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Feeling a little sad about PC lately - C'mon guys we can do this right


jcc64 wrote: I've been incredibly busy with work these days, but I have been popping on and off the board when I get a chance, and I'm distressed by how quickly things have been degenerating in some recent threads. My biggest fear is that in an effort to quiet things down around here, we will stop having the conversations alltogether, and that would be incredibly unfortunate. We are a pretty diverse group here, and where else in real life do you get the opportunity to discuss important issues that affect us all, and have access to such a broad range of opinions and ideas? We can ALL learn something from each other, if we stop being so defensive and really, truly LISTEN to what each member is saying, and remember that at the end of the day, we're all just doing the best that we can, we all love our kids, and we can disagree RESPECTFULLY.

Listen, everyone who's been here awhile knows I have been in the middle of some pretty colorful arguments. My views, compared with the majority of people who frequent this board, are way off on one end of the political spectrum, and that's led me into a lonely corner at times. In the beginning, it was hard not to take it personally. More than once, I wanted to flee to a community that was more sympathetic to my views, where it was more comfortable for me. And more than once, I asked myself why I felt it so necessary to justify myself to a group of virtual strangers.

But something kept drawing me back. Over time, I realized that these were the very people I needed to be having conversations with, lots of them. The main reason I am so distraught over the current political climate (Ed and I have spoken about this many times) is that we no longer know how to speak to people across the political and social divide from us, how to find any common ground whatsoever, to see things through the other's eyes. With our little board here, I really feel like we have the potential to be doing just that on a very grass roots level. And that's how things get changed- from the bottom up. I have lost complete faith in our political leaders to mend the fences- but I have total confidence that we can can that done here, if we remember a few simple truths.
1. We are all doing the best that we can
2. We all want the best for ourselves and our families
3. We don't have the right to belittle the choices or views of others, no matter how at odds they may be with our own
4. If we express strong opinions, we need to expect them to come back at us, and can't be offended or defensive when they do

We can do this, guys, it's important that we do. Some of the most bruising debates I've been involved in yielded some lessons and more importantly, friendships that have altered my life irrevocably. Dee Dee, Jeanie (so incredibly happy to have you back here), Ed,, Nichole, and Karen are all people that I have had EXTREMELY contentious arguments with, and I doubt we will ever see things eye to eye across the board. But underneath the differences and the passion, there is a connection, a realization that someone that is so very different, is actually wanting pretty much the same things out of life. We just differ on how to get there.

Anyway, just wanted to throw that out there, b/c I think it would be a shame if we stopped having the conversations. When I see my kids crying after losing a baseball game, I remember that's really the point of playing in the first place. Not just the winning and the fun, but learning how to lose gracefully, and come back and play another game.

1lilpeanut2love replied: very well said! I totally know what you mean! I have stayed out of those debates!!

luvbug00 replied: Perfectly put clapsmiley.gif

ions_momma replied: Very nicely said!

TheOaf66 replied: I am new here, but i don't have any problem with a good discussion as long as it is done respectfully, and no one knows everything about parenting etc and other viewpoints should always be welcomed. I am open for any topic of conversation.

C&K*s Mommie replied: oh Jeanne, I have said it to you before but you speak so well. You put my thoughts into words, when I did not even know how to form the words without babbling & how to say it well. THANK YOU!!!!!

I totally agree, I feel badly for anyone who has taken offense to words said to them, but like you I have felt dejected and alone in my thoughts in the beginning of coming on the boards. But I still put them out there. I have since learned that it is nothing personal when another does not agree with me. I will still give a pat on the back to them, and vice versa. No hard feelings at the end of it all.


Thank you. hug.gif

DansMom replied: hug.gif I agree, Jeanne. We have a lot to learn from each other, and we are the change we want to see in the world.

mammag replied: This brought a tear to my eye. I could have said it nearly as perfectly as that! hug.gif

lisar replied: Spoken truly. I agree with it all. If I have offended anyone then I am sorry I do not mean to do it on purpose.

kayla's mama replied: You hit the nail on the head with that. You have such a way of getting your mesage out there, I wish I was able to put my thoughts into a readable post, kwim!!!

Again, very well said wink.gif

gr33n3y3z replied: Jeanne

Ed said he agrees with you 100% and he will make a comment when he gets his computer up and running wink.gif

And I also agree

C&K*s Mommie replied: Usually I enjoy reading the disagreements between the two of you. But on this subject it is hard not to agree.

Bamamom replied: Well put. thumb.gif

And also a brief apology for starting the taxes thing and then abandoning it - I've been sick as a dog and haven't had a chance to get on here.

Might I also add one other thought? I think we need to realize that we are from different countries with different social and finacial workings. I, for one, did not take that into account when I started the taxes thread. I'm sure things work differently in other places. We all approach life with certain preconcieved notions that shape our views. In a situation like PC I think we need to make a conscious effort to let go of some of those notions. I promise to try and do so from now on.

A&A'smommy replied: Your are right jeanne!!! hug.gif hug.gif I have been pretty busy with life in general and not able to frequent the board like I use to so I have been missing out on some of the "arguments" but your right and I hope that we can keep things going nicely!!! hug.gif

CantWait replied: Jeanne I couldnt' have said it better myself. I have been thinking the same thing lately and have just kept my mouth pretty much shut. Things are really changing around here, and it's unfortunate because PC is like a second home to me. I really enjoy coming on here and seeing how everyone is doing, and lately that hasn't been such a joy. hug.gif hug.gif

mammag replied: Oops....just saw that I said "I could have said it as perfectly as that"....I meant I couldn't have. blush.gif

luvmykids replied: ITA with you Jeanne! Judge not lest you be judged, right everybody? Who's to say anyone is right or wrong? No matter how "right" anyone feels, another person is just as entitled to be "right" in their own world.

I think it is absolutely possible to respectfully disagree and I love that we can say our piece in one thread and give each other hugs or laughs in the next. hug.gif

C&K*s Mommie replied: exactly!

My2Beauties replied: That was wonderful, brought a tear to my eye too! See Jeanne this is why we love you here! hug.gif Thanks for that reminder.

MommyToAshley replied: Jeanne, thank you so much for this post. Although you and I are seldom on the same side of the political issues, I have come to respect you as a person, friend, and a Mom. I think it is wonderful that we can respectfully disagree on these issues and then come together when it comes to things that matter the most -- our children and family. I can't tell you how much our conversations, and your PMs, meant when I found out my Dad had cancer. I will never forget it and will always be grateful.

Although, I do have to say, there have been a few times lately when we have been on the same side of a debate. You always write so eloquently, and I can remember cheering to myself that you were on my side. laugh.gif

I am glad that you wrote this post because it really is the atmosphere that we want to create here. Sometimes things will get a little touchy, it's bound to happen because we are all human. But, we're a forgiving group here. We want everyone to have a chance to express themselves respectfully, and we hate it when we have to close threads. I am hoping your post will be the start of a mending process and we can get back to normal. Thank you.

hug.gif

ashtonsmama replied: Thank you so much for saying that, Jeanne. I feel 100% the same way, as you may have guessed by my earlier posts. Thank you for putting it out there. I hope we can all just let anything we may be disagreeing on go and move on in our friendships as a group. I love you all-you're wonderful people.

hug.gif

Boys r us replied: Jeanne, you and I butt heads all of the time when it comes to politcs..and in the beginning that was so hard for me to deal with, until I learned that we don't have to agree and yet we can still be friends!
I truly have the greatest respect for you and I couldn't agree more with what you've posted here. I often admire the way you think, even if I don't agree with your stance!

Anyways, Thanks!!!

mysweetpeasWil&Wes replied: I couldn't agree more!

Maddie&EthansMom replied: Thank you, Jeanne! hug.gif

punkeemunkee'smom replied: thumb.gif Very well said! You and I are also rarely on the same side of an issue (we have been lately more often wink.gif )but I too have come to respect what you have to say and even more look forward to reading your view-you challange me to know why I have the stance I do and for that I am thankful to count you as one of my PC (no pun on initals intended laugh.gif ) friends! I think it is good to disagree,even argue at times...it is one of the most precious freedoms we enjoy!

My3LilMonkeys replied: As always, Jeanne, VERY well put. Thank you for getting the idea out there!!

kimberley replied: hug.gif your eloquence never ceases to amaze me. thank you for being able to verbalize what so many of us feel. i definitely value the discussions on this board because i have learned so much. not just about hot button issues, but about myself. that is what makes this board so special. i hope we can put all the tension behind us and move forward as a closer knit group. hug.gif


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