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I am so upset and sickened - 2 vents


MoonMama wrote: I went to the store early this morning with Braedin. While I was at check out this lady behind me starts what seemed normal chit chat. She started telling me how beautiful my baby was and asking how old he is etc the usual. Then she goes on the say and I quote "wow your so white your husband must be dark as night". EXCUSE ME!?! growl.gif growl.gif What is wrong with that? Now DH isn't but whats the diff? Then she goes on to say how I should be ashamed of myself for mixing races and oh my poor baby how confusing for him, and that know one will ever believe he's my child. mad.gif mad.gif I told this lady that she should be ashamed of HERself and that she was way out of line and to mind her own business. Then I walked out of the store in tears! bawling.gif I'm half German and half Irish and DH is half Irish and half Puerto Rican, and the Latin side does come out big time in Braedin but why does that even matter? I am so angry and saddened I want to bawling.gif all over again and I'm beyond mad! growl.gif

Then is that was not enough. As I am bringing Braed into the house my cell phone rang. I let it ring and once I got Braed and all the stuff in the house I looked to see who it was. It was one of DHs aunts, now this women never ever calls us. She has been against us since day one, wouldn't go to our wedding and has done nothing but talk bad about us. I find is so hard to believe DHs mom and other aunts and uncle were raised by the same parents under the same roof. ohmy.gif When she does happen to call I don't answer I let DH and have him call he back if he wants. And I had know idea she had my cell phone number. So I thought something might be wrong, so I called her back. She called me to tell me NOT to expect a gift for "Brandon" (yes you read that right) for Christmas. Because she was not going to send a gift for a child born to parents who should have never been together to begin with let alone be granted a child by god. growl.gif bawling.gif bawling.gif bawling.gif growl.gif Now this women has never even sent us a card and I couldn't care less to be honest. Why the heck would I expect a thing now. She didn't need to call me to tell me this she did it to be mean. I lost it at this point and told her off like never before. She hung up on me and I am sure she called DH but I have not heard from him yet.

growl.gif bawling.gif growl.gif bawling.gif growl.gif bawling.gif growl.gif

Why is everyone so against my baby?!?!? bawling.gif bawling.gif bawling.gif bawling.gif bawling.gif

How should I have handled these things? sad.gif

boyohboyohboy replied: I am so sorry for you. I know it cant be easy to take when people say such mean and hurtful things. I think you should just focus on the beautiful gift you have been given, and if other people dont want to take part in it, then its their loss.

I have no idea why people are that way. and frankly I am glad I dont understand their ways of thinking.

hug.gif

Boo&BugsMom replied: How should you handle these things? I know it's easier said that done, but just let it roll off your back and ignore the people who are trying to bring you down. There are always going to be people like this around and the only thing you can do is ignore them. Trying to argue or anything wont do any good because people like this have their perceptions and assumptions and will not turn around. I'm so sorry you had this double whammy of idiots coming at you. hug.gif

FYI: I think he's beautiful! smile.gif hug.gif And...I do think you did right by telling the lady she should be ashamed. I hope she thinks twice before she opens her big mouth to someone next time.

holley79 replied: I would be upset also but keep in mind your baby has two loving people that truly love him and there are more that will lovehim unconditionally also. Unfortunately we are surrounded by ignorance. hug.gif

C&K*s Mommie replied: I say let 'em talk all they want, nothing will change your & your DH's love for your child. As he (and any subsequent children you may have) grows up, they will be able to fall back on and remember the love that you two have for him (them) and can hold their heads up proudly against the wicked words of others. People who have negative words like that will come and go, it is up to you to not let them get under your skin. The sense of value and love that you instill in Braedon will be lasting. So let 'em talk all they want.


cameragirl21 replied: Ally, first and foremost, hug.gif , what people said to you is just plain awful.
i can tell you in my experience as a photographer, i work with A LOT of biracial children, in fact they've always been my preference because they're so exotic looking, which is the look i'm seeking in my work. you wouldn't believe some of the comments i've gotten when people have seen my pictures, most of them can't be repeated here because they were not stated in socially acceptable terms and at times it's brought me nearly into a fist fight (i'm not kidding) over certain things that were said.
most of my models are b/w or b/hispanic so obviously they have one dark skinned parent and one light skinned one...what i tell people is that having a dark skinned dad and light skinned mom (the usual scenario among my models) may be unusual for you (you meaning the person making the comments) but it's certainly NOT unusual for (fill in the model's name) and this may be a problem for you but it's not a problem for him/her and it shouldn't be a problem for anyone who isn't closed minded.
the fact is, people come in many colors and it's becoming more and more common for the races to mix, which i personally feel is a good thing because it leads to more diversity and less of the whole, "my color is better than your color" crap. if people have a problem with these things then they shouldn't have mixed race children but what others choose to do is no one's business.
i can tell you that my godson's mother doesn't think of herself as racist but she is vehemently against race mixing. she is my friend and all but i made it clear to her that she is not welcome on my set when i have my mixed race models working because they don't need to be exposed to her fifth century thinking.
i don't think i was rude but i was to the point.
if i were in your place, i'd be inclined to say something to the effect of, "whatever you may think of the decision i made, surely you won't hold it against my baby if you are a decent person and if you're not a decent person then i really see no reason for us to be talking at all. have a nice day" or something like that.
this topic of conversation is a major point of contention with me because there is nothing i deplore more than people saying anything derogatory about any of my little models just because of who their parents are. this thinking literally belongs in the fifth century and is evidence that not everyone in the world has evolved with the times. don't give people like that a moment of you're time, they don't deserve that much.
and btw, your baby is beautiful. wub.gif

luvbug00 replied: Oh yeah I've gotten those before rolleyes.gif . no fun at all . but you know what, they are just so ignorent . let them look like fools and don't let it get to you. If you want to get all religious though if God didn't want it then it wouldn't have happend. so phewey to them and you be happy with your wonderful family. ALL Babys are beautiful! wub.gif

gr33n3y3z replied: That whole everything just makes me so sick
How can someone say something like that to you? You took care of it much nicer then I would have hun that crap makes my blood BOIL.

And for family members to be like growl.gif

Those ppl. are a disgrace to the human world.

Dont let those ppl. make you cry bc they will have to answer to God!!

MoonMama replied: Thanks so much I really needed to hear that. It just bothers me so much that even today people are so closed minded and cruel. But you all made me feel so much better and for that I am truly thankful! hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif

mummy2girls replied: I know its hard but with things like that you have to just bite the bullet and let it slide!People like that are just inconsiderate and rude!!!!!

My grandma is big time racist (moms mom). And she took my brother out of her will because he married an african american! ohmy.gif aAnd then when they had kids she said to me that the only reason that N**** married your brother and had kids so then she can run off to arica and get child support! She said this in front of Jenna. So i said.. Excuse me grandma but her name is .... and she is not liek that! Then she disowned my mom for allowing him to marry her. Thsi was a few years back. now she is getting better and isnt so outspoken like that.

C&K*s Mommie replied: This may not be a popular thought Ally, but personally I would rather know (among people that I actually know) that someone has these negative thoughts than to have them smiling to my face, and at my girls (who are bi-racial) and having that disgust in their hearts & minds. But overall it makes no difference to me, I love my family even more than I already do after hearing that disgust from people, because I know I am not the least bit like them.

hug.gif

amynicole21 replied: Good for you for having the state of mind to actually tell her off. I would have most likely been speechless. We haven't really run into this yet (at least not to our faces), but I really don't know how I would respond. unsure.gif

The only thing that makes me feel better is that people with that much hate in their heart are totally miserable people. They will never know joy or feel true love. So be it.

NikkiM replied: How ignorant for Dh's aunt and that woman at the store. People really show their asses first when making those comments. They obviously have #@$@ poor lives to judge others.

Hugs darlin, your family is BEAUTIFUL! You should be so proud and hold your head up high.

I pray for people like the woman at the store and Dh's aunt.... stupidity is really sad.

hug.gif

gr33n3y3z replied:
I agree ppl. are so dang closed minded
Dont you let those ppl. bother you
you have a wonderful husband and a handsome little guy
hug.gif hug.gif

MoonMama replied: Thanks for the love hugs and support I'm really needing it today. hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif

The reason DHs aunt is so against us is because he is 11 years older then me and she thinks I married him for money and because he was stable. Which is complete BS! growl.gif mad.gif growl.gif And before I got pregnant I made almost as much as DH and was fairly stable myself before we got together, growl.gif but we all know dang well most people aren't really stable all the time. rolleyes.gif KWIM?

jem0622 replied: I am so sorry. Do not waste your time on ignorance. Just focus on your family. That's all that matters! They should all be ashamed of themselves!


hug.gif hug.gif

CantWait replied: Sick Sick Sick indeed. You told them off and that's exactly what I would have done. I can't believe there are still people in this world that think that way. mad.gif growl.gif

redplaydoh replied: Unfortunately there are those people out there. I agree that I wouldn't want to understand the thinking that these people have. Grow thicker skin and keep telling "those" people off... your baby is GORGEOUS and a precious gift from God. If God didn't want that baby, he wouldn't be here.

I had people making hurtful comments about my boys too when they found out they were conceived by IVF. So many people told me that if God intended for us to have children he would've allowed to happen naturally, that by doing IVF, WE were playing God. I would respond that if God didn't want me to have my babies, I never would've gotten pregnant and carried them to term.

It was so bad for a while that we don't tell many people now how they were conceived... not that conception comes up in general conversations now. But still people assume all the time that Bryan must've been an oops because they are so close in age and when we tell them there was no way he was an oops because he was conceived through IVF they get this shocked look on their face.

I even had one lady tell me my kids looked "so normal" for being created scientifically.

kimberley replied: hug.gif i am sorry you encountered such ignorance twice in one day. their behavior was appalling. they certainly should be ashamed of themselves!

Calimama replied: My mom used to get comments like that about me all the time. She never wanted to be "rude" so wouldnt say anything back. Good for you for standing up for yourself and that gorgeous child. wink.gif hug.gif

sparkys2boys replied: hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif .. i'm so sorry that these people don't have enough intelligence to see that your baby is a gift from god and no matter what race or color. Hun, ingore these people and don't give them a second thought. As long as you love your baby and your DH, all is well. As for his aunt.. you go girl.. I would of told her off to, imagine a family member being like that, just tell your-self that in some way she is jealous of what you have, a beautiful baby and a loving husband. It's her way of making it bad that you have things that she wishes for.

Kirstenmumof3 replied: hug.gif hug.gif Awwww I'm so sorry that these things happened to you today! My heart goes out to you! Try not to let what people say bother you! hug.gif hug.gif

MoonMama replied: Thanks everyone it means the world to me that I have such a wonderful group to come to who are so supportive and loving. hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif

PrairieMom replied: Your baby is beautiful, and those people are ignorant. Put them out of your mind, and don't let it bother you. It is not their place to decide what kind of creation God should or shouldn't make, and if you weren't intended to have that beautiful child, you wouldn't have him.
He won't grow up confused, he will know he is loved, and that is all that matters. Besides, who REALLY is full blooded anything at this point? My ancestors came from all over the place. I am full blooded American. wink.gif hug.gif


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