I want opinions please....

Swood75 wrote: Ok..here is the situation...Kameron is playing baseball this year (1st yr of "real"baseball)and Chris (DH) is playing softball and his 1st game is Tuesday night at the SAME time as Kam's..He wants to go play and I think he should go to Kam's game..So,he is mad at me b/c I want him to "miss" his 1st game and go to Kam's..What would ya'll do/think if you were me?

MyBlueEyedBabies replied: Seriously?? sorry dh but kids game will always be more important

MoonMama replied: I agree Kam's game is far more important.

stella6979 replied: I would be upset too. Jeff and I both play softball, but if our kid had a game at the same time, our team would just have to find a couple of substitutes.

mckayleesmom replied: He needs to be at your sons first game.

luvmykids replied: Maybe down the line if he misses one of Kams games it wouldn't be such a big deal, but the first one is a must imho.

My3LilMonkeys replied: Honestly, and this will probably be an unpopular opinion, if you've made it known that you think going to Kam's game is the right thing to do, I think you should just go to Kam's game and let him do what he wants. I agree with you 100% that Kam's game is more important and he should be there, but he should be there because he wants to be.

My DH says you should pray for rain.

punkeemunkee'smom replied: I agree that he should be there! IMO tho if you make him be there you will just be more angry than if he missed it altogether-I know I would anyway!

Kirstenmumof3 replied: It's his decission! In the long run your DH will be the one that will have to deal with the aftermath. If you force him, it will just make things worse.

There are a lot of things that I missed with my children because I was struggling mentally or because Spencer was sick! I missed Claudia's first day of SK. I missed Emily's 11th Birthday. I've missed Claudia's Valentine, Halloween and Christmas Parties at her school. Things that I never missed with Emily and Spencer. I can't go back and change and I do regret what I missed out on. But there really was nothing I could do about it.

I'm not saying that this is the same situation. But just that in the long run it has to be your DH's decission!

moped replied: I might get bashed for this one BUT I say you go to Kams game and he goes to his game, why you ask? Well what other people said and because I am very used to doing most things with the kdis myself as far as activities go. Going to the park, zoo, weekends away, wherever.........my DH golfs and fishes. I mean Kams game is VERY important, but if your DH can't be there then you can! Trust me I am not thinking it is right or wrong, just my point of view

Also, I am a very independant person so maybe that is why I say that too

GO ahead and throw tomatoes at me

Calimama replied: I would let him decide. I'm not a huge fan of forcing him to go. I would still be upset that he chose to miss Kam's though. :/

gr33n3y3z replied: It is what it is deal with it and you go to Kams game and let your DH go to his.
Maybe bc we had to split ourselves so many times with the kids and their games plus make room for Ed with his work and stuff is why I can say that.

MommyToAshley replied: For me it would be an easy decision.. the same one you chose, Kam's game comes first. I would be very disappointed in DH if he didn't feel the same. I'm not sure what I would do, I guess you can't force him to go. But, I think I would let him know how disappointed I was.

redchief replied: When did baseball become a parenting must? I'm sorry, but this is nuts in my opinion! Baseball is a team activity and that's where the important lesson is here. Both of your men (the little one and the big one) made commitments to teams when they joined their respective leagues, and it's important to follow up on those commitments where possible on both sides. I really don't think Kam will be upset about DH playing his game so long as he'll be able to make other games. It's important for us to understand that games aren't parental "Have to dos." Had it come to that when my kids were of that age, those games would have become "Aren't going to dos," because my schedule was such a mess that oftentimes my wife, my parents and I were running around like crazy trying to keep up.

I'm assuming you're able to make the game. If so, then, no, making your husband miss his game for his son's is sending the wrong message to both boys.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: I wouldn't make my dh miss his game to see my son's. If I had a prior committment, I wouldn't miss it to go, either. No offense... it's just a game, and as long as one parent is there, it'll be ok.

msoulz replied:

This is an excellent point and a learning opportunity for Kam. There will be other games. I know most parents end up missing many games because they have other children in sports too, and if DH enjoys it, gets some stress relief and/or exercise, he is healthier for the family.

mommy~to~a~bunch replied: Kids come first! If your DH doesn't want to miss his game, I'd go to Kam's game by myself then.

grapfruit replied:
Actually I AGREE w/you (yeah yeah throw some tomatos )

In a way, it shows Kam that being part of a team is important. I wouldn't want him to see your DH let down his teammates by bailing out to watch his game. There will be other games.

I know it's the first game, and thus important. But in the long run, it won't be a big deal.

BAC'sMom replied:
Totally agree with you Jen. The child should come first If your DH doesn't want to go it's his loss.

coasterqueen replied: I see nothing wrong with voicing your opinion in a nice way to your DH that you would like to see him there, but if he doesn't feel he needs to be then it's his choice. It's his loss, if he sees it that way.

I know when Kylie had her 1st soccer game I was called at the last minute to work concession. I did not want to miss her 1st game but I had committed to helping out with concession and they had no one else to work that night. So I missed Kylie's 1st game. It made me sad, but Dh was sweet and recorded it and took pictures for me. I got to sneak away 3/4 of the way through the game to see her play which was nice.

Danalana replied: I'm like Jen...used to doing things myself. I have a feeling my DH eould miss his by choice to see Kade, but I wouldn't mind going alone...but I'm just like that.
If Kameron isn't upset by it, it's probably not worth being upset over.

Swood75 replied: Thank you to EVERYONE for ALL of your opinions... DH and I have talked about it some more and he told me it isn't that he "wants" to miss Kam's game,but he feels that since he commited to the team that he should be there..I can see where he is coming from,I guess I just really wanted him to be at Kam's game instead..It is actually Kam's 5th game (they have won all 4 so far) and he would like for him to be there but told DH it was ok if he went to his instead..I think my main thing is if he doesn't go to Kam's I have to hear my Mom's mouth and I don't really feel like getting into yet ANOTHER arguement with her..(That is another thread..LOL) and believe me,I LOVE going to DH softball games..I think another concern is that last year he had to miss a few of Kam and Kyleigh's (both played ball last year)games b/c he had a game on the same night and time..Ok,guess I am done rambling now..LOL

MommyToAshley replied: Ed, I see your point, and there are times that you have to miss things due to work or other children. Those things just can't be helped. And, while I understand the importance of having some time to do what you enjoy, I think it is important to realize that kids are only young for so long. I would give up any committment I had to make a game, play, recital, or whatever for Ashley. It really does mean the world to them, even if it is insignificant to us. Sure, they will survive it if we don't make it, but I wouldn't WANT to miss it. And, to be honest, as I said before, I would be disappointed if DH made that choice (if it is work related or an emergency then that is different). I don't want to regret or want my DH to regret missing out on these years that fly by. There will be plenty of "me" time when she is older.

gr33n3y3z replied:
I can see what you mean hun I liked when Ed and I could both be there but thats not the way life delt most of their games to us and its hard.
I'm sure he will make many others

For Kam's Team Keep up the good work

Danalana replied: I wanted to add a little perspective, FWIW...
I played softball, volleyball, and basketball. Neither of my parents came to ANY of my games (they were divorced), and that was hard. I played it off like I didn't care, but I would have loved for one of them to have been there. For me, the presence of either of them would have meant the world....so, as long as one of you are going (even if it is ideal for both of you to go), he will feel love and support. Again, just my 2 cents

stella6979 replied:
I agree with you. I'm all for honoring your commitments, but when it comes to something like softball, where usually they can always find subs, I wouldn't hesitate to miss my game. And I also agree with this statement "There will be plenty of "me" time when she is older." I'm not saying to never have fun outside of home, but when it comes to my child's activities, I'll surely do my best to make it to all of them.

redchief replied: I hope I wasn't misunderstood in my opinion earlier, but I think maybe I was. You see, it's not that I wouldn't find my son's game to be important. Heck, I coached all of the major sports that my kids played in, mostly because other parents couldn't find time in their days to give some wisdom and guidance to their kids. I even coached sports I knew nothing about. There were, however, scheduling conflicts that made it impossible to be at every game, even when I was coach. In those times I had to rely on my assistants. I wouldn't have missed out on my kids growing up for anything in the world, and I hear a lot of the same dads and moms (yes, moms) today looking back with the same regrets you're talking about. It was pretty obvious to me that the scheduling conflict in question here wasn't an oft repeated thing. I read in that Kam's dad is usually there for his son, which was what precipitated my argument that Kam's dad's commitment to his team was important too.

So, yes I get what you're all arguing about, but with that I also understand that sometimes you have to make a decision that you don't want to make because of a commitment you've made. I even understand Kam's disappointment that his dad can't make this game. It sounds like they have a great relationship and like to be near each other.

On another note... I can't remember the last time the tomato smiley was used! So toss 'em at me!