Jakob 2 yr appt today - could use some encouragement
boyohboyohboy wrote: HI! jakob had his 2 yr old wellness check today. first the good news. jake who was failure to thrive and not even on the weight chart for kids his age, is now at 75%! he has blossomed! he is very healthy in that aspect. his nutrition is greatly improved and he is strong. The allergies are being well taken care of and he is on the road to at least a possible fairly normal eating life.
today the dr discussed the idea that jake might have a mild form of aspergers disease, which from what i know is a type of autism. he asked us to have him evaluated by early intervention. jakob is behind in speech and some other developmental catagories, like socializing.
on another subject altogether, jakobs testicals have not disended. and he is going to have to have surgery for that. we are working with hershey medical center as to when and if it is not an emergency we are hoping to put it off till at least spring.
I hate the idea of him going thru something like that, but i guess its something that cant be helped.
I feel like this was a good visit though, i just keep praying that no matter what jakob goes thru we are always sent the people we need to help us handle what ever it is, and those prayers have always been answered. I just have to learn to be more patient and accept that help on God's time table not mine.
now as anyone who has been following this journay with jakob and I knows, I am so concerned now about the vaccinations and the fact that he might have aspergers. i had no idea about the vaccinations until it was to late and he had them..of course the guilt and blame is weighing heavy on me right now..
i think the only reason i am not in tears today is that i am working on the fright of possibly another surgery for jake.
i am calling early intervention today and thats where we are to start with the tests.
please say a prayer that jakob can soon stop seeing all these drs.
thank you
lisar replied: 
Calimama replied: My nephew has Aspergers. If you need to talk PM me.
DansMom replied: First of all, great news on the weight gain and managing allergies. That has been a huge part of your lives and it's good to get some positive feedback from the doc!
Not sure if this will help, but: Think of the evaluation for aspergers as just a chance to see if there are ways to support Jake that will help. The labels that specialists assign at this stage can be very imprecise and ultimately wrong. What matters is: will they have ideas for supporting Jake that you can use and that help him function well? Don't worry about the label. I've seen older kids who apparently "outgrew" such diagnoses or had a total change of label. There are a percentage of young kids with intense reactions to stimuli and obsessive behaviors. Some outgrow this and some don't. The word Aspergers doesn't need to be more scary than SID as you look for ways to help---focus on the tools. I know this is easier said than done. I'd be angry, sad and worried too I don't mean to minimize your feelings at all. I'd feel the same way.
I vaxed too, and often wonder if this triggered Daniel's development of severe allergies. There may be no connection whatsoever. We just don't know.
A&A'smommy replied:
lovemy2 replied: Great job Mom getting Jake up to speed on his nutrition and weight - see what you are doing IS working - keep that in mind when you tackle this next hurdle -
We have a kid here in Rochester who has Aspergers who became literally famous for his FIVE THREE POINT shots in a row during a HS basketball game - he was the manager of the team and the coach during the senior game (he is a senior) put him in the game just to give him the experience of actually playing - this kid hit FIVE THREE POINT SHOTS IN A ROW - it was wild, the crowd went nuts, he met the president, Micheal Jordan is making a movie about him....google J-Mac - Rochester New York and read the stories about him - it is inspiring - you will handle this hurdle like you have the rest - with patience and grit and you will get Jake what he needs - not that it will be easy but you WILL do it -
As for the vax - try hard not to waste your time worrying about something you really can't prove or know is the "reason" - there is no proof that they are connected - and even if there is you can't "blame" yourself - what if you didn't vax and he got one of the diseases you didn't vax against - life is full of What Ifs - concentrate on what you can control instead of what you can't
Many hugs to Jake for his upcoming surgery -
PrairieMom replied: You are doing a great job with Jake. Look at how far you have come! He is getting so big, and its because you are pushing for answers, and doing everything it takes to make sure your son is healthy. 
Don't think of these other things as obstacles, they are just a few more steps that you have to take. YOu are going in the right direction, and you are a great mom.
bawoodsmall replied: ditto
mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I think Tracy really said it best. I would be worried too, but there is support out there and specialists who will give you the tools to help him. Don't fear the label. You are doing the right thing by getting answers.
You know how I feel about vaccinations, so again, I would be doing the "what if" as well, but like someone else said, they have no proof, at least not yet. Don't blame yourself.
WTG on the weight improvement! You are doing a great job Stacy!
boyohboyohboy replied: thank you everyone. i think after the initial shock of hearing this from someone else, other then the suspicions running around in my head, was the hardest part.
i have known that something is just off with jake, but what ever it is does seem very sutble right now. i know that the behaviors might increase as he gets older.
i am counting my blessings that he is able to hold the weight on, although i cant take credit for that, that is divine intervention, there is no reason he should be gaining weight. he does not eat food. but he looks like a strong kid! i was actually afraid of hearing that he was over weight at this visit.
i am going to wait on early intervention and see what they say. i just tell myself that any additional help a child gets, is just one more person in their lives that cares for them. jake always enjoyed his time with his last OT, so i am sure that speech will be the same.
as fas as the aspergars, i am just going to wait and see. i can see some signs like the severe temper tantrums, the lack of social skills though, i am not so sure, he doesnt have social skills because he isnt with anyone other them me. we really dont know anyone with kids his age to have play dates and we havent allowed him to be in a social setting like preschool or sunday school because of his severe food allergies, we didnt want him to eat someone elses food and get sick.
his language skills do need some work, i understand everything he says, but i dont think that most people would.
he doesnt seem to have a repeatative behavior. he doesnt sleep. he is up right now hourly again, because he had to take him off the antihistamine for his up coming patch testing, and thats the only thing that helps not feel like his skin is crawling.
its hard, but for now we are focusing on the testicle issue. i am so praying for a non surgical intervention. i really hate the idea of him under going anathesia. i think thats the worst part. he has already had that twice in his life and i worry about the effects of that.
thank you for your cont. support it means the world to me.
my parents and my in laws just keep saying there is nothing wrong, and brushing it off as a typical 2 yr olds behavior and my dh is in denial, after all this is his little boy. so its nice to have somewhere to go and talk about how i really feel, because most of the time i have to put on a front for the ones who refuse to see that anything is wrong.
amymom replied: Oh Stacy, I think you and everyone else have said some very valuable things here. I am so, so pleased to hear of his weight gain. I know you will get through everything. I continue to have you and your family in my prayers. I am glad too that you can come here just to talk.
MommyToAshley replied: That's a lot to take in during one appointment. I am sure I would have all the same feelings you have. I know what it is like to second guess everything you have done and to blame yourself. But, you can't do that to yourself. I also know what it is like to question everything, but then know God is with you. Looking back now, I know when I lost Joshua, God put the people in my life at the right time to help me get through it.
And, the fact is, you've really done a great job with him -- you've had a lot to overcome already with the weight issues and the allergies. I think Tracy said it best, don't worry about labels... they can be scary. If you continue to focus on getting answers and the help you need, I am sure Jakob will continue to thrive. Hang in there and we're here if you need to talk.
boyohboyohboy replied: you guys are all so wonderful, you sure do know how to make a mom feel good!
mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: Stacy, I hope you don't mind me asking, but what were the reasons the ped suspected aspergers? Was it from a series of questions he/she asked you about his development during your visit or has this been an observation of his/her's from over the course of some time?
Boo&BugsMom replied:
boyohboyohboy replied:
It was actually me, I said that i was concerned about his poor speech, he has a lot of words, but they dont all sound like they should. and sometimes they are not words at all. and i only thought about it because caleb talked so well at this age.
then i mentioned how he throws temper tantrums, and hits his head on the floor, and is over the top when he is mad, and he hates other kids, he hits them for no reason. he asked me if he was hard on toys like that too, and i said sometimes.
but i think he just likes to see how things are put together and he does try to put them back together.
he said that kids with jakes type of allergies are often known to have this of disorder.
and he is very clumbsy, falls constantly, his eating issues were mentioned, he mentioned that some of the symptoms of SID were also the same as aspergers.
the sensativities.
so it was just a combo of all the issues jake has, he said not to get upset, that we just didnt want to wait till his 3 yr appt to deal with something if it is there, he wanted him tested, and to get help if he needs it.
he kinda asked him to do some motor skills, and follow command, and he turned and looked at him when he called his name..
i think mainly jakes issues are his tantrums and the behaviors..he wont listen and he seems to not care about consequences..
irae, you can pm me anytime..
mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I was thinking you must of mentioned your concerns with SID and your ped came to that conclusion, but I wasn't sure if maybe the ped just assumed from his own observation alone. Which in that case, seemed sortof premature IMO, especially from what is usually a 20 min visit. But it sounds like you had a very thorough appointment and voiced all your concerns, good job. I'm glad you're looking into it. Just like autism, it seems to be more often in boys than girls. I have two friends who's sons have aspergers. I wish I knew more about it. But from what I've read about SID, there are some very close similarities.
GL with the testicle procedure. I don't blame you for being worried about the surgery, but I'm sure it is common and the doctors have done it often.
And thanks, pm me anytime too. 
moped replied: You have had to deal with sooo much - you are a wonderful mom!
boyohboyohboy replied:
I just realized last night going down a check list of aspergers signs how similiar they really are to the SID, now i am not sure he which one he more closely resembles...i wonder what the odds are of having both? I was really interested in seeing that the sensory issues, like touch and his sentative mouth issues, where he doesnt want to chew meat, are also a product of aspergers...
i dont know if this is good or bad..
but it was interesting.
i am also curious to what the allergist has to say about all this and we see him on tuesday.
I hope in the end of all this, jake is able to feel good about himself, and i would really like him to learn to hug and love us. he isnt able to enjoy hugs and when you kiss him he pulls away. thats so hard to feel rejected from your own child. i am so looking forward to the day when he can say i love you, or just kiss us..or a hug.
MommyToAshley replied:
That's my dream and hope for you, too. I know it must be hard not to show love in those normal ways, but Jakob does know how much you love him. And, one day, I know he will be able to show you, but for now you I am sure you know it in your heart.
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