I could really use some positive vibes quick

coasterqueen wrote: Ryan is meeting with his mother at lunch today to discuss some things. I'll post his email so you can understand what has been going on since the last time I posted about this. I hope she gets the message with this email, that Ryan has the courage to stand up to her once he gets there (because he doesn't now, sigh), and that his mother finally understands that this is it, if she doesn't stop then she's out of our lives forever. This just can't go on. We've tried explaining things to Kylie too many times on every level and things aren't getting better.

"Just a pre-cursor: Kylie has been having bad dreams ever since she stayed with you last Saturday evening with Kirsten. She is talking about Satan and Angels from Heaven coming to Earth and shooting arrows through our heads, mine included, for being bad. She has woken up every night since Saturday crying over it and won't sleep in her own bed.

I am telling you this just must stop. You can teach her all of the good things you want about God and the bible but there are things a 4 year old just shouldn't be taught. It really upsets Karen and I when Kylie talks like this and it is causing her to be afraid all of the time. She has no reason to concern herself at this age with Satan and Arrow shooting angels. If things continue like this after each time she visits you I will have to stop her from coming over and I don't want to have to do that.

I think I am beginning to understand why so many different people of so many different religions fear Jehovah's witnesses and have great dislike for them. I think it is your methods of teaching. I just can't believe some of the things that come from Kylie and how scared and fearful she is of many of them. Things she just has no business being concerned with. This is another reason I quit reading that yellow book to her. The stories are filled with death and fire and brimstone and Gods rath. Things I simply do not believe a four year old should be hearing.

I know you have said you are filling a spiritual void in yourself by trying to teach us truth and mean no harm by it, but what it is doing right now is creating a lot of tension and discomfort within my family and I can't allow that to continue.

I only say these things because I do love you and I want you to continue to be a part of Kylie and Megans life, but if you can't work with me on some of this stuff I will be forced to make some very difficult decisions."

lisar replied: I am backing you 100% there are some things that she just cnat understand at her age. I hope everything goes well for yall.

TheOaf66 replied: wow so sorry your little girl was put through that, I agree she does not have to capacity to handle that yet. You are totally in the right and I hope "mom" sees the error of her ways. I hope your daughter gets better soon and has sweet

booey2 replied: Hugs and tons of positive thoughts and vibes your way. I believe that everyone has a right to believe what they wish but no one has the right to force or teach a young child things they are not ready for in the case of their beliefs.

MyBrownEyedBoy replied: Karen, vibes coming your way. Even writing that e-mail had to be hard, but I applaud your husband for doing it. I hope his meeting with his mom goes smoothly and her relationship with her grandkids is more important than filling their heads with terror.

DansMom replied: I hope he can be firm---poor Kylie! It seems abusive to me to frighten a child like that. I wouldn't be giving any second chances, but I understand the heartache of dealing with family severely. It feels cruel to cut off a parent; but Kylie's mental health is more important, especially with her advanced intelligence and imagination. I have a feeling this woman will not be able to stop, and will undermine you in quieter ways even if she seems to comply.

luvbug00 replied: ~~~~positive vibes~~~ poor Kylie!

mom2my2cuties replied: I am so sorry Kylie is so scared of this. You are 100% right, at the age your children are, they should be taught solely of a loving and kind God. Most religions avoid anything that a child could be scared of, and leave out parts of stories that are translated to young children as scary. I am shocked that your mother in law would be so graphic to a 4 year old.

lesliesmom replied: Positive vibes coming your way. How can someone think a 4 year old can handle some of those things. ITA, the positive is fine. But God's wrath? Satan? Arrow shooting Angels? A little far out of the concepts of a child. Best of luck. I hope she understands and steps down on this.

holley79 replied: Very well written. Vibes for you.

sparkys2boys replied: wow, that stuff is way to much for a child to handle.. yes kids IMO should understand God and religion.. but not to that extent. I hope that you guys can all work it out!! Good luck

coasterqueen replied: Thanks everyone. DH talked to her before, but apparently it didn't work. I told him this is it, I will be the one to cut her off if he doesn't get through to her today. I told DH there's no way any religion would teach certain things at her age and the things his mother have said to her are not something a 4 year old needs to know at this point. I mean, Kylie wants to celebrate holidays, but fear Gods angels will come down and shoot her in the head with arrows and kill her. This is absolutely awful. Although, DH doesn't completely agree with me. He thinks I'm being a bit harsh and thinks all religions teach kids everything about it at an early age. Um, I think NOT!

ETA: I think I am going to call my pastor too and see if maybe he can help me "straighten" her thinking out so she's not so confused and scared. I've tried, and so has DH, but I think I need the strength of someone more knowing than me.

grapfruit replied: IMO, I don't think "religion" should give you bad dreams. Maybe that's just b/c my church is a warm comforting place for kids. They preach just the opposite.

for you

And strong positive vibes. You are completely in the right.

amynicole21 replied: Wow - I can't believe the things she's telling her! I hope the talk works.

Boys r us replied: Good Grief!!!! I can't believe she would tell such things to a small child!!! To a child at all!

Good for Ryan!

sparkys2boys replied:
Karen, I think that is a great idea of having someone else talk to her a little bit about this . It may help resolve some of the fear issues. I still for the life of me can't understand what good she thought was coming of telling a child about santan and such???? IS she like this with everyone??

CantWait replied: Oh Gosh Karen, that's awful, I'm so sorry. I hope your dh can finally talk some sense into his mother. Sending lots of ~~~~Strength Vibes~~~~.

paradisemommy replied: omg..poor kylie...yep she is such a smart little girl, how awful to live in total fear of all that stuff. good for you and ryan for standing up for her - seems like in the long run she will be much happier without grandma in her life..poor baby..

gr33n3y3z replied: That is so sad hun and not right
That is one reason why I dont believe in others teaching my child religion bc of stuff like that.

I hope his mother wises up bc she has so much to loose here
I'm so glad your DH stood up to her

Boo&BugsMom replied: Wow Karen. Good for you for standing up to her. She needs to respect your wishes, especially when it comes to this subject. I hope she listens.

On a side note, I got into a discussion with Tanner the other day about "hell". I never told him the word though (hell) because he has a facination with words, so I just called it the "icky place". I am a person who thinks telling things like it is and being honest about things is important, especially when it comes to God/the Bible, etc. HOWEVER, I think there are more appropriate ways to teach kids about things like this. Kids can only grasp so much in their little minds and they take everything so literally and let their imaginations get the best of them. There are certain stories in the Bible I wont even tell Tanner because he wont quite focus on the moral behind it yet at his age, rather than the 'details' of a somewhat horrific story. I know to each is own, but there needs to be some common sense and judgement in what we tell our children. A child's mind grasp's things much differently than an adult's.

Good luck! KUP! Nice letter by the way. Very well said.

cameragirl21 replied: OMG, Karen, that is just nuts...why would any person with a working brain teach a small child things like that?!
but lol, forgive me for chuckling when i read Ryan's email talking about the arrows going into people's heads, mine included...very well put.
reminds me of what some crazy uber religious kids who lived across the street from us told me when i was very little--that i would go to hell because i'm Jewish...um, ok, i'll take my chances, thanks.
there's a prayer written for an incident like this, it goes, "God, please protect me from your believers...."
hope all went well at lunch, i'm guessing Ryan already handled this, give us an update when you can and hope Kylie gets over this "education" really fast.

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Yikes. I'm hoping it works out for you....

PrairieMom replied: how did it go? did he get through to her?

coasterqueen replied: Well, I hope he did. Who knows. She blabbed a bunch of sorries and crap and of course being a loving son, Dh believed it. I told him she gets one more chance. If Kylie comes home affected in any way, I am pulling the plug on it all. I WILL do it too. Course I'll look like the bad guy to Kylie, but that's not far from the norm anyways.

Maddie&EthansMom replied: I obviously think you guys are in the right and don't blame you one bit for feeling the way you do. It's a shame that she can't see that she will possibly lose a relationship with her grandchildren if she doesn't cut it out. I hope Ryan got thru to her too. In the meantime here's some