How do u compromise?

CosmetologyMommy wrote: I want 2 kids. So I want another one. But dh informed me that we are done....no more kids.....not even one more How do we compromise? Is it only his decision?

kit_kats_mom replied: I'd personally give it some time. My dh was not interested in having another until Katherine had outgrown her babiness and was a bit less work. Then he missed having a baby around. See if he comes around in a year or so and if not, you guys need to work it out. Maybe a pro's/con's list that you two compare. ???

Hillbilly Housewife replied: Well, he may change his mind - and he may not.

Compromise is a little risky on this subject - since so many women "accidently" get pregnant on purpose.

coasterqueen replied: Good question. Not sure how to answer it myself.

DH and I always agreed on two kids. That's all I ever thought I'd want. Well now I'd like one more. He said no way, and that he was getting fixed after Megan was born. I talked him in to at least waiting until she was 2 to make the "V" decision. He agreed, but said he wouldn't change his mind. I've nagged him for a LONG time now about the possibility of a 3rd and now he says he may actually want another one. We still aren't going to visit the issue til at least Megan is 2, so another year at least.

Just tell him to keep an open mind. Tell him WHY it's important to you to have another one and find out exactly why he doesn't want another one. Go from there.

~~*Missi*~~ replied: ummmm that is something we discussed before we were married and quite honestly I think if Chris would have wanted one we wouldn't be married.

I have always want 3-4 so we just go with see how it goes if we want more after sabrina we have more. We do and are hoping to get pregnant and carry to term here. If we want more after that we have more.

I don't think its a one sided decision but don't really know if you can change his mind.

Tricking him is wrong and should never be an option cause in the long wrong that could ruin your marriage

MamaJAM replied: It's not his decision alone...but unless you are both in agreement about having another then you shouldn't. (Nice 'catch 22', huh? )

We had discussed having children, how many, etc before getting married and were in agreement even then. But - there was a time I thought DD#1 would be an only child....DH never pushed me on it (though he definately wanted more kids). I realized I wanted more kids as well...and we just took it from there.


edited to fix wording

luvbug00 replied: Been here.. And Brad wanted one and now that Mya is older and can almost take care of herself we decided to go for 2 in the fall. I would ask if you could discuss another child when your 1st is older and more independant.

C&K*s Mommie replied: I agree with everyone here as well. No, it is not his decision alone- but if he will not budge after some time has passed (like years), then that is the end of story. Chris will not budge period, after our girls and after many, many conversations and hopes he would give it a mere 'extra thought' it is still . So the subject is dropped, and I know it is the end of the story for us, until (hopefully) years from now we will reopen the subject of adopting a child.

1lilpeanut2love replied: WOW!! I have no advice. My SO and I both wanted children from the minute we first started dating. It was never a question. Once our daughter was born he wanted a whole bunch. We will have more but not for a few years. I am only just about 21 years old so there is plenty of time left. I think you are the same age. You are so young. I am sure you will have more. Maybe that is how he feels as this point and time, he may change his mind. God is the only one really who will decide how many children you will have and when!! Good Luck!

redchief replied: I agree with the advice given before me. One thing I haven't seen is the why your husband is dead set against another child. Is the reason financial? Does he not want the responsibility of raising another child? Does he feel another child would diminish, in his mind, the worth of your first?

When Lisa and I got married, she said she wanted six children. I was, frankly, relieved when we decided to call it quits after four. We've always been able to talk about our desires for the family. I think it's important to find out what his fears are so that you can discuss how to overcome them.

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied:
ITA! Hopefully he is open to discussing his fears with you...not always easy for my DH to do, but I think it will help. And ditto to what everyone else said, give it some time, he may change his mind down the road. My DH wants like 5 or 6! I'm thinking possibly three, but we will see after having our second.

Edward's Mommy replied: Well, since I was the one who had the swollen ankles (kankles ) and the one who was in labor for 29 and 1/2 hours and ended in a C-section, I told Chris that I get to make that decsion!!

Just Kidding!! We decided that we wanted to wait until Edward was a year and half to two years. But before Edward was born, we had a talk about how many kids we wanted. Chris only wanted 2 to start. I've always wanted 5 or more. When I was growing up, my dad stressed to my brother and me that we had to get along because we would only have each other once mom and dad are gone. Well, I want 5 or more because they won't have just one other person to depend on should something happen to any of the siblings. I've always feared being in this life alone with out my parents AND my brother and I didn't want any of my kids to have to feel that kind of fear. I also fear for my brother if something happened to mom and dad AND me.

mckayleesmom replied: Draw Straws....

~~*Missi*~~ replied: this must be in the air or something. I was lurking on a previous board (that i am considered satan on but thats another story) and they were discussing the same thing but 1/2 were fighting for tricking or trapping thier SO husband into the other baby whether they wanted it or not. I am like WOW. lol ya know cause I can't imagine tricking or duping my hubby into something that important. ok i am rambling...lol

either way it must be in the air or water or something

MM'sMama replied:


DH was the same way this Brice was about 2.

kimberley replied: not sure. i know i wanted one with dh but he wanted two.. we had two i agree, give him time, he may change his mind.