Parenting Club - Parenting Advice, Parenting Message Boards, Baby Message Boards, Pregnancy Message Boards, TTC Messge Boards
Shop for Baby Items | Parenting & Family Blogs

Is it rude not to honor the host's request? - (spin-off the no gift thread)


MommyToAshley wrote: In this thread: http://forums.parentingclub.com/index.php?...topic=70103&hl= some of you mentioned that it would be best to honor the parents request for no gifts. I took the comment on the invitation as they don't want any more toys (since Christmas just passed). But, I would feel awkward showing up to a child's birthday party with no gift, and liked the idea of a gift card. What would you do? Is it rude to not honor the host's request in this situation?

grapfruit replied: I think the best thing to do in this situation is to call the host (mom) and just ask her. Tell her you feel strange not bringing a gift and ask if you can make a donation in her daughters name to a local charity. Or bring a gift card. Explain that you think birthdays are something to be celebrated, so you want to at least do something special, but you completely understand not wanting more toys (especially this close to Christmas). I think donating to charity is a great idea btw.

holley79 replied: I would maybe think about a certificate for a play date to Chuck E Cheese with Ashley or something like that.

I would feel really weird about showing up with no gift to a child's party.

coasterqueen replied: IMO I would take no gifts (because we have no room) to mean toys, stuff like that. Let's face it the little gifts kids get for birthdays from friends are usually lots of little things, take up more space, etc. Think about it - parents aren't going to put on the invite "no toys, but gc's to places are great". KWIM? I think the idea Brenda had on gc's for places, etc are great idea and I know I wouldn't be upset if you did that when I said on the invite no gifts because I could let the kids use those gc's any time. They don't take up space.

Calimama replied:
I agree. I'd call the mom and explain it to her. Good advice Casey! thumb.gif

MomToJade&Jordan replied: I know that in the past if a Mom put that on the invitation I would get child clothes or a giftcard. I always feel weird when I see that and usually get something anyway.

luvmykids replied:
I like that idea best....can't really go wrong that way wink.gif

grandma replied: Well the host put it on the invitation plain and simple - no gifts. It's their party and I'd simply follow their wishes and not feel bad about it....

kimberley replied: i agree with just talking to the mom. if she is serious about no gifts, then ask if she'd be okay with bringing cookies or cupcakes or something.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: A gc isn't really a gift. I would buy a b-day card and put a movie pass in there. Or a free ice cream from your favorite ice cream shop. I wouldn't spend a lot of money. Just a small token.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Ditto. Gifts means gifts...not "toys", not "clothes"...but ALL gifts. IMO, a gift card is just that...a GIFT, AKA a present...that is why it is called a GIFT card. wink.gif There are many reasons people request to not have presents or gifts. Yes I would feel weird, but think of it this way...if you DO still bring something you are then making the others who chose to follow the request feel very awkward. You would also be not adhearing to the parent's request. JMO.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: What about bringing TWO cards with you? One that is just a card, in case you're the only one who has something....... and the other with the giftcard in it. It's not a lost gift...if you don't end up using it there, you can always give it for something else.

grapfruit replied:
I think you've done this before laugh.gif

Hillbilly Housewife replied:
nooooooo...... rolleyes.gif

I'm also the twit who has "extra" gifts at Christmas time stashed under the tree and in the trunk of the car for when we go somewhere, just in case someone brings one to us, or if, we go somewhere and seem to have "fogotten it" in the car.

Our Lil' Family replied: I think I'd give a card with a note saying that you'd like to take her to the movies, or lunch or something. Well, that's if you can tolerate this child! laugh.gif

grapfruit replied:
oOo! I do this too blush.gif Gosh is it let out your dirty little secret day or what?

holley79 replied: Dee what have you decided? When is this party?

MommyToAshley replied:
The party is this Sat... I still haven't decided what to do but I am leaning towards the movie passes and a cute note inviting him to go to the movies with Ashley.

holley79 replied: I think that sounds like a winner. Movie passes don't take up space. blush.gif

Crystalina replied: If it said "no gifts" then I would bring nothing.

If it said "no toys" I would bring something other then a toy.

If I am the hostess and prefer people I invite to not do something and they do anyway I would be upset. There is obviously a reason a hostess would say something should or should not be done.

Calimama replied:
Haha good idea!! thumb.gif

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: Okay, here's somewhat of a similar situation - we have our gourmet club this Saturday and on the invite, the host asked me to bring dessert. Very specific. Well I made dessert for our last event, so I asked my friend (not the hostess) if she wanted to swap with me so that she had a chance to make dessert. Doesn't seem like a bid deal, but who knows if the hostess thinks it is or not, right?? So instead of just going ahead and disrespecting the hostess' request, I emailed her and asked if it were okay I swapped with another guest. Did that make sense? So my point is, I agree with whoever said to call - IMO it's best to be upfront about it and just call the mom and ask if it would be okay to give a giftcard or movie passes before just going ahead and doing it. If she says "please don't bother", well than don't bother. wink.gif


CommunityNewsResources | Entertainment | Link To Us |Terms of Use | Privacy PolicyAdvertising
©2024 Parenting Club.com All Rights Reserved