Going to hurt nosey people...

luvbug00 wrote: first off I am the last person to tell somone what to do with their lives or butt into a strangers bisness (sp) unless I'm asked. Why do people feel the need to do this to me?? I was in line at safeway today and the ladies at the checkout are aquantinces of mine and Brads mom ( ) so anyway one of them asked how old is Mya now? I said five she said " oh it's time..." Time for WHAT?? then they all start on how now is the perfect time to start ttc #2. I just polietly smiled b/c they know nothing about our recent losses. But really and then they start with the oh if you had another now it would be perfect and talking like they live with me and know my schdual. Then they are like well the clock is ticking.. I'm only 23!! I'm not mentaly ready to handle another pregnancy right now. How can I tell them to stop in a nice way? ( Yes, it has to be nice because I see them every day.)

C&K*s Mommie replied: I do not think that I will have any valuable advice to give, because I am typically a passive person. But is it at all possible to tell them (in short) that issues regarding your personal life are simply personal, sensitive matters really. Mention that you would respect it if they respected you, and kept their opinions to themselves. Since they do not know about the recent events, (with good reason-- they should not!) conversations that lead into any further children, or your "clock ticking" ((????)) should be left alone.

Basically, I say start off poilte, (since they are acquaintances) then come on strong if they do not take the hint, about staying out of your bedroom!

PrairieMom replied: I would go ahead and tell them that you have been trying but have had Problems. The lady would be so shocked and ashamed at the way she put her foot in her mouth. I know if someone came back with a reply like that to me, I would feel like a fool for a long time.

punkeemunkee'smom replied:
I agree here! Tell them you have had a recent loss....most people will realize how rude they have been and quitely put their foot in their mouth! If it is an innocent question I would never make someone feel bad but if they are going to keep pushing it then I would tell them for your own sanity! It hurts when people push the new baby issue when there is m/c history! Just because you have one child people tend to take it that it is easy ttc! I am sure it is not mean spirited but I know how sad it an make you! I hope that a your next conversation goes better!

My2Beauties replied: You know I know they probably weren't meaning to be rude but I would have perceived it the same way if I were in your situation. I think the others were right, I would politely mention that I had a recent loss and ask them if they could please not discuss ttc right now! Sorry hon

moped replied: I would jsut say "Oh, maybe someday",

3xsthefun replied: I agree with what everyone else said. You should just tell them about your recent loss. That should make them feel bad enough, and not say anything else about you having another baby.

redchief replied: Busybodies... Grrr... Isn't there a BINGO game or something that they're late for?

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied:
LOL!

I would probably say I have plenty of years ahead of me to try for more children, unlike you ladies I guess. No, I'm only kidding. I would probably just let it go Nadia. It would hurt me too, but I don't think they have to know about your recent loss if you didn't feel the need to tell them in the first place, kwim? No need to prove your point that way. Before we had Wil, I even had my Ob tell me that my clock was ticking...when I was only 28!! People are silly.

My3LilMonkeys replied: Personally, I would just politely tell them that when you are ready and God is willing, you will have another child. But then, I am very non confrontational and would just be trying to get them to leave me alone!

six_kids_at_28 replied:


That should clear everything up..and your only 23 as you said!! Ladies today are getting preggy as old as late 40's!! My mom had my brother when she was 41!! There is no rush for you, I'm sorry on your losses and hope it gets better with people

MM'sMama replied: If you don't feel you want to share whats going on......
ITA I would say....maybe some day and leave it at that...

CantWait replied: I myself would tell them that you had a recent loss and would prefer not to discuss the issue any further. I agree that this alone should embarrass them enough to be quiet about it and mind their own business. If you don't want to do this, I would tell them straight out that it's none of their business, and that you're young enough and have plenty of time. Just because they're close aquantinces doesn't give them the right to be so nosey.