HS some 10+ yrs ago, people were active, even though we had mandatory sex ed as early as junior high. Parenting classes to me, would be useless. It all starts with the decision to proceed when things become well... more active, and once our young children are in the moment who wants to stop?

I am simply saying with all that rambling rolleyes.gif , that licenses, permits, classes are all useless. The decision to be unsafe and think that it is not going to happen to you happens all the time. The decision to be unsafe even as an older person with multiple children, happens all the time. Something just does not click.

Besides, how many people still ddrive with licenses, still operate business without the proper permit, avoid going to CPR classes or parenting classes even after having children? One instance of a woman driving on a suspended license is here on the boards today. Not debating anyone here, but I think that if we (the government and those we elect to power) cannot even come to a consensus on the most basic of things (i.e. education) then how can we expect to come to a consensus on this. I do not think it is possible, and I think it will be a waste of effort. Only those that are truly committed to providing the best life for their children, will be the final targets. The intended targets will avoid it, and continue to have multiple children with or without a license.

ashtonsmama replied:
dito.gif

ITA. Some people are so irresponsible, or just not ready...people should have to pass some sort of love test to be able to have a baby IMO!

I do agree with what you said, Nic...makes perfect sense.

C&K*s Mommie replied: Thanks, Amanda. hug.gif I was not trying to incite a debate or anything, by dissenting from the other opinions. We all have differing opinions, and I love to share mine when I have something to say about a subject. And I love to hear (read) others, too.

happy.gif

ashtonsmama replied:
smile.gif
I love hearing other people's opinions on issues, I'm not very good at presenting my views in my own words, but I enjoy seeing people who are good at it having fun debates (like Abbie or you, even though this wasn't really a debate)...
thumb.gif

mom21kid2dogs replied:
Because it insinuates that one has no ability to parent

Because it would ultimately have to "endores" someone's view or opinion of adequate parenting and endorse it as the standard for the masses

Because not everyone goes to the hospital to have/get a child

Because it assumes every family is the same and every child is the same

Because the more any entity assumes responsibility for your learn the less you are called to assume yourself

Because hospital staff are already overburdened and new mothers are frequently overwhelmed. Not exactally the best learning environment

Insinuates all you ever need to know about parenting you can get in one easy session.


Those are a few answers that immediately come to mind. cool.gif

Jamison'smama replied: Well I certainly didn't mean anyone who goes into the hospital--I meant those having babies.

I also don't want parenting views shared, I want basic safety information and/or resources provided. All families are different but the laws are the same for all. Information on where to send people for carseat installation, parenting questions or breastfeeding assistance, what are the signs of post partum depression, who to call. We have a 24 hour parent help line that no one knows about. I have had many people come through my court mandated parenting class that could have avoided the courts all together had they known some basic information. Most people want to be good parents.

I don't think it insinuates or endorces anything--I think it could be an avenue to share information that is not always accessed. There are social workers on the hospital floors however they don't provide information unless requested (in my experience)--not saying they are not busy--I know they are!

I think it can be done in a non-judgemental--everybody gets it kind of way. I would not have been insulted at all.

ETA. I agree that new parents are overwhelmed and if there was another time this information could be provided I would be all for it.

mammag replied:
clapsmiley.gif Couldn't have said it better myself!

gr33n3y3z replied: just what I would want the government in my life even more then what they are now telling me what I can and can not do I dont think so

DVFlyer replied: Good points everyone. I can't reply to everyone's comments, but for those who mentioned parenting classes, or licenses to drive.... this is where my train of thought was coming from.

Seems like there are SO many people who have babies that I (and, let's face it, doesn't it always come down to "I" ((you))? ) think should never have been allowed to procreate. Whether it be from a monetarily ready or emotionally ready standpoint or something else, it seems like there should be some sort of guidline to keep those who shouldn't have babies from having babies.

Government control (or more of it) is always a thorn in society's side, but with the number of stories of crack babies and babies being put up for adoption due to problems at home, it seems society needs another level of control in this arena..... although I don't think the government would be for controlling new births, since they are all new perspective voters... smile.gif

Of course, as someone pointed out, licenses, permits etc don't usually solve the underlying problem of the fact that some people are just screwy (my opinion).

So does this come down to proper parenting. i.e. if parents raised their kids differently, would they then raise their kids better?

Does it come down to the natural balance of life where there will always be good and bad?

Or does it come down to another useless post by DVFlyer. smile.gif

MyLuvBugs replied: I don't think there should be a license, but definately a mandatory requirement that you take classes on Parenting, discipling, child care & safety, Labor/birth, etc. Have it be like 3 months of classes that you are REQUIRED to take before your childs birth or the child won't go home with you from the hospital. And you have to pass the classes with a B or above grade. Sounds harsh, but it would force people to learn how to take care of the kid IMO. smile.gif

On the flip side, the more government regulation we have in our personal life decisions the more we don't have a personal life that is unique and our own. KWIM? That's why I'm not big on the license idea.

C&K*s Mommie replied: Parenting to me, is a fly by the seat of your pants, take it day by day and feel your way around. Every child is different (evident of my two girls) there is not a set standard of parenting. You can read all the books, take a dozen classes, and still when you get into the real world you may find it is totally different. I am a hands on learner, I need practical exp and not a bunch of lectures or exams in order to learn best.

Besides what would an instructor have to offer a parent or would be parent that they cannot already get from the hundreds of books out there now, or the millions of pages of info on the internet? Being here or being out in the real world gives me enough pat on the back to know that what I am doing is normal, and I am a decent parent. Not perfect, but I am doing the basics to provide my children with love beyond all love. That is where I think it begins. With love for yourself.

Government regulations, and the like will do nothing, IMO, for any of the targets.

Yes, there always will be good and there will be bad.

no DV, not at all. smile.gif happy.gif

mammag replied:
Again here we get to who is teaching what beliefs on parenting, discipline, etc.....

Also, who's paying for these classes? And not let the kid go home with them if they didn't take 3 months of classes? Where are the kids going to stay in the mean time?

I agree that there is a big problem with people who shouldn't be having kids but I would be highly against any kind of mandatory anything regarding having a family.

MyLuvBugs replied:
rolling_smile.gif It's not a useless post! rolling_smile.gif

Well, I have some opinions on this that will probably cause a lot of trouble, but I do think that if parents were more attentive and disciplined their children more that kids would behave/act differently and subsequently become better adults and parents themselves. That's All I'll say about that. wink.gif

I also believe that there are some things in nature that you just can't change. There will always be stupid people. That's why we have warning labels on EVERYTHING. laugh.gif So, you are right....there will always be good and bad when it comes to parents/babies/ etc. dunno.gif

MyLuvBugs replied:
It's just my opinion, and I'm not saying that I have all the answers. Obviously NONE of us do. But it's just an Idea, which is what DVFlyer was asking for in the first place. Our ideas/opinions/ thoughts on this subject. We have not been asked to SOLVE the world baby/healthcare/or financial crisis. rolleyes.gif Geeze!

C&K*s Mommie replied: no doubt about that. But that opens up a whole 'nother can of worms on discipline in the 21st century, and discipline as I knew it and my parents knew it back in the day.

MyLuvBugs replied:
I agree it will open a whole new can of worms. No doubt about that! biggrin.gif But don't you think that society as a whole and the way that kids acted was better back when our parents or grandparent were kids? I personally do.

I personally believe we've all become a little lax at being parents, and that some of the new ways of disciplining kids just doesn't work. It doesn't teach them a lesson, just how to be sneakier. smile.gif I'm not saying lets go and beat our children into submission, but the whole discipline spectrum is something that needs to be studied more and we all need to find a common ground that actually works. KWIM?

C&K*s Mommie replied: iagree.gif with ya there Erika. But it is a personal decision on how to discipline kids. Some kids do respond to the new age discipline, and in return can become responsible adults (thinking of the hippie generation and their spawn), some kids take more and thus the discipline should be tailored to that child.

Having a one size fits all idea, surely does not work. Christian for example responds better to talking, whereas Kellie does not. So the common ground IMO will not succeed. But be more attentive, absolutely! Then again, you have to realize that single parents make the best of what they can while working multiple jobs and thus cannot give thier children all the undivided attention. So again, it is tailored to the induviduals situation.

I think it goes back to if you see a problem with your child, no matter how you raised them from when they were babies to now, if you see a problem- face it head on. No matter how old that child is, until they are legal adults they are still under our wing, and they are still learning. Discipline does not stop at the teen years, and neither does the learning process. They still need molding even in those treacherous, hormonal teen years and evident of some of the stories you hear now of elementary children doing 'adult' things they need molding and reinforcement continually.

Facing the issue head on, and seeking help when needed and not turning a blind eye to your child crying for help is what needs to be done. All within your power to help your child succeed, is a commitment some fail to make. I do not know the answers, and I will never claim to, but there is a disconnect and it is troublesome and leading to more trouble as the days go on.

I will step down from this soapbox.gif . blush.gif blush.gif

Jamison'smama replied: It would absoulutely be impossible to have a one size fits all parenting class ---and unfair to force it IMO. We have all kinds of parents on the board. What they can teach in the way of discpipline is what consititutes abuse. In the state of ohio--anything other than 2-3 swats on the buttocks or hand with your hand is reportable as abuse, spanking a child under the age of 1, spanking a child with a developmental or physical disability or spanking using an object is reportable as abuse. How many parents really know that? Where can they get that information. It is not in books---I have parent after parent being required to take my class for spanking their adolescents with a belt (like their parents did) and leaving a mark--children are removed and it can be prevented. There are several of those kinds of things--when kids can be left alone is another one.

I would love to hear suggestions--not that we can do much about it here but I am curious and have been for a while where we can do the educating.

I agree--getting the government involved in anything else in my life is not my desire--so if not government, who? What about a home health nurse or social worker to visit families in their home after the birth of children to do this education.

ETA, I love this topic, very thought provoking and I have learned a lot!

~~*Missi*~~ replied:
not everyone can jsut "go out" and have a baby.... I know I can't just have a baby easy....

I don't think you need a permit or license to have a kid. I think people SHOULD be MORE responsible and take the necessary precautions if they don't want to have kids..... that includes abstience..... Make sense...
I think people basically should take repsonsibility for thier actions and be held accountable for them...
I would worry if the government got involved well then what's next they pick who has a baby, I think that is God's job not the act of the government they are invovled in our lifes enough they don't need anymore controll...

. I shouldn't have to ask permission to have a kid I am 26 and married. if Chris and I decide its time THEN NO ONE should tell US otherwise since WE are goin to raise it pay for it etc..... thats no ones business but ours

I agree with whoever said they are gifts from a god.... i agree..
Babies may not come naturally or easily to all but they are definetly little gifts from above smile.gif

~~*Missi*~~ replied:
AMEN nicole bravo bravo couldn't have said it better

You so smart biggrin.gif

A&A'smommy replied: I think in realitly it wouldn't be a good idea, it sounds like a great idea though


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