I am really needing support - my little vent/rant

PrairieMom wrote: Someone give me a good reason to continue to BF. I am really starting to get frusterated with the whole thing. Last week on vacation I was totally ready to throw in the towel. Miss ally got Thrush again, decided she would go on strike, and my supply dipped. Every time I get my period or ovulate my supply dips, pluss we get thrush about every 20 days, this last time it had only been a week. This seems like its getting to be a huge struggle, and BF is supposed to be easy!
Everyday I take 6 pills. my prenatal, a calcium suppliment, 2 fenugreek, the fish oil suppliment, and the GSE. Its like eating an entire meal of pills, all which I could quit taking if I wasn't BF. Not to mention the GV that I have to give Ally evey 2 weeks taht turns her purple for 4 days. Which BTW, has been shown to cause oral cancer if taken in large quanities. So there is one more thing for me to worry about.

So, with all this going on, and all this struggleing I am going through, am I really benifiting her? I know that she is getting anitboties from me, but my milk is also giving her problems.

I talked with DH about it and he says its a win win situation, I can keep nursing her and that is fine, but formula will be fine too.

I look at it like its a loose loose situation. My milk will give her problems, but I really don't want her on formula either.

I'm getting so frusterated. I really wanted to BF for a year, then when we started having these problems i thought I would try to make it to 6 months, but we are 4 months now, and 6 seems so far away.

Jamison'smama replied: Can anyone tell you why you are getting thrush so often? Is it ever fully going away? Maybe the GV is not getting rid of it. I had thrush several times and know how horrible it is but can't imagine it happening so often

If you are not getting answers from your doctor, can a lactation consultant give you any other suggestions? I remember taking fenugreek quite a bit, what does the fish oil do? Just curious.

PrairieMom replied:
I have recurrent thrush issues, that are being passed to Ally through my milk. They say its due to my Steroids I take for my asthma. I have been getting it every 2 weeks or so for about 3 years.
The fish oil is that DHA stuff that is in formula that is supposed to support brain and eye development.

boyohboyohboy replied: would you consider pumping and giving her breast milk in a bottle? that way she can still get the antibiodies and not the thrush, and you could pump when its convient for you and build up a stock pile?

is it possible the thrush makes has her "taste" off? kwim? if she goes on strike at about the time the thrush presents itself, maybe it coats her tongue and changes the taste of things for her.....so she takes a bottle better?

i would also just take it one day at a time, keep focusing on "if i can just make it thru today" and then when you do, its a victory, and then do it agian, i know that has helped me. if your goal is 6 months you only have 2 more to go, and she has done well, so there is no reason to think you cant keep going...and maybe if you turn to bottles, you could set aside a time each day, like each am, where you do breast feed her, so she learns thats when she gets you, i would suggest night time but with your work schedule, that would get interupted.

i hope that helps some?

PrairieMom replied: I thought about pumping, but I read on Kellymom that thrush can be passed though the milk, and I believe that is the case for us. I usually catch it pretty early, when there is only one small spot in her mouth, so I wouldn't think it would make her to uncomfortable, but her symptoms always show up a few days before mine do, so I think I pass it to her in the milk, then she passes it to my nipples. Pluss, when I pump I haven't been able to get enough milk for her. I told DH I was going to take it one day at a time. He thinks I'm crazy to be so determined.

boyohboyohboy replied: i know you said you take steroids, but would it be possible to stop for two months? i know you cant stop them cold turkey, but can you wean down some? if thats the cause of the thrush?
i dont know what your weather is like right now, if thats a good time of yr to do it or if it really doesnt have anything to do with it, or can you take an inhalor or something with less effects for two months.

i am sorry your DH isnt more supportive, i am sure from his side, it does look like a silly situation, but you are doing the best for ally.

if things stayed just like they are do you think you can do it for two more months? only 8 weeks?

luvmykids replied: I agree with Stacy, just one day at a time. I don't have any other words of wisdon, just do the best you can and if you have to do something else, hey, four months is great. Don't beat yourself up. But is there anything else to do for the thrush?

Kaitlin'smom replied: so sorry hun, I never had to deal with thrush so I have no clue about it. You have to do whats best for both of you. Are you able to take different meds for your asmatha, maybe one that does not have a steroid in it?

PrairieMom replied: I am totally steroid dependant. I can totally tell if I only miss one day. It would be completely irresponsible of me to quit those, it may even land me in the hospital, so that is out of the question. ( I tried to quit taking them last year, made it 2 days, and ended up doing nebulizers and all kinds of stuff. ) Darn Asthma.

I know that I can do this! I want to! I just don't know if its worth it.
I think I can I think I can I think i can!

CantWait replied:
Don't quote me as I may be wrong, but I thought that DHA was naturally in breastmilk, hence one of the benefits of bf. I thought that formula companies were just trying to mimick some of the natural antibodies in bf.

Sorry you're having so much trouble Tara. My only advice is that you know what's best for you. You need to do what's best for the both of you, and take the actions to make it work for you guys. Good Luck with whatever you decide. I didn't have to go through thrush at all while bf so I can't even imagine how fustrating it is.

~Roo'sMama~ replied: Tara I dealt with thrush (on my nips - the most painful thing I've ever endured next to labor ) almost the entire year that I BF Andrew, and I came close to quitting lots of times, but for me there was a light at the end of the tunnel kwim? And it did finally get better a couple months before I weaned him ~ although right before I weaned him it was starting to come back a little bit. If I had been in your situation where I knew something that I needed was causing it and it just wouldn't ever go away, I don't think I could have done it. Thrush hurts! And it's a pain. If anyone has a good reason for switching to formula, it's you!

Sorry this didn't turn out to be an encouraging you can do it kind of post. I'm not telling you to quit though - I'm sure you can do it and get through it just fine. I just don't want you to feel like you failed if you decide you just can't do it anymore. Maybe you can just try to stick it out until she's 6 months old and then switch to formula, or maybe it would be better by then I don't know. I have heard it's recommended to BF for at least 6 months so maybe if you did it that long you would feel better about stopping. Sorry if this is no help to you I'm kind of rambling.

Kaitlin'smom replied: sorry I have asmatha also but not as bad as yours.

YOU CAN DO IT. I am PROUD that you made it this far.

coasterqueen replied: I'm having MAJOR computer issues here at work and really don't have a lot of time, but I wanted to quickly respond. Even though I fear I'm not going to be much help.

First off with the calcium supplement are you taking the calc/mag combo like I mentioned before? What about Evening Primrose Oil?

The two for me REALLY help with supply dips during AF. And I have MAJOR dips.

I know what you mean about taking a ton of pills. I take 2 cal/mag pills, 2 prenatals, 2 EPO - all of which are horse pills, then I take acido every once in awhile, plus I have two other meds to take.

I really can't offer any more advice, than I have. Some people just get thrush. Have you tried going to Kelly's site and asking her in her support forums? Maybe she has more to uncover the situation than I have.

As far as if you should quit? I can't answer that either. I dealt with thrush for so long with Kylie, getting rid of it each time to only get it back again, that I just lived with it. I dealt with it for 7 months off and on with barely a reprieve. It stunk, but I did what I felt I had to do for Kylie. Each person handles things differently; doesn't make one person better than the other or one decision right or wrong. YOU have to decide what the right answer is for you and your family and one that you can live with. Plain and simple.

I, fortunately, only battled thrush once with Megan, so far, but I have dealt with a world of other probs with her. Major deep cuts have been my battle with her, suprising that I haven't gotten thrush from them.

MyLuvBugs replied: I agree that it's totally up to you if you want to quit or stick with it. We'll all support you either way. To be honest I don't think I could have made it as far as you have with all there probs. You're doing a GREAT job sweetie and months is only 2 short months away. Take it one day at a time like you said, and if you end up on formula...Ally will still be a healthy happy little girl.

Jamison'smama replied: I forgot that you were on asthma meds--both my kids are on daily steriods for asthma and we have not had to battle yeast except for mild cases on Jama's face when we did a lot of nebulizer treatments. I am so sorry you have to battle that I can't imagine--the times I went through the thrush, it literally felt like she was sucking glass through my nipple--then how obscene I must have looked scratching my breasts constantly I agree that maybe asking Kellymom directly on her forum may give you some other ideas if you want to continue. HUGS!

My2Beauties replied: I just want to offer and let you know even if you have to switch to formula you've given your daughter a wonderful gift for 4 great months. Whatever you decide, it will be fine.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied:
Ditto to LeaAnn! And I agree with your DH, it's a win win situation as far as the fact you have given her BM for this long and that she will still benefit from formula. You have to think of yourself in this too Tara. A miserable mom is not going to make matters any better. I encourage you to do what you think is best. But if you want my honest opinion, I would probably start supplementing. You said you don't get enough milk when you pump...so maybe add in a little formua during these times. You can do both BM and formula and see if the problem goes away some. In no time, it will be 6 months...but if you don't get there, it's OKAY!

BTW, I know how you're feeling. But just remember that we need to take care of ourselves too. I think kids benefit most when we're happy, kwim?

holley79 replied: I am so sorry Tara. I wish it would just go away for you.

Jamison'smama replied: Oh...I was thinking of you when I was watching The View. They were talking about chronic yeast and the woman raved about the healing properties of Colloidal Silver. I don't know anymore than the woman said on the show but it might be worth researching. She said it is widely used in Europe.

PrairieMom replied: Hey thanks! I have it on DVR, I will watch it ASAP!