Expensive Christmas gifts for kids - Or not.....

boyohboyohboy wrote: A topic today got me thinking....in a world where we seem to want things now, or yesterday....people seem to be buying their very young kids expensive gifts. I am wondering if kids get tv's in their rooms, iPods, computers, laptops, iPads.....at such early ages, what ,do you get them when they are teenagers?
And do they expect some thing bigger each year? How do you top yourself?

msoulz replied: My 12 year old does not have a TV or computer in his room. If he did we would never see him. HE has been asking for once since he was quite small, I don't recall when, because all of his friends have them (an exaggeration, not all do still).

But this year he was bugging for an Xbox around August, to which we said he has a birthday and Christmas coming ... didn't get it for his birthday and hasn't mentioned it in quite some time so I don't know if he is expecting it or not.

He also asked for an iTouch, to which I immediately said no, and his response was "you're really nice". I have since learned more about them and that I can disable the internet access, which is my main concern. So that is a possibility. But those things are so small and feel so flimsy ... and he has already trashed one cell phone and is working on the second. {{Which is another question - when to get cell phones??}}

But with either of these, the cost is so high that it is difficult to buy much more. Not much fun to open just one thing. And what the heck will it be next year??

And, for the first time today, my 5 year old asked for a phone!!! I told her they don't make phones for 5 year olds, and when she asked why (her favorite question) I said because she is never away from mom or dad and doesn't need one. Then she decided she could talk on our home phone.

So, for both the 5 and 12 year old there are no TV's in rooms, no computers/laptops, probably no i-anythings.

mummy2girls replied:
you can get them what you choose too... Just because you get them something expensive doesnt mean you have to top yourself always. Jenna will benefit with the ipad because of her schooling, therapy, and delays( not much anymore). I wont go out and get her a car when she is 16 but will instill in her that if she wants a car she will work towards one. We may help but it will be mostly her... So i guess it just depends on how you feel with yoru kids, what they deserve and what they dont.... Jennsa never asks or expects bigger things ever. She is a very unselfish girl and would be happy with a couple barbies. That being said then why get such an expensive gift? because if you know her eprsonally and see where she was 4 years ago to where she is now with everything she has overcome we want to give her something that she has earned.

Calimama replied: She's only 4.. so this question is probably above us for a couple years. She doesn't ask for anything other than toys and clothes. She does have an i-pod though, it was my hubby's before he upgraded. Music is a big thing to her. I've loaded some of her favorite songs and she walks around the house singing at the top of her lungs.

I don't feel the need to top any of what I get her the next year. I certainly don't sit there and think, "I got her 5 big gifts last year, so this year I need 10!". When a child starts to expect you to top things, that's where the problem is IMO.

My main thing is that I don't want Miabella to grow up being self-centered. I don't want her to have a major sense of entitlement over getting gifts (or anything really). But I think that comes down to parenting more than it does the number or size of the gifts.

boyohboyohboy replied: My kids do not have gadgets. They don't have tv's, DS, portable DVD players, iPods, computers....none of it.
My oldest is only 9. I personally don't feel the need for these in our family. We go with our kids were they go, so there is no need for a cell at this point.
We have a computer our kids can use in the family room, with supervision. We go to the library a lot, and the kids use there computers too. We have a wii, that we play together.

I personally feel I want my kids to know how to get along in a world without technology. At the same time we make sure they know how to use it and are not left behind.

I personally want my kids to be able to find happiness in life without needing the latest most expensive items. I hope to reinforce values that show working hard for things they really want, paying cash for them, makes them more valuable.
I had to learn those values late in life the hard way.

I don't condem anyone for doing it any other way, these are my personal choices.

my2monkeyboys replied: I agree with you, Calimama. We tend to get one 'nice' gift, ie a more expensive one, then a few small things (for Christmas). What we buy them is determined by what we think they deserve (as far a behavior, attitude, that sort of thing) and could actually be useful.
Last year we got Will a Wii. This year we're getting him a .22 rifle and a laptop (from Santa). Now a lot of people will think both are WAY too 'old' for an 8-yr-old to have, but when it comes to things like this it's not like we say, here, it's yours, do what you want.
As with the rifle, we all shoot guns and Will has been wanting a .22 since he shot my husband's over the last year. My hubby's is in need of repairs (it's over 20 years old), so we decided to get Will his "own". That being said though, it will stay locked in the gun cabinet along with his BB gun and will only be taken out/shot with a responsible adult supervising closely. The laptop, basically the same thing. He will be using it for some of his school work, and he loves to look for stuff on eBay, too. LOL
But again, it will not be sitting in his room with unlimited access.
And, no, we don't feel the need to top ourselves each year. We get things based on his interests and needs. It may be really cheap for us next year... I hope!

ETA: Will has also been wanting an MP3 player after seeing my nephew's. He's been shelling and selling pecans for the last 2 months to earn money for it... he's up to $130 now.

MommyToAshley replied: I do tend to spoil Ashley a little at Christmas time... I figure she is only a kid for a short time and so I spoil her while I can. But, that doesn't mean that she should act spoiled or expect nice things. She didn't really ask for much for Christmas this year, a pillow pet and some webkinz stuff or some science experiments... that's it. Although, she did ask to help out with 5 different charities and I told her that she should choose two and I would match (acutally double) what she contributed out of her allowance. I told her she could save up for the others or we could find others ways to contribute to those charities. For example, we baked cookies for the senior center. So, I think she gets what Christmas is about.

With that said, I would get a more expensive gift if I felt it were appropriate for her interest and age. She does have an iTouch and uses it for music, games, and homework (Music is a big interest to her). I was against getting it for her at first, but DH convinced me we should, and I guess he was right. I would never get her an iPad of her own at this age. Same with a cell phone. She has wanted a cell phone since she was little, but I think she's finally giving up on asking for it because she knows she is not getting one. She has a small digital camera which was also another good gift (but a bit expensive for her age, I think). However, she has shown an interest in photography and makes her own video blog.

So, I guess it comes down to why you are buying the expsensive gift... are you trying to out-do yourself or the Jonses, or is the gift a good fit. I was trying to think of a really good gift to get her this year, but we decided to get dressed up, go have a girls night out, and see the Nutcracker Ballet. That was our big gift this year.

mom21kid2dogs replied:
Answer: Just as soon as you get a job to pay for the bill like I do. She did it at 9.75yoa. She got a 70 person paper route. She is required to put half her $$ in the bank and the rest is discretionary funds. She makes a small fortune. In 4 months she has over $200 in the bank.

cameragirl21 replied: I wasn't sure if I should weigh in here and I'm sure I'll get bashed for saying this and I want to stress this is NOT directed at anyone here, it's more a collection of observations I've made, mostly IRL but I can't believe 8 year old (and younger children) are getting ipads and cell phones...what happened to barbie dolls and stuffed animals??
I just think it's a very sad world we live in where kids covet gadgets that are mostly designed for grownups, what's the rush to grow up all about? Man, I'd go back to childhood in an instant and it makes me very sad that children are so eager to get their hands on adult goodies.
what happened to kids being kids?
No kid of mine would ever get these gadgets, not if I were as wealthy as Bill Gates. It's not about denying them things or whether or not they deserve it, it's about preserving their childhood for as long as possible. Children are creative, imaginative, and curious and I don't think gadgets encourage any of these traits but being without gadgets certainly does.
An ipad and a cell phone are tools for a business person who is trying to keep up with the world in the daily grind, not for a child who still believes in Santa Claus.
JMO of course.

coasterqueen replied: I personally think you can give your kids these things and they won't end up selfish, self-centered, etc, if YOU bring them up not to be that way. You can give a kid nothing and they can still be selfish, self-centered or you can give them everything and they can be really good kids. I think it depends on the kid. Kylie is my not selfish one. Megan is my selfish one. Oddly enough Kylie has always gotten way more than her sister, too.

Most of those expensive things my kids have asked for and got they wanted because they were curious about them, others had them -- as soon as they got them they really didn't use them much. Luckily that was only with the Nintendo DS's. Yes they have computers, we have 3 laptops and one desktop in our home. One is a mini computer used for traveling for them to watch movies. Then DH and I have a laptop each, then there is the desktop used by all. Kids use our laptops too, but honestly my kids get on the computer to play webkinz a couple times a month and the only other time they are on it is for Study Island which is our school based website for studying.

Kylie is getting an iPod touch this year, but the girls already have been using our OLD iPod we've had for years. Megan will get the old one, Kylie will get the new one.

We have a Wii that my kids honestly rarely ever use except when I say "hey let's get the Wii out and either workout or play a game". I get it out to work-out more than we do to play games.

If anyone is spoiled, it's myself and my husband for all the gadgets we have. My kids may be spoiled, but not because the gadgets they have, but because I LET them be that way, if I so choose. Kids can act like brats without all the toys in the world. The learn to act like that or become spoiled, self-centered, selfish because they've learned it from us or we let them be that way.

coasterqueen replied: Oh and our kids have tvs in the room and playroom. Does that make them spoiled? NO. Especially since the only time they watch tv is right before bed for less than an hour or if we all watch something for family time. My kids would tell you they'd LOVE to have more tv time, but they don't get it. Having the tv in their room does not make them spoiled by any means. We have a tv in just about every room in this house, except kitchen but that's because I took it out of there to take it to work so I can have it there.

You can make your kids understand the meaning of money, of sense of pride for the things you have, etc and still have all those things

coasterqueen replied: double post

mummy2girls replied:
i agree.. its not the things that make them spoiled its how we teach them... Jenna will have the ipad and she used to have a tv in her room. we took it out for teh fact she never watched in her room anymore:) LOL... She is not by anymeans acting liek a spoiled brat! A girl i took care of in my dayhome got barely anything and thats because it is tioght at her house as her mom is a single mom goign to school fulltime. And she is a SPOILED BRAT meaning she acts like it, she thinks she is the queen of allt hw rold. that everything should be handed to her on a silver platter! So its not the things it how we parent them....

bluebear replied: My 11 year old cousin is so bad with a Christmas list. for the last 2 Christmases she's been asking for things that she just wants because others have it. Her parents can barely pay for gas and groceries, but she doesn't "get" it. My mom got her a Wii last year to give to her parents so it was from them, and she doesn't even play it! She wants a laptop, a Coach bag, and an ipod touch even though she has an mp3 player, but she just wants the brands. This is someone who doesn't listen to music or is allowed to use the internet. I got an iMac in the summer and I sold the ipod touch to a friend, and she got mad at me because she wanted it because everybody else had one. I would never get my child that if they suddenly sparked an interest 2 months before Christmas.
When I was 12, I got a Build a Bear for Christmas, a cd player, and gift certificates to Gap, and that was the best Christmas of my childhood!

boyohboyohboy replied: My question wasn't really whether or not giving kids expensive gifts makes them spoiled.....it's if you give young kids, say5-9yrs olds these large expensive gifts at such a young age, what do you then get them when they are 13-18 ? Upgrades? LOl

luvbug00 replied: Oh I should so bite my tongue...but I'm not.
Mya got a used 12" tv on her room at my house this year. At ten.
Any gadgets she gets from her dads family are in the trash as soon as I get my paws on them.
Excuses are to buy these gifts imo is solely so parents can justify spoiling thier kids.
No child should have a phone or laptop or iPad that is brand new.
Adults who have these things worked hard to earn the money to buy them. What do kids do? They don't put in 9 hrs or provide for others. Most of the kids here are rather young and not at the peer pressure stage. Just u wait until mindy has a sweet 16 worth 11grand and ur kid demands one. It may not be that exactly but as they grow its all about who has bigger and better.
Mya was a great kid, so was my cousin, so was her aunt. Good caring kids. Different parents, upbringing,financial situations.
Mya only haa the tv. Cuz I took away her touch.
My cousin nothing she didn't buy herself.
Her aunt has the latest phone, drives a BMW
Again all good kids. Now they just want to fit in. But each parent taught them differently. I hope to have Mya like her cousin. U want it, u pay for it. Only then I believe kids should have such expensive things.

stella6979 replied: I agree with Denise 100%! I never feel like I have to top anything I give her and she is a very appreciative 4 year old. She loves anything she gets, even if it's a page full of stickers from the dollar store
Avery does not have a tv in her room as I just don't see any reason too. If she wants to watch something we'll all watch it together in the living room and there is no way she will ever have a computer in her room...EVER! I am very proactive in being able to see what she is doing on the internet and it will stay that way until she moves out on her own. I do want her to understand technology but I don't want it to consume her and I do agree with Jennifer about kids growing up to fast and wanting all these "adult" toys. Avery knows how to use a computer and she will play the wii every now and then but she prefers toys and I love that about her. We got her a play kitchen this year and that is her one big gift. She is also getting the mobigo from her Aunt but that is as far as I will go with the whole gaming thing for right now. She does have a cheap ($15) mp3 player cause she loves her some music too.

my2monkeyboys replied: I think had we had these things available when we were growing up that a lot of us would have had them, too. Heck, when my sister and I were 10 and 12 we got an apple computer -- it had a green screen and we pretty much only played a baseball game on it, but we did have one. And we didn't work for it either - it was a Christmas gift.
As for whether or not we were spoiled, maybe we were a little, but we both went on to be responsible, caring adults.
As for the OP, I will never base gifts on what was bought in the past. Each year is different and presents are gotten based on interest (and of course price!), so just because Will may get a 'big' item doesn't mean he will each Christmas in effort to top the last one, ya know?

coasterqueen replied:

You did ask that question, but then you went on to talk about how you don't want to spoil your children and want them to learn certain things and to do so they shouldn't have these things. This is why I responded to that part of your post. I can't answer your original question because How can one really answer that question when technology advances every second. Who knows in 5-7 years what will be available for them, for us to buy, want, or need? So I can't answer that question.

ETA: And I never feel the need to "top" myself in regards to what I get them this year versus last year. I buy what my kids ask for that particular year, and sometimes I don't buy them those things. I don't buy them the latest and greatest to top what I did last year, especially if they didn't even ask for it.

moped replied:
This WAS alays my way of thinking.

Jack does NOT have a tv in his room or his own computer or a cell phone. He has a ds that he plays but not often. We have xbox and wii as a family.

I tried hard for a long time to stop technology but it is a way of life. I don't want him to have it all but I found that this is life.

I want him to be technologically inclined and know the ins and outs of it all, because this is how it is. If he is 12 years old and knows nothing about computers etc he will be screwed.

I have let me guard down a fair bit on this stuff.

He won't have a cell anytime soon. He won't have a tv until he buys his own and he won't have a computer until we can afford one or until I get these things. I just got a cell phone 2 years ago. the kids and I share a computer and nobody has an iphone, ipad or itouch. So until I get one, nobody will!

He mostlt enjoys his hot wheels and playing outside but still needs to know this whole crazy computer age too!

lisar replied: Lexi has a tv, laptop, dvd player, along with dish network in her room. She did have a desktop computer in her room until she got the laptop. She does have a cell phone but it is a pre-paid phone becuase I do not want to sign a contract for her just yet. Raygen has a tv, (no dish network though), she has VCR to watch nothing but movies. She does NOT have a computer and no cell phone.
Lexi is 10 and Raygen is 5.

Lexi recieved a $2500.00 4-wheeler for christmas when she was 5. However, I do NOT try and top myself every year, there is no way. This year I spent $200.00 and got them a wii. Last year money was a little tighter and I got them new bikes. This year I spent alot but its mostly on good stuff its not a bunch of junk that will get torn up in a few weeks.

I have no problem buying them nice expensive things as long as it something that I know they want or need and that I know they will take care of. lexi takes really good care of her 4-wheeler she washes it, and when DH changes the oil or anything Lexi helps him. She is responsible with it, always wears a helmet she follows the rules.
Raygen on the other hand, she can listen for nothing so it will be a while before she gets anything really nice like that.

let me add, the only reason lexi has a cell phone is to call me in case of an emergency the phone has no camera no nothing, nothing fancy. She gets 60 minutes a month and thats it. As for the desk top computer it didnt have internet she used it to play games on mostly educational games. Her laptop is something she got for her birthday from my Dh's parents. Yes it has internet cause I have wireless in the house, I have most everything locked down on her computer though. I also have it to where she cant use it past a certain time at night, it will shut her out automaticaly. As for an IPAD I want one!!!

cameragirl21 replied:
Here is the thing, and I thought about this AFTER I posted so I really should have added this--kids these days are growing up so tech savvy and web savvy that many high school kids are starting web based businesses and making millions before graduating high school. These kids understand the web (and I mean communicating via the web which is the "new" marketing for business) in a way that we (who grew up before the web was invented) never will. That is a HUGE advantage and I do think kids need to grow up understanding the world's technology, etc...I did NOT mean raising your kids like it's Little House on the Prairie.
However, in order to start a business, one needs to be creative, innovative, and adventurous and this comes with using your imagination as a child, not being a zombie in front of a computer.
Bottom line--I of course believe kids should know how to use computers, cell phones, etc but the focus in childhood should be on imaginative play, NOT sitting before a screen playing the latest video game.
I see many teenagers spending their entire lives online and that is imo SUCH a waste of teenage years.
What I mean to say is--no question, kids need to be able to use a computer and other gadgets of today but they need to view this as toys for grownups that they will use someday, not something to covet as their own in childhood. Mostly I'm sad that a child would even want something like this at the age of 8 or under as opposed to a doll or something to that effect.
Childhood is for play, not easing into the daily grind of grownups. I was stunned to realize how much time I spend in front of the computer and realizing that the reason I was never a fat kid is that I played outside all the time...everywhere I look, kids appear to weigh more than I do and I doubt they even know what playing outside is.
It's not about spoiling a child or anything like that, I have always been one to spoil kids with stuff that is age appropriate. To me, an ipad and a cell phone are tools for business, not toys for imaginative play.

lisar replied:
I understand about the gun, Lexi and Raygen both have BB guns and both have pink .22's. They ALL stay locked up in the gun safe in my room.

lisar replied:
Ask me again in 4-5 years when I have experianced it. Cause right now I have NO IDEA!!!!

lisar replied:
Jennifer
I do agree with you to an extent on this. However, Lexi has to know how to use a computer ven though she is only in the 4th grade. She is on the Tech Team at school that does the morning news. She uses a computer to edit all of the film and put it all together to show the next morning. She is the main one on this. I think it is great that she knows how to do something that I am not even good at. The kid is a WIZ when it comes to power point presentations, she made her teachers power point presentation for open house this year.
I agree, that kids should be kids, I 100% get that. But in todays society, they must learn how to use all of these gadgets in order to suceed. Although I do make mine go outside and play I dont let them sit and watch tv or play on gadgets at all.

cameragirl21 replied: also, I want to add that at a certain age, kids may need cell phones for safety, especially if they get home from school by bus or they walk and parents need to be able to reach them. I'm not saying no child should have one. There is a certain age where it becomes appropriate. If your child is rarely away from you (other than being in school where they shouldn't be talking on the phone anyway) then imo the child has not reached that age yet.
As for expensive gifts like 4 wheelers, if that's your family hobby then I think it's great--gets kids outside, enjoying their world. It's not about spending money, it's about the type of "play" these gifts encourage.
And as for cameras, well, it should come as no surprise to anyone that any kid of mine will have one if they show an interest in photography, not the most expensive model but not a "toy" either. Photography is a very creative field and any kid who is interested should imo be encouraged.
It's not about how much you need to spend imo, it's about what a kid will do with the "toy" in question.
Just wanted to clear that up.

mummy2girls replied:
Oh jenna is 8 and wants moxie dolls and such as well.... i just feel she will benefit from the ipad for school, her delays and such. Marcus uses one for the autistic child he has and that child has benefited BIGTIME!!!!!

luvbug00 replied: If they were so beneficial why doesn't the school buy one?
don't use the finances as an excuse..if a school sees the need they will move numbers to get such a product. like our school did to get special equipment for special needs kids.
I'm sorry but again is see using illness and issues as a cop out.
Pam (mya's aunt) was a generous kind child but was VERY sick, had speaking issues as well.. did tons of therapy, kid was a mess. Pam has spent and continues to spend more time in the ER then she does at home and her parents gave her the stuff she has because they felt after going threw so much she deserved it.
Now pam is a 19 year old BMW driving, cell phone talking, doesn't even pay for gas, entitled brat.
I'm sorry but these things (big expensive must have gadgets) are not there for kids. They are there for adults whom if they choose, can share with kids. They dont market to kids for a reason.

cameragirl21 replied:
Shelly, Jenna is your kid, you don't have to justify to me or anyone the decisions you make...as long as you're not breaking the law, you can do whatever you want as a parent.
Personally, if I had an 8 year old that I felt would benefit from an ipad I'd still not buy it for her, I'd get one for myself or for the family and allow her to use it as necessary. Psychologically speaking, there is a HUGE difference in a child's mind between using Mom's ipad or owning one herself. It's not a toy, it's not intended for children and imo it sends the wrong message for a child to own one. This is jmo and of course you are free to disagree with me.
As I said before, I see techy gadgets as tools for grownups, not toys for children. If I had the money to buy techy gadgets for any kid of mine, I'd be more inclined to spend it by taking them on a trip to China or Australia or Kenya or Peru and give them an experience of a lifetime where they can learn about other cultures and see foreign places. Kids should be eager to explore the world they live in, not rot in front of a computer screen.
As Lisa mentioned, some kids need computers for extracurricular activities they are doing for school and I see nothing wrong with that. It's when a kid lives in front of it and feels the need to own one as part of their aresenal of toys where it becomes an issue for me. It's not about spending money, it's about the message you send. My parents spent a fortune on years of piano lessons on me as a kid and I got something out of it that stays with me to this day. A techy gadget imo cannot truly be appreciated by a child and is something that will be long forgotten as soon as they feast their eyes on the next techy gadget they simply must have because the kid two doors down has one.

luvbug00 replied: ^^ like...

youngmomofone replied: Everyone knows how I feel about expensive gifts for young children , . I think it has to do with how I was raised up. Plus dh has strong opinions about it since he grew up really poor where he had to learn fast not to expect gifts on Christmas every year. I think that there are a lot of kids out there with entitlement issues these days. I guess I think that if I start them out young getting nice expensive things, that when they get older that the gifts of clothing and gift cards would cause a tantrum. I grew up getting TOYS until I was 11-12 when I got new clothing/shoes. I appreciated the clothes and shoes, and now as an adult I love it when my mom buys me appliances and things for the house that she knew I would love. I would be horrified if my children didnt appreciate any gift we give them.

mummy2girls replied:
actually Nadia they have bought them..The schools bought about a dozen of them. They provide to the ta's that work with special needs, and let the special needs ones and the ones with delays get to use them as part of thier programs. They just have to leave them at school. marcus gets one as well free of charge:) So they get one.
AND if jenna turns into a spolied brat that thinks she should get a BMW , talk on the cell phone, and not pay for gas... NOT gonna fly with me. She will earn those things. if she wants a BMW then she will work for one, if she wants a cell phone she pays for the bills, etc etc etc. Just because we get her one expensive thing doesnt mean she will turn bratty. She is 8 and this is the first time in 8 years i have done this for her. so its not like im continuily doing it. I am her mom, i feel she will benefit from it...

mummy2girls replied: this is the year we decided to give each other only one expensive gift and nothing else... maby stocking stuffers but that cheap dollar store stuff:) Jenna gets a Ipad, Breanna get a grand walkin kitchen which is regular 400 but toysrus had a huge sale that it only cost 200. and im getting a laptop, marcus not sure yet what as he hasnt decided....LOL. we get nothing else and we explained that to jenna and she knows this. As for the santa thing with jenna we got out of that one...LOL. and breanna is too young to really not understand christmas so she could care less.... next year our present to each other is the trip to disney world:) Thats taking us a year to save up for and my parents are going too. so we are spending christmas in disney world:)

mummy2girls replied:
if they dont market it for kids why are there a ton of kids apps to put on then?

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Same here...my exact thoughts as well.

We have an Xbox and are getting a Wii (already purchased and wrapped) for Christmas as a FAMILY present. Tanner does have a DS as well. In my opinion, those are fair things to have at their age. His age is the target age range for these things...they are marketed to his age group. Unlike iPads or an iPod Touch that are suppose to be geared towards teenagers and adults and are marketed towards an older audience.

I spoil my kids at Christmas as well, but I do not go out and blow the money on expensive gadgets. Tanner is getting a small video camera this year, but it was $20 at Kmart on black friday. Honestly, if I got him an iPad or iTouch or whatever, I don't think he'd use it appropriately. I just don't see how a kid that age could take care of something like that appropriately...even the most responsible 8 year old would not be responsible enough in my eyes.
Troy and I both JUST got android phones a month or so ago. There is no way my kid will have any 'latest gadget' if I don't have it myself! I don't think kids having all the latest things makes them automatically spoiled, however, I do think it causes them to take things for granted at an early age (and that goes for anything, not just gadgets). JMO.

With that said, I think it's important for kids to understand technology. Tanner's school is a STEM school (science, technology, engineering, math) and they focus a lot on technology. It's reality that we are becoming a very technological society and it's important for our children to know their way around computers and such. However...I do think there should be a line. As with anything...moderation.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Stemming from what Jennifer said, apps are usually made for kids because mom and dad 'allow their children to use theirs'.

A good example of this would be my phone. I have an android and I downloaded a bunch of apps for the kids on it. Comes in handy when we are grocery shopping and Aiden gets restless. However, there is a big difference to me in my child using mine for a short period, and him having his own.

So, you might see the children's apps, but you're not going to see the commercials marketed to that age.

JayQuick replied: It is amazing what we have done to a holiday that is about giving, we have turned it into a holiday about receiving. It is so easy to spoil are children that we now want to give them everything they want. My parents did it for me should I do it for my children that is a question I keep asking my self. I hope I can stop myself from turning Christmas into something commercial for my child.

mummy2girls replied:
no your not going to see the commercials but they are there and there must be a reason they made them... for kids:)

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Tanner is getting his first BB gun this year. My mom thought he was too young. However, it's not like we are going to just send him to the backyard to do what he wants with it. He will be taught gun safety, and it's the only way he can learn hands on. In a few years he'll be going hunting with Troy, and if he's going to go he needs to learn somehow. The BB gun will be kept somewhere safe, unloaded, and he will not be able to practice with it without an adult around.

Boo&BugsMom replied: [QUOTE=mummy2girls,Dec 14 2010, 01:53 PM] [QUOTE=Boo&BugsMom,Dec 14 2010, 02:45 PM] [QUOTE=mummy2girls,Dec 14 2010, 01:21 PM] [QUOTE=mummy2girls,Dec 14 2010, 02:01 PM] They dont market to kids for a reason. [/QUOTE]
[/QUOTE]
if they dont market it for kids why are there a ton of kids apps to put on then? [/QUOTE]
Stemming from what Jennifer said, apps are usually made for kids because mom and dad 'allow their children to use theirs'.

A good example of this would be my phone. I have an android and I downloaded a bunch of apps for the kids on it. Comes in handy when we are grocery shopping and Aiden gets restless. However, there is a big difference to me in my child using mine for a short period, and him having his own.

So, you might see the children's apps, but you're not going to see the commercials marketed to that age. [/QUOTE]
no your not going to see the commercials but they are there and there must be a reason they made them... for kids:) [/QUOTE]


Yes I agree, but my point was that there is a difference between a kid having their own and a kid using their parents. The fact is that they aren't 'marketed' for kids by the company.

I'm not saying it's wrong for kids to have such things...only making factual points. Lord knows my kids have more than what they truly 'need'. lol

moped replied:
Yeah Shelly, the school should buy one if htey are beneficial to children with delays - never thought of that!

mummy2girls replied:
and i responded to that as well.
The school board has bought a dozen of them for marcus's school he works at.And probably many other schools. They are given to the TA's that work with the special needs and the ones with delays. Its part of thier programming. The kids dont take them home the Ta's have to keep them locked in thier classrooms... But yes they do:)

moped replied:
I think that is great!!!!!!!!

coasterqueen replied: The whole "kids shouldn't have it because it's not marketed towards them"......are guns and 4-wheelers TRULY marketed towards kids? I mean, when was the last time you saw an ad on tv for those things? Of course I don't have to worry about whats marketed towards my kids because they rarely ever get to watch tv, so my decisions on what I get my children have nothing to do with what is marketed towards them, meant for them, etc. An iphone, ipad, ipod touch is no less marketed for kids than computers.

Seriously, I think it's much more ridiculous that adults feel they need to have these things that we have. We are worse than children any day, but it's funny how we can sit here and talk about this as if it's a life threatening issue for our children and yet look at how many hours are spent on the computer/internet by adults.

My children have all kinds of gadgets. Do they spend ungodly amounts of time on them? No. They have so many other interests and are very well rounded to where they don't need to do so or want to do so. Gadgets don't make them this or that. Heck, replace gadgets with 50 dolls or trucks, same thing.....excess of something, IMO.

I dunno, I know I still would be saying this if my kids didn't have gadgets.

lisar replied:
Guns NO, 4-wheelers YES! There are commercials that show kids riding age appropriate 4-wheelers. There are commercials showing chest guards, and riding gear for kids. Lexi gets a magazine every month with this stuff in it also, so yes it is marketed towards kids her age.
As for me buying her a 4-wheeler, yes that was my decision to get it for her. However, as a family we go out to the national forest and ride them on the trail systems, she loves it. It made sense to let her have her own. Raygen is 5 now at the same age as Lexi when she got hers, but there is no way in this world I would buy Raygen one right now. She is not responsible enough for anything like that.
Lexi is responsible for things like that, she is smarter than some adults I know.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Actually, the BB gun we got Tanner says for 8 (or could be 9) and up. There may not be commercials for it, but setting the age on the box is still 'marketing' for the said age group.

ETA: It also says in big bold letters..."Take it outside" and "Parental Supervision Suggested".

Boo&BugsMom replied:
This was one of my points too. Having an excessive amount of anything isn't good. Moderation is key. My kids don't have any extremely expensive gadgets or even a tv in their room, but Tanner does have a DS and we have a couple video game consoles. He is also allowed to play on our computer (he doesn't have his own though). I don't see anything wrong with kids having a few cool things (although I still just can't forsee spending all that money for an iPad or iTouch just for a child)...but it should all be in moderation.

coasterqueen replied:
Never ever seen commercials on that kind of stuff. Kylie has a 4-wheeler too, btw.

coasterqueen replied:
I couldn't either, we got very lucky this year and got Kylie's iPod touch for free.

mummy2girls replied:
so just like the ipad... no commercilas geared to kids but they have apps for kids of all ages:)

luvbug00 replied: I'm not trying to pick on u. I'm trying to understand. If school has one and Marcus has one, then why does she need one? Really trying to see if I missed something.

jcc64 replied: Seems like a couple of different conversations going on here: whether too much tech. is "good" for kids, and/or how much is too much when it comes to big ticket items? With regard to the latter, imo, that can only be answered on a case-by-case basis, depending on the financial particulars and values of each family. In our case, I do believe that we've probably conditioned our kids to expect a lot of "stuff," and I kind of regret that, but then again, we spend what we can afford to spend. There were some years when I was back in school when things got tight, and we prepared the boys (Corey still believed in Santa) for the fact that we were scaling back. They handled it with grace, which to me seemed like a good sign. I think everything hinges on expectation or obligation: buying a certain thing or spending a certain amount b/c the kid expects it or feels entitled to it, is where the whole thing goes south for me.
As far as technology in our kids' lives, that's a whole 'nother conversation, about which I have plenty to say, but I think it's kind of ot.

cameragirl21 replied:
Actually, I'd love to hear your opinion, Jeanne. I suspect you won't agree with me given your DH and oldest DS are techies but I'm always interested in your POV regardless.
I get that kids today won't grow up the way I did in the 80s but seriously, it's all becoming a bit too Fahrenheit 451 for me.

jcc64 replied: It's a mixed bag for me, Jen. Being around teenagers all day, I do get a bird's eye view of just how much technology is reshaping EVERYTHING, including kids' cognitive functioning. I see that, generally speaking, a lot of kids have a VERY difficult time attending to anything that isn't a full-on frontal assault of their senses, in other words, they need a tremendous amount of sensory stimulation to get excited about anything. And their attention spans are very, very limited. They attack problems in the most superficial ways, and their threshold for frustration is really low. If they don't get the instant "pay-off," they give up almost immediately.
There is a growing body of research on how technology is permanently rewiring children's developing brains that backs up much of what I've been observing with my own students. I spent the first two weeks of the school year reading about this very subject with my sophomores, and they are aware of the problem, too. They know they get distracted very easily, and they agree that technology has kind of gotten out of hand in a lot of ways, but two seconds later, they're texting under the desk. The quickest way to freak a kid out is to take his phone away until the end of the school day. Kids would rather get suspended than give up their phones. Happens on a regular basis in my school.
I think we are still largely unaware of the fall-out yet to come with this generation. But the horse is out of the barn. For better or worse, this is the society we've created.

mummy2girls replied:
The school gave him one to use at work for his autistic child. Yes he can bring it home but Jenna can't use it and he can't add apps for her the school has to approve of them. Or the therapists that help him. So there are restructrictions. We want Jenna to have her own. Where she can use it anytime and add her apps she likes ....

Boo&BugsMom replied:
No, I've actually seen an iPad commercial...however, I live in the US...so. I'm sure you can also go to the Apple website and look up their commercials...perhaps there is one with a kid in it that I'm not aware of. When I talk about marketing I'm also not just talking about commercials. Marketing also goes beyond just the general commercials. Again...I'm not arguing with you, just pointing out facts (and yes it is fact they come with apps for kids...like I already explained). If your child has an iPad...good for her...I myself just can't see spending the money on it just for them to have their own and potentially use it to wrong way. Now...as a family gift, yes, or getting one for myself and letting the kids use their own apps, yes. I just have a different view of it all and THAT IS OK!

Karen, I would do the same thing if I upgraded something like that of my own like you did. We have done that everytime we get new phones and give the boys our old ones to play with. Our 'newest' old ones have MP3 players in them so now we don't have to buy them MP3 players!

Boo&BugsMom replied: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=biIQ15iSNYY&feature=related

Here is the commericial seen in the US, in case you were wondering.

I should also point out that the iPad also has apps for infants and toddlers. Aiden better hold his breathe though because he will NOT be getting one of those puppies anytime soon.

lisar replied:
Most of the ones I have seen are locally owned places around here. Its a big thing where I live. We have 3 national forest and we live within an hour of each one, so its a very popular thing to do. Lexi is also a member of the Florida Trail Riding Association.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
4 wheelers are big thing in our state up north too. Well, they are down here too in the southern part but more up north. Troy grew up with 4 wheelers and everytime we go up north the boys want rides on G-ma and G-pa's! If we lived in an area where we had a lot more land we would probably have them. They are SO MUCH FUN! The boys have 4 wheelers, but they are the heavy plastic kid kind (like the battery powered cars)...not the 'real' 4 wheelers, or what I would call a real one anyway.

luvbug00 replied: i wish there was nature to 4 wheel in.
I see guns and 4 wheelers as culture things and not as toys. It's the culture to hunt with dad, like a right of passage. 4 wheels are also just a culture thing. I dunno i just never saw them the same way i see computers and tvs, or barbies or toy trucks.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
I have to agree. I can see where you'd think they are different. I do too, but can't fully explain why.

coasterqueen replied:
Actually we didn't end up having to do it that way. I ended up with a gracious gift that allowed me to give her an iPod touch for free! Basically my boss had a TON of credit card "reward" points and he told my coworker and I to split them up and have fun catalog shopping! So we got Kylie the iPod touch that way, plus I got a bunch of other stuff. Feel very blessed to have had that given to us. Otherwise she would have gotten my old one and I would have gotten an upgrade, but luckily we didn't have to do it that way because the upgrade, while new, didn't have as much memory as my old phone, so I was glad to not have to do it that way. She had had our old iPod though, which is now going to Megan. So we do try to do things that way, we just got very lucky this time not to have to do that.

PrairieMom replied: I have no idea how I missed this post for 3 whole pages, now there is way to much to read since I am SUPPOSED to be making cookies. So, I'm just going to weigh in.

IMO there is WAY to much technology going on anymore. In my home we have at least 5 different ways to access the internet at any time, and only 2 adults who are supposed to be using it. Way over kill IMO.
I believe that the internet is not bring familys together, but coming between them. Way to much time is spent looking at a screen when you should be spending time together. I mean, really what is it all about in the end? Family is way to important.

We don't have cable anymore, and have way cut back on our TV time, in hopes of spending more quality time together.
My kids do not / will not have TV's in their rooms. I want to know what they are watching, and I want them to be doing it with me, not locked away alone.

the techiest thing Ben has in a DS, and he gets to play that once a week, when we are at Al's ballet practice. On the weekends, if he has been really good he can play a game on our desk top for a while. but that is it.

coasterqueen replied:
You make it sound like if a kid has a tv in their room they are off viewing it "locked away" and the parent doesn't know what they are watching. I ALWAYS know what my children are watching if they are watching it on their tvs because *I* make a point to do so.

You also make it sound that all who have all kinds of tech stuff much not have much family time together. "Too much time staring at screen".


I'm wondering where you are basing your opinions from? Your own situations before you made changes in your home or does everyone you know act like that?

That is FAR from the case in our home. Granted, after the kids go to bed Ryan and I are watching tv and are staring away at the screens......sometimes. TV is on, but we aren't ALWAYS on the computers. Now that being said, yes we aren't spending a lot of quality time together in the 1 to 2 hours we do this, but we are very fortunate to have LOTS of time every day to communicate so that time is our personal, our "own" time because it's the only time we get that. We are at work all day, kids until they go to bed so we never get our "own" downtime. We don't do this on the weekends, though. But anyways, we eat lunch EVERY day together where we spend that time face to face, etc. We get other times, too, but you know what I'm saying.

Otherwise none of us are staring at a screen. We aren't watching tv while eating dinner. Every moment we are together as a family is spent being a family and attentive to one another YET...........YET we have LOTS.....LOTS of technology in our home. I know NUMEROUS people just like me. So again, I'm not sure where you are basing your opinions from......maybe from what you see when out and about

coasterqueen replied:
I don't see them that way, completely......why? Because while they may be cultural things and they are I guess popular around here...I grew up with them around. I didn't have one growing up, but family did. My parents now have three of them for just the two of them. Kylie has one. We hope to have our own someday too. But they aren't necessities, so I think of them more as "toys". Wouldn't it be a "toy" if you really don't NEED one? That is the logic I use with a lot of things. Guns, IMO, the same thing....UNLESS you ACTUALLY hunt with them. I grew up in a family of hunters and my dad actually HAD to hunt in the winter time for our food as he was laid off every winter. So then it was a necessity. Now it wouldn't be so much.

PrairieMom replied:
I'm not judging, you run your household in a way that feels right to you, not better or worse than how i run mine.

I would just prefer to not have my child stare at a tv at all. We can go days without watching TV. ( when the kids are awake, then same as you, after bed time, Its TV couch time for me and DH)
I would rather have my kids playing toys, or outside.

And it has been my experience that when the TV is on, we are not interacting as a family, and that is when we are in the same room together. I just think that at 7 and 3 tvs in bedrooms are a completely unnecessary luxury.

MommyToAshley replied:
We play all sorts of games on the computer and console together as a family. The main one we like to play together is Rock Band....I am a horrible drummer (I should stick with the guitar, but they forgive me). Ashley is pretty good on the keyboards and she sings. My husband is a big kid, so we are probably not your typical family... Ashley calls us a "gaming family" LOL.

We also play other games together online or offline (board games), and either way we are spending time together and interacting. I don't think havnig electronics play a role in how much you interact with your kids.

We also have "movie and popcorn night" where we cuddle up on the couch and watch a good family movie. I see nothing wrong with that either.

People that use the Wii or TV as a babysitter would find something else to occupy their kids if they didn't have a TV, so I don't think gadgets and tv are evil. "It is all a matter of how you use what you got, not what you got" LOL.

As for the educational value of electronics... this week alone, Ashley was able to answer questions in her class that noone else knew because of her iTouch. She was able to tell everyone what longitude and latitude were because she went Geocaching with Daddy. And, she was able to tell what the boiling point of water was in celcius because she was playing around with some conversion app the other day. So, again, it's a useful tool (oh, and she uses it for music too-- LOL)

Sorry, I think I got a little OT, but I have to disagree with the logic that electronics are evil. Of course there needs to be balance and kids need time to draw, color, run outside and play with other kids..... but I think only doing those things and never using an electronic device is just as bad as overusing them. Of course, this is just my opinion and we are a "techy, gaming, gadget" family, but that doesn't mean the way were are is any better or worse than anyone else, just different.

coasterqueen replied:
I have no issue with you judging me as I am comfortable with the decisions I make. I was just curious what you are basing your opinions on, that's not necessarily judgements, per se. But when you said,

"I believe that the internet is not bring familys together, but coming between them. Way to much time is spent looking at a screen when you should be spending time together."

That is an opinion. I asked you how you are basing your opinions, whether it's whats going on in your own home or somewhere else, because I don't think this is the case for EVERYONE. It's never been an issue in mine or many I know.

"My kids do not / will not have TV's in their rooms. I want to know what they are watching, and I want them to be doing it with me, not locked away alone."

Same here....locked away alone? That's not an opinion? If it is, I asked how you based your opinion. My kids aren't "locked away alone" - they don't even have locks on their doors anymore and their doors are always open and IF (which is NEVER) their tv is on I know exactly what they are watching. So was this something going on in your home or is something you see from people you know?

You never really answered that question for me, and I'm curious on how you are basing your opinions, that's all, especially in how you worded your post as if those who have those types of things, etc do those types of things.

moped replied: Back to the OP for one sec.......

If I cant afford it, you can bet my kids won't have it either!

PrairieMom replied:

For starters, I don't mean literally locked away, I just mean off by them selves, alone, in a room.

my opinions are just that, opinions. I base them on my own personal experiences, what I see going on in other peoples homes, and how some of my friends live their lives.

I have one friend who completely got rid of every TV in their home for the very reason that I stated. They wanted to have more quality family time. At the end of the day, what matters is family, the time you spend with your family, interacting with your children, not what TV shows you watched. I agree with that. Not that I don't watch TV, or spend time online, so I guess I am a bit hypocritical. Although, This post is kind of inspiring me to tighten down on my computering activities too.

As I stated before, I would just rather my kids not sit in front of the TV. MOst of the stuff on there is stuff I don't want them exposed to anyway. I would rather they play together, go outside, ( although, it is flippin FREEZING out right now) I would rather they read books or draw.


Annnnnnd, this thread is officially hijacked. Sorry.

PrairieMom replied:
that too!

MommyToAshley replied:
Same here.

mummy2girls replied:
you just explained and supported my reason why i chose jenna to have an ipad. its very beneficial for things like that. So Ashley has an itouch which is a mini version so to speak of an ipad. They look the same just bigger in size.

And im going to ask this question and its not directed to just you DeeDee because im qoteing you im just asking this to everyone.... So why is bad for me to get her an ipad when the apps as you explained can be benficial. if its the expense of it... we only paid 200 so to me that almost a free one because the cheapest one is 550 before taxes...

and jenna wont be staring it all day. she will have a time limit. the rest fo teh time we are doing tthings as a family.

coasterqueen replied:
Shelly,

Don't feel bad for getting her what you feel is right for her. Don't feel like you have to justify yourself. There are some in the world who only see things a certain way and I'm not just talking about people on this board. People see things negatively because it makes them feel better, like they are better people because they don't do this or that. They have NO clue what you do with your child in your home and base opinions on people as a WHOLE, which is wrong. It's Y O U that has to be comfortable with your decisions. I mean, seriously, I don't give a rats behind what others think about how many gadgets are in my home, when my children use them, etc. If they want to think just because I have a tv in every room that my family spends more time with the tv than they do interacting, then so be it. We happened to have a tv in every room (except Megan's) BEFORE our kids were even born. Most of our tvs.....PAWN SHOP bought AGES ago Our laptops........the only one we've bought for the kids is a mini one for traveling. Otherwise one is a "server" and the others we use. The kids use them, but not often. Yes, my kids have a HAND ME DOWN iPod. Yes, I'm "buying" (getting for free) Kylie an iPod touch for Christmas so she won't use my iPhone. Why do I have an iPhone? FOR WORK. My work paid for it. Yes, I have a Wii that mostly collects dust. YES, my kids have Nintendo Ds's that they use pretty much when we travel. But you know what, since we have all those things I'm PRETTY SURE we are not getting the quality family time we need and I'm pretty sure people feel sad and sorry that that's the case. GUESS WHAT? I'm not! Why? Because I know in my heart and my conscious knows that's NOT the case. But if others want to think that, that's fine. I'm good with that. Whatever makes them feel better for NOT having those things for their kids or what justifies their actions, so be it.

Get Jenna the iPad. Be HAPPY about your decision. Don't worry if others aren't.

mummy2girls replied:
We already got the ipad... i added some free aps for her and its wrapped and ready for christmas. I know i shouldnt let it bug me and its my choice, my child, my descion... Im just hurt by the fact people say shes too immauture, etc etc etc. But then people turn around and say thier child has the ipod touch, tv's, wiis, ds's. They also are giving thier child gadgets. And the apps are benficial for the child as an educational tool. Again i know i should justify my decsions whenever i make one concerning my child... We have gadgets... iphone, wiis, ipads, comps and tv's and we have limited time on them because when the kids are awake we want time with them. we eat together, we go out and soi much more. the time we get on full force is when they are in bed.

MommyToAshley replied:

The last time I responded to this same question, it didn't go so well. But, I will give it a try anyways....

I never said it was "BAD" for you to buy Jenna an iPad, I just said that I would never buy one for Ashley at this age. We have an iPad and occasionally let her use it under supervision, but I would not get her one of her own mainly because of the expense, how fragile they are -- and they are harder to handle than an iTouch, especially for littler hands. I know you said someone told you that you could probably drop it on your living room floor and it would not break, but I would not recommend it.

Here's a quote from a review from a tech magazine:
"The weight, size, and novel ways of using these devices will put them at risk for a higher rate of accidents. As a result, we expect 10-15 percent of these devices to fail from accident-related causes each year."

I was just giving you my opinion on the matter as I was not willing to risk $500-600 (cost depends on which version you have) thrown down the drain. Even if it is virtually free to you or you only paid $200 for it, it is still a $500 item and it would cost that much to replace. Without even considering the durability, it's just too expensive of a gift for a child so young, at least in my own household. So, please don't take it as I am saying you are a bad Mom for giving her an iPad... it's your money and your daughter, do as you please. You asked for an opinion and I gave mine, you can take it or leave it.

mummy2girls replied:
i did take it when i asked about it waaay back. But i didnt even ask or anyones oppinion lately. I asked about her tantrums and that i was thinking of returning it as a lesson to her bahviour, it just turned into where she is too immature, and a whole kids got too many gadgets. i know your esponded way back and if thats what you meant im sorry... as for the durability... yes it can be dropped on my floor and not break. And if it does break she wont be gettinga replacement. Thats one thing we told her, she is responsible for taking care of it. it breaks then tough. yes its a big expense but we feel its a good investment... she handles marcus's one and the one at her school wiuth no problems...

MommyToAshley replied:
I highly recommend that you not test that theory. Again, just my opinion, but there's a reason the warranty doesn't cover accidental breakage.

cameragirl21 replied: Ok, I'm sure I'll regret what I'm about to say but here goes:
Shelly, no one here is saying you're a bad mom for making this decision and I'm 100% sure no one here thinks you're a bad mom altogether. The child is yours, the money is yours, the decision is yours to make.
The fact that you're getting rather defensive about this tells me that you too are not entirely convinced that this is a good decision.
Speaking for myself only, the way I see it, Jenna is a little girl, a little 8 year old girl. And you're handing her an expensive, complex, and extremely fragile device that adults manage to break every single day. And you're telling her it belongs to her and that if she breaks it, she doesn't get a new one. To me, that is putting a tremendous amount of responsibility on a child that is too young to even comprehend what that all means.
An ipad is NOT a toy. It may have kids' apps on it but it was not intended for children and I am certain if you called the people (I don't mean an employee of Apple but the actual team who created this device) who invented it and told them you plan to give it to an 8 year old child, they'd tell you it's a bad idea. That's not what it was intended for.
And I think it's great that Ashley knew about latitude and longitude from her ipod but I am certain that there are plenty of kids out there who knew this without having an ipod. Not saying it's bad to give a child an ipod, my point is that this is NOT the only way a child can learn and I feel you are assuming her delays will be resolved with the purchase of an ipad and that is simply not the case, of that I can assure you.
Also, from what I gather, Ashley is being raised by two techy parents--an only child of two techy parents, meaning she is more likely to have a strong understanding of techy gadgets, more so than other kids her age. I say this because I am an only child of two electrical engineers and I had a much stronger concept about the dangers of electrocution than other kids my age.
My thought is that you are giving her something she is not old enough to appreciate and if she does break it (not saying she will but many adults break it so there's certainly a good chance a child will do the same) she can't even appreciate what she has lost. There is no way, she's just a child.
I once dropped my 4000 dollar camera, complete with an 1800 dollar lens on my marble floors and I was in a panic. My camera is insured, it would be replaced without issue, I've had cameras go down on me and Canon always replaces them but I worked hard for that camera, I know what it is, I appreciate what it does and the idea of destroying it horrifies me even though it's totally replaceable. No child can understand this unless perhaps she has worked for it.
I went to high school in a very wealthy area where kids drove porshces to school and they had no appreciation for any of it, they couldn't possibly appreciate something they didn't have to work for and didn't understand that much of the world is deprived of those things. Not saying it's the same but my underlying issue is not about expense because I wouldn't give any 8 year old of mine an ipad even if it were given to me free but rather that they need to be able to appreciate what it is and what it's worth. An 8 year old is a child and should imo be get age appropriate toys for Christmas, not be responsible for the safe keeping of adult gadgets.
This is jmo, as I said before, your decision as Jenna's mom rules the day but once you asked why people responded to you the way we did, I am at least speaking for myself here with respect to what my thoughts are. If I were in your place, I'd get her some dolls or whatever toys she's interested in for Christmas and present the ipad as a family gift that she will use with your supervision. But again, you need to do whatever you feel is right, regardless of what anyone else here or IRL thinks.

boyohboyohboy replied: Just out of my own nosey curiosity are the apps Jenna plays on the iPad available on the computer? I think if I remember right you wanted her to have the iPad for education purposes, maybe she can find them on line?
I wonder if schools use them because they are more mobile for a teacher who goes from child to child?
I would say it's a mute point, you got it for her, and you are comfortable with it, that's what matters.
I hope she is thrilled when she opens her very own and it lasts a very long time for her.
And off topic even more...I see a new version of the iPad is coming out soon.

mummy2girls replied:
I never tried the theory and i didnt say i did..why would you think i would Dee Dee? i said it didnt break when it got dropped but i didnt say i purposdly did that? i accidently dropped it taking it out of the packadge and it is fine. so yes because I dropped it there can be a chance jenna will too. but we went into this investment knowing it could very well happen ....

mummy2girls replied:
we would never get her the newer version. she got the cheapest one. but thats cool. Just like anything else a new version will always come out...LOL

the apps.. not sure...

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Hey...it's free...that's all that matters! That's how we got our Wii as well. Our rewards checking earned us over $200 in Target gift cards...JACKPOT!

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Yep...exactly! My kid wont be the guinea pig that gets to test out a fancy new gadget...I WILL BE FIRST!

MommyToAshley replied:
It was a figure of speech.... I don't think anyone would purposely drop it. (Of course there are people that put them in blenders -- check out youtube, lol). I didn't catch that you already dropped it.... I thought you said that someone told you that if you drop it, it won't break and my point was that I wouldn't want to put that theory to test (meaning that I wouldn't want to accidentally drop it). I'm glad it didn't break when you dropped it, phew. But, I think that lends credibility to the statement that it is not easy to handle, and if you dropped it, it would be even easier for a child to drop. Hopefully that won't happen though.

MommyToAshley replied:
Shelly, I missed the fact that you already bought it for her too. Geesh, I need to brush up on my reading/comprehension skills. I agree with the statement above... that my opinion, and this entire conversation about the iPad is a mute point if you already made up your mind. Why ask anyone's opinion if you are not even wanting to consider their response?

mummy2girls replied:
the only reason im getting defensive is alot of people is telling me she is too immature for it which i dont think she is, and such. so yes if someone says things l;ike that about my child i will defend. You will know when you become a mom yourself... and youll understand. so i am 100 percent sure.

the reason we told her this is because she wanted one, we explained that it will be her responsibility and if it gets broken then she wont get a new one. She understands that consept extremely well. She has other things like a Wii( well for the whole family) and a ds and she knows if she breaks it or forgets on the bus she is not getting another one. Just like her new glasses she got. We told her they are expensive and that she has to take good care of them at school and to take them off at recess and gym and such as we cant keep replacing them. and she knows what that means.I know adfults can break things like that, heck i dropped my iphone in teh toilet. BUT we gave her that trust... yes she is 8 but you personally dont know how mature she is or what she understands or not. again im being defensive on this comment because again she is MY child....

I know its NOT a toy! I know they have kids apps and not intended for children. and im sure they will say its a bad idea... I GET THAT! and NO im not saying her delays will be resolved through the ipad. I just know it will help her with her delays. And we wont use this as a way to teach her. it will help with her learning but we do despite the way it looks... we read to her, she reads to us, we take her places for her to learn like museums, space and science centre. we have the old encyclopedias, we have the computer games as well, she goes to school, and Marcus who is alomost a teachere( 2 more years of school) does alot with her too.

and agin yes she does appreciate everythingw e giuve her, cheap or expensive. You dont know jenna so you have NO idea if she can understand or not. And yes she can appreciate what she lost. We gave her our video camera BECAUSE we got a better one.. that one costs 600. she used it so much because she wanted to watch her as a little child it stopped working. Kapoot. she was devasted and crushed and to this day she is upset. so yes i know there is a chance she will break it, drop it, or whatever BUT thats what we accepted going into this!!

and agin i dont want anyone to think we are handing this gadget and letteing her at it and leaving her be for hours on end. She has an hour a day on it and she is too sit on teh couch next to us and that it is. So its not like she is lugging it outside like adults. For those adults that broke thiers were they sitting on the couch when it broke? no probably walkingw ith it or out and about with it...

and again she is my child you dont know her so whats make you know how or what she apprciates. Again im defensinsive because she is my child!

mummy2girls replied:
its not a mute poiint even if i already bought it. im getting defensive because how they say jenna is immature and such.

moped replied: So it isn't a total surprise that she is getting it?

DARN, I would have liked to see her face if it was!

Boo&BugsMom replied: I don't know what other posts said word for word, but I would like to clarify that I never said Jenna was personally too immature. I simply said that I peronally would never get one for a child under a certain age (as Tanner is 8 as well) because I can't see how a child could appropriately handle having their own until they are quite a bit older. If someone takes it as I think Jenna is too immature, well to be honest, that's really not my problem if someone is misconstruding my opinion and taking it that personally since I was only answering the OP. If someone said I wouldn't get my child a BB gun until they are 13 because I don't think a child could handle it until then...I wouldn't get all bent out of shape, I would just chalk it up to them having their own opinion. Not sure if anything I personally said led you to get this defensive, but would like to just clarify that and point it out. There are reasons why I have my own opinion on the matter, and there are reasons why you have yours...period...and I'm not judging your parenting due to it being different than mine.

Boo&BugsMom replied:
And I should also point out the OP, in case anyone has forgotten. It's Stacy's post about young kids getting expensive gifts at an early age which I think people are still on the same page about.

cameragirl21 replied: Shelly, I just want to say that my post had nothing to do with Jenna specifically or how mature or immature she is. My opinion is about 8 year olds and ipads in general and I don't think one has to be a mom to know this, all one has to do is spend a sufficient amount of time with both 8 year olds and ipads.
That's all I'm going to say on the subject--that my opinion and posts had nothing to do with Jenna specifically, I was just referring to her as an 8 year old girl, no different from any other 8 year old girl or boy for that matter with respect to my opinion on 8 year olds owning ipads. Just wanted to make that clear.

MommyToAshley replied:
Agreed, I thought that is that basic gist of what I said when asked why I thought it was a bad idea. I thought she was looking for info to make a buying decision and I never said she was "bad" for doing it. I gave my opinion on why I would never buy one for Ashley.

I think the immaturity statement comes for the thread about Jenna throwing temper tantrums. I never said anything about immaturity and tried to stay clear of that entire thread, But, I also don't think it is fair for you to get upset with other people when you brought up the immaturity issue yourself. You can't give facts and then expect people to compartmentalize those facts.... I can see where someone would draw the conclusion that if the child still throws temper tantrums then it might not be a good idea to put a $600 device in her hands. You are giving conflicting information... on one hand you say she is very mature and responsible, but on the other hand you say she throw tantrums whenever you say no. Well, what happens when she asks for more time with the iPad and you say no? So, while I didn't say it before, I will say it now. Based on the information you have given that Jenna throws tantrums anytime you say no, my opinion is that she is too young to have an iPad (at least until you get the tantrums under control). Again, my opinion doesn't really matter as you've made up your mind.

It all goes back to the same thing.... you can't ask for an opinion and then not like what is said. Do you want honest opinions or do you just want to hear the people that agree with you. Yes, this is a place of support, but I would want my friends to be honest with me even if it is not what I want to hear. There are people that think Ashley shouldn't have an iTouch or a TV, and I simply stated why I think all electronics are not bad and how I use them and maybe they can understand why I think it is a good idea. But, I don't have to agree with their opinion to understand what they are saying or to benefit from their point of view. I actually agree with their idea that too much use/abuse is not good. And, like Jennifer said, there are other ways to learn the same information... it's a good remnider that curling up with a book is just as good. But, that doesn't mean I don't think Ashley should have an iTouch, but it is good to have friends that you can trust to be your sounding board and give you an honest opinion.

Ugghh... I knew I shouldn't have bitten and answered the first question.

mummy2girls replied:
the tanrums is something else. Jenna comes from two homes. she stays here but then goes to her dads 3 days a week. So she is coming from a place where she gets everythingt o stop the tantrums to here where she doesnt get away with it. So she is tryign to play us. so i dont think its immaturaty that she is throwing them. And those that dont have to deal with that doesnt understand. there are kids out there that live in 2 homes and do fine. know they cant play each parent and knows this happens at dads and this happens at moms. Its different because each child is diff...

ASIDe from all of this... this thread isnt about me asking if its right or not at all.it was about upping your gift each year and i didnt even post it. I never asked if i should buy one. I asked what i should do about santa because after getting the ipad we cant get santa gifts or too many that is and it just led to why i shouldnt get one that young of age. Im nto saying everyone said she was immature just some. I didnt point out who i just stated I saw some say it... if i wanted to know if it was a good gift i would of asked... it just spiraled into the ipad.

yes i asked about the tanturms and i yes did suggest taking the ipad away from her. It just turned into well if she is throwing them she is too young. The tantrums is stemmingf rom something else. She has always been high spirited for sure and has a temper but these awful tantrums bec=gan when marcus came into a worlkd where it was just me and mommy. She LOVES Marcus and would be crushed if he left so i know she wants him here. And then breanna was born, daddy and bea broke up, daddy had a baby boy. she is at my house and then at dads. Living in that life can be overwhe,ming for anyperson and personally i would tantrum too...LOL

anyways im sorry this all turned into the way it did. thsi board is about support but honestly im nto getting any support really like i use to. Yes i ask for oppinions and ai know i will get ones i dont like. i get that i just personally fell im being jumped on with every little thing lately. I dont know why. Im ending my ppart in this thread and will not respond again you can keep answeringa dn responding but im done. I know when to walk away and im walking away

MommyToAshley replied:

I gave a long detailed explanation of why I wouldn't, but here is the gist of it:
1. It is too expensive
2. It is fragile and easy to drop

And, I left this out before but added it just recently:
3. If she is still throwing tantrums, she is not ready for an iPad (regardless of the reason for the tantrums)

You asked an opinion, I gave mine. And, others did the same thing in either this thread or the other. I did not see anyone criticizing or accusing you of being a bad mother, their opinion just differed from yours and you saw that as an attack or criticism when it is not.

coasterqueen replied:
That was the OP, but when she replied to her post she had a totally different response, which is why the OP went from that question to much more depth.


Oh and on the iPad thing......the only reason my kids aren't getting is because I WANT ONE DARN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A lobbyist here in the office got one yesterday and he came up to ask me what our wireless password here in the office was. I told him he was a (not so nice word, jokingly) then told him he better keep his eye on it or it might just disappear. I don't even know WHY I want one. I just like to have the latest technology.

MommyToAshley replied:
You sound like DH, that is why he got one, I think. I wasn't sure I would like it, but it came in handy when we were traveling. I don't want my own though, I still prefer my desktop over anything else.

coasterqueen replied:
I can't convince DH that I SHOULD have one. I've tried. He's much like me with the technology, but because we don't have the cash on hand to buy one he's against it, which I understand. I think if we had the cash on hand he'd be the first to run to the store and knock me down in the process to get it.

MommyToAshley replied:
I hear ya.... DH bought it as his birthday present to himself from me. LOL

Boo&BugsMom replied:
Oh no...I know. My point was that we didn't get off track with anything, IMO. It sounded as though Shelly thought we were getting off track, when really we weren't if you ask me. Still on the topic of kids and expensive gadgets. That was all.

coasterqueen replied:
I think maybe I'm off track because I keep confusing posts.

mummy2girls replied:
no that quote wasnt asking if i should get one... you must of read it wrong and that could of been me writing my words wrong... I just asked why is it so bad for me to buy one? I bought it already.

saying why is everyone so hard on why i should get one? So it wasnt me going should i get one but why was it bad that i did... as the apps are educational. So that is my fault in my wording. But i wasnt asking i just was wondering why some thought it was a bad idea...

mummy2girls replied:
i just felt personally my descion in teh ipad was thw worst ever and i felt jumped on and i felt jenna was being seen as an immature child at 8. thats all...

mummy2girls replied:
i know it was teh same topic i just felt as if it was surrounding me and my decision. I felt p[icked on, and jenna as well. I may have took it wrong but thats how i saw it.

lisar replied:
Shelly, either way you look at any of the above post
1. Your a great Mother
2. You dont have to justify to anyone why you bought something for YOUR child.
3. If you feel jeanna would like it, then give it to her
4. You know your child better than any of us, no one thinks your a bad Mom at all.

I have a 5 year old that acts like a 2 or 3 year old, so my baby is Immature and I will admit it. (hince the reason she dont get the nice stuff yet)

coasterqueen replied: Well lets add I am not a kid, and yet today is the SECOND time I've dropped my iPhone and broke it. If Kylie breaks her iPod touch....it's done for good. Now I need to go buy a new phone. sigh.

MommyToAshley replied:
Thus the reason I don't have an iPhone. My phone was up for renewal, and I got the cheapest phone with a keyboard, but not a smartphone that I could find. If I drop it and break it, I don't have to worry about how much money I lost.... and I am not a kid either. LOL DH is VERY careful with his.... he would have a cow if his screen got scratched. I don't want to live with that kind of pressure.

A&A'smommy replied: I don't see anything wrong with kids having ipads, ipods ect... Alyssa has a tv and a computer in her room (but she is VERY limited to when and what she can do, I ALWAYS know what she is doing on the computer) but when we buy a bigger house it will come out of her room. Autumn has a itouch, she plays educational games, and watches sesame street podcasts on it. She has learned a lot in fact she knows most of her letters and shapes. (wish she had an interest in numbers and colors lol). She is also getting a thing for the ipod to go on so she can listen to her music on it.
Also a LOT of school systems are trying to get ipads and ipods put into schools because they can be VERY educational.
LOL Dee Dee I absolutely LOVE my iphone but I have an otterbox, my phone has been dropped, thrown and kicked and still doesn't have a scratch on it. I have a friend who was working 3 stories up and dropped their iphone and it was fine haha

MommyToAshley replied: I am also too cheap to pay the extra monthly fee for iPhones.

coasterqueen replied:
I would be too, but my work pays for mine and that is why I have an iPhone. That's what they bought me. Mine wouldn't have cracked the two times it has if it had been in a case, which I normally do have it in one. I had taken it out of the case to put it in my sleeve thingy I use to workout.